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| 1. |
| 8:15 | 
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My tea′s gone cold, I′m wondering why
I got out of bed at all the morning rain clouds up my window and I can′t see at all And even if I could it′d all be grey, but your picture on my wall it reminds me that it′s not so bad it′s not so bad My tea′s gone cold, I′m wondering why I got out of bed at all the morning rain clouds up my window and I can′t see at all And even if I could it′d all be grey, but your picture on my wall it reminds me that it′s not so bad it′s not so bad Dear Slim, I wrote but you still ain′t callin I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got ′em There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot ′em but anyways; fuck it, what′s been up? Man how′s your daughter? My girlfriend′s pregnant too, I′m bout to be a father If I have a daughter, guess what I′ma call her? I′ma name her Bonnie I read about your Uncle Ronnie too I′m sorry I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn′t want him I know you probably hear this everyday, but I′m your biggest fan I even got the underground shit that you did with SkamZ I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man I like the shit you did with Ruckus too, that shit was fat Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back, just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan This is Stan My tea′s gone cold, I′m wondering why I got out of bed at all the morning rain clouds up my window and I can′t see at all And even if I could it′d all be grey, but your picture on my wall it reminds me that it′s not so bad it′s not so bad Dear Slim, you still ain′t called or wrote, I hope you have a chance I ain′t mad - I just think it′s FUCKED UP you don′t answer fans If you didn′t wanna talk to me outside your concert you didn′t have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew That′s my little brother man, he′s only six years old We waited in the blistering cold for you, four hours and you just said, ″No.″ That′s pretty shitty man you′re like his fuckin idol He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds It′s like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it My girlfriend′s jealous cause I talk about you 24/7 But she don′t know you like I know you Slim, no one does She don′t know what it was like for people like us growin up You gotta call me man, I′ll be the biggest fan you′ll ever lose Sincerely yours, Stan -- P.S. We should be together too My tea′s gone cold, I′m wondering why I got out of bed at all the morning rain clouds up my window and I can′t see at all And even if I could it′d all be grey, but your picture on my wall it reminds me that it′s not so bad it′s not so bad Dear Mister-I′m-Too-Good To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans, this′ll be the last package I ever send your ass It′s been six months and still no word I don′t deserve itt? I know you got my last two letters; I wrote the addresses on ′em perfect So this is my cassette I′m sending you, I hope you hear it I′m in the car right now, I′m doing 90 on the freeway I love you Slim, we coulda been together, think about it You ruined it now, I hope you can′t sleep and you dream about it And when you dream I hope you can′t sleep and you SCREAM about it I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can′t BREATHE without me See Slim; Shut up bitch! I′m tryin to talk! Hey Slim, that′s my girlfriend screamin in the trunk but I didn′t slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain′t like you cause if she suffocates she′ll suffer more, and then she′ll die too Well, gotta go, I′m almost at the bridge now Oh shit, I forgot, how′m I supposed to send this shit out? Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy You said your girlfriend′s pregnant now, how far along is she? Look, I′m really flattered you would call your daughter that and here′s an autograph for your brother, I wrote it on the Starter cap I′m sorry I didn′t see you at the show, I musta missed you Don′t think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you But what′s this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too? I say that shit just clownin dogg, c′mon how fucked up is you? You got some issues Stan, I think you need some counseling to help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some And what′s this shit about us meant to be together? That type of shit′ll make me not want us to meet each other I really think you and your girlfriend need each other or maybe you just need to treat her better I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time before you hurt yourself, I think that you′ll be doin just fine if you relax a little, I′m glad I inspire you but Stan why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan I just don′t want you to do some crazy shit I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge and had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid and in the car they found a tape, but they didn′t say who it was to Come to think about, his name was.. it was you Damn.. |
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| 2. |
| 5:10 |
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Whatever..
