| Disc 1 | ||||||
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| 1. |
| 6:40 | 
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It's always darkest before it goes
Completely black I'm older now so I should know You never can look back But the scars of childhood memories Dominate my head The inner pain I've vowed to keep Until the day I'm dead You can't see, the life I was forced to lead What it's like to die daily You can't feel, the thoughts I've learned to steal Survival is my reality When I was young I lived in fear The hands of doom forever drawing near I wonder how I learned to persevere As time advanced deceit was my life's truth Spurred on by the peace I never knew Time does not heal The scars that burned me in my youth Time does not heal The pain that carved in me the truth Time does not heal The torture struck upon my past Time does not heal The scars that were left and meant to last Over the many years I've tried To bury deep my past Attempting to cope with what's inside My wastelands of regret But defeated before I began To join the human race Indelibly I've felt the brand Of scars I can't erase I was the fool, subversive and overrulled Into my abyss I was pulled The ways of hate, constantly agitate The scars as they'd eviscerate Inside my head desolation forms Shadows grasping my mind through its storm I couldn't see that I was being forewarned That anguish was to take my life's controls And rake it's wounds forever into my soul Time does not heal The scars that burned me in my youth Time does not heal The pain that carved in me the truth Time does not heal The torture struck upon my past Time does not heal The scars that were left and meant to last I have learned to live alone, it's meant to be Endless lies and emptiness fulfilling me Life's there to decieve the truth you'll never see Understand that I am dying to be free Images have haunted me since I was young Chilling were the arms of fear I was among What were once just nightmares now have since become Real atrocities which I can't escape from... It's always darkest before it goes Completely black I've realized now that it's impossible Surviving their attack Through duress I'm borne, a past that's brought me scorn And when I'm dead, will I be mourned? The scars I've worn, the mental flesh I've shredded and torn Time does not heal The scars that burned me in my youth Time does not heal The pain that carved in me the truth Time does not heal The torture struck upon my past Time does not heal The scars that were left and meant to last |
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| 2. |
| 7:44 | 
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| 3. |
| 6:10 |
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Emotions are easily spent, twisted and forever bent.
When fixations are not returned the lines are so quickly obscured. When I am haunted by your vision, I will cause you pain. At me you spit your derision, you are my obsession. You are repelled by my existence, but you will soon be trained. My sins atoned for in silence, an act of contrition. Held before my eyes though distant enough to be seen, If I were to pull it too close, I'd blur it to its full extreme. I'm barren of anything else, A lunatic's need to possess you. When I am haunted by your vision, I will cause you pain. At me you spit your derision, you are my obsession. You are repelled by my existence, but you will soon be trained. My sins atoned for in silence, an act of contrition. Rational thought Has vanished and fled for its life. The one goal after which I've sought It's upon your fear that I thrive. When written words are now legible, The story can be told. But when they're thrust too close to my eyes, They become a blindfold. And it's then reality, Fades into obscurity. Then I find that my mania is out of control. I tighten the grip on my obsession, but I can't be consoled. Now it's made me dangerous To all but you I'm oblivious. Distortions, perverse and unfair, you're threatened as I dominate. You need me, so why are you scared? From my grasp there is no escape. Don't you ever think of leaving me. You are mine until I set you free. The pain you feel is of no consequence. Many suffer, few survive... I'm not one with whom to be toyed, your mind easily I'll destroy. Enforcing my supremacy, accept me, I'm your destiny. When I am haunted by your vision, I will cause you pain. At me you spit your derision, you are my obsession. You are repelled by my existence, but you will soon be trained. My sins atoned for in silence, an act of contrition. |
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| 4. |
| 7:15 |
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History's shown you that answers can't be found above.
