| Disc 1 | ||||||
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| 1. |
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Can't explain all the feelings that you're making me feel
My heart's in overdrive and you're behind the steering wheel Touching you, touching me, Touching you God you're touching me I believe in a thing called love Just listen to the rhythm of my heart There's a chance we could make it now We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down I believe in a thing called love Ooh! I wanna kiss you every minute, every hour, every day You got me in a spin but everything is A OK! Touching you, touching me Touching you cause you're touching me I believe in a thing called love Just listen to the rhythm of my heart There's a chance we could make it now We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down I believe in a thing called love Ooh! Guitar! Touching you, touching me Touching you god you're touching me I believe in a thing called love Just listen to the rhythm of my heart There's a chance we could make it now We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down I believe in a thing called love Ooh! |
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| 2. |
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*snorting*
It was a dusty old night And I'm the first to admit it I'm sure I upset someone But my memory has chosen to omit it A tiny voice was telling me I really should cool it Chewing my face off Talking absolute rubbish The first line hit me like a kick in the face Thought I better have another one just in case Next thing I knew my heart was under attack Bought a one way ticket to hell....And Back One way ticket to hell and back Bought a one way ticket to hell and back One way ticket to hell and back Bought a one way ticket to hell and back I've always tried to keep my vices under wraps But a coach load of mutes would appear talkative chaps They seemed fit to join me for a couple of hits But now my septum is in tatters And I've still got the runs It burned for a moment then it kicked like a mule The strangers all agreed that it was rocket fuel Several lines are chocking like a glorious game Bought a one way ticket to hell...And back! One way ticket to hell and back Bought a one way ticket to hell and back One way ticket to hell and back Bought a one way ticket to hell and back (Sitar/effects) Stick it up your fucking nose! Woohoo! (Solo) Holy coke, repeating myself, except I'm getting slightly louder Pausing just long enough to snort that white powder Wheels came off but I'm still on track Bought a one way ticket to hell...And back! One way ticket to hell and back(yeah) Bought a one way ticket to hell and back(ooh yeah) One way ticket to hell and back, Bought a one way ticket to hell (oooh yeaah) One way ticket to hell and back(woo!) Bought a one way ticket to hell and back One way ticket to hell and back, Bought a one way ticket to hell... |
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| 3. |
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Oh, the first flush of youth was upon you when our eyes first met
And I knew that to you and into your life I had to get Oh, I felt light-headed at the touch of this stranger's hand An assault my defences systematically failed to withstand 'Cause you came at a time When the pursuit of one true love in which to fall Was the be-all and end-all Love is only a feeling (drifting away) When I'm in your arms I start believing (it's here to stay) But love is only a feeling, anyway Oh, the state of elation that this unison of hearts achieved I had seen, I had touched, I had tasted and I truly believed That the light of my life would tear a hole right through each cloud that scudded by Just to beam on you and I Love is only a feeling (drifting away) When I'm in your arms I start believing (it's here to stay) But love is only a feeling, anyway Anyway Love is only a feeling (drifting away) And we got to stop ourselves believing (it's here to stay) 'Cause love is only a feeling, anyway |
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| 4. |
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i know that absence might
make the heart grow fonder or is it 'out of sight' out of mind' i wonder and do you yearn for me when the nights grow cold 'til death us do part to have and to hold i wanna give you my love, my love, my love but is it just me or am i all on my own again? you're up at John O Groats, I'm down in Land's End On you I depend I see your face when i close my eyes and there ain't no place like between your thighs don't want a life alone all by myself to honor and trust in sickness and health i wanna give you my love, my love, my love but is it just me or am i all on my own again? you're in the Taj Mahal, I'm outside Big Ben it's driving me round the bend forever and ever and ever, amen i wanna give you my love, my love, my love but is it just me or am i all on my own again (x 2) you're in the Vatican, I'm in the Yemen and it feels like the end the end |
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| 5. |
