Ani Difranco - So Much Shouting/ So Much Laughter (2006) by Ani Difranco (보컬) on maniadb.com

cradling the softest, warmest part of you in my hand
feels like a little baby bird fallen from the nest
i think that your body is something i understand
i think that i'm happy, i think that i'm blessed

i've got a lack of inhibition
i've got a loss of perspective
i've had a little bit to drink
and it's making me think
that i can jump ship and swim
that the ocean will hold me
that there's got to be more
than this boat i'm in

'cuz they can call me crazy if i fail
all the chance that i need
is one-in-a-million
and they can call me brilliant
if i succeed
gravity is nothing to me, moving at the speed of sound
i'm just going to get my feet wet
until i drown

and i teeter between tired
and really, really tired
im wiped and im wired but i guess its just as well
because i built my own empire
out of car tires and chicken wire
and i'm queen of my own compost heap
and i'm getting used to the smell

and i've got a lack of information
but i got a little revelation
and i'm climbing up on the railing
trying not to look down
i'm going to do my best swan dive
in the shark-infested waters
i'm gonna pull out my tampon
and start splashing around

'cuz i don't care if they eat me alive
i've got better things to do than survive
i've got a memory of your warm skin in my hand
and i've got a vision of blue sky and dry land

i'm cradling the hardest, heaviest part of me in my hand
the ship is pitching and heaving, my limbs are bobbing and weaving
and i think this is what i understand
i just need a couple vaccinations for my far-away vacation
i'm going to go ahead boldly because a little bird told me
that jumping is easy, that falling is fun
right up 'til you hit the sidewalk, shivering, stunned

and they can call me crazy if i fail
all the chance that i need
is one-in-a-million
and they can call me brilliant
if i succeed
gravity is nothing to me
moving at the speed of sound
i'm just gonna get my feet wet
until i drown...

the sky is grey
the sand is grey
and the ocean is grey

and i feel right at home
in this stunning monochrome
alone in my way

i smoke and i drink
and every time i blink
i have a tiny dream

but as bad as i am
i'm proud of the fact
that i'm worse than i seem

what kind of paradise am i looking for?
i've got everything i want and still i want more
maybe some tiny shiny key
will wash up on the shore

you walk through my walls
like a ghost on tv
you penetrate me

and my little pink heart
is on its little brown raft
floating out to sea

and what can i say
but i'm wired this way
and you're wired to me

and what can i do
but wallow in you
unintentionally
what kind of paradise am i looking for?
i've got everything i want and still i want more
maybe some tiny shiny key
will wash up on the shore

regretfully
i guess i've only got three
simple things to say:
why me?
why this now?
why this way?
with overtones ringing
and undertows pulling away
under a sky that is grey
on sand that is grey
by an ocean that's grey

what kind of paradise am i looking for?
i've got everything i want
and still i want more
maybe some tiny shiny key
will wash up on the shore

Fourteenth street and the garbage swirls like a cyclone
Three o'clock in the afternoon and I am going home
F train is full of high school students
So much shouting
So much laughter
Last night's underwear in my back pocket
Sure sign of the morning after

Take me home
Take me home and leave me there
Think I'm going to cry, I don't know why
Think I'm going to sing myself a lullaby
Feel free to listen
Feel free to stare

I live in New York New York the city that never shuts up
In the daylight everything is so gory
You can hear snatches of stranger's sorry stories
And I moved there from Buffalo but that's nothing
The TRICO plant moved to Mexico
Left my uncle standing out in the cold
Said there's your last paycheck have fun growing old

Take me home
Take me home and leave me there
Think I'm going to cry, I don't know why
Think I'm going to sing myself a lullaby
Feel free to listen
Feel free to stare
Rockabye baby
In the treetop
When the wind blows
Cradle will rock
When the bough breaks
The cradle will fall
Down will come baby
Cradle and all

Youth is beauty
Money is beauty
Hell, beauty is beauty sometimes
It's the luck of the draw
It's the natural law
It's a joke
It's a crime
I was bored
You were bored
It was a meeting of the minds
Now it's three in the afternoon and I can't leave too soon
Saying thank you, I had a nice time

Take me home
Take me home and leave me there
Think I'm going to cry, I don't know why
Think I'm going to sing myself a lullaby
Feel free to listen
Feel free to stare

