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I opened the fire door
to four lips none of which were mine kissing tightened my belt around my hips where your hands were missing and stepped out into the cold collar high under the slate grey sky the air was smoking and the streets were dry and I wasn't joking when I said Good Bye magazine quality men talking on the corner French, no less much less of them then us so why do I feel like something's been rearranged? you know, taken out of context I must seem so strange killed a cockroach so big it left a puddle of pus on the wall when you and I are lying in bed you don't seem so tall I'm singing now because my tear ducts are too tired and my mind is disconnected but my heart is wired I make such a good statistic someone should study me now somebody's got to be interested in how I feel just 'cause I'm here and I'm real oh, how I miss substituting the conclusion to confrontation with a kiss and oh, how I miss walking up to the edge and jumping in like I could feel the future on your skin I opened the fire door to four lips none of which were mine kissing I opened the fire door x 9 |
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How can I go home
With nothing to say? I know you're going to look at me that way And say "What did you do out there? And what did you decide?" You said you needed time And you had time You are a china shop And I am a bull You are really good food And I am full I guess everything is timing I guess everything's been said So I am coming home with an empty head You'll say "Did they love you or what?" I'll say "They love what I do The only one who really loves me is you" And you'll say "Girl, did you kick some butt?" And I'll say "I don't really remember But my fingers are sore And my voice is too" You'll say "It's really good to see you" You'll say "I missed you horribly" You'll say "Let me carry that Give that to me" And you will take the heavy stuff And you will drive the car And I'll look out the window and make jokes About the way things are How can I go home With nothing to say? I know you're going to look at me that way And say "What did you do out there? And what did you decide?" You said you needed time and you had time You had time... You had time... You had time... You had time... |
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Buildings and bridges
Are made to bend in the wind To withstand the world Thats what it takes. All that steel and stone Are no match for the air, my friend. What doesn't bend breaks What doesn't bend breaks. la da da da da... We are made to bleed And scab and heal and bleed again and turn every scar into a joke. We are made to fight And fuck and talk and fight again. And sit around and laugh until we choke Sit around and laugh until we choke. la da da da da... Don't know who you were expecting... Probably some bitch who does not budge. With eyes the size of snow. I may get pissed off sometimes, But you seem like the type to hold a grudge and in the end I just let go, In the end I'll just let go... la da da da da... Buildings and bridges Are made to bend in the wind, To withstand the world Thats what it takes. All that steel and stone Are no match for the air my friend, What doesn't bend breaks What doesn't bend breaks. la da da da da da da la da da da da.... |
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our father who art in a penthouse
sits in his 37th floor suite and swivels to gaze down at the city he made me in he allows me to stand and sollicit graffiti until he needs the land i stand on i in my darkened threshold am pawing through my pockets the receipts, the bus schedules urgent napkin poems and matchbook phone numbers all of which laundering has rendered pulpy and strange loose change and a key ask me go ahead, ask me if i care i got the answer here i wrote it down somewhere i just gotta find it i just gotta find it somebody and their spraypaint got too close somebody came on too heavy now look at me made ugly by the drooling letters i was better off alone ain't that the way it is they don't know the first thing but you don't know that until they take the first swing my fingers are red and swollen from the cold i'm getting bold in my old age so go ahead, try the door it doesn't matter anymore i know the weakhearted are strongwilled and we are being kept alive until we're killed he's up there the ice is clinking in his glass i don't ask i just empty my pockets and wait it's not fate it's just circumstance i don't fool myself with romance i just live phone number to phone number dusting them against my thighs in the warmth of my pockets which whisper history incessantly asking me where were you i lower my eyes wishing i could cry more and care less, yes it's true, i was trying to love someone again, i was caught caring, bearing weight but i love this city, this state this country is too large and whoever's in charge up there had better take the elevator down and put more than change in our cup or else we are coming up |
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Well the heat is so great
It plays tricks with the eye It turns the road into water Then from water to sky And there's a crack in the concrete floor That starts at the sink Yea, there's a bathroom in the gas station And I've locked myself in it to think Back in the city The sun bakes the trash on the curb The men are pissing in doorways And the rats are running in herds And I've got a dream with your face in it That scares me awake I've put too much on my table Now I've got too much at stake And I might let you off easy Yea I might lead you on I might wait for you to look for me And then I might be gone There's where I've come from and where I'm going And I am lost in between I might go out to that phone booth And leave a veiled invitation on your machine And you'll stop me, won't you? If you've heard this one before Oh the one where I surprise you By showing up at your front door Saying, "Let's not ask what next or how or why I'm leaving in the morning So let's not be shy" Don't be shy The door opens, the room winces The housekeeper comes in without a warning And I squint at the muscular motel lady And say "Hey morning" As she jumps her keys jingle She leaves as quickly as she came in And I roll over and taste