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| 1. |
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We were walking, holding hands
With our bare feet in the sand And the sea gulls overhead When I broke the spell and said "I could never divorce you Without a good reason And though I may never have to It's good to have options But for now, I need you But for now, I need you But for now, I need you" But it was only in my head Because no one ever says What they really mean to say When there's so much at stake So I told her I loved her And she told me she loved me And I mostly believed her And she mostly believed me |
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| 2. |
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This is how we multiply
Pity that it's not my wife The friction and skin The trembling sighs This is how the bodies move With everything that we could lose Pushing us deeper still The sheets and the sweat The seed and the spill The bitter pill yet undiscovered Gideon is in the drawer Clothes scattered on the floor She's arching her back She screams for more "Oh my sweet rapture I hear Jesus calling me home" Finally a chance to breathe Reaching for the fallen sheets Collapsing in A glowing heap We've gone too far We've done too much We have to quit it Just one more kiss Just one more touch Please ten more minutes This feels so good Just barely moving The tension building Our bodies working To reach the goal Oh my sweet rapture I hear Jesus and the angels Singing "Hallelujiah" Calling me to enter the promised land |
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| 3. |
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Have you ever seen an idealist with gray hairs on his head?
Or successful men who keep in touch with unsuccessful friends? You only think you did And I could've sworn I saw it too But as it turns out It was just a clever ad for cigarettes Cause if it isn't making dollars Then it isn't making sense If you aren't moving units Then you're not worth the expense If you really want to make it You had best remember this: If it isn't penetration Then it isn't worth a kiss And we're so sorry sir, but you did not quite make the cut this time And we'd appreciate it if you cleared your stuff all out by five Don't take it personal Everyone knows you did your best If it makes it easier you should look at it from our perspective Cause if it isn't making dollars Then it isn't making sense If you aren't moving units Then you're not worth the expense If you really want to make it You had best remember this: If it isn't penetration Then it isn't worth a kiss |
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| 4. |
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Ultraviolet rays are washing over all the boys and girls
As their moms lay tanning by the pool Oh look their dad's arriving home All the children hug his neck Unaware of their inheritance All of the experts say you ought to start them young That way they'll naturally love the taste of corporate cum God bless the Indian summer Don't you just love the sun? Doesn't it make you feel good all over? It's my pleasure to announce In conjuction with the feds And my recent popularity Thanks in part to Mother Nature It will never rain again It should do wonders for the GNP If you're just joining us now, you've missed a brilliant speech We go now live to the street to find out what the voters think He's worked a miracle I just now bought a brand new car God bless the Indian summer |
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Here we have our dust free dining set
We guarentee it won't collect a spec Freeing up the children to instead Grow into your molding Heed more of your scolding Go early to their new self-making beds It seems like you'd be tired of losing face Like you'd want to put the children in their place The more you have to tell them to do their chores The more you run the risk of being ignored If you're lucky they'll turn out as good as you You tell them that they're good kids But you know that it's not true Your father drank a little You're on liver number two Progress has a way of feigning ease Convenient new inventions bait the tease For though it is impossible to cure A husband bent on cheating The oxygen's depleting A child who's always bragging A wife's persistent nagging We're equipped to live as though it were If you're lucky they'll turn out as good as you You tell them that they're good kids But you know that it's not true Your father drank a little You're on liver number two |
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This line is metaphysical
And on the one side And on the one side The bad half live in wickedness And on the other side And on the other side The good half live in arrogance And there's a steep slope With a short rope This line is metaphysical And there's a steady flow Moving to and fro Oh look you earned your wings Are you an angel now Or a vulture? Constantly hovering over Waiting for a big mistake Oh my God, what have I done? Wouldn't you love to be On the cover of a magazine? Healthy skin and perfect teeth Designed to hide what lies beneath And I feel the darkness growing stronger As you cram light down my throat And how does that work out for you In your holy quest to be above reproach? Wouldn't you love to be On the cover of a magazine? Healthy skin and perfect teeth Designed to hide what lies beneath What lies beneath |
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| 7. |
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It's priceless when you say you have to work late
When we both know you're at a motel But here's the thing that's so much more depressing Than the infidelity itself: Darling, you are so unoriginal Each move more obvious than the one before it You know I always said that I would kill you If I ever caught you stepping out But now I see I did not know the half of What hatred and regret were all about Darling, you are so unoriginal Each move more obvious than the one before it And I guess I could be bigger but I'd rather make you pay Darling, you are so unoriginal You'll see that I can be so unorignal just like you |
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| 8. |
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The impact
The aftershave The European cigarettes The taxi The alcohol That lingers on your breath The lipstick The street lamp The woolen overcoat The front desk You turn yourself It isn't over yet Second best, oh second best I can learn to live with this Plus I really need a rest After all what's wrong with second best? What's wrong with second best? The motel The distances Cave into kisses cold and wet Familiar exchanges Like needle pulling thread The empty movements That once were so inspired Desperate attempts to fan the flame Without the fire The mattress creeps beneath The symphony of misery and cum Still we lay jerking back and forth And blurring into one Second best, oh second best I can learn to live with this Plus I really need a rest After all what's wrong with second best? What's wrong with second best? |
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| 9. |
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Paramedics brave and strong
Up before the break of dawn Putting poker faces on Broken bodies all day long The neighbors heard a fight Someone had a knife It must have been the wife Husband's lost a lot of blood He wakes up screaming, "Oh my God Am I gonna die? Am I gonna die?" As they strapped his arms down to his sides In times like these they've been taught to lie "Buddy, just calm down, you'll be alright" Several friends came to his grave His children weren't so well behaved As the priest got up to speak The assembly craved relief But he himself had given up So instead he offered them this bitter cup: "You're gonna die We're all gonna die Could be twenty years, could be tonight And lately I have been Wondering why We go to so much trouble To postpone the unavoidable And prolong the pain of being alive" |
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| 10. |
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Wouldn't it be
So wonderful If everything were Meaningless? But everything is So meaningful And most everything turns To shit Rejoice |
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