Dre, just let it run Aiyyo turn the beat up a little bit Aiyyo.. this song is for anyone.. fuck it Just shut up and listen, aiyyo.. I sit back with this pack of Zig Zags and this bag of this weed it gives me the shit needed to be the most meanest MC on this -- on this Earth And since birth I've been cursed with this curse to just curse And just blurt this berserk and bizarre shit that works And it sells and it helps in itself to relieve all this tension dispensin these sentences Gettin this stress that's been eatin me recently off of this chest and I rest again peacefully (peacefully).. but at least have the decency in you to leave me alone, when you freaks see me out in the streets when I'm eatin or feedin my daughter to not come and speak to me (speak to me).. I don't know you and no, I don't owe you a mo-therfuck-in thing I'm not Mr. N'Sync, I'm not what your friends think I'm not Mr. Friendly, I can be a prick if you tempt me my tank is on empty (is on empty).. No patience is in me and if you offend me I'm liftin you 10 feet (liftin you 10 feet).. in the air I don't care who is there and who saw me destroy you Go call you a lawyer, file you a lawsuit I'll smile in the courtroom and buy you a wardrobe I'm tired of all you (of all you).. I don't mean to be mean but that's all I can be is just me [Chorus: Eminem] And I am, whatever you say I am If I wasn't, then why would I say I am? In the paper, the news everyday I am Radio won't even play my jam Cause I am, whatever you say I am If I wasn't, then why would I say I am? In the paper, the news everyday I am I don't know it's just the way I am [Eminem] Sometimes I just feel like my father, I hate to be bothered with all of this nonsense it's constant And, 'Oh, it's his lyrical content - - the song 'Guilty Conscience' has gotten such rotten responses' And all of this controversy circles me and it seems like the media immediately points a finger at me (finger at me).. So I point one back at 'em, but not the index or pinkie or the ring or the thumb, it's the one you put up when you don't give a fuck, when you won't just put up with the bullshit they pull, cause they full of shit too When a dude's gettin bullied and shoots up his school and they blame it on Marilyn (on Marilyn).. and the heroin Where were the parents at? And look where it's at Middle America, now it's a tragedy Now it's so sad to see, an upper class ci-ty havin this happenin (this happenin).. then attack Eminem cause I rap this way (rap this way).. But I'm glad cause they feed me the fuel that I need for the fire to burn and it's burnin and I have returned [Chorus] [Eminem] I'm so sick and tired of bein admired that I wish that I would just die or get fired and dropped from my label and stop with the fables I'm not gonna be able to top on 'My Name is..' And pigeon-holed into some pop-py sensation to cop me rotation at rock'n'roll stations And I just do not got the patience (got the patience).. to deal with these cocky caucasians who think I'm some wigger who just tries to be black cause I talk with an accent, and grab on my balls, so they always keep askin the same fuckin questions (fuckin questions).. What school did I go to, what hood I grew up in The why, the who what when, the where, and the how 'til I'm grabbin my hair and I'm tearin it out cause they drivin me crazy (drivin me crazy).. I can't take it I'm racin, I'm pacin, I stand and I sit And I'm thankful for ev-ery fan that I get But I can't take a SHIT, in the bathroom without someone standin by it No I won't sign your autograph You can call me an asshole I'm glad [Chorus] |
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| 3. |
| 4:31 |
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[Eminem]
May I have your attention please? May I have your attention please? Will the real Slim Shady please stand up? I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up? We're gonna have a problem here.. Y'all act like you never seen a white person before Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door and started whoopin her ass worse than before they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!) It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding, he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?" And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!) Feminist women love Eminem {*vocal turntable: chigga chigga chigga*} "Slim Shady, I'm sick of him Look at him, walkin around grabbin his you-know-what Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!" Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose "My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips" And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss And that's the message that we deliver to little kids And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is Of course they gonna know what intercourse is By the time they hit fourth grade They got the Discovery Channel don't they? "We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals who cut other people open like cantaloupes {*SLURP*} But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope {*EWWW!*} But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X) I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up? [Eminem] Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records; well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too! You think I give a damn about a Grammy? Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me "But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?" Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here? So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears? Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV "Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!" I should download her audio on MP3 and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD {*AHHH!*} I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me so I have been sent here to destroy you {*bzzzt*} And there's a million of us just like me who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me and just might be the next best thing but not quite me! Chorus [Eminem] I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you things you joke about with your friends inside your living room The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all I just get on the mic and spit it and whether you like to admit it {*ERR*} I just shit it better than ninety percent of you rappers out can Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings {*HACH*} Or in the parkin lot, circling Screaming "I don't give a fuck!" with his windows down and his system up So, will the real Shady please stand up? And put one of those fingers on each hand up? And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go? Chorus 2X [Eminem] Ha ha Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us Fuck it, let's all stand up |
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| 4. |
| 4:21 |
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OK, I’m going to attempt to drown myself
You can try this at home You can be just like me! Mic check one two.. we recordin? I’m cancerous, so when I diss you wouldn’t wanna answer this If you responded back with a battle rap you wrote for Canibus I strangled you to death then I choked you again Then break your fuckin legs till your bones poke through your skin You beef wit me, I’ma even the score equally Take you on Jerry Springer, and beat yer ass legally I get you blunted off of funny home grown Cause when I smoke out I hit the trees harder than Sonny Bono (Ohh no!!) So if I said I never did drugs That would mean I lie AND get fucked more than the President does Hillary Clinton tried to slap me and call me a pervert I ripped her fuckin tonsils out and fed her sherbet (Bitch!) My nerves hurt, and lately I’m on edge Grabbed Vanilla Ice and ripped out his blonde dreads (Fuck you!) Every girl I ever went out wit is goin lez Follow me and do exactly what the song says: smoke weed, take pills, drop outta school, kill people and drink And jump behind the wheel like it was still legal I’m dumb enough to walk in a store and steal So I’m dumb enough to ask for a date with Lauryn Hill Some people only see that I’m white, ignorin skill Cause I stand out like a green hat with a orange bill But I don’t get pissed, y’all don’t even see through the mist How the fuck can I be white, I don’t even exist I get a clean shave, bathe, go to a rave Die from an overdose and dig myself up out of my grave My middle finger won’t go down, how do I wave? And this is how I’m supposed to teach kids how to behave? Now follow me and do exactly what you see Don’t you wanna grow up to be just like me! I slap women and eat shrooms then O.D. Now don’t you wanna grow up to be just like me! Me and Marcus Allen went over to see Nicole When we heard a knock at the door, must have been Ron Gold’ Jumped behind the door, put the orgy on hold Killed em both and smeared blood in a white Bronco (we did it!) My mind won’t work if my spine don’t jerk I slapped Garth Brooks out of his Rhinestone shirt I’m not a player just a ill rhyme sayer That’ll spray an Aerosol can up at the ozone layer (psssssssh) My rap style’s warped, I’m runnin out the morgue witcha dead grandmother’s corpse to throw it on your porch Jumped in a Chickenhawk cartoon wit a cape on And beat up Fogho Legho with an aco I’m bout as normal as Norman Bates, with deformative traits A premature birth that was four minutes late Mother.. are you there? I love you I never meant to hit you over the head with that shovel Will someone explain to my brain that I just severed a main vein with a chainsaw and I’m in pain? I take a breather and sighed; either I’m high, or I’m nuts Cause if you ain’t tiltin this room, neither am I So when you see your mom with a thermometer shoved in her ass Then it probably is obvious I got it on with her Cause when I drop this solo shit it’s over with I bought Cage’s tape, opened it, and dubbed over it I came to the club drunk with a fake ID Don’t you wanna grow up to be just like me! I’ve been with 10 women who got HIV Now don’t you wanna grow up to be just like me! I got genital warts and it bu s when I pee Don’t you wanna grow up to be just like me! I tie a rope around my penis and jump from a tree You probably wanna grow up to be just like me!!! |
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| 5. |
| 3:35 |
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Meet Eddie. 23 years old. Fed up with life and
the way things are going, he decides to rob a liquor store. But on his way in, he has a sudden change of heart. And suddenly, his conscience comes into play... Dre: Alright, stop! (Huh?) Now before you walk in the door This liquor store and try to get money out the drawer You better think of the consequence...