the pillow with my grin Well the sheets are twisted and damp But the heat is so great And I swear I can feel the mattress Sinking underneath your weight Boy your sleep is like a fever And I'm glad when it ends Oh the road flows like a river And it pulls me round every bend Stop me, won't you? If you've heard this one before Oh the one where I surprise you By showing up at your front door Saying, "Let's not ask what next or how or why I am leaving in the morning So let's not be shy" Don't be shy Well the heat is so great It plays tricks with the eye It turns the road into water Then from water to sky And there's a crack in the concrete floor It starts at the sink There's a bathroom in the gas station And I have locked myself in it to think And you'll stop me, won't you? If you've heard this one before yeah the one where I surprise you By showing up at your front door Saying, "Let's not ask what next or how or why I am leaving in the morning So let's not be shy" You'll stop me, won't you? If you've heard this one before yeah the one where I surprise you By showing up at your front door Saying, "Let's not ask what next how or why I'm leaving in the morning So let's not be shy" Don't be shy no dont be shy no don't be shy no don't be shy come on fucker don't be shy |
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Squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition I am a poster girl with no poster I am 32 flavors and then some And I'm beyond your peripheral vision So you might want to turn your head 'Cause someday you are gonna get hungry And eat most of the words you just said Both my parents taught me about goodwill And I have done well by their names Just the kindness I've lavished on strangers Is more than I can explain Still there's many who've turned out their porch lights Just so I would think they were not home And hid in the dark of their windows Till I'd passed and left them alone Hey, yo, hey Oh, hey, yo, hey, yo Oh, hey, yo, hey Oh, hey, yo, hey, yo God help you if you are an ugly girl Course, too pretty is also your doom 'Cause everyone harbors a secret hatred For the prettiest girl in the room And God help you if you are a phoenix And you dare to rise up from the ash A thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy While you are just flying past And I'll never try to give my life meaning By demeaning you But I would like to state for the record I did everything that I could do I'm not saying that I am a saint I just don't want to live that way No, I will never be a saint But I will always say Squint your eyes and look closer I'm not between you and your ambition I am a poster girl with no poster I am 32 flavors and then some And I'm beyond your peripheral vision So you might want to turn your head 'Cause someday you might find you are starving And eating all of the words that you said Oh, oh, hey, yo Oh, hey, yo Oh, hey, yo, hey, yo Oh, hey, yo Mm, mm, mm, mm Mm, mm, mm, mm Oh, hey, yo Oh, hey, yo Oh, hey, yo, hey, yo Oh, hey, yo |
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life used to be life-like
now it's more like show biz i wake up in the night and i don't know where the bathroom is and i don't know what town i'm in or what sky i am under and i wake up in the darkness and i don't have the will anymore to wonder everyone has a skeleton and a closet to keep it in and you're mine every song has a you a you that the singer sings to and you're it this time baby, you're it this time when i need to wipe my face i use the back of my hand and i like to take up space just because i can and i use my dress to wipe up my drink i care less and less what people think and you are so lame you always disappoint me it's kinda like our running joke but it's really not funny i just want you to live up to the image of you i create i see you and i'm so unsatisfied i see you and i dilate so i'll walk the plank and i'll jump with a smile if i'm gonna go down i'm gonna do it with style and you won't see me surrender you won't hear me confess 'cuz you've left me with nothing but i've worked with less and i learn every room long enough to make it to the door and then i hear it click shut behind me and every key works differently i forget every time and the forgetting defines me that's what defines me when i say you sucked my brain out the english translation is i am in love with you and it is no fun but i don't use words like love 'cuz words like that don't matter but don't look so offended you know, you should be flattered i wake up in the night in some big hotel bed my hands grope for the light my hands grope for my head the world is my oyster the road is my home and i know that i'm better off alone |
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i heard the sound of your bike,
as your wheels hit the gravel, then your engine in the driveway cutting off and i pushed through the screen door and i stood out on the porch thinking fight, fight, fight at all costs, but instead i let you in, just like i've always done and i sat you down and offered you a beer and across the kitchen table i fired several rounds, but you were still sitting there when the smoke cleared. and you came crawling back to say that you wanna make good in the end and oh, oh, let me count the ways that i abhor you, and you were never a good lay and you were never a good friend but, oh, oh, what else can i say... i adore you all i need is my leather, one t-shirt and two socks, i'll keep my hands warm in your pockets and you can use the engine block, and we'll ride out to california with my arms around your chest, and i'll pretend that this is real 'cuz this is what i like best, and you've been juggling two women like a stupid circus clown telling us both we are the one and maybe you can keep me from ever being happy, but you're not gonna stop me from having fun. so let's go before i change my mind i'll leave the luggage of all your lies behind 'cuz i am bigger than everything that came before and you were never very kind, and you let me way down every time but oh, oh, oh what can i say... i adore you i heard the sound of your bike, as your wheels hit the gravel, then your engine in the driveway cutting off |
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Think I'm going for a walk now. I feel a little unsteady.