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I can't get rid of you
I don't know what to do I don't even know who is growing on who Yeah, yeah 'Cause everywhere I go, you're there I can't get you out of my hair I can't pretend that I don't care It's not fair I'm being punished for all my offences I want to touch you but I'm afraid if the consequences I want to banish you from whence you came But you're part of me now and I've only got myself to blame You're really growing on me (or am I growing on you) You're really growing on me (or am I growing on you) Any fool can see Sleeping in an empty bed I can't get you off my head And I won't have a life until you're dead Yeah, you heard what I said I wanna shake you off but you just won't go And you're all over me but I don't want anyone to know That you're attached to me, that's how you've grown Won't you leave me, leave me alone You're really growing on me (or am I growing on you) You're really growing on me (or am I growing on you) Any fool can see You're really growing on me (or am I growing on you) You're really growing on me (or am I growing on you) |
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| 6. |
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Girl, I know I've got a funny way
Of showing it Yes, I thought our love was here to stay and blowing it Was never on my agenda She meant nothing to me, I meant nothing to her And now i realise it's over I've just got to tell yer Girlfriend, I love you, I love you, I love you so much I love you, I love you, I love you so much I love you, I love you, I love you so much so much Girl I know I ripped your heart right out so why pretend that there is even a shadow of doubt that it's the end Why the hell are we breaking our necks Where there's absolutely no affection, hardly any sex To simplify something that extremely complex You were my girlfriend, now you're my ex... Girlfriend, I love you, I love you, I love you so much I love you, I love you, I love you so much I love you, I love you, I love you so much so much Listen to my synthesizer Girlfriend, I love you, I love you, I love you so much I love you, I love you, I love you so much I love you, I love you, I love you so much so much Girlfriend, I love you, I love you, I love you so much I love you, I love you, I love you so much I love you, I love you, I love you so much so much |
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| 7. |
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You are drunk and you are surely
In Latino lover mode We all know what's on your agenda We've broken the code I've got no right to lay claim to her frame She's not my possession You cunt Get your hands off my woman, motherfucker Get your hands off my woman, motherfucker Octoped you've got six hands too many And you can't keep them to yourself You're too fat and too old to marry So they left you on the shelf I've got no right to lay claim to her frame But you soiled my obsession You cunt Get your hands off my woman, motherfucker Get your hands off my woman, motherfucker Get your hands off my woman, motherfucker Get your hands off my woman, motherfucker Ow! Get your hands off my woman, motherfucker Get your hands off my woman, motherfucker |
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| 8. |
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In a town in the east
The parishioners were visited upon by a curious beast And his eyes numbered but one and shone like the sun And a glance beckoned the immediate loss of a cherished one It was the coming of the (Black Shuck) Black Shuck (Black Shuck) Black Shuck (Black Shuck) That dog don't give a fuck Black Shuck (Black Shuck) Black Shuck (Black Shuck) Black Shuck (Black Shuck) That dog don't give a fuck Flames licked 'round the sacred spire And the congregation's last line of defence was engulfed in fire As the flaming priest stepped into the firing line On the business end of a beam of despair, God, he took his own life During the coming of the (Black Shuck) Black Shuck (Black Shuck) Black Shuck (Black Shuck) That dog don't give a fuck Black Shuck (Black Shuck) Black Shuck (Black Shuck) Black Shuck (Black Shuck) That dog don't gove a fuck A nimbus of blue light surrounds a crimson paw As he takes another fatal swipe At the Blytheburgh Church Door (Black Shuck) Black Shuck (Black Shuck) Black Shuck (Black Shuck) That dog don't give a fuck Black Shuck (Black Shuck) Black Shuck (Black Shuck) Black Shuck (Black Shuck) That dog don't give a fuck (Black Shuck) Black Shuck (Black Shuck) Black Shuck (Black Shuck) That dog don't give a fuck Black Shuck (Black Shuck) Black Shuck (Black Shuck) Black Shuck (Black Shuck) That dog don't give a fuck Woof! |
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| 9. |
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My mamma wants to know