Maybe I'll live my whole life
Just getting by
Maybe I'll be discovered
Maybe I'll be colonized
You could try to train me like a pet
You could try to teach me to behave
But I'll tell you, if I haven't learned it yet
You know,
I ain't gonna sit, I ain't gonna stay

Take me home
Take me home and leave me there
Think I'm going to cry, I don't know why
Think I'm going to sing myself a lullaby
Feel free to listen
Feel free to stare

What what what what what did you think you were doing?
How how how how how did you think this would go?
When when when when when you showed up on my radar
Where where where where where did you think you would show?
What what what what what do you make of this station
How how how how how it pulls away from the train?
When when when when when if at all will you realize
Where where where where where do and done are the same?
What what what what what now you're out in the open
How how how how how do you think you can hide?


When when when when when will you find some nice soft sand
Where where where where where you can bury your pride?
What what what what what do you want from this lifetime?
How how how how how does your story line flow?
When when when when when you finally get to the punch line
Where where where where where will the applause sign go?

And why why why why why don't you just take your bow
'cause who's gonna love you now?

the sun is setting on the century
and we armed to the teeth
we're all working together now
to make our lives mercifully brief
schoolkids keep trying to teach us
what guns are all about
confuse liberty with weaponry
and watch your kids act it out
every year now like christmas
some boy gets the milkfed suburban blues
reaches for the available arsenal
and saunters off to make the news
and the women in the middle
arelearning what poor women have always known
that the edge is closer than you think
whe your men bring the guns home

look at where the profits are
that's how you'll find the source
of the big lie that you and i
both know so well
in the time it take this cultural
death wish to run its course
they're gonna make a pretty penny
and then they're all going to hell
he said the chickens all come home to roost
yeah malcolm forecasted this flood
are we really gonna sleep through another century
while the rich profit off our blood?
true it may take some doing
to see this undoing through
but in my humble opinion
here's what i suggest we do

open fire on hollywood
open fire on MTV
open fire on NBC
and CBS and ABC
open fire on the NRA
and all the lies they told us
along the way
open fire on each weapons manufacturer
while he's giving head
to some republican senator

and if i hear one more time
about a fool's right
to his tools of rage
i'm gonna take all my friends
and i'm gonna move to canada
and we're gonna die of old age

you were so in love
that it was all you could talk about
and i think i felt a little left out
you were on cloud 9 all the time
while i was levelling
i was wringing my hands and you were revelling

but then why shouldn't you?
it was such a beautiful thing to do

would that i could get me some
of your yum yum delirium
i could level off the ground that we stand on
but with you down on bended knee
always looking up at me
that feeling of standing up together is gone

and though i love you through all time and space
my love always seems to take second place

you were so in love
that it was all you could talk about
and i think i felt a little left out
you were on cloud 9 all the time
while i was levelling
i was wringing my hands and you were revelling

but then why shouldn't you?
it was such a beautiful thing to do

they told you your music
could reach millions
that the choice was up to you
you told me they always
pay for lunch
and they believe in what i do
and i wonder
will you miss your old friends
once you've proven what you're worth
yeah i wonder
when you're a big star
will you miss the earth

and i know you would always want more
i know you would never be done
'cuz everyone is a fucking napoleon
yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon

and the next time
that i saw you
you were larger than life
you came and you conquered
you were doing alright
you had an army
of suits behind you
and all you had to be was willing
and i said i still
make a pretty good living
but you must make a killing
a killing

and i hope that you are happy
i hope at least you are having fun
'cuz but everyone is a fucking napoleon
yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon

now you think, so that is
the way it's gonna be
that's what this is all about
i think that that is
the way it always was
you chose not to notice until now
yeah now that there's a problem
you call me up to confide
and you go on for over an hour
'bout each one that took you for a ride

and i guess that you dialed my number
'cuz you thought for sure that i'd agree
i said baby, you know i still love you
but how dare you complain to me

everyone is a fucking napoleon
yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon

what's with that halo
hovering
above that thick skull
spare me
if i do say so
i think you're covering
course there was nothing
could have prepared me
for the side effect
of this dirty drug
the way you punish me
and then you shrug

what's with that phone call baby
it's like you're trying
just trying to crush me
do you feel stronger
each time you push me dear
did you tell your mom
you carpet bombed
before you left here
and is it just the side effect
of this dirty drug
or does each apology sound
more like a shrug

are you at home now
with your kitty cats
are you just at home now
with the way that you act
do you split the rent there
with all your secrets
or do you just pretend
to all your friends
they're uninvited guests

yes and

when you want it tidy, tell me,
can you still dispell me,
sweep me
neatly under the rug
and does your conscience ever mention
the way that you treat me
or do you just fend it off
with a.....