Don't want nobody to follow me. . . 'cept maybe you. I could make you happy you know if you weren't already. I could do a lot of things. . .and I do. To tell you the truth I prefer the worst of you. Too bad you had to have a better half. She's not really my type, but I think you two are forever And I hate to say it, but you're perfect together So fuck you And your untouchable face fuck you For existing in the first place And who am I That I should be vying for your touch Said who am I I bet you can't even tell me that much Two-thirty in the morning and my gas tank will be empty soon Neon sign on the horizon Rubbing elbows with the moon It's A safe haven of sleepless Where the deep fryer's always on radio is counting down the top twenty country songs And out on the porch the fly strip is waving like a flag in the wind You know I don't look forward to seeing you again You'll look like a photograph of yourself taken from far far away And I won't know what to do. And I won't know what to say Except fuck you And your untouchable face fuck you For existing in the first place And who am I That I should be vying for your touch Said who am I I bet you can't even tell me that much I see you and I'm so perplexed. What was I thinking? What will I think of next? Where can I hide? In the back room there's a lamp that hangs over the pool table And when the fan is on it sways, gently side to side And There's a changing constellation of balls as we are playing I see Orion and say nothing the only thing I can think of saying Is fuck you And your untouchable face fuck you For existing in the first place who am I That I should be vying for your touch Said who am I I bet you can't even tell me that much Said who am I I bet you can't even tell me that much Said who am I Sombody just tell me that much Said who am I Somebody just tell me that much Said who am I Somebody just tell me that much Said who am I Somebody, somebody just tell me that much. . . |
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I do it for the joy it brings
because I'm a joyful girl. Because the world owes me nothing and we owe each other the world. I do it because it's the least I can do. I do it because I learned it from you and I do it just because I want to Because I want to. Everything I do is judged And they mostly get it wrong But oh well. 'Cause the bathroom mirror has not budged and the woman who lives there can tell the truth from the stuff that they say. And, she looks me in the eye and says "would you prefer the easy way? No? Well, okay, then ... Don't cry." I wonder if everything I do I do instead of something I want to do more? The question fills my head. I know there's no grand plan here this is just the way it goes. When everything else seems unclear I guess at least I know I do it for the joy it brings because I'm a joyful girl because the world owes me nothing and we owe each other the world I do it because it's the least I can do I do it because I learned it from you and I do it just because I want to because I want to |
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in a coffee shop in a city
which is every coffee shop in every city on a day which is every day i picked up a magazine which is every magazine read a story then i forgot it right away and they say goldfish have no memory i guess their lives are much like mine and the little plastic castle is a surprise every time and it's hard to say if they're happy but they don't seem much to mind from the shape of your shaved head i recognized your silhouette as you walked out of the sun and sat down and the sight of your sleepy smile eclipsed all the other people as they paused to sneer at the two girls from out of town and i said, "look at you this morning you are by far the cutest but be careful getting coffee i think these people want to shoot us or maybe there's some kind of local competition here to see who can be the rudest" people talk about my image like i come in two dimensions like lipstick is a sign of my decling mind like what i happen to be wearing the day that someone takes a picture is my new statement for all womankind and i wish they could see us now in leather bras and rubber shorts like some ridiculous new team uniform for some ridiculous new sport quick someone call the girl police and file a report in a coffee shop in a city which is every coffee shop in every city on a day which is every day |
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They were digging a new foundation in Manhattan
And they discovered a slave cemetary there May their souls rest easy Now that lynching is frowned upon And we've moved on to the electric chair And I wonder who's gonna be president Tweedle dumb or tweedle dumber? And who's gonna have the big Blockbuster box office this summer? How about we put up a wall between houses and the highway? And you can go your way, and i can go my way Except all the radios agree with all the TVs And the magazines agree with all the radios And I keep hearing that same damn song everywhere I go Maybe I should put a bucket over my head And a marshmallow in each ear And stumble around for another dumb-numb week For another hum drum hit song to appear People used to make records As in a record of an event The event of people playing music in a room Now everything is cross-marketing It's about sunglasses and shoes Or guns and drugs You choose We got it rehashed We got it half-assed We're digging up all the graves And we're spitting on the past And you can choose between the colors Ff the lipstick on the whores Cause we know the difference between The font of 20% more And the font of teriyaki You tell me How does it make you feel? You tell me what's real? And they say that alcoholics are always alcoholics Even when they're as dry as my lips for years Even when they're stranded on a small desert island With no place within 2,000 miles to buy beer And I wonder Is he different? Is he different? Has he changed? What's he about?... Or is he just a liar with nothing to lie about? Am I headed for the same brick wall Is there anything I can do about anything at all? Except go back to that corner in Manhattan And dig deeper, dig deeper this time Down beneath the impossible pain of our history Beneath unknown bones Beneath the bedrock of the mystery Beneath the sewage systems and the path train Beneath the cobblestones and the water mains Beneath the traffic of friendships and street deals Beneath the screeching of kamikaze cab wheels Beneath everything I can think of to think about Beneath it all, beneath all get out Beneath the good and the kind and the stupid and the cruel There's a fire just waiting for fuel There's a fire just waiting for fuel |
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you can't hide
behind social graces so don't try to be all touchy feely cuz you lie in my face of all places but i've got no problem with that really what bugs me is that you believe what you're saying what bothers me is that you don't know how you feel what scares me is that while you're telling me stories you actually believe that they are real and i've got no illusions about you and guess what? i never did and when i said when i said i'll take it i meant, i meant as is just give up and admit you're an asshole you would be in some good company i think you'd find that you friends would forgive you or maybe i am just speaking for me cuz when i look around i think this, this is good enough and i try to laugh at whatever life brings cuz when i look down i just miss all the good stuff when i look up i just trip over things and i've got no illusions about you... you can't hide behind social graces cuz i don't buy it like everyone else and you can lie in my face of all places just don't lie to yourself cuz i've got no illusions about you and guess what? i never did and when i say when i say i'll take it i mean, i mean as is... ...as is... |
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they told you your music