Where I'm spending all my dough Honey, all she does is nag, nag, nag But I won't apologise I'd inject into my eyes If there was nowhere else to stick my skag All I want is brown And I'm going into town Shooting up as soon as I'm back My friends have got some good shit All I want is some of it Gimme, gimme, gimme that smack Well I've ruined nearly all of my veins Sticking that fucking shit into my arms Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Givin' up, givin' up givin' a fuck Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Givin' up, givin' up givin' a fuck Getting off my face There's a dragon I must chase Honey, I'm the scourge of all mankind And everyone but me Is destined just to be Slaves to the remorseless grind But I found myself an easy way out Sticking that fucking shit into my arms Into my arms Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Givin' up, givin' up givin' a fuck Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Givin' up, givin' up givin' a fuck Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Givin' up, givin' up givin' a fuck Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Givin' up, givin' up givin' a fuck Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Givin' up, givin' up givin' a fuck Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Givin' up, givin' up givin' a fuck |
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| 10. |
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Kiss my arse, kiss my arse goodbye
Propelled by a carriage of aluminium am I No more to rot in this sty Turn my back on this shit-hole in the blink of an eye Gimme the keys You ain't gonna see me for dust The Barnby Bends ain't gonna get the better of me Gimme the keys To any old bucket of rust The acle Straights are gonna take me where I wanna be Stuck in a rut Stuck in a rut for eternity Stuck in a rut Stuck in a rut for eternity The road is long and the lights are bright Just 'cos you've lived here all your life doesn't make it alright And the golden mile is paved with shite Don't mind telling you I'm sick of walking up and down it every single fucking night Gimme the keys You ain't gonna see me for dust The Barnby Bends ain't gonna get the better of me Gimme the keys To any old bucket of rust The acle Straights are gonna take me where I wanna be Stuck in a rut Stuck in a rut for eternity Stuck in a rut Stuck in a rut for eternity Stuck in a rut Stuck in a rut for eternity Stuck in a rut Stuck in a rut for eternity |
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| 11. |
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Hey you, do you remember me
I used to sit next to you at school We indulged in all the extra-curricular activities We weren't particularly cool Monday cycling Tuesday gymnastics Dancing on a Friday night I got Bridge Club on Wednesday Archery on Thursday Dancing on a Friday night Hey you, could you ever fall for me Oh, the way I fell for you And do you dwell upon the thoughts that I occupy Or do you give yourself things to do Oh, Monday rowing Tuesday badminton Dancing on a Friday night I got ping pong Wednesday Needlework on Thursday Dancing on a Friday night With you, with you Monday, Tuesday Wednesday, Thursday Dancing on a Friday night Let the music smother me Whole weekend recovery Dancing on a Friday night Oh, see the lady I adore Dancing on the dancing floor Dancing on a Friday night God, the way she moves moves me To write bad poetry Dancing on a Friday night |
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| 12. |
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You cant abide my showing fatigue
When you come home just to relay All the events that made your heart bleed And the ones that ruined your day We're not as close As everybody thinks In the eye of the storm We keep each other warm Love on the rocks You'd do anything for a quiet life Love on the rocks Love on the rocks with no ice Love on the rocks You'd do anything for a quiet life Love on the rocks Love on the rocks with no ice So many issues we should address 'Cos our lives just dont correlate All the emotions that we suppress Bite our tongues until it's too late We're not as close As we always used to be - you and me In the eye of the storm We keep each other warm Love on the rocks You'd do anything for a quiet life Love on the rocks Love on the rocks with no ice Love on the rocks You'd do anything for a quiet life Love on the rocks Love on the rocks with no ice Love on the rocks You'd do anything for a quiet life Love on the rocks Love on the rocks with no ice Love on the rocks You'd do anything for a quiet life Love on the rocks Love on the rocks with no ice Love on the rocks with no ice |
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| 13. |
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Baby, everything has fallen into place
My life is so exciting now I've got my space Like a splash of water on my face Lately I'm doing what I can to pleasure me I'm finding time to focus on my fantasies I'm satisfied in my own company I don't need your permission To take this matter in my own two hands 'Cos i'm holding my own Give or take a tear or two I'm holding my own No matter what I put myself through Lady, all we seem to do is talk about We take apart and analyse our ins and outs Honey, i would rather do without No-one to answer to I won't spend another lifetime begging you 'Cos i'm holding my own Give or take a tear or two I'm holding my own No matter what I put myself through I'm holding my own There's a spring in my stride There's a twinkle in my dying eyes 'Cos i'm holding my own Give or take a tear or two I'm holding my own No matter what I put myself through |