(Who are you?) I′m your motherfuckin′ conscience Em: That′s nonsense. Go in gather the money And run to one of your aunt′s cribs And borrow her damn dress and one of her blond wigs Tell her you need a place to stay You′ll be safe for days if you shave ya legs With Renee′s razor blades Dre: Yeah but if it all goes through like it′s supposed to The whole neighborhood knows you and they′ll expose you Think about it before you walk in the door first Look at the store clerk, she′s older than George Burns Em: Fuck dat! Do that shit! Shoot that Bitch! Can you afford to blow this shit? Are you that rich? Why you give a fuck if she dies? Are you that bitch? Do you really think she gives a fuck if you have kids? Dre: Man don′t do it. It′s not worth it to risk it! (You′re right!) Not over this shit (Stop!) Drop the biscuit (I will!) Don′t even listen to Slim yo, he′s bad for you Em: You know what Dre? I don′t like your attitude... (scratch) Meet Stan. 21 years old. After meeting a young girl at a rave party, things start getting hot and heavy in an upstairs bedroom. Once again, his conscience comes into play... Em: Now listen to me, while you′re kissin′ her cheek Smearin′ her lipstick, slip this in her drink Now all you gotta do is nibble on this little bitch′s earlobe... Dre: Yo! This girl′s only 15 years old You shouldn′t take advantage of her, that′s not fair Em: Yo, look at her bush...does it got hair? (Uh huh.) Fuck this bitch right here on the spot bare Til she passes out and she forgot how she got there.. Dre: Man, ain′t you ever seen that one movie KIDS? Em: No, but I seen a porno with Son Doobiest! Dre: Shit, you wanna get hauled off to jail? Em: Man, fuck that, hit that shit raw dog then bail... (scratch) Meet Grady. A 29 year old construction worker. After coming home from a hard day′s work, he walks in the door of his trailer park home to find his wife in bed with another man. Dre: Alright calm down, relax, start breathin... Em: Fuck that shit, you just caught this bitch cheatin′ While you at work she′s with some dude tryin′ to get off??! Fuck slittin′ her throat! CUT THIS BITCH′S HEAD OFF!! Dre: Wait, what if there′s an explanation for this shit? Em: What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick? Dre: Alright Shady. Maybe he′s right Grady. But think about the baby before you get all crazy. Em: Okay! Thought about it, still wanna stab her Grab her by the throat, get the daughter and kidnap her? That′s what I did, be smart, don′t be a retard You gonna take advice from somebody that slapped DEE BARNES??! Dre: What′chu say? Em: What′s wrong? Didn′t think I′d remember? Dre: I′m-a kill you motherfucker! Em: Ah-aahh! Temper temper! Mr. Dre? Mr. N.W.A.? Mr. AK comin′ straight outta Compton ya′ll better make way??! How in the fuck you gon′ tell this man not to be violent? Dre: Cuz he don′t need to go the same route that I went Been there done that...aw fuck it... What am I sayin′? Shoot ′em both Grady, where′s your gun at? (BANG! BANG!) |
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| 6. |
| 4:10 |
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Chorus: repeat 2X
Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?) My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?) My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady Ahem.. excuse me! Can I have the attention of the class for one second? Hi kids! Do you like violence? (Yeah yeah yeah!) Wanna see me stick Nine Inch Nails through each one of my eyelids? (Uh-huh!) Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!) Try 'cid and get fucked up worse that my life is? (Huh?) My brain's dead weight, I'm tryin to get my head straight but I can't figure out which Spice Girl I want to impregnate (Ummmm..) And Dr. Dre said, 'Slim Shady you a basehead!' Uh-uhhh! 'So why's your face red? Man you wasted!' Well since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else Cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt Got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lee's tits off And smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like Kris Kross I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass faster than a fat bitch who sat down too fast C'mere slut! (Shady, wait a minute, that's my girl dog!) I don't give a fuck, God sent me to piss the world off! Chorus My English teacher wanted to flunk me in junior high Thanks a lot, next semester I'll be thirty-five I smacked him in his face with an eraser, chased him with a stapler and stapled his nuts to a stack of papers (Owwwwwwww!) Walked in the strip club, had my jacket zipped up Flashed the bartender, then stuck my dick in the tip cup Extraterrestrial, runnin over pedestrians in a spaceship while they screamin at me: 'LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS!' Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to I just found out my mom does more dope than I do (Damn!) I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper Make a record about doin drugs and name it after her (Oh thank you!) You know you blew up when the women rush your stands and try to touch your hands like some screamin Usher fans (Aaahhhhhh!) This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph (Dude, can I get your autograph?) So I signed it: 'Dear Dave, thanks for the support, ASSHOLE!' Chorus [Eminem] Stop the tape! This kid needs to be locked away! (Get him!) Dr. Dre, don't just stand there, OPERATE! I'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die (Fuck that!) I'll have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive (Huh yup!) Am I comin or goin? I can barely decide I just drank a fifth of vodka -- dare me to drive? (Go ahead) All my life I was very deprived I ain't had a woman in years, and my palms are too hairy to hide (Whoops!) Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk (hachhh-too) I spit when I talk, I'll fuck anything that walks (C'mere) When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits HOW YOU GONNA BREAST FEED ME MOM? (WAH!) YOU AIN'T GOT NO TITS! (WAHHH!) I lay awake and strap myself in the bed Put a bulleproof vest on and shoot myself in the head (BANG!) I'm steamin mad (Arrrggghhh!) And by the way when you see my dad? (Yeah?) Tell him that I slit his throat, in this dream I had Chorus |
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| 7. |
| 4:11 |
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Whoah!