could reach millions that the choice was up to you you told me they always pay for lunch and they believe in what i do and i wonder will you miss your old friends once you've proven what you're worth yeah i wonder when you're a big star will you miss the earth and i know you would always want more i know you would never be done 'cuz everyone is a fucking napoleon yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon and the next time that i saw you you were larger than life you came and you conquered you were doing alright you had an army of suits behind you and all you had to be was willing and i said i still make a pretty good living but you must make a killing a killing and i hope that you are happy i hope at least you are having fun 'cuz but everyone is a fucking napoleon yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon now you think, so that is the way it's gonna be that's what this is all about i think that that is the way it always was you chose not to notice until now yeah now that there's a problem you call me up to confide and you go on for over an hour 'bout each one that took you for a ride and i guess that you dialed my number 'cuz you thought for sure that i'd agree i said baby, you know i still love you but how dare you complain to me everyone is a fucking napoleon yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon |
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I cannot name this
I cannot explain this And I really don't want to Just call me shameless I can't even slow this down Let alone stop this And I keep looking around But I cannot top this If I had any sense I guess I'd fear this I guess I'd keep it down So no one would hear this I guess I'd shut my mouth And rethink for a minute But I can't shut it now 'cuz there's something in it We're in a room without a door And I am sure without a doubt They're gonna wanna know How we got in here And they're gonna wanna know How we plan to get out We better have a good explanation For all the fun that we had 'cuz they are coming for us, babe And they are going to be mad Yeah they're going to be mad at us This is my skeleton This is the skin it's in That is according to light And gravity I'll take off my disguise The mask you met me in 'cuz I got something For you to see Just gimme your skeleton Give me the skin it's in Yeah baby, this is you According to me I never avert my eyes I never compromise So never, never mind The poetry We're in a room without a door And I am sure without a doubt They're gonna wanna know How we got in here And they're gonna wanna know How we plan to get out We better have a good explanation For all the fun that we had 'cuz they are coming for us, babe And they are going to be mad Yeah they're going to be mad at us I gotta cover my butt 'cuz I covet Another man's wife I gotta divide my emotions Into wrong and right Then I get to see how close I can get to it Without giving in Then I get to rub up against it Till I break the skin Yeah I got to rub up against it Till I break the skin They're gonna be mad at us They're gonna be mad at me and you They're gonna be mad at us And all the things we wanna do They're gonna be mad at us They're gonna be mad at me and you They're gonna be mad at us And all the things we wanna do Just please don't name this Please don't explain this Just blame it all on me Say I was shameless Say I couldn't slow it down Let alone stop it And say you just hung around 'cuz you couldn't top it |
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Hold me down
I am floating away Into the overcast skies Over my home town On election day What is it about Birmingham? What is it about buffalo? Did the hate filled wanna build bunkers In your beautiful red earth They want to build them In our shiny white snow Now I've drawn closed the curtain In this little booth where the truth has no place to stand And I am feeling oh so powerless In this stupid booth with this useless Little lever in my hand And outside my city is bracing For the next killing thing Standing by the bridge and praying For the next doctor Martin Luther King It was just one shot Through the kitchen window It was just two miles from here If you fly like a crow A bullet came to visit a doctor In his one safe place A bullet ensuring the right to life Whizzed past his kid and his wife And knocked his glasses Right off of his face And the blood poured off the pulpit Yeah the blood poured down the picket lines Yeah, the hatred was immediate And the vengence was divine So they went and stuffed god Down the barrel of a gun And after him They stuffed his only son Hello birmingham It's buffalo I heard you had some trouble Down there again And I'm just calling to let to know That someone understands I was once escorted Through the doors of a clinic By a man in a bulletproof vest And no bombs went off that day So I am still here to say Birmingham I'm wishing you all of my best Oh Birmingham I'm wishing you all of my best Oh Birmingham I'm wishing you all of my best on this election day |
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the sky is grey
the sand is grey and the ocean is grey and i feel right at home in this stunning monochrome alone in my way i smoke and i drink and every time i blink i have a tiny dream but as bad as i am i'm proud of the fact that i'm worse than i seem what kind of paradise am i looking for? i've got everything i want and still i want more maybe some tiny shiny key will wash up on the shore you walk through my walls like a ghost on tv you penetrate me and my little pink heart is on its little brown raft floating out to sea and what can i say but i'm wired this way and you're wired to me and what can i do but wallow in you unintentionally what kind of paradise am i looking for? i've got everything i want and still i want more maybe some tiny shiny key will wash up on the shore regretfully i guess i've only got three simple things to say: why me? why this now? why this way? with overtones ringing and undertows pulling away under a sky that is grey on sand that is grey by an ocean that's grey what kind of paradise am i looking for? i've got everything i want and still i want more maybe some tiny shiny key will wash up on the shore |
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the answer came
like a shot in the back while you were running from your lesson which might explain why years later all you could remember was the terror of the question plus, you weren't listening you were stockpiling canned goods making a bomb shelter of our basement and i can't believe you let the moral go by while you were soaking in the product placement where was your conscience? where was your consciousness? and where did you put all those letters that you wrote to yourself but could not address? i'm a good kisser and you're a fast learner and that kinda thing could float us for a pretty long time then one day you'd realize you've memorized my phone number and you'll call it and find it's a disconnected line cuz i got tossed out the window of love's el camino and i shattered into a shower of sparks on the curb you were smoking me weren't you? between your yellow fingers you just inhaled and exhaled without saying a word where was your conscience? where was your consciousness? and where did you put all those letters that you wrote to yourself but could not address? there's a smorgasbord of unspoken poisons a whole childhood of potions that are all bottled up and so one by one i am dusting off labels i am uncorking bottles and filling up cups so go ahead and have a taste of your own medicine and i'll have a taste of mine but first let's toast to the lists that we hold in our fists of the things that we promise to do differently next time cuz the answer came like a shot in the back while you were running from your lesson which might explain why years later all you could remember was the terror of the question plus i'm not listening to you anymore my head is too sore and my heart's perforated and i'm mired in the marrow of my (well... ain't that) funny bone learning how to be alone and devastated where was my conscience? where was my consciousness? and what do i do with all these letters that i wrote to myself but cannot address? |
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I bet you're wondering.