Life's great questions are tackled only by us. Knowledge of mysteries that puzzle your learned men of the cloth. We've explanations that men of God can't fathom. Searching for your destiny In a book that's not reality. We solve the the Earth's problems Through our science and technology. Look back one thousand years when science was in its infancy. The church had the word, the world was forced to heed. How many times they led astray, their flock was shown no mercy. "It's God's will", not good enough, minds were closed ignorantly. We are here to shed the light, And your "Savior" is powerless to fight. You must realize that your theology is wrong And we are right. Accept it for it's proven, And the truth is for all to see. Scientifically we'll answer any question there could be. Obviously you don't see that we've become your deities. Can't you see that we are your new priesthood? Blinded by your piety and impotent divinity, Recoginize that we are your new priesthood! Religious dogma that's confused and shackled you. Searching through the good book not knowing what's the truth. You're only innocent, raised servile and unaware. Unconversant to what is really out there. Humanity must be erudite but not only from books should it gain insight. Through practice of sound philosophy comes cognizance of Man's own plight. This you won't find in your church or your faith, Though science has always attempted to explicate. Obviously you don't see that we've become your deities. Can't you see that we are your new priesthood? Blinded by your piety and impotent divinity, Recoginize that we are your new priesthood! Intelligence is lacking in your realm. That is why we've come to take the helm. As you have seen, you cannot turn to God for the solution. Mankind has thrust himself into a sick position, lack of vision. To those who blanket and surround themselves with gullibility, There will be severity. Yet again we will achieve the answers because we are more than God. As you kneel and pray, Genuflect our way. Try and feel your way Without our guidance someday. History's shown you that answers can't be found above. Life's great questions are tackled only by us. Knowledge of mysteries that puzzle your learned men of the cloth. We've explanations that men of God can't fathom. Searching for your destiny In a book that's not reality. We have solved the the Earth's problems Through our science and technology. We see the things that you can't find in your faith. We are in command with men like Hawking leading the way. Obviously you don't see that we've become your deities. Can't you see that we are your new priesthood? Blinded by your piety and impotent divinity, Recoginize that we are your new priesthood! |
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| 5. |
| 8:56 |
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A shadow, I prowl these decadent streets,
Perversion, degradation my soulmates. An observer, I'm admist the innocent weak, My fascinations are salacious and unchaste. This netherworld of carnality is my existance, I don't walk alone, for this is my home, And my subsistence. I silently drift through these darkened paths, I'm a witness to human psyche in decay. There's nothing here but burnt-out bodies and souls, A breeding ground for the depraved. I've plunged beyond the sickest depths of pruriency, What is normal to me is far beneath what is seen as mere "obscenity". Can you feel the pain Of these souls deranged? Can you feel the pain I have lived inside These pathetic minds And it's menacing Psychosis And lust is So dangerous Sexuality At its most diseased Has enslaved us... I wish I could give you severe details, But now's not the time nor the place. I've sojourned through the vilest combat zones, And been invovled in acts that are debased. Virtuous lives are crushed in this malevolent den of thieves, There's no escape from the abduction and rape of virginity. Scenic nightmares of brutal self-indulgence, Nothing is sacred, especially life. I completely share my amorality, With the hookers and the hustlers that stalk the night. Shocking, disgusting displays of human indignities, Anything can be achieced in sexual iniquities. Can you feel the pain Of these souls deranged? Can you feel the pain I have lived inside These pathetic minds And it's menacing Psychosis And lust is So dangerous Sexuality At its most diseased Has enslaved us... I've been seduced into this realm, Why? I cannot say... I've cleansed myself from all that's pure, I've now incurred disgrace. I can't put my finger on the attraction, I'm not an anomaly. In my domain of abomination, Psychosexualuty... I have a personal obsession with pain, Dealing, receiving, to me it's the same, It's a tragic game Excruciation that goes unrestrained, To others this pleasure may be insane, Or at the least profane Virgins forced to perform unspeakable deeds, Immaculate youth placed in impurity. The screams of pain, I have heard the screams Of quiet exits, but forced entry. Desperate souls of one accord, With their lives in this sordid world Women defiled for that vein-numbing fix, Bestiality, this is sick. Orifices committing disgust, Grotesque forays into macabre lusts. Why am I here? I've been