A get your hands in the air, and get to clappin 'em and like, back and forth because ah this is.. what you thought it wasn't It beez.. the brothers representin' the Dirty Dozen I be the F-R-O the double G And check out the man he goes by the name of er... Slim Shady, brain dead like Jim Brady I'm a M80, you Lil' like that Kim lady I'm buzzin, Dirty Dozen, naughty rotten rhymer Cursin at you players worse than Marty Schottenheimer You wacker than the motherfucker you bit your style from You ain't gonna sell two copies if you press a double album Admit it, fuck it, while we comin out in the open I'm doin acid, crack, smack, coke and smokin dope then My name is Marshall Mathers, I'm an alcoholic (Hi Marshall) I have a disease and they don't know what to call it Better hide your wallet cause I'm comin up quick to strip your cash Bought a ticket to your concert just to come and whip your ass Bitch, I'm comin out swingin, so fast it'll make your eyes spin You gettin knocked the fuck out like Mike Tyson The proof is in the puddin, just ask the Shawn Holman I'll slit your motherfuckin throat worse than Ron Goldman So when you see me on your block with two glocks Screamin _Fuck the World_ like Tupac I just don't give a fuuuuuck!! Talkin that shit behind my back, dirty mackin tellin your boys that I'm on crack I just don't give a fuuuuuck!! So put my tape back on the rack Go run and tell your friends my shit is wack I just don't give a fuuuuuck!! But see me on the street and duck Cause you gon' get stuck, stoned, and snuffed Cause I just don't give a fuuuuuck!! I'm Nicer than Pete, but I'm on a Serch to crush a Miilkbone I'm Everlast-ing, I melt Vanilla Ice like silicone I'm ill enough to just straight up diss you for no reason I'm colder than snow season when it's twenty below freezin Flavor with no seasonin, this is the sneak preview I'll diss your magazine and still won't get a weak review I'll make your freak leave you, smell the Folgers crystals This is a lyrical combat, gentlemen hold your pistols But I form like Voltron and blast you with my shoulder missiles Slim Shady, Eminem was the old initials (Bye-bye!) Extortion, snortin, supportin abortion Pathological liar, blowin shit out of proportion The looniest, zaniest, spontaneous, sporadic Impulsive thinker, compulsive drinker, addict Half animal, half man Dumpin your dead body inside of a fuckin trash can With more holes than an Afghan Somebody let me out this limousine (hey, let me out!) I'm a caged demon, on stage screamin like Rage Against the Machine I'm convinced I'm a fiend, shootin up while this record is spinnin Clinically brain dead, I don't need a second opinion Fuck droppin the jaw, I'm flippin the sacred treasure I'll bite your motherfuckin style, just to make it fresher I can't take the pressure, I'm sick of bitches Sick of naggin bosses bitchin while I'm washin dishes In school I never said much, too busy havin a headrush Doin too much rush had my face flushed like red blush Then I went to Jim Beam, that's when my face grayed Went to gym in eighth grade, raped the women's swim team Don't take me for a joke I'm no comedian Too many mental problems got me snortin coke and smokin weed again I'm goin up over the curb, drivin on the median Finally made it home, but I don't got the key to get in Hey, fuck that! Outsidaz.. Pace One.. Young Zee.. |
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