Eminem - The Real Slim Shady [single] (2000) by Eminem (보컬) on maniadb.com

[Eminem]
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here..

Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
and started whoopin her ass worse than before
they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem {*vocal turntable:
chigga chigga chigga*} "Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin around grabbin his you-know-what
Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
who cut other people open like cantaloupes {*SLURP*}
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
{*EWWW!*} But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes

Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)

I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up?

[Eminem]
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
I should download her audio on MP3
and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD {*AHHH!*}
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
so I have been sent here to destroy you {*bzzzt*}
And there's a million of us just like me
who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

Chorus

[Eminem]
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
and whether you like to admit it {*ERR*} I just shit it
better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens
And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
{*HACH*} Or in the parkin lot, circling
Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
with his windows down and his system up
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

Chorus 2X

[Eminem]
Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up

(Chorus One)
{Just pull the plug!}
People say that I'm a bad influence
I say the world's already fucked, I'm just addin to it
They say I'm suicidal, teenagers' newest idol {c'mon!}
C'mon do as I do, go ahead get mad and do it
{Just pull the plug!}
People say that I'm a bad influence
I say the world's already fucked, I'm just addin to it
They say I'm suicidal, teenagers' newest idol {c'mon!}
C'mon do as I do, go ahead get mad and do it
{Just let it goooooo!}

(Eminem)
Hand me an ,8, beam me up and land me in space
I'ma sit on top of the world {I'm here} and shit on Brandy and Mase
I'm more than ill
I'm scarier than a white journalist in a room with Lauryn Hill {Ahh!}
Human horror film
but with a lot funnier plot, and people that feel me
cause I'ma still be Madd Rapper, whether I got money or not {yup}
As long as I'm on pills, and I got plenty of pot
I'll be in a canoe paddlin, makin fun of your yacht
But I would like an award
for the best rapper to get one mic in The Source
and a wardrobe I can afford
Otherwise I might get sent up back-strike in a Ford
And you wonder what the fuck I need more Vicadin for
Everybody's pissin' me off; even the No Limit Tank
looks like a middle finger sideways flippin me off
No shit I'm a great danger to my health
Why else would I kill you then jump in the grave and bury myself?

(Chorus Two)
{Just pull the plug!}
People say that I'm a bad influence
I say the world's already fucked, I'm just addin to it
They say I'm suicidal, teenagers' newest idol {c'mon!}
C'mon do as I do, go ahead get mad and do it
{Just let it gooo!}
People say that I'm a bad influence
I say the world's already fucked, I'm just addin to it
They say I'm suicidal, teenagers' newest idol {c'mon!}
C'mon do as I do, go ahead get mad and do it
{Just do it!}

(Eminem)
I'm the illest rapper to hold the cordless, patrollin corners
Looking for hookers to punch in the mouth with a roll of quarters
I'm meaner in action than Roscoe beatin James Todd Sr.
across the back with vacuum cleaner attachments {Ow! Ow! Ow!}
I grew up in a wild hood, as a hazardous youth
with a fucked up childhood, that I used as an excuse
And ain't shit changed, I kept the same mindstate
since the third time that I failed 9th grade
You probably think that I'm a negative person, don't be so sure of it
I don't promote violence, I just encourage it {c'mon}
I laugh at the sight of death
as I fall down a cement flight of steps {ahhhhhhhh!}
and land inside a bed of spider webs
So throw caution to the wind; you and a friend
can jump off of a bridge and if you live, do it again
Shit, why not, blow your brain out, I'm blowin mine out
Fuck it, you only live once, you might as well die now!