Welcome to:
No amount of stoned makes you feel ok
Welcome to:
This year's alone - brought to you by christmas day
Welcome to:
The darkness into which prayin people pray

It's quiet here except for this song
Now that everybody's gone
But hey
Least you don't have to play along today

Welcome to:
Something like elation when you first open your eyes
Just 'cause it means
That you musta finally got to sleep last night
Welcome to:
The precipice between groundlessness and flight

It's quiet here except for this song
Now that everybody's gone
But hey
Least you don't have to play along today

Besides which
Welcome to:
Taking the good stuff down off of the shelf
And welcome to:
The art of conversation with yourself
Welcome to:
Humming an unbroken tune
All day long
Yes it's quiet here
But hey
Least you don't have to play along today

i love you
and you love me
and ain't that the way
it's supposed to be?

i swing my stick legs 'round at the root
and pile drive each foot into a platform boot
and i'm up and i'm out
cuz i'm bouncing off the walls
and i come when i'm called
and you called

i got a super-cute three-piece suit
one piece for your body
one piece for your smile
one more little piece
if you stay a while

i gotta beeline double time
leave my home sweet home for your honeycomb
then i show up steady, ready and proud
and i find i've forgotten how to talk out loud

isn't it just like you
to bring me to my knees
in my brand new stockings
while the cat is out with my tongue
isn't it just like you
to bring me to my knees
in my brand new stockings
love makes me feel so dumb

life used to be life-like
now it's more like show biz
i wake up in the night
and i don't know where the bathroom is
and i don't know what town i'm in
or what sky i am under
and i wake up in the darkness and i
don't have the will anymore to wonder
everyone has a skeleton
and a closet to keep it in
and you're mine
every song has a you
a you that the singer sings to
and you're it this time
baby, you're it this time

when i need to wipe my face
i use the back of my hand
and i like to take up space
just because i can
and i use my dress
to wipe up my drink
i care less and less
what people think
and you are so lame
you always disappoint me
it's kinda like our running joke
but it's really not funny
i just want you to live up to
the image of you i create
i see you and i'm so unsatisfied
i see you and i dilate

so i'll walk the plank and i'll jump with a smile
if i'm gonna go down
i'm gonna do it with style
and you won't see me surrender
you won't hear me confess
'cuz you've left me with nothing
but i've worked with less
and i learn every room long enough
to make it to the door
and then i hear it click shut behind me
and every key works differently
i forget every time
and the forgetting defines me
that's what defines me

when i say you sucked my brain out
the english translation
is i am in love with you
and it is no fun
but i don't use words like love
'cuz words like that don't matter
but don't look so offended
you know, you should be flattered
i wake up in the night
in some big hotel bed
my hands grope for the light
my hands grope for my head
the world is my oyster
the road is my home
and i know that i'm better
off alone

thank you
for letting me stay here
thank you for taking me in
thank you
for the beer and the food
thank you
for loaning me bus fare
thank you for showing me around
that was a very kind thing to do
thank you
for the use of the clean towel
thank you for half of your bed
we can sleep here like brother and sister,
you said

but you changed the rules
in an hour or two
and i don't know what you
and your sisters do
but please don't
please stop
this is not my obligation
what does my body have to do
with my gratitude?

look at you
little white lying
for the purpose of justifying
what you're trying to do
i know that you feel my resistance
i know that you heard what i said
otherwise you wouldn't need the excuse

thank you
for letting me stay here
thank you for taking me in
i don't know where else
i would have gone
but i don't come and go
like a pop song
that you can play incessantly
and then forget when it's gone
you can't write me off
and you don't turn me on

so don't change the rules
in an hour or two
i don't know what you and your
sisters do
but please don't
please stop
this is not my obligation
what does my body have to do
with my gratitude?

