| Disc 1 | ||||||
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| 1. |
| 2:24 | 
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She is twelve I'm only ten
Buried in this soft mountain of pillows Parents away She asks me have I been touched Have I done the thing with anyone yet Silence - a shy no And there's nothing That we'd rather share Than that bodily warmth if we'd dare But she's already twelve and I am Just a child Warm and shy She's so OLD - already twelve and I am only ten Than was me, young and free, there and then Now in this hotel room I lie wondering, who I am Never quite as sure after a life of questioning Finding out at last that freedom is A state of mind But still not knowing how to get along with this mankind Finding out at last that freedom is a state of mind |
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| 2. |
| 4:59 |
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And so I find myself here once again - first step down
Remedy Lane Budapest you tore my world apart - well, here I am Worn with rope ends on my mind, torn with blood scarred in my eyes But now I'm back to shake that from my life Ending theme, ending theme Ripping at the seams, for an opening Back again at Deak Ter - I know I could have left her there It was the feeling of leaving myself that I could not bear The same old hotel room in Pest one night before the Sziget fest Hungarian Princess will you share my rest? To rest in my... ENDING THEME ENDING THEME Ripping at the seams, for an opening To be honest I don't know what I'm looking for - who to be Sitting here as once before, weeks ago - just waiting for a knock on that door And I have left all I thought was me to find out, to make sure if I was you or me That made me feel so free and real, but when we kiss I don't know, I just don't know 'Cause it leaves a taste of emptiness, and I think What if I'm simply depressed? Blind, just finding rest from my mind here in Budapest? Confusing zest with the joy of being blessed with the bliss of self-escape as we kiss? And mixing my being unstressed with your being undressed and the taste of being true With the fresh taste of me and you as we touch? I don't know But I saw so much of me in you, the me I've missed, the young and free in you But still, that doesn't mean a thing, may not mean anything about my needing you But I guess we had to meat, to be near, to make sure, and still my dear Beyond this bed and that door, to be honest, I fear I just don't know ENDING THEME ENDING THEME Fanning flames to dreams of belonging ENDING THEME ENDING THEME Ripping at the seams, for an opening To be honest, I don't know what I'm looking for... Lying here, watching you leave through that door |
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| 3. |
| 5:52 |
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Watch them dance...
She is intimacy - a wonder of closeness Fighting hypocrisy, a lonely child that never could believe, yet never give up On life's insanity - Understanding is all, she fails to find it, she can never fall All her life she's longed to be weak - All this time on roads turning bleak Watch her dance... He is sharpness of mind - a lonely Peter Pan Always standing behind and from a distance looking at a world of love and deceit This child of air defies every rooftop and tree instead of what he's craving for the most Getting close Live that you might find the answers - you can't know before you live Love and life will give you chances - from your flaws learn to forgive All his life he's sought to be brave - All this time sought someone to save Watch him dance... They are two of a kind - two children warm and wild In a world going blind they raise their voices - speaking for the mute Building dreams of love finding their way through it They are turned into myths - a beacon of hope Live that you might find the answers - you can't know before you live Love and life will give you chances - from your flaws learn to forgive ALL HIS (life) HE WAS (just) WISHING (to) BE TOUCHED (but) TOO SCARED (of) WHAT HE (de)SIRED (while) ALL HER (life) SHE WAS (an) OBJECT (of) GROWN MEN'S (de)SIRE (and) WISHED TO (be) UNTOUCHED (now) THEY MUST (try) TO WORK (their) UNFORGOTTEN ... sexuality OUT! Watch them dance... Always being much more human than they wished to be They built up a world so wonderful, so pure and tense Stained only now and then by the blood of their young innocence All their life on Tolkien's grounds (Forests and dreams) All their time on islands unfound Trapped in a Fandango - Watch them dance... FANDANGO! Live that you might find the answers - You can't wait before you live Love and life will give you chances - From your flaws learn to forgive... |
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| 4. |
| 8:17 |
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Touching ground