(Chorus Three)
{Just let it gooo!}
People say that I'm a bad influence
I say the world's already fucked, I'm just addin to it
They say I'm suicidal, teenagers' newest idol {c'mon!}
C'mon do as I do, go ahead get mad and do it
{Just pull the plug!}
People say that I'm a bad influence
I say the world's already fucked, I'm just addin to it
They say I'm suicidal, teenagers' newest idol {c'mon!}
C'mon do as I do, go ahead get mad and do it
{Just do it!}

(Eminem)
My laser disc gon' make you take a razor to your wrist
Make you satanistic, make you take the pistol to your face
and place the clip and cock it back
and let it go until your brains are rippin out
your skull so bad to sew you back would be a waste of stitches
I'm not a "Role Model," I don't wanna babysit kids
I got one little girl, and Hailie Jade is Shady's business
And Shady's just an alias I made to make you pissed off
Where the fuck were you when Gil was paid to make me dishwash?
I make a couple statements and now look how crazy shit got
You made me get a bigger attitude than eighty Kim Scott's
And she almost got the same fate that Grady's bitch got
I knew that "Just the Two of Us" would make you hate me this much
And "Just the Two of Us," that ain't got shit to do with us
and our personal life, it's just words on a mic
So you can call me a punk, a pervert or a chauvinist pig
But the funny shit is that I still go with the bitch!

(Chorus Two)

Chorus: repeat 2X {Eminem singing}

I never meant to give you mushrooms girl
I never meant to bring you to my world
Now you sitting in the corner crying
And now it's my fault my fault

[Eminem]
I went to John's rave with Ron and Dave
And met a new wave blonde babe with half of her head shaved
A nurse aid who came to get laid and tied up
with first aid tape and raped on the first date
Susan -- an ex-heroin addict who just stopped usin
who love booze and alternative music (Whattup?)
Told me she was goin back into usin again (Nah!)
I said, 'Wait, first try this hallucinogen
It's better than heroin, Henn, the booze or the gin
C'mere, let's go in here' *knocks on the door*
'Who's in the den?'
[R] 'It's me and Kelly!'
'My bad, (sorry) let's try another room'
[G] I don't trust you!
'Shut up slut! Chew up this mushroom
This'll help you get in touch with your roots
We'll get barefoot, buttnaked, and run in the woods
[G] Oh hell, I might as well try

em, this party is so drab
'Oh dag!!'
[G] What?
'I ain't mean for you to eat the whole bag!'
[G] Huh?!

Chorus: 1st repeat Em says 'I'm sorry!' at the end
2nd repeat same as original Chorus

'Yo Sue!'
[G] Get away from me, I don't know you
Oh shoot, she's tripping..
[G] I need to go puke!! (Bleahh!)
I wasn't tryin to turn this into somethin major
I just wanted to make you appreciate nature
Susan, stop cryin, I don't hate ya
The world's not against you, I'm sorry your father raped you
So what you had your little coochie in your dad's mouth?
That ain't no reason to start wiggin and spaz out
She said,
[G] Help me I think I'm havin a seisure!
I said, 'I'm high too bitch, quit grabbin my t-shirt' (Let go!)
'Would you calm down you're startin to scare me'
She said,
[G] I'm twenty-six years old and I'm not married
I don't even have any kids and I can't cook
(Hello!) I'm over here Sue, (hi) you're talkin to the plant, look!
We need to get to a hospi

tal 'fore it's too late
Cause I never seen no-one eat as many shrooms as you ate

Chorus: 1st repeat Em says 'Whoops!' after first line
and 'It was an accident!' at the end
2nd repeat same as original Chorus

Susan (wait!) Where you goin? You better be careful
[G] Leave me alone dad, I'm sick of gettin my hair pulled
I'm not your dad, quit tryin to swallow your tongue
Want some gum? Put down the scissors, 'fore you do somethin dumb
I'll be right back just chill baby please?
I gotta go find Dave he's the one who gave me these
'John, where's Dave at before I bash you?'
[J] He's in the bathroom; I think he's takin a crap dude!
'Dave! Pull up your pants, we need an ambulance
There's a girl upstairs talkin to plants
choppin her hair off, and there's only two days left
of Spring Break, how long do these things take to wear off?'
[D] Well it depends on how may you had
'I took three, she ate the other twenty-two caps
Now she's upstairs cryin out her eyeballs, drinkin Lysol'
[D] She's gonna die dude


'I know and it's my fault!'
[D] My god!!!