drawn, In this shameless world I belong... Can you feel the pain Of these souls deranged? Can you feel the pain I have lived inside These pathetic minds And it's menacing Psychosis And lust is So dangerous Sexuality At its most diseased Has enslaved us... Men who pluck children from their families, Teaching a man's "rules" to this younger breed. To the black-market, parents sell their young under eight, Anything older out here is too late, Adolescence their fate... Snuff films with their discreet mutiliations, Anonymous fiends and confused, unwilling victims. Desecrating unblemished bodies and minds, Breaking and torturing, then ending their lives, I have watched them die... You've been given a glimpse of this pornographic scene, Some of it scares me, all of it excites me. This is my horrible, demented hell, Once you're trapped down here I wish you well. Why am I here? I've been drawn, But honestly, do I belong?... Can you feel the pain Of these souls deranged? Can you feel the pain I've been trapped inside These pathetic minds And it's menacing Psychosis And lust is So dangerous Sexuality At its most diseased Has enslaved us... |
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| 6. |
| 9:16 |
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Femininity, a sacred life
My goals and dreams achieved, or soon they might Unintruded being, innocent Young, with a hopeful future to be spent I can't believe my idiocy You came along with your invasion Your act of violence not of lust Upon me... Racing through these darkened streets at night Fleeing from this terror that haunts me I am chosen, this can't be right The pain that your thrust brings I don't want your flesh I'm not your whore But you want my blood I'm not a whore Trapped down here inside A nightmare that's become reality A heinous violation Of my humanity Right before my eyes I see my world Fractured so precise by one so cold Through your veins run ice, I beg of thee As I lie paralyzed please let me be From within your soul I stare I don't think I'll live to see this end You'll reign eternally through my nightmares If I ever sleep again The hatred directed at me 'cause of what I am Is as chilling as the defilement itself I wonder, what kind of beast is man? What emotions are and not felt? I don't want your flesh I'm not your whore But you want my blood I'm not a whore I can't even comprehend Why this act has come to be Proven time and time again The ultimate sadistic release This violent form of incarceration Trapped by savagery, helpless I lie I refuse this indoctrination Though you shatter this inner sanctum of mine An ancient inherited shame Bonding women and horror Outlasting the boundaries of time Enslaved forevermore Inherent crimes Through generations has become A terror cycle... You can't see me but you feel me You only want what you don't understand You can't have me so you take me Forever scarred where you've stamped your brand You look in my eyes and you tell me What do you see? Of this I'm deserving? You can't see me but you feel me You only want what you don't understand You can't have me so you take me Forever scarred where you've stamped your brand You need to crush me with your lividity Does this make you feel more like a man You can't have me, so you rape me My innocence strangled by your hand This must be necrophilia, for I am dead inside Your violent misogyny, your strength drowns my cries In shock, I'm crippled with disbelief This can't be happening to me Oh god, this hurts, I'm bleeding from friction Unconscious, I'm pleading to be... You cannot imagine the anger I feel Nor can you imagine the pain and despair This double jeopardy soon happens again When they scrape me for semen and hair My mind is frozen with your face intact This atrocity from which I haven't been spared From now on, I'll only know lovemaking through An act of intense terror The malevolence which pours over me You fill me with your rage It's mortifying, diabolical, Controlling through this stage I struggle to cope with what's happening I'm praying for my death I've done nothing wrong, I've been victimized So I'll pray for yours instead The physical torment inflicted on me Is insufferable but it doesn't compare To your terrible criminal mentality And the scars I'll forever bear To live through this brutal show of force Will cause me years of torment and grief Awaiting this misery to run its course As I scream out innocent pleas This violent form of incarceration Trapped by savagery, helpless I lie I refuse this indoctrination Though you shatter this inner sanctum of mine An ancient inherited shame Bonding women and horror Outlasting the boundaries of time Enslaved forevermore I will force myself to carry on And vengeance will be ultimately mine If you are not imprisoned soon By my hands you will die... I don't what your flesh I'm not your whore But you want my blood I'm not a whore Through rape you've created me A victim not above revenge A churning, seething mass of hate But you haven't conquered my soul |
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| 7. |
| 8:22 |
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Leading quiet lives of desperation, we maniacally cling to the unreal.