if you woke up today, just to learn why the caged bird sings. I bet you're wondering if the goddesses are all crazy, or just keeping it interesting, situated slightly outside society, at odds with its odd offerings. I bet you're teetering on the edge of sobriety, just to alleviate a few things. Like the fear that you're standing here, 'cause you want to be liked. You know you need your instrument, but does your instrument need to be miked? You keep imagining that pretty soon you will just disappear, and thinking that one thing is what saves you from your fear of being here. Here for now. Here for now. I bet you're looking for the little red x next to the red arrow, and the words 'you are here'. I bet you're hoping that your heart will send up the white flag this time, or some sign that the coast is clear. Yeah, the moment when your heart jumps. It's all that's happening, and once again, it's like the first time you've felt that shock. yeah, the moment when your heart jumps It's all that's happening, and I was right behind the door when you knocked. Thinking: maybe I'm just standing here, 'cause I want to be liked. I know I need my instrument, but does my instrument need to be miked? I keep imagining that pretty soon I will just disappear, and thinking that one thing is what saves me from my fear of being here. Here for now. Here for now. Here for now. |
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white people are so scared of black people
they bulldoze out to the country and put up houses on little loop-dee-loop streets and while america gets its heart cut right out of its chest the berlin wall still runs down main street separating east side from west and nothing is stirring, not even a mouse in the boarded-up stores and the broken-down houses so they hang colorful banners off all the street lamps just to prove they got no manners no mercy and no sense and i'm wondering what it will take for my city to rise first we admit our mistakes then we open our eyes the ghosts of old buildings are haunting parking lots in the city of good neighbors that history forgot i remember the first time i saw someone lying on the cold street i thought: i can't just walk past here this can't just be true but i learned by example to just keep moving my feet it's amazing the things that we all learn to do so we're led by denial like lambs to the slaughter serving empires of style and carbonated sugar water and the old farm road's a four-lane that leads to the mall and our dreams are all guillotines waiting to fall i'm wondering what it will take for my country to rise first we admit our mistakes and then we open our eyes or nature succumbs to one last dumb decision and america the beautiful is just one big subdivision |
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Words and music by Ani DiFranco
As dolls go I am broken And you could just let that get us off the hook But from under the umbrella of the unspoken I see you giving me that look Baby, you're right as rain about the benefits But you might be wrong about the costs And it feeds my heart that you came looking for me But I'm thinkin I need to stay lost So I won't say I saw you fibbing Or jump-jigging across the floor I won't say you walked me to my car And draped your arm on my open door I know my mind is made of matter But I need to know exactly What is the matter at it's core? Because my heart is just a muscle And simply put, it's sore So never mind about the benefits And never mind about the costs That don't change the basic premises In which I am surely lost So I won't say I saw you fibbing Or jump-jigging across the floor I won't say you walked me to my car And draped your arm on my open door |
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you keep telling me i'm beautiful
but i feel a little less each time your love is so colorful it flashes like a neon sign but i finally drove out where the sky is dark enuf to see stars and i found i missed no one just listening to the swishing of distant cars i hope i never see the ocean again pushing and pulling at me as i go deeper and deeper in til i'm so far from my shore so far from what i came here for i let you surround me i let you drown me out with your din and then i learned how to swim i was floating above myself watching her do just what you wanted poor little friendly ghost wondering why her whole house feels haunted i told myself i was strong enuf that i had plenty of blood to give and each elbow cradled a needle but listless and faint ain't no way to live so i hope i never see the ocean again pushing and pulling at me as i go deeper and deeper in til i'm so far from my shore so far from what i came here for i let you surround me i let you drown me out with your din and then i learned how to swim and you keep telling me i'm beautiful but i feel less and less so each time your love is so colorful it flashes like a neon sign but i finally drove out where the sky is dark enuf to see the stars and i found i missed no one just listening to the swishing of distant cars |
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| 28. |
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I was born to two immigrants
Who knew why they were here They were happy to pay taxes For the schools and roads Happy to be here They took it seriously The second job of citizenry My mother went campaigning door to door And holding to her hand was me I was just a girl in a room full of women Licking stamps and laughing I remember the feeling of community brewing Of democracy happening But I suppose like anybody I had to teach myself to see All that stuff that got lost On its way to church All that stuff that got lost On its way to school All that stuff that got lost On its way to the house of my family All that stuff that was not lost on me Teach myself to see each of us Through the lens of forgiveness Like we're stuck with each other (god forbid!) Teach myself to smile and stop and talk To a whole other color kid Teach myself to be new in an instant Like the truth is accessible at any time Teach myself it's never really one or the other There's a paradox in every paradigm I was just a girl in a room full of women Licking stamps and laughing I remember the feeling of community brewing |
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| 29. |
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I'm holding here a book
Notable, but not the greatest Stolen for me by the latest In a long line of thieves And I'm just about to drop it Down that manhole of memories When I realize it doesn't bother me Like love's mementos usually do And I look up to see who's different here The latest me or the latest you Course, you're the kind of guy who doesn't lie He just doctors everything Chooses some unassuming finger And quietly moves his wedding ring Who rewrites his autobiography For any pretty girl who'll sing But you can't fool the queen, baby Cuz I married the king And maybe it was I who betrayed his majesty With no opposite reality Like a puddle with no reflection Of the sky or the trees But after my dreaded beheading I tied that sucker back on with a string And I guess I'm pretty different now Considering I kissed you on the street that night On the far side of four But I didn't like the taste In my mouth or yours And ignoring the persona you wore for my benefit For once I had the balls to call it Just call it But a lesson must be lived In order to be learned And the clarity to see and stop this now That is what I've earned And maybe it was I who betrayed his majesty With no opposite reality Like a puddle with no reflection Of the sky or the trees But after my dreaded beheading I tied that sucker back on with a string And I guess I'm pretty different now Considering I'm holding here a book Notable, but not the greatest Stolen for me by the latest In a long line of thieves And I'm just about to drop it Down that manhole of memories When I realize it doesn't bother me And heartache not so dire Cuz I looked up to see integrity Finally won over desire |