Chorus: 1st repeat Em says 'I'm sorry!' after second line
and 'What do I do?' at the end
2nd repeat same as original Chorus

My God, I'm so sorry!
I'm so sorry! Susan please wake up!
Please! Please wake up!! What are you doing?!
You're not dead!! You're NOT dead!
I know you're not dead! Oh my God!
Susan wake up! Oh God...

Whoah!
A get your hands in the air, and get to clappin 'em
and like, back and forth because ah
this is.. what you thought it wasn't
It beez.. the brothers representin' the Dirty Dozen
I be the F-R-O the double G
And check out the man he goes by the name of er...

Slim Shady, brain dead like Jim Brady
I'm a M80, you Lil' like that Kim lady
I'm buzzin, Dirty Dozen,
naughty rotten rhymer
Cursin at you players worse than Marty Schottenheimer
You wacker than the motherfucker
you bit your style from
You ain't gonna sell two copies
if you press a double album
Admit it, fuck it, while we comin out in the open
I'm doin acid, crack, smack,
coke and smokin dope then
My name is Marshall Mathers,
I'm an alcoholic (Hi Marshall)
I have a disease
and they don't know what to call it
Better hide your wallet
cause I'm comin up quick to strip your cash
Bought a ticket to your concert
just to come and whip your ass
Bitch, I'm comin out swingin,
so fast it'll make your eyes spin
You gettin knocked the fuck out like Mike Tyson
The proof is in the puddin,
just ask the Shawn Holman
I'll slit your motherfuckin
throat worse than Ron Goldman

So when you see me on your block with two glocks
Screamin _Fuck the World_ like Tupac
I just don't give a fuuuuuck!!
Talkin that shit behind my back, dirty mackin
tellin your boys that I'm on crack
I just don't give a fuuuuuck!!
So put my tape back on the rack
Go run and tell your friends my shit is wack
I just don't give a fuuuuuck!!
But see me on the street and duck
Cause you gon' get stuck, stoned, and snuffed
Cause I just don't give a fuuuuuck!!

I'm Nicer than Pete,
but I'm on a Serch to crush a Miilkbone
I'm Everlast-ing, I melt Vanilla Ice like silicone
I'm ill enough to just straight up
diss you for no reason
I'm colder than snow season
when it's twenty below freezin
Flavor with no seasonin,
this is the sneak preview
I'll diss your magazine
and still won't get a weak review
I'll make your freak leave you,
smell the Folgers crystals
This is a lyrical combat,
gentlemen hold your pistols
But I form like Voltron
and blast you with my shoulder missiles
Slim Shady, Eminem was the old initials (Bye-bye!)
Extortion, snortin, supportin abortion
Pathological liar, blowin shit out of proportion
The looniest, zaniest, spontaneous, sporadic
Impulsive thinker, compulsive drinker, addict
Half animal, half man
Dumpin your dead body inside of a fuckin trash can
With more holes than an Afghan

Somebody let me out this limousine
(hey, let me out!)
I'm a caged demon,
on stage screamin like Rage Against the Machine
I'm convinced I'm a fiend,
shootin up while this record is spinnin
Clinically brain dead,
I don't need a second opinion
Fuck droppin the jaw,
I'm flippin the sacred treasure
I'll bite your motherfuckin style,
just to make it fresher
I can't take the pressure,
I'm sick of bitches
Sick of naggin bosses bitchin while
I'm washin dishes
In school I never said much,
too busy havin a headrush
Doin too much rush had
my face flushed like red blush
Then I went to Jim Beam,
that's when my face grayed
Went to gym in eighth grade,
raped the women's swim team
Don't take me for a joke
I'm no comedian
Too many mental problems got me snortin coke
and smokin weed again
I'm goin up over the curb,
drivin on the median
Finally made it home,
but I don't got the key to get in

Hey, fuck that!
Outsidaz..
Pace One..
Young Zee..