It was the biggest ever cock you'd ever seen, but you've no idea where that cock has been. You said you were careful - you never were with me. I heard you did it four times and jonnies come in packs of three.
She was the best shag I'd ever had. That doesn't mean I'm saying, bedwise, you were bad. I think you were working, we got a hotel. We didn't have anything but I thought I might as well.
I never told the rest. I was drunk and I told you I was thinking about a test. You know I just said it for effect. Then you laughed and said I'd f**k anything in a skirt once I'm erect.
And she's a famous harlot in this town. I know enough to, but still I couldn't turn her down. He said I'm an arsehole, what was I thinking? It's far too easy to blame it on the drinking.
You just have to be sure you're doing the right thing. I mean it's very easy to forget - she's just sitting there in the pub with her new friends and her new life and her new hair, and it's been five years but you'd know just to look at her.
I wasn't even sure it were her at first; I was ready to walk away but she smiled and called me over and we said hello for a bit. When we back to our tables we were trying not to look over at each other and told our friends to stop staring. I didn't see her for the rest of the night, but by closing time the beers kicked in so I go up and speak to her and we end up talking about our new homes, our new jobs and our new birds.
She says she's been going out with him now for about two and a half years, but they don't live together so he'd never find out. And you think about chasing her about school when you were wee and lying in your bed and listening to love songs and pretending they were about you. and the first time you asked her out she said no but one night you went to a wedding and when you came back to the pub she's changed her mind and you went out. You remember the way she swung her arms when she held your hand but you can't remember how she kissed and now you've got the chance to find out.
But you have to remember there's this other kiss. She's at home, wondering where you are and what you're doing. And you work hard on this kiss and you know it inside out; it's as much yours as it is hers, and it took a long time to get right, it took months of practice and months of embarassment but now you've got it perfected and you've been looking forward to that kiss all week.
You can see her breath in the air between your faces as you stand in the leaves and she just asks you straight out if you want to come and stay at her flat. But you make sure you get separate taxis and you go home and there might be a slight regret and you might wonder what you missed, but you have to remember the kiss you worked so hard on. And you'll know you've done the right thing.
Bored at home, nothing to do but eat. I'll give you a phone and you can come along the street. You/I'll bring the junk food, I'll/you (can) hire the tape. We can sit and poke fun at each other's shape. Water pistols at dawn. We were soaked to bits. Then you/I tried to bite me/you. So I/you hand-held hovered your/my tits. Toy fights on the floor. Both drunk and drugged. Out of breath when we stopped. Then we sat on the stairs and hugged.
How am I supposed to walk you home when you're at least fifty feet ahead? Cause you walked off in a huff and I'm that pissed I can't even remember what it was I said.
And I don't doubt you wouldn't touch him now, but let's face it, you always use to go for that kind. And if you ever really wanted two men at once, all I'm saying is I better be one of the guys you've got in mind.
Here we go same time, same place. I don't like the way you kiss his face. It's not that there's no trust as such.
I'd love to make up but I've had to much.
Now you know fine well I'm staying, I've only ever carried out that threat once before. And even then I coudn't get far and you're mum came and called me back before I'd even made it to the door.
Here we go same time, same place. My embarassment versus your damp face. We could down here or we could talk in bed. But I'm afraid that's all, as I've already said.
Phone me tonight when you're pissed. Just to tell me that I'm missed. Tell me you want me in your cunt. Tell me you're not sure what you want. I tried to tell you, I thought I made it clear. Nothing could make me not want you here. Phone me tomorrow when you're sober. Just to remind me that it's over. And that I'm not needed now in your bed. And of all the things that I apparently never said. I tried to tell you, I tried to say. I never wanted us to end that way.
We're sitting fruity alchopops with pink glasses with ice and watching the girls of summer With there bare legs and trains and there white strap link through yesterdays top beneath today's cologne Across there peeling shoulders on there way to the bar
Later I put my tape in the bath in attempt to shave, well almost cut and ending up slashing my cheek and nickin' my lip And spraying on some poof juice and go to the park with my economy cider
I don't think I'll need a jacket
It'll be bright when the carry outs are finished And we head to the pub to get everyone else
Leaving our empties kicked behind a bush We'll get 'em in there and casually saunter into the bogs and swallow And get taxi's down to a club The micelet and magpie through the window on the way In the hope they'll get a shag
But I'll wake up clamouring a girl I know fully clothed on someone's couch I've barely slept for two hours All sweaty and thoughtful and needing a fix And then you'll wake up And the first thing we'll do is to make plans to get pissed So we'll sit in a pub and watch the girls of summer.
You'd already been half an hour with pre-clubbing shower and I'd always planned to have a look in your special winnie the pooh book. the place was marked and it was there in blue and white - it said simply, "paul stayed last night" Next I was on the bog and you got down on one knee. You were protesting your innocence and you started to cry as I started to pee.
You said, "I didn't shag him, he slept on the couch in the kitchen. He might as well be a girl. He's a good for a laugh and he's good for bitchin"
You said you'd never be willing or able. And he looks like he was made on a fucking table. Although, to be fair, I think he hides the bolts quite well, but as soon as he opens his mouth you can just tell. I had just assumed you'd completely gone off shagging and I can you seen you with your new uni pals, standing bragging. now he's your boyfriend and I know you were talking shite but you still deny it when I met you at someone's birthday party the other night.
You said, "I didn't shag him, he slept on the couch in the kitchen. It's just like one of the girls. We have a good laugh when we're sitting bitchin'"
The words that you used to think turned me on just made me laugh - "do you want to suck my cunt?" in real life just sounds naff. And when we were with your friends I just as well might of been no one. And you can't get over your dead dog - well it takes one to know one.
I wish it was someone elses blood on the jonnie. It's in my mouth and under my nails. I wish I'd woken up in someone elses bed. Wish I was the wind in someone elses sails.
I've no-one in particular in mind right now. It was inevitable we'd end up in the sack. I should have known you'd want to try again. But I'm looking forward now I'm not stepping back.
My last lover's playing with a new man now. It's only three weeks we've been apart. They sat together and he sent her flowers. Well he can f**king keep that fickle disco tart.
'cause I've had it up to here with little girls. She looked ugly today day, smoking her fag. Just like a schoolgirl trying to look grown-up. Now I'm looking for a woman but I'll settle for a shag.
The bed's a mess when we're finished and at rest, and I can just see the post-fuck flush across your chest. The telly's silent, the room's lit only by the screen, and now we're perfect moulds with just our pulses in between.
Well I'm not listening to what my mother said - what we're doing inside my bed. And I'm not pretending this time you're someone else, but I'm cleaning these sheets all by myself.
Afterwards is best. You get up to get dressed - I think your pants are by the door. I think tomorrow we might be sore.
Even in this light, your tits look white against the tanning, and I know we're a couple now 'cause we went down the family planning. It hit me in the waiting room waiting for you when you were getting what you need. But I can't help be a bit disappointed when you start to bleed.
Afterwards is best. You get up to get dressed - I think your pants are by the door. I think tomorrow we might be sore.