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we skipped the light fandango
and turned cart wheels cross the floor I was feeling kind of sea sick but the crowd called out for more the room was humming harder as the ceiling flew a way when we called out for an other drink the waiter brought a tray and so it was that later as the miller told his tale that her face at frist just ghostly Turned a whiter shade of pale she said there is no reason and the truth is plain to see But I wandered through my playing cards and would not let her be One of sixteen vestal virgins who were leaving for the coast and al though my eyes were open they might just have well been closed and so it was that later as the miller told his tale that her face at first just ghostly turned a whiter shade of pale |
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| 2. |
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Lime Street in the afternoon
everybody crazy as a coon I'm running round in my underpants trying to find some kinda romance Quarter past three [sic] on Lime Street I got whipped right offa my feet Didn't realize that I'd been caught till I found myself in the County Court 'Mr Judge,' I said, 'Won't you please be kind Have pity on me, a poor orphan child?' Mr Judge he says with a long mean frown 'Orphan or not, you're going down!' Well I screamed on my knees in the witness box, 'Lord have mercy on my golden locks.' The judge I could see that he was snide He says, 'The only kind of blonde you are's a peroxide!' Oh Lime Street, Lime Street Lime Street, that's where we meet |
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For you (whose eyes were opened wide whilst mine refused to see)
I'm sore in need of saving grace. Be kind and humour me I'm lost amidst a sea of wheat where people speak but seldom meet And grief and laughter, strange but true Although they die, they seldom cry An ode by any other name I know might read more sweet Perhaps the sun will never shine upon my field of wheat But still in closing, let me say for those too sick, too sick to see though nothing shows, yes, someone knows I wish that one was me |
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My Prussian-blue electric clock's
alarm bell rings, it will not stop and I can see no end in sight and search in vain by candlelight for some long road that goes nowhere for some signpost that is not there And even my befuddled brain is shining brightly, quite insane The chandelier is in full swing as gifts for me the three kings bring of myrrh and frankincense, I'm told, and fat old Buddhas carved in gold And though it seems they smile with glee I know in truth they envy me and watch as my befuddled brain shines on brightly quite insane Above all else confusion reigns And though I ask no-one explains My eunuch friend has been and gone He said that I must soldier on And though the Ferris wheel spins round my tongue it seems has run aground and croaks as my befuddled brain shines on brightly, quite insane |
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Weird goings-on at the county jail
Prisoners reading the sheriffs mail Hes strapped down to a swivel chair Trying to swivel right out of there Pin-striped sweets in cell 15 Convinced his self its all a dream Hes got a pet black tabby cat That carries a gun and wears a stetson hat The door flies open, in strides geek Looking like the front page of newsweek He says to lou in a voice of glee, whats the matter, aint you glad to see me? Lous on the floor cause he cant stand up As green as a leaf in a tea-cup When on to geeks back jumps a stetson-hatted cat Which breaks geeks neck like he was a rat Long gone geek! Long gone geek! Long gone geek! Long gone geek! Long gone geek! Long gone geek! Long gone geek! Long gone geek! |
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Ain't gonna ride that whisky train
Ain't gonna burn up no more flame Throw away my bottle down the drain Ain't gonna ride that whisky train To think that I could be so wrong To be so sick and still go on The way I drink it's been too long Don't see much point in carrying on I'm gonna lose these drinking blues I'm gonna find a girl to make me choose Between lovin' her and drinking booze I'm gonna lose these drinking blues Ain't gonna ride that whisky train I'm tired of burning in the flame Throw away my bottle down the drain Ain't gonna ride that whisky train |
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Simple sister
Got whooping cough Have to burn her toys Take her treats Eat her sweets Scare off all the boys Simple sister Got whooping cough Have to put her out Wear her clothes Steal her bows Tell her that she's stout Simple sister Got whooping cough Lock her in a cell Throw the key Into the sea Hope she never gets well |
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