it's rock paper scissors as to whether
i will get over you at all
it's hand against hand and both hands are mine
it's standing in a circular line
which is not to say that i'm not also happy
a happy meal with a surprise inside
surprise surprise here's another bright light in your eyes
exposing all the stuff you're not calculating enough to hide

this melancholy that i carry makes me feel so grown up
at my kitchen table doing shots of resignation
i never thought i'd see the day when i would say i give up
and break the stallions of my wildest expectations

i do not want to know you this way
surrounded by so much pain
but how am i supposed to let go of you this way
like a bird into the sky of my brain?

i think i could accept all these dark colors
as just part of some bigger color scheme
if it wasn't for that drippy string quartet of sadness
underscoring each smiling scene
desire drags me right out of myself
a gas-soaked rope tied to a piece of coal
and i'm getting pretty good at looking at the bright side
while the flames rip along the sand and swallow me whole

Squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am 32 flavors and then some
And I'm beyond your peripheral vision
So you might want to turn your head
'Cause someday you are gonna get hungry
And eat most of the words you just said

Both my parents taught me about goodwill
And I have done well by their names
Just the kindness I've lavished on strangers
Is more than I can explain
Still there's many who've turned out their porch lights
Just so I would think they were not home
And hid in the dark of their windows
Till I'd passed and left them alone
Hey, yo, hey
Oh, hey, yo, hey, yo
Oh, hey, yo, hey
Oh, hey, yo, hey, yo

God help you if you are an ugly girl
Course, too pretty is also your doom
'Cause everyone harbors a secret hatred
For the prettiest girl in the room
And God help you if you are a phoenix
And you dare to rise up from the ash
A thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy
While you are just flying past

And I'll never try to give my life meaning
By demeaning you
But I would like to state for the record
I did everything that I could do
I'm not saying that I am a saint
I just don't want to live that way
No, I will never be a saint
But I will always say

Squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am 32 flavors and then some
And I'm beyond your peripheral vision
So you might want to turn your head
'Cause someday you might find you are starving
And eating all of the words that you said
Oh, oh, hey, yo
Oh, hey, yo
Oh, hey, yo, hey, yo
Oh, hey, yo

Mm, mm, mm, mm
Mm, mm, mm, mm

Oh, hey, yo
Oh, hey, yo
Oh, hey, yo, hey, yo
Oh, hey, yo

I am not a pretty girl
That is not what I do
I ain't no damsel in distress
And I don't need to be rescued
So put me down, punk
Wouldn't you prefer a maiden fair?
Isn't there a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere?

I am not an angry girl
But it seems like I've got everyone fooled
Every time I say something they find hard to hear
They chalk it up to my anger
And never to their own fear
Imagine you're a girl
Just trying to finally come clean
Knowing full well they'd prefer you were dirty
And smiling

And I am sorry
But I am not a maiden fair
And I am not a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere

And generally, my generation
Wouldn't be caught dead working for the man
And generally I agree with them
Trouble is you gotta have youself
An alternate plan
And I have earned my disillusionment
I have been working all of my life
And I am a patriot
I have been fighting the good fight
And what if there are no damsels in distress
What if I knew that and I called your bluff?
Don't you think every kitten figures out how to get down,
Whether or not you ever show up?

I am not a pretty girl
I don't really want to be a pretty girl
No, I want to be more than a pretty girl.

Yes,
Us people are just poems
We're 90% metaphor
With a leanness of meaning
Approaching hyper-distillation
And once upon a time
We were moonshine
Rushing down the throat of a giraffe
Yes, rushing down the long hallway
Despite what the p.a. announcement says
Yes, rushing down the long hall
Down the long stairs
In a building so tall
That it will always be there
Yes, it's part of a pair
There on the bow of Noah's ark
The most prestigious couple
Just kickin back parked
Against a perfectly blue sky
On a morning beatific
In its Indian summer breeze
On the day that America
Fell to its knees
After strutting around for a century
Without saying thank you
Or please

And the shock was subsonic
And the smoke was deafening
Between the setup and the punch line
'Cause we were all on time for work that day
We all boarded that plane for to fly
And then while the fires were raging
We all climbed up on the window sill
And then we all held hands
And jumped into the sky