Going home to those I miss Safe and sound Weeks of exile turn to bliss But there's something in her voice When she is calling me A trace of blood to lead me Through roads of agony With blood taste in my mouth And clouds before my eyes I kneel beside the bed Where my bleeding dryad lies Three young souls in misery Hitting ground Nausea wakes me up at dawn Hopes are found Dissected, turned and then Withdrawn A chair of steel and wire Her legs are open wide Helpless in myself I stand there cold beside The doctors stay away Leave us with this dismay To see the colors of a miracle Fade and turn to gray Then a cry and rivers of blood Flow so sadly Bringing you Our dreams pour into a cold tray Two young souls in misery Missing You I never knew your name but I will miss you just the same I was to live for you I lost the will to live at all the day you came It'll never be the same but I will love you just the same You were there to be the first, how wonderful Now I will always fear to hope again The irony Of seeing me whispering through her skin So joyfully To our child there deep within Or of when she called to me To tell me cheerfully That she had seen your shape On a hospital screen And of nurses being concerned That you never moved or turned Too late we see the warnings Too late we learn I never saw your face and now you're gone without a trace Except the trace of blood that's deeply scarred into my eyes To fill your place It'll never be the same but I will love you just the same I was prepared to be your father How can I ever prepare for that again? Still I follow that trace of blood Always leading back to you Hollow years of damming that flood Two young souls in misery Missing you... missing you... |
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| 5. |
| 4:00 |
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I lie awake watching your shoulders
Move so softly as you breathe With every breath you're growing older But that is fine if you're with me I pledge to wake you with a smile I pledge to hold you when you cry I pledge to love you till I die Till I die The rays of dawn play on your eyelids A sleeping beauty dressed in sun I will wake you with a smile I will hold you when you cry I will love you till I die Till I die Till I die I believe this heart of mine when it tells my eyes That this is beauty I believe this heart of mine when it tells my mind That this is reason I believe this heart of mine when it cries at time That this is forever I believe this heart of mine when it tells the skies That this is the face of God I lie awake watching your shoulders |
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| 6. |
| 7:24 |
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I dream my dreams all alone at night
- my life's a cartoon in black and white I'm sick of this paint in my face! I'm always the one to make the show - a laughing clown, wings black as a crow I carry this large mind with pain A mind in this world seems in vain I remember all those years, running through the freedom What became of the child I used to be? I remember all those tears, melting my own face and now It has become the one I thought was yours Oh, look at this pitiful young soul - is he beyond or behind, who knows... But there's no one to burn at his pace Contemplating wave lengths in the bath while scorching himself to make us laugh This beckoning mind cannot be Insanity might set it free I remember all those years when I was invincible What became of the child that used to laugh? I remember all those fears, bleaching this wild heart and now It has become the gray I thought was yours If you'd just let him in, if you would just touch him He would love, he would grow, he could rest his old soul Maybe he's difficult but he's still beautiful Wild at heart, troubled mind, torn apart, seeking his kind |
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| 7. |
| 4:49 |
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Let me go
Let me go Let me seek the answers that I need to know Let me find a way Let me walk away Through the Undertow Please let me go Let me fly Let me fly Let me rise against that blood-red velvet sky Let me chase it all Break my wings and fall Probably survive So let me fly Let me fly... Let me run Let me run Let me ride the crest of chance into the sun You were always there But you may lose me here Now love me if you dare And let me run I'm alive and I am true to my heart now - I am I, but why must truth always make me die? Let me break! Let me bleed! Let me tear myself apart I need to breathe! Let me lose my way! Let me walk astray! Maybe to proceed... Just let me bleed! Let me drain! Let me die! Let me break the things I love I need to cry! Let me burn it all! Let me take my fall Through the cleansing fire! Now let me die! Let me die... Let me out Let me fade into that pitch black velvet night |
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| 8. |
| 7:02 |
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She is still young...