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Oh lord, I'm so bored
Living on my own You're devilish and dirty They say your pushing thirty Well pushing thirty stone Oh Christ, I'm enticed I want you in my sack Your potty mouth is pushy You're anything but classy I've just got to get you back It's been a while, Since I've seen that smile Is the old magic still there? (CHORUS) I just love what you've done with your hair...oh yeah! I just love what you've done with your hair...oh yeah! Oh! Oh crumbs, I'm all thumbs Lying here with you You're beautiful and busty But I'm a little rusty I've forgotten what to do It's been a while Since I made you smile Is the old magic still there? (CHORUS) I just love what you've done with your hair...oh yeah! I just love what you've done with your hair...oh yeah! Oh yeah! (PIANO & GUITAR SOLOS) I love what you've done with your hair...oh yeah! I really love what you've done with your hair...oh yeah! I love what you've done with your hair...oh yeah! I really love what you've done with your hair...oh yeah! |
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| 15. |
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We had a good thing, it was a blast
That was a long time in the past You went through changes & I walked away And I have regretted that to this day I may not always have quite so much hair But what you saw in me will hopefully always be there I'll never hurt you again, I swear. Chorus So put your arrrrrms around me, your dinner lady arms Put your arrrrrms around me, your dinner lady arms I couldn't figure out where your figure'd gone I thought that I could live without you, baby I was so wrong Put your arrrrrms around me, your dinner lady arms dinner lady arms Forgive and forget I caused you some pain And find it in your heart to start again Now I may not ever be your Mister Right But I'm happy to be your mister that will do for tonight I'll never let you out of my sight So put your arrrrrms around me, your dinner lady arms Put your arrrrrms around me, your dinner lady arms I couldn't figure out where your figure'd gone I thought that I could live without you, baby I was so wrong Put your arrrrrms around me, your dinner lady arms Solo I may be light-years past on my sell-by date But there's life in the old dog yet, honey, it's not too late Put your arrrrrms around me, your dinner lady arms |
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| 16. |
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We may not get back what we had, what I threw away
But you know I would do anything, anything to say I'd cross a thousand miles of broken glass on my hands and knees I would crawl if for a moment we could cease hostilities But it seemed like such a good idea at the time, such a very very good idea at the time. I don't know where I am, I don't know where I went wrong either way let's start again I don't know where I am, I don't know where I went wrong I don't know where to start again Now our dream is over, believe me I'm all down You always seem to come alive when I am not around But it seemed like such a good idea at the time, such a very very good idea at the time. I don't know where I am, I don't know where I went wrong either way let's start again I don't know where I am, I don't know where I went wrong I don't know where to start again (Solo) But it seemed like such a good idea at the time, such a very very good idea at the time. I don't know where I am, I don't know where I went wrong either way let's start again I don't know where I am, I don't know where I went wrong I don't know where to start... again |
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| 17. |
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I hail from the flatlands of East Anglia
A town that once could boast prosperity She had trekked for many moons from a land afar But the cruel nets had emptied the northen sea And she said "hoots, I cannae get back tae me hoos in bonny Scotland" Girl with the hazel eyes - Aaaaah! Girl with the hazel eyes - Aaaaah! The elements had taken their toll on her Her face was weather beaten and her hair greasy I had never seen a set of eyes more hazelerer And a tear did fall as she looked up at me And she said "hoots, I cannae get back tae me hoos in bonny Scotland" Girl with the hazel eyes - Aaaaah! Girl with the hazel eyes - Aaaaah! I shall travel with thee For to see your folks in Scotland With their blessing, on one knee I shall ask for your left hand Girl with the hazel eyes - Aaaaah! (x4) I shall travel with thee For to see your folks in Scotland With their blessing, on one knee I shall ask for your left hand |
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| 18. |
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It would appear that male pattern