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| 30. |
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I am out here studying stones
Trying to learn to be less alive Using all of my will To keep very still Still even on the inside I've cut all of the pertinent wires So my eyes can't make that connection I am holding my breath I am feigning my death When I'm looking in your direction 'Course numb is an old hat Old as my oldest memories See that one's my mother And that one's my father And that one in the hat, that's me It's a skill I'd hoped to abandon When I got out on the open road But any more pent up emotion And I think I'm gonna explode There's never been an endeavor so strange As trying to slow the blood in my veins To keep my face blank As a stone that just sank Until not a ripple remains I am high above the tree line Sitting cross legged on the ground When all of the forbidden fruit has fallen and rotted That's when I'm gonna come down 'Course numb is an old hat Old as my oldest memories See that one's my mother And that one's my father And that one in the hat, that's me It's a skill I'd hoped to abandon When I got out on the open road But any more pent up emotion And I think I'm gonna explode |
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| 31. |
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so that's how you found me
rain falling around me lookin down at a worm with a long way to go and the traffic was hissing by and i was homesick and i was high i was surrounded by a language in which i could say only hello and i thank you very much but you spoke so i could understand and i drew a treasure map on your hand and you were no picnic you were no prize but you had just enough pathos to keep me hypnotized hypnotized the map led ro an island in a seas of store-bought dreams where soulless singers sang over beats built by machines and lovely girls were hovering above my head like gulls with their long slender necks and their delicate skulls and i was no picnic i was no prize but i had just enough sweetness to keep you hypnotized hypnotized so that's how you found me rain falling around me lookin down at a worm with a long way to go |
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| 32. |
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| 33. |
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millennium theater
get out there and buy that water and gas ramadan, orange alert everybody put on your gas mask first leak it out about the president then stand up and shout impeachment pull them coattails out from under that little v.p. before he has a chance to get in the driver's seat millennium spectacle everybody put on a show slip the little prince in the back door 21st century here we go digital whiplash so many formats so little time while out in tv nation under darkening skies the resistance is just waiting to be organized halliburton, enron chief justices for sale yucca mountain goddesses their tears they form a trail trickle down pollution patriarchies realign while the ice caps melt and new orleans bides her time new orleans bides her time ladies and gentlemen welcome to tonight's show the millennium theater asks that you not smoke please turn off your cell phones and forget what you think you know |
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| 34. |
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coming of age during the plague
of reagan and bush watching capitalism gun down democracy it had this funny effect on me I guess I am cancer I am HIV and I am down at the blue jesus blue cross hospital just lookin' up from my pillow feeling blessed and the mighty multinationals have monopolized the oxygen so it's as easy as breathing for us all to participate yes they're buying and selling off shares of air and you know it's all around you but it's hard to point and say "there" so you just sit on your hands and quietly contemplate your next bold move the next thing you're gonna have to prove to yourself what a waste of thumbs that are opposable to make machines that are disposable and sell them to seagulls flying in circles around one big right wing yes, the left wing was broken long ago by the slingshot of cointelpro and now it's so hard to have faith in anything especially your next bold move or the next thing you're gonna need to prove to yourself you want to track each trickle back to its source and then scream up the faucet 'til your face is hoarse cuz you're surrounded by a world's worth of things you just can't excuse but you've got the hard cough of a chain smoker and you're at the arctic circle playing strip poker and it's getting colder and colder everytime you lose so go ahead make your next bold move tell us what's the next thing you're gonna have to prove to yourself |
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| 35. |
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I am walking
out in the rain and I am listening to the low moan of the dial tone again and I am getting nowhere with you and I can't let it go and I can't get through... The old woman behind the pink curtains and the closed door on the first floor she's listening through the air shaft to see how long our swan song can last And both hands now use both hands oh, no don't close your eyes I am writing graffitti on your body I am drawing the story of how hard we tried I am watching your chest rise and fall like the tides of my life, and the rest of it all and your bones have been my bedframe and your flesh has been my pillow I am waiting for sleep to offer up the deep with both hands Oh! both hands And in each other's shadows we grew less and less tall and eventually our theories couldn't explain it all and I'm recording our history now on the bedroom wall and when we leave the landlord will come and paint over it all And I am walking out in the rain and I am listening to the low moan of the dial tone again and I am getting nowhere with you and I can't let it go and I can't get though So now use both hands please use both hands oh, no don't close your eyes I am writing graffitti on your body I am drawing the story of how hard we tried hard we tried how hard we tried |
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| 36. |
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I search your profile
for a translation I study the conversation like a map 'cause I know there is strength in the differences between us and I know there is comfort where we overlap come here stand in front of the light stand still so I can see your silhouette I hope that you have got all night 'cause I'm not done looking, no, I'm not done looking yet each one of us wants a piece of the action you can hear it in what we say you can see it in what we do we negotiate with chaos for some sense of satisfaction if you won't give it to me at least give me a better view come here stand in front of the light stand still so I can see your sillouette I hope that you have got all night 'cause I'm not done looking no, I'm not done looking yet I build each one of my songs out of glass so you can see me inside of them I suppose or you could just leave the image of me in the background, I guess and watch your own reflection superimposed and I build each one of my days out of hope and I give that hope your name and I don't know you that well but it don't take much to tell either you don't have the balls or you don't feel the same come here stand in front of the light stand still so I can see your silhouette I hope that you have got all night 'cause I'm not done looking no, I'm not done looking yet I seach your profile for a translation I study the conversation like a map 'cause I know there is strength in the differences between us and I know there is comfort where we overlap |