And every borough looked up when it heard the first blast
And then every dumb action movie was summarily surpassed
And the exodus uptown by foot and motorcar
Looked more like war than anything I've seen so far
So far
So far
So fierce and ingenious
A poetic specter so far gone
That every jackass newscaster was struck dumb and stumbling
Over 'Oh my God' and Tthis is unbelievable' and on and on
And I'll tell you what, while we're at it
You can keep the Pentagon
Keep the propaganda
Keep each and every tv
That's been trying to convince me
To participate
In some prep school punk's plan to perpetuate retribution
Perpetuate retribution
Even as the blue toxic smoke of our lesson in retribution
Is still hanging in the air
And there's ash on our shoes
And there's ash in our hair
And there's a fine silt on every mantle
From Hell's Kitchen to Brooklyn
And the streets are full of stories
Sudden twists and near misses
And soon every open bar is crammed to the rafters
With tales of narrowly averted disasters
And the whiskey is flowin
Like never before
As all over the country
Folks just shake their heads
And pour

So here's a toast to all the folks that live in Palestine, Afghanistan, Iraq, El Salvador

Here's a toast to the folks living on the Pine Ridge Reservation
Under the stone cold gaze of Mt. Rushmore

Here's a toast to all those nurses and doctors
Who daily provide women with a choice
Who stand down a threat the size of Oklahoma City
Just to listen to a young woman's voice

Here's a toast to all the folks on death row right now
Awaiting the executioner's guillotine
Who are shackled there with dread and can only escape into their heads
To find peace in the form of a dream, peace in the form of a dream

'Cause take away our Playstations
And we are a third world nation
Under the thumb of some blue blood royal son
Who stole the Oval Office and that phony election
I mean
It don't take a weatherman
To look around and see the weather
Jeb said he'd deliver Florida, folks
And boy, did he ever

And we hold these truths to be self evident:
#1 George W. Bush is not President
#2 America is not a true democracy
#3 The media is not fooling me
'Cause I am a poem heeding hyper-distillation
I've got no room for a lie so verbose
I'm looking out over my whole human family
And I'm raising my glass in a toast

Here's to our last drink of fossil fuels
May we vow to get off of this sauce
Shoo away the swarms of commuter planes
And find that train ticket we lost
'Cause once upon a time, the line followed the river
And peeked into all the backyards
And the laundry was waving
The graffiti was teasing us
From brick walls and bridges
We were rolling over ridges
Through valleys
Under stars
I dream of touring like Duke Ellington
In my own railroad car
I dream of waiting on the tall blonde wooden benches
In a grand station aglow with grace
And then standing out on the platform
And feeling the air on my face

Give back the night its distant whistle
Give the darkness back its soul
Give the big oil companies the finger, finally
And relearn how to rock-n-roll
Yes, the lessons are all around us, and the truth is waiting there
So it's time to pick through the rubble, clean the streets and clear the air
Get our government to pull its big dick out of the sand
Of someone else's desert
Put it back in its pants
And quit the hypocritical chants of
Freedom forever

'Cause when one lone phone rang
In two thousand and one
At ten after nine
On nine one one
Which is the number we all called
When that lone phone rang right off the wall
Right off our desk and down the long hall
Down the long stairs
In a building so tall
That the whole world turned
Just to watch it fall

And while we're at it
Remember the first time around?
The bomb?
The Ryder truck?
The parking garage?
The princess that didn't even feel the pea?
Remember joking around in our apartment on Avenue D?

Can you imagine how many paper coffee cups would have to change their design
Following a fantastical reversal of the New York skyline?!