Life pursues its stranglehold, upon us, its pain revealed. We, as a race, are frail and weak, crises leave us paralyzed. We strain to deal with what's thrown at us, we're therefore traumatized. Really, I speak for no one but me, And I am losing my grasp. On that which I must call "myself", This burden might be my last. Stranded and sinking into remorse, The darkest recesses of my mind. The cavernous tyranny of pain and fear, Is lunacy far behind? I have dealt eternally with anguish, I have learned to live with my distress. From all this trauma comes profound catharsis, And a way to cope with my life's bitterness. Loneliness draped around my neck, in its sinister seduction. I pray a light will come from this, my frightened introspection. A lifetime of misery and its brethen, has depleted my reserves. And this has brought me the true conclusion, *nothing* is what I deserve. My early involvement in sordid acts, Has left me scarred for life. The road I have taken, self-doubt intact, Denigration is my wife. Am I a slave to the powers that be? Have I any inner strength? Fleeting struggles of humanity, I pontificate at length. I have dealt eternally with anguish, I have learned to live with my distress. From all this trauma comes profound catharsis, And a way to cope with my life's bitterness. As an outcast, I've become inner-dependent, trapped in a world of lies. But now I must question my own self-worth, that leaves me demoralized. Possessing fate of mental demons, Surrounds my soul in these masses of pain. Voices damning all of my thoughts, Self-infliction capacities retained. I'm not the only one in this world, Who's suffered through emotional discord. Intensities-caustic and penetrating, Is it me I've spent all my life hating? Thinking distorted emotions clouded, By my personal asceticsm. In condemnation I've been enshrouded, Acetylene baptism. I have dealt eternally with anguish, I have learned to live with my distress. From all this trauma comes profound catharsis, And a way to cope with my life's bitterness. I've expunged a multitude of, but sad to say, Not all my doubts and fears. But I look forward with trepidation, And step with caution into my remaining years. I am quite sure that in these words, There's not much hope that things will ever change. Maybe my time for suffering's past, And I can vaguely hope for brighter days. I have dealt eternally with anguish, I have learned to live with life's distress. From all this trauma came profound catharsis, And a way to cope with my life's bitterness. |
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| 8. |
| 7:36 |
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Potentially there's no safety
Inside these walls, I'm forced to be Unprotected to cruelty I'm not at my own mercy The most important time in my life Is governed by an unstable mind On another I depend My own life I can't defend Will I survive? To see the day arrive When I am cast forth And endangered nevermore Incarcerated and force-fed Your disparity a constant threat Are you qualified to reign? Is my destruction pre-ordained? I am not a parasite Will I be punished by your spite? I await my destiny And possibly your enmity Will I survive? To see the day arrive When I am cast forth And endangered nevermore Completely under your dominion I'm not here of my own volition, no Will I survive? To see the day arrive When I am cast forth And endangered nevermore I'm locked away, a nonentity Sacrificed by antipathy My pleas aren't heard So I'm tortured It's perilous in this domain And I'm dead if I remain I pray that you Don't cause my doom... Will I survive? To see the day arrive When I am cast forth And endangered nevermore |
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| 9. |
| 5:10 |
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The psychological impact of a film that we all love
It's negative imagery that preys upon our young How could we be so blind? Now we step inside conceptually a different view And uncover the horror that we're injecting into All our children's minds Born into a peasant monarchy A life of inherited luxury This newborn Prince with his silver spoon His life unfolds and will change soon His father, the King, is not ever around Never deigning to walk on his own son's ground A tragic young life spent in a broken home Looking forward to years of life alone Leading the life of hell His story, you know it well In death he'd finally be free Could this be what it seems to be? As this Prince enters his first few years A menagerie known as his friends appears Misfits one and all One, who lives to create turbulence Another, who straddles an androgynous fence And we're not sure where he'll fall Minute is his contact with the outside world Unhardened to the likely peril it holds Until one day, with his mother, the Queen He's thrust into a ghastly scene Like animals, with weapons they're pursued By men with butcherous attitudes His mother, the victem of the "Thrill Of The Chase" With a bullet, she loses this deathrace Leading the life of hell His story, you know it well In death he'd finally be free Could this be what it seems to be? Then his woman is forced into A precarious position and looks doomed Assaulted and raped by more than one Members of a gang that are on the hunt Add to this the destructiveness Of the fire that rages without rest Decimating his neighborhood Torching his land where his home once stood Brutal cinematic display, upon our children's minds it preys A subtle induction into horror, with implications we can't ignore Malevolence hidden behind doe-eyes, how many see through its disguise? Burning itself into the minds it haunts Is this really what we want? Leading the life of hell His story, you know it well In death he'd finally be free Could this be what it seems to be? |
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