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| 37. |
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| 38. |
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back back back in the back of your mind
are you learning an angry language, tell me boy boy boy are you tending to your joy or are you just letting it vanquish back back back in the dark of your mind where the eyes of your demons are gleamin are you mad mad mad about the life you never had even when you are dreaming. who are these old old people in these nursing homes scowling away at nothing like big rag dolls just cursing at the walls and pulling out all of their stuffing every day is a door leading back to the core yes, old age will distill you and if you're this this this full of bitterness now some day it will just fill you when you sit right down in the middle of yourself you're gonna wanna have a comfortable chair so renovate your soul before you get too old cuz you'r egonna be housebound there when you're old you fold up like an envelope and you mail yourself right inside and there's nowhere to go except out real slow are you ready, boy, for that ride? your arrogance is gaining on you and so is eternity you better practice happiness you better practice humility you took the air, you took the time you were fed and you were free now you'd better put some beauty back while you got the energy you'd better put some beauty back, boy while you got the energy |
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| 39. |
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back back back in the back of your mind
are you learning an angry language, tell me boy boy boy are you tending to your joy or are you just letting it vanquish back back back in the dark of your mind where the eyes of your demons are gleamin are you mad mad mad about the life you never had even when you are dreaming. who are these old old people in these nursing homes scowling away at nothing like big rag dolls just cursing at the walls and pulling out all of their stuffing every day is a door leading back to the core yes, old age will distill you and if you're this this this full of bitterness now some day it will just fill you when you sit right down in the middle of yourself you're gonna wanna have a comfortable chair so renovate your soul before you get too old cuz you'r egonna be housebound there when you're old you fold up like an envelope and you mail yourself right inside and there's nowhere to go except out real slow are you ready, boy, for that ride? your arrogance is gaining on you and so is eternity you better practice happiness you better practice humility you took the air, you took the time you were fed and you were free now you'd better put some beauty back while you got the energy you'd better put some beauty back, boy while you got the energy |
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| 40. |
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the answer came
like a shot in the back while you were running from your lesson which might explain why years later all you could remember was the terror of the question plus, you weren't listening you were stockpiling canned goods making a bomb shelter of our basement and i can't believe you let the moral go by while you were soaking in the product placement where was your conscience? where was your consciousness? and where did you put all those letters that you wrote to yourself but could not address? i'm a good kisser and you're a fast learner and that kinda thing could float us for a pretty long time then one day you'd realize you've memorized my phone number and you'll call it and find it's a disconnected line cuz i got tossed out the window of love's el camino and i shattered into a shower of sparks on the curb you were smoking me weren't you? between your yellow fingers you just inhaled and exhaled without saying a word where was your conscience? where was your consciousness? and where did you put all those letters that you wrote to yourself but could not address? there's a smorgasbord of unspoken poisons a whole childhood of potions that are all bottled up and so one by one i am dusting off labels i am uncorking bottles and filling up cups so go ahead and have a taste of your own medicine and i'll have a taste of mine but first let's toast to the lists that we hold in our fists of the things that we promise to do differently next time cuz the answer came like a shot in the back while you were running from your lesson which might explain why years later all you could remember was the terror of the question plus i'm not listening to you anymore my head is too sore and my heart's perforated and i'm mired in the marrow of my (well... ain't that) funny bone learning how to be alone and devastated where was my conscience? where was my consciousness? and what do i do with all these letters that i wrote to myself but cannot address? |
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| 41. |
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Note: This is a poem in the booklet of Educated Guess, but it is not read on the CD.
a girl with the sun of her youth at her back and the shadow of her womanhood before her on the stones is approaching with a delicate clip clop clack her sandals full of toes that i suppose are headed home it's early in the evening and up and down the river people begin to gather pearls of laughter on a strand i thought solitude would save me it was pious it was grand but the monk that walked beside me just let go of my hand |
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| 42. |
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i walk in stride with people
much taller than me and partly it's the boots but mostly it's my chi and i'm becoming transfixed with nature and my part in it which i believe just signifies i'm finally waking up and there's this moth outside my kitchen door she's bonkers for that bare bulb flying round in circles bashing in her exoskull and out in the woods she navigates fine by the moon but get her around a light bulb and she's doomed she is trying to evolve she's just trying to evolve now let's get talking reefer madness like some arrogant government can't by any stretch of the imagination outlaw a plant! yes, their supposed authority over nature is a dream c'mon people we've got to come clean cuz they are locking our sons and our daughters in cages they are taking by the thousands our lives from under us it's a crash crash course in religious fundamentals now let's all go to war get some bang for our buck yes i am trying to evolve i'm trying to evolve i am trying to evolve i'm trying to evolve gunnin for high score in the land of dreams morbid bluish-white consumers ogling luminous screens on the trail of forgetting cruising without a care the jet set won't abide by that pesky jet lag and our lives boil down to an hour or two when someone pulls a camera out of a bag and i am trying to evolve trying to evolve i'm trying to evolve trying to evolve so i walk like i'm on a mission cuz that's the way i groove i got more and more to do i got less and less to prove it took me too long to realize that i don't take good pictures cuz i have the kind of beauty that moves i am trying to evolve i'm trying to evolve i am trying to evolve i'm trying to evolve.... |
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| 43. |
| - |
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| 44. |
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in a coffee shop in a city