baldness has set in. His hair at an alarming pace, running away from his face. He's losing his virility and now his masculinity has been compromised and his libido down-sized. Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh. Not for me, not for me. Heaven forbid! It's not for me, you understand. Bald, slap-headed and hairless. Bald, he is destined to be. Bald, well tonight thank God, Thank God it's them not me. From what I have been reading his scalp needs kneading to stimulate each folicle and reverse this diabolical condition that's afflicted he for years and has cruelly repulsed each potential mate and left him with a balding pate. Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh. Not for me, not for me. Heaven forbid! It's not for me, you understand. Bald, slap-headed and hairless. Bald, he is destined to be. Bald, well tonight thank God, Thank God it's them not me. Sock it to me baby yeah! Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh. Not for me, not for me. Heaven forbid! It's not for me, you understand. Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh. Not for me, not for me. Heaven forbid! It's not for me, you understand. Bald, slap-headed and hairless. Bald, he is destined to be. Bald, well tonight thank God, Thank God it's them not me. Thank God! Bald, slap-headed and hairless. Bald, he is destined to be. Bald, well tonight thank God, Thank God it's them not me. Oh! |
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| 19. |
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It was a cigarette break and I was des...perate
I saw her pushing that wheelbarrow She said have you got a match, I said yes My cock and Farmer Giles' prizewinning marrow Frolicking in the summer fields were we I fell for you and you grew to like me I carved U for me in the bark of a tree In an English Country Garden We rolled around kissing on the ground In an English Country Garden You succumbed to my charms, fell asleep in my arms In an English Country Garden Beneath the stars above I fell in love In a English Country Garden Jardin Jardin Jardin Jardin They did a quiz at the village fete and we came last Everybody laughed at the two of us But I've never seen bale of hay move so fast She was a bone fide forking genius Frolicking in the autumn fields were we I cherished you and you tolerated me We mucked about while we were mucking out In an English Country Garden You took me under your wing when we had our fling In an English Country Garden You gave my heart a boost, we ruled the roost In an English Country Garden Just as I got broody you got moody In an English Country Garden Pulled out all the stops, harvested the crops In an English Country Garden The yield was meager, you were far less eager In an English Country Garden The seeds we scattered never really mattered In a English Country Garden I saw you leave the farm on another guy's arm In a English Country Garden. Jardin Jardin Jardin Jardin woooh! |
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| 20. |
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Tell me why the blind man cries
Oh, he sheds a tear because he just can't hear the children singing How he used to fantasize Of standing next to some children who are doing singing Ah! Amd the shoulders get colder and colder And his tears And his tears fall on deaf ears Ooh! Falling apart At the seams and no-one seems to care You can't cry forever Eileen wouldn't want you to, I swear Now he's just an empty shell Oh, since Eileen died the other side seems so appealing Compared to this living hell Oh, she haunts his sleep, his wounds too deep for any healing Ah! With his arteries starting to harden She is gone She is gone and it's all wrong Falling apart At the seams and no-one seems to care You can't cry forever Eileen would want you to, I swear So there. |
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| 21. |
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Feigning joy and surprise
at the gifts we despise over Mulled wine With you. On the 25th day, Of the 12th month the sleigh bells of intro, Ring true How we cling each noel to that snowflake hope in hell that it would end! Don't let the bells end Christmas time Just let them ring in peace. When the weather is cruel And the season of Yule warms the heart But it still hurts You've got your career Spend the best part of life stood apart and it still hurts So that's why I pray each and every Christmas day, That it would end Don't let the bells end Christmas time Just let them ring in peace (Christmas time) (Don't let the bells end) (Christmas time) (Don't let the bells end) I'm stood beneath the mistletoe leaf And you're not here If you're still away boxing day So how the hell am I going to make it until the New Years Christmas time Don't let the bells end (Don't let it end) Christmas time Don't let the bells end Christmas time Don't let the bells end Christmas time Don't let the bells end (just let them ring in peace) Christmas time (c'mon kids) Don't let the bells end (bells end) Christmas time (ARGH!) Don't let the bells end |
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