Another day of emptiness This life is wearing her down The room around her is a mess Her children safe with her mom She is still young but feeling old Two children with different fathers She sits on the bathroom floor alone The shower chain broke Her neck hurts Then another night of emptiness to wear her down Naked to the world she wraps her sadness in a gown Her children fast asleep she sears the dark with glassy eyes Choosing carefully among her husband's business ties "Over!" she cries through rope ends and silk ties Beautiful life escaping her young blue eyes (But life holds her hand, refusing to let go Leaving her breathing on the floor) They're still asleep don't hear her cry And she's still obsessed with rope ends This time she picks a stronger tie With Winnie the Pooh and friends She is still young but feeling old A child dying to be a mother Now she hangs from the ceiling all alone All pressure is falling from her Seeing guilt has taught her guilt she's raised on disbelief Merely twenty beautiful but with a taste for grief She has learnt all that there is to know about hopelessness Seeing that no effort in this world can stand her test "Over!" she cries through rope ends and silk ties Beautiful life escaping her young blue eyes (And Winnie is strong, would never let her fall Prevents her from breathing till she's not there at all But life holds her hands, refusing to let go Leaving her breathing on the floor) Seeing guilt has taught her guilt she's raised on disbelief Merely twenty beautiful but with a taste for grief She has learnt all that there is to know about helplessness Seeing that no caring in this world can ease her stress Helpless she lies in rope ends and undies Unseeing eyes fixating Eeyore's smile "Over!" she cries as she's going unblind Still in this life Still in this troubled mind (The ceiling let go, the old house let her fall Dropping her breathing to the hard cold floor Hitting her head - a broken china soul Red stains on porcelain and she's not there at all) Breathing she cries for rope ends and silk ties Beautiful eyes Pigliet stands shy behind Broken she lies undead and unblind Beautiful life Beautiful crying young eyes (Blackened and bruised, learning how to see Staring at her tooth - crimsoned ivory Hours they pass this broken china soul Red stains on porcelain And she's not there at all) |
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| 9. |
| 3:59 |
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"Please let me be yours please never leave
Please stay here close to me All love we shared where is it now? Please let me be better than I was Please don't give up on us The thought of leaving you - I do not know how" "I can feel the pain you have inside I see it in your eyes Those eyes that used to shine for me I can feel the wildness in your heart That's tearing us apart My love how can I help if you don't want me" There is nothing you can do to help now I am lost within myself as so many times before There's nothing you can do to ease my pain I am so, so sorry but if you love me you must let go Two young souls in the dance of a chain sling Love once born from the ink of Solitude Bidding to the dance in the swing of a rope end Walking their Remedy Lane through this interlude of pain Who will be there now? When I lose my one true love? (When I lose my love) I am falling now Darkness below and above There is nothing you can do to help now I am lost within myself as so many times before There's nothing you can do to ease my pain I am so, so sorry but if you love me you must let go Two young souls in the dance of a chain sling Love once born from the ink of Solitude Bidding to the dance in the swing of a rope end Walking their Remedy Lane through this interlude of pain Who will be there now? When I lose my one true love? (I am falling now) Have I lost myself? To love someone else... "Please let me be yours please never leave Please stay here close to me All love we shared where is it now? Please let me be better than I was Please don't give up on us The thought of leaving you..." I DO NOT KNOW HOW |
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| 10. |
| 4:57 |
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FEBRUARY,1993(motala)
instrumental 다니엘 길덴로우가 아내를 위해 몇 년 전에 만들어 놓은 곡으로, 서로 상반된 분위기가 나타나는 경우를 그렸다 함 |
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| 11. |
| 2:16 | 
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| 12. |
| 5:20 |
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Ticking... ticking...