which is every coffee shop in every city on a day which is every day i picked up a magazine which is every magazine read a story then i forgot it right away and they say goldfish have no memory i guess their lives are much like mine and the little plastic castle is a surprise every time and it's hard to say if they're happy but they don't seem much to mind from the shape of your shaved head i recognized your silhouette as you walked out of the sun and sat down and the sight of your sleepy smile eclipsed all the other people as they paused to sneer at the two girls from out of town and i said, "look at you this morning you are by far the cutest but be careful getting coffee i think these people want to shoot us or maybe there's some kind of local competition here to see who can be the rudest" people talk about my image like i come in two dimensions like lipstick is a sign of my decling mind like what i happen to be wearing the day that someone takes a picture is my new statement for all womankind and i wish they could see us now in leather bras and rubber shorts like some ridiculous new team uniform for some ridiculous new sport quick someone call the girl police and file a report in a coffee shop in a city which is every coffee shop in every city on a day which is every day |
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| 45. |
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you keep telling me i'm beautiful
but i feel a little less each time your love is so colorful it flashes like a neon sign but i finally drove out where the sky is dark enuf to see stars and i found i missed no one just listening to the swishing of distant cars i hope i never see the ocean again pushing and pulling at me as i go deeper and deeper in til i'm so far from my shore so far from what i came here for i let you surround me i let you drown me out with your din and then i learned how to swim i was floating above myself watching her do just what you wanted poor little friendly ghost wondering why her whole house feels haunted i told myself i was strong enuf that i had plenty of blood to give and each elbow cradled a needle but listless and faint ain't no way to live so i hope i never see the ocean again pushing and pulling at me as i go deeper and deeper in til i'm so far from my shore so far from what i came here for i let you surround me i let you drown me out with your din and then i learned how to swim and you keep telling me i'm beautiful but i feel less and less so each time your love is so colorful it flashes like a neon sign but i finally drove out where the sky is dark enuf to see the stars and i found i missed no one just listening to the swishing of distant cars |
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| 46. |
| - |
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some crazy fucker carved a sculpture out of butter
and propped it up in the middle of the bonanza breakfast bar and i am stuffing toast and sausage into my pockets under a sign that says grand opening while my dog is waiting in the car i wake up, i check out i fill the tank and wash the windshield clean then i'm back out on the highway and BANG that's when i remember my dream: we were standing in a garden and i had a machine that made silence it just sucked up the whole opinionated din and there were no people on the payroll and there were no monkeys on our backs and i said, show me what you look like without skin science chases money and money chases its tail and the best minds of my generation can't make bail but the bacteria are coming to take us down that's my prediction it's the answer to this culture of the quick fix prescription but in the garden of simple where all of us are nameless you were never anything but beautiful to me and, you know, they never really owned you you just carried them around and then one day you put 'em down and found your hands were free so now it's early in the morning at the longitude of memphis and the sun is setting sweetly on hong kong and the big plan is just to keep spinning cuz the big bang is only just beginning and sometimes it's all that we can do just to hang on and what i meant to say is xxoo which means i'm thinking of ya which means i've been thinking of you all along |
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| 47. |
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I cannot name this
I cannot explain this And I really don't want to Just call me shameless I can't even slow this down Let alone stop this And I keep looking around But I cannot top this If I had any sense I guess I'd fear this I guess I'd keep it down So no one would hear this I guess I'd shut my mouth And rethink for a minute But I can't shut it now 'cuz there's something in it We're in a room without a door And I am sure without a doubt They're gonna wanna know How we got in here And they're gonna wanna know How we plan to get out We better have a good explanation For all the fun that we had 'cuz they are coming for us, babe And they are going to be mad Yeah they're going to be mad at us This is my skeleton This is the skin it's in That is according to light And gravity I'll take off my disguise The mask you met me in 'cuz I got something For you to see Just gimme your skeleton Give me the skin it's in Yeah baby, this is you According to me I never avert my eyes I never compromise So never, never mind The poetry We're in a room without a door And I am sure without a doubt They're gonna wanna know How we got in here And they're gonna wanna know How we plan to get out We better have a good explanation For all the fun that we had 'cuz they are coming for us, babe And they are going to be mad Yeah they're going to be mad at us I gotta cover my butt 'cuz I covet Another man's wife I gotta divide my emotions Into wrong and right Then I get to see how close I can get to it Without giving in Then I get to rub up against it Till I break the skin Yeah I got to rub up against it Till I break the skin They're gonna be mad at us They're gonna be mad at me and you They're gonna be mad at us And all the things we wanna do They're gonna be mad at us They're gonna be mad at me and you They're gonna be mad at us And all the things we wanna do Just please don't name this Please don't explain this Just blame it all on me Say I was shameless Say I couldn't slow it down Let alone stop it And say you just hung around 'cuz you couldn't top it |
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| 48. |
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i heard the sound of your bike,
as your wheels hit the gravel, then your engine in the driveway cutting off and i pushed through the screen door and i stood out on the porch thinking fight, fight, fight at all costs, but instead i let you in, just like i've always done and i sat you down and offered you a beer and across the kitchen table i fired several rounds, but you were still sitting there when the smoke cleared. and you came crawling back to say that you wanna make good in the end and oh, oh, let me count the ways that i abhor you, and you were never a good lay and you were never a good friend but, oh, oh, what else can i say... i adore you all i need is my leather, one t-shirt and two socks, i'll keep my hands warm in your pockets and you can use the engine block, and we'll ride out to california with my arms around your chest, and i'll pretend that this is real 'cuz this is what i like best, and you've been juggling two women like a stupid circus clown telling us both we are the one and maybe you can keep me from ever being happy, but you're not gonna stop me from having fun. so let's go before i change my mind i'll leave the luggage of all your lies behind 'cuz i am bigger than everything that came before and you were never very kind, and you let me way down every time but oh, oh, oh what can i say... i adore you i heard the sound of your bike, as your wheels hit the gravel, then your engine in the driveway cutting off |
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