It was a joke
At the time
And that was just a few years ago
So let the record show
That the FBI was all over that case
That the plot was obvious and in everybody's face
And scoping that scene
Religiously
The CIA
Or is it KGB?
Committing countless crimes against humanity
With this kind of eventuality
As its excuse
For abuse after expensive abuse
And it didn't have a clue
Look, another window to see through
Way up here
On the 104th floor
Look
Another key
Another door
10% literal
90% metaphor
3000 some poems disguised as people
On an almost too perfect day
Must be more than pawns
In some asshole's passion play
So now it's your job
And it's my job
To make it that way
To make sure they didn't die in vain
Sshhhhhh....
Baby, listen
Hear the train?

you can doubt anything
if you think about it long enough
cuz what happened always adjusts to fit
what happened after that
and it's hard to feel like you are free
when all you seem to do is referee
remember when it was just you and me
steppin' up to bat?

and win or lose
just that you choose this little war
is what kills you
and either/or it's that this war
is maybe also what thrills you

we thought we left possession behind
but truth is i was yours and you were mine
and now i've replayed a thousand times
exactly what was said
cuz nothing is as it appears
in the funhouse mirrors of your fears
on the roller coaster of all these years
with your hands above your head

and win or lose
just that you choose this little war
is what kills you
and either/or it's that this war
is maybe also what thrills you

i don't care how fast you run
just tell me, baby, that when you're done
with your little marathon
you still got cab fare home
cuz the finish line is a shifty thing
and what is life but reckoning
and, you know
you are still the song i sing
to myself
when i'm alone

and win or lose just that we choose
this little war is what kills us
and either/or it's that this war
is maybe also what thrills us

when i was four years old
they tried to test my i.q.
they showed me a picture
of 3 oranges and a pear
they said,
which one is different?
it does not belong
they taught me different is wrong
but when i was 13 years old
i woke up one morning
thighs covered in blood
like a war
like a warning
that i live in a breakable takeable body
an ever increasingly valuable body
that a woman had come in the night to replace me
deface me
see,
my body is borrowed
yeah, i got it on loan
for the time in between my mom and some maggots
i don't need anyone to hold me
i can hold my own
i got highways for stretchmarks
see where i've grown
i sing sometimes
like my life is at stake
'cause you're only as loud
as the noises you make
i'm learning to laugh as hard
as i can listen
'cause silence
is violence
in women and poor people
if more people were screaming then i could relax
but a good brain ain't diddley
if you don't have the facts
we live in a breakable takeable world
an ever available possible world
and we can make music
like we can make do
genius is in a back beat
backseat to nothing if you're dancing
especially something stupid
like i.q.
for every lie i unlearn
i learn something new
i sing sometimes for the war that i fight
'cause every tool is a weapon -
if you hold it right.

in the jukebox of her memory
the list of names flips by and stops
and she closes her eyes
and smiles as the record drops
then she drinks herself up and out of her kitchen chair
and she dances out of time
as slow as she can sway
as long as she can say
this dance is mine
this dance is mine

her hair bears silent witness
to the passing of time
tattoos like mile markers
map the distance she has come
winning some, losing some
but she says my sister still calls every sunday night
after the rates go down
and i still can never manage to say anything right
and my whole life blew up
and now it's all coming down

she says, leave me alone
tonight i just wanna stay home
she fills the pot with water
and she drops in the bone
she says, i've got a darkness that i have to feed
i got a sadness that grows up around me like a weed
and i'm not hurting anyone
i'm just spiraling in
and then she closes her eyes
and hears the song begin again

she appreciates the phone calls
the consoling cards and such
she appreciates all the people
who come by and try to pull her back in touch
they try to hold the lid down tightly
and they try to shake well
but the oil and water
they just wanna separate themselves

she drinks herself up and out of her kitchen chair
and she dances out of time
as slow as she can sway
as long as she can say
this dance is mine
this dance is mine
this dance is mine

How can I go home
With nothing to say?
I know you're going to look at me that way
And say "What did you do out there?
And what did you decide?"
You said you needed time
And you had time

You are a china shop
And I am a bull
You are really good food
And I am full
I guess everything is timing
I guess everything's been said
So I am coming home with an empty head

You'll say "Did they love you or what?"
I'll say "They love what I do
The only one who really loves me is you"
And you'll say "Girl, did you kick some butt?"
And I'll say "I don't really remember
But my fingers are sore
And my voice is too"

You'll say "It's really good to see you"
You'll say "I missed you horribly"
You'll say "Let me carry that
Give that to me"
And you will take the heavy stuff
And you will drive the car
And I'll look out the window and make jokes
About the way things are

How can I go home
With nothing to say?
I know you're going to look at me that way
And say "What did you do out there?
And what did you decide?"
You said you needed time
and you had time

You had time...
You had time...
You had time...
You had time...