Wishing... wishing... Standing here in Busa trying to explain To myself and to the girl beside Why I feel so weightless and free from all my pain Telling myself that you're here inside For the wind is in my hair as we are on this sun hot roof And far below the Danube passes as we talk And I'd like to think that this is what you wanted me to find This happiness could help us rebuild what we've lost Calling - waking every god Falling - love is in my blood Breathing - love is life unbound Kneeling - let me tread its ground Through her eyes I can see who you used to be Through my eyes she can see What that feeling means to me Oh, ticking... Wishing I was stronger - wishing I was whole Wishing I was someone that I'm not And I wish that I could linger to the faith I used to have Wishing of myself to be a god I'm wishing to be God! Calling - waking every god Falling - love is in my blood Breathing - love is life unbound Kneeling - let me tread its ground Through her eyes I can see who I used to be Through my eyes she can see Numb anxiety Love take me home Life shake me home! |
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| 13. |
| 4:22 |
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Day after day
Nothing's changed you're far away But I need you to know that I can't sleep anymore By the nights Night after night The stars are shining so bright Though our pain is larger than Universe tonight I want you to know I can't sleep anymore By the nights By the nights Day after day I want you to say That you're mine You are mine Year after year Tear after tear I feel like my heart will break in two You came like a wind I couldn't defend You cut my heart so deeply The scars won't mend I'll never believe in love anymore After this After this Can never change of rearrange What we lost What we lost Time after time I am wasting my time Living in a past where I was strong But now I am gone I leave no shadow when I'm alone I'll stay forever in my dreams where you are near Want you to know I can't sleep anymore By the nights By the nights Day after day I want you to say That you're mine You are mine |
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| 14. |
| 9:57 |
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And SEX was always there from when I was only eight years
- tempting me leaving me thirsty Sweat, skin, a PULSE divine to balance this restless MIND - it seemed so wonderfully physical Oh the BLOOD, the lust, the bodies that color the world: all drugs to die for! Won't you share my fire? How can LOVE make that world a minefield of forbidden GROUND? A map of untouchable skin and SILENCED desire? And love was there in vain, PROFOUND and deep but traced with pain - too early for a child of TEN Loving the pure and sane he sought the goddesses unstained - watching them turn to flesh again HUNGRY for both the PURITY and SIN Life seemed to him merely like a GALLERY of how to be And he was always much more HUMAN than he wished to be But there is a LOGIC to his world, if they could only see Wishing - sickened - ill - ticking SOMEONE steal this hunger (it's in my blood) always growing stronger (ticking) BUDAPEST I'm learning, Budapest you're burning me This is not who I wanted to be, this is not what I wanted to see She's so young so why don't I feel free now that she is here under me? Naked - Touching - Soft - Clutching And then after all it led me here to wake up again Seeking a love that might make me feel free in myself but then it proves to be Something that hurts inside when we touch, so I move on, I lose my way Astray I'm trying too much to feel unchained, to burn out this sense of feeling cold And every day I seek me prey: someone to taste and to hold I feel alive during the split second when they smile and meet my eyes But I could cry 'cause I feel broken inside! COME and DROWN with me - the UNDERTOW will sweep us away! And you will see that I'm ADDICTED to my HONESTY Trust! 'Cause after all my sense of TRUTH once brought me here But I've LOST control and I don't know if I am true to my soul I've lost CONTROL and I don't know if I am true to my soul Losing control and I don't know if I am TRUE AT ALL And we were always much more human than we wished to be... And I remember when you said you've been UNDER him - I was surprised to feel such pain And all those years of being faithful to YOU despite the hunger flowing through my veins And I have always tried to calm things down - SWALLOW down swallow down "It's just another small THORN in my crown" But suddenly one day there was just too much blood in my eyes, and I had to take this WALK down REMEDY LANE of whens and whys... Empty - Licking - Clean - Choking SOMEONE steal this hunger (possessing my mind) always growing stronger (craving) BUDAPEST I'm learning, Budapest I'm burning me This is not who I wanted to be, this is not what I wanted to see She's so young so why don't I feel free now that she's under me? In the morning she's going away in a Budapest taxi I've paid Seeking freedom I touched the untouched - it's too much - I'm BEYOND THE PALE... Prematurity is the story of both you and me, and we were always much more human than we wished to be Prematurity is truly the story of both you and me, and we were always much more human than we wished to be We were always much more human than we wished to be - we were always much more human than we wished to be We will always be more human then we wish to be WE WILL ALWAYS BE SO MUCH MORE HUMAN THAN WE WISH TO BE... |
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