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| 1. |
| 5:23 | 
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Used
'I am the unclean The black drop at the bottom of your cup You'd better drink or throw me up 'Cause I am on your lip and tongue God I'm not yours as much as you are mine So let me in to be your lung Just breathe me deep and take another sip So still A taste so sweet but so bitter the kill Still on your lip You are so close I'll let you come Between my legs you are closer death than sun And I'm not your daughter as much as you're my son I'll let you come In my mouth on your lip So ready and thirsty for the next sip You let me in, I let you come I'd never let you down You let me win, I let you drown!' Getting used to pain I am crying unwept tears through this violence I'll die trying to break this thick crust of silence 'I am the greatest star So bright that you all come forth and beg to taste my light I can take you far but I'll burn you out before we get there But hey! Who am I to stand in your way? Go ahead; swallow me down! I'll have no problems finding myself out When you've gone down When your all cracked and wound.' Getting used to pain.... .... I am crying unwept tears through this violence I'll die trying to break this thick crust of silence .. Trading pain is a bad deal I've got more than my share Too much to bear! Every beat of the hammer Every blood stricken street: A way to trade off heat. They will bleed till I'm empty If I deserve to die I'll make it show I will stain your affection, I will wear out your heart You'll follow where I go Blood stains Cut veins Filthy Murder Leave me... |
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| 2. |
| 8:36 |
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In The Flesh
She walks these empty streets alone Looking for something they call "home" Hoping to find some peace of mind Sometimes we need to walk alone She is set on running away Though her mom was yelling she must stay A wind beaten bird for reasons unheard Sometimes it is best to run away So fly away, fly away, fly away Don't be afraid, don't hesitate, fly away Some wear their bruises on their skin Others hide their scars deep within She has a wound close to her womb Blames herself for letting it in So fly away, fly away, fly away Don't be afraid, don't hesitate, fly away But She's afraid, she's afraid, she's afraid Anyway.. See those eyes, see those eyes, see those eyes Hate and lies, a fire that slowly dies But She will fly, she will fly, she will fly Before it dies Sometimes the hands that feed Must feed a mind with a sick need And the hands that clutch can be The same hands that touch too much Eyes that hungrily stare Read in an access that's not there While eyes close to hide tears Or look away in fear Run away! Passing the open stores Hiding her dirty sores Seeking asylum among freaks and whores What wouldn't she give to be in a society Not learning the eyes to be closed but to see Now she bites the words "Never" She kicks the ground "Never" Swallows her tears "Never will I go back" She hits the walls "Leave me!" Scratches herself "Leave me!" Begs to all Gods "Rip me from this sick flesh!" "I will always be there" "No!" She holds her ears "You know that I love you" Pretends that she doesn't hear "We're in this together" "We share the same skin" Panic in his voice now "Free us from sin" "Tell me that you love me" This is the end "I know that you do" Of her way Never ever again Follow me down "God forgive this hunger" "Please mommy see" "Never tell a soul" "Is it me?" A child will love its parents Will follow them down She swears to the pavement's heart of stone That these city lights will be her home But still as they burn she will return Back to the adults. . . of her home. |
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| 3. |
| 4:28 |
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Ashes
You claim I don't know you, but I know you well I read in those ash eyes we've been through hell I've walked with the weakest just to feel strong You've given your body just to belong Let's burn together Let's burn together This pain will never end These scars will never mend I taste your sorrow and you taste my pain Drawn to each other for every stain Licking the layers of soot from your skin Your tears work my crust to let yourself in Touching you harder Touching you harder now As we walk through the ashes I whisper your name A taste of pain to cling to As we walk through the ashes You whisper my name Who's the one with the sickest mind... now? This pain will never end Our scars will never mend Cleansing sweat We are just using each other Too depraved to stay alive But too young to die And we hurt Thus we hurt Scrubbing it harder Too late to back out now Scrubbing it even harder As these two broken barren desolate disordered words collide As we walk through the ashes I whisper your name A taste of pain to cling to As we walk through the ashes You whisper my name Who's the one with the sickest mind... now? This pain will never end These scars will never mend Damn this dirty bed Damn this dirty head |
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| 4. |
| 4:30 |
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Morning On Earth
For as long as I can remember I have wanted to Silence every beating heart; every sound of breathing Now there is something inside of me that aches as I hear you Breathing here when you sleep between these morning sheets I am the tears in your mouth I am the weight on your shoulder I am the scream that wants out And my heart just couldn't grow colder Now this rusty heart is my gift This fallen love is my gift Morning arrives on an Earth I've never seen before Revealing a life that I never really understood Strange, the way beauty can hurt the unopened eye Much more than all of the filth and pain That we're soaked in ever could I am the tears in your mouth I am the weight on your shoulder I am the scream that wants out And my heart just couldn't grow colder Hear this voice, see this man standing before you I'm just a child trapped inside the body of a man 'A relation, so oddly old - bred not to love Suffers the beaten grounds of Idioglossia We talk but we do not speak Together only in our incapability to leave this fallen playground We rule this Empire merely with these few crippled toys Rust in our faces This is what we can share - this is all we can lose Still Furiously we will linger to it with our lives Cling to its rust and pains Barefoot and torn Bred not but born to love' Hear this voice, see this man standing before you I'm just a child trapped inside this fallen man Hear this voice, see this man standing before you I'm just a child trapped inside the body of a man See this child.. |
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| 5. |
| 8:30 |
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Idioglossia
It all comes back to me Face to the floor Heart in my mouth My forehead hits the pavement Again - numb - again Sharing this humility A circle of humanity Momentarily black in me Immomentarily black So black Memory leave me be Close that eye leave love blind When outcome is preceded By an outlet that is needed We forget all but the circle As soon as the ends have met As soon as the ends have met I scratch the surface and see Someone better than me Where did I suffer that loss? What was taken from me? As I search through the ashes For someone to blame I'm afraid to see my face As I walk through the ashes I whisper your name Meeting you have forced me To meet myself This blood proves me right In that the last move is all that Counts if the beasts must bite Vow to the floor Oath to the taste of dust In my mouth - never! I bite the words - never again! Will I let anyone else finish I'll be the end of every way Memory let it die left behind Leave me blind Despite all these words Not one could express What I had inside Living was to hide Kneeling in whirlpools Of pink champagne Celebrating the bravery of my pain Something broke And no water could ever wash The anger from that first stain I scratched the surface to find Someone wicked and blind Where did it come to that end? Why can't these scars ever mend? Memories... I have swallowed all these tears Thought they'd be gone After all these years Now this heart is waking up With a new hunger For my own blood As I search through the ashes For someone to blame I'm afraid to see my face As I walk through the ashes I whisper your name Meeting you have forced me To meet myself .. Face to the ground Heart in their mouth Foreheads hit the pavement Again - numb - again Sharing my hostility A streetful of insanity This is payback for every Tear in me, hole in me Black in me - black! Memory history agony Let me see that hideous Idioglossia that formed me Despite all these words Not one could express What I had inside Living was to hide For every time you froze me out For every punch every shout For not believing in me For your stupidity For stealing what could have been Me It all comes back to you Is this all I am? |
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| 6. |
| 7:57 |
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Her Voices
Looking at you I see her face Through all these years, just waiting It all catches up to you when you slow down I'm back in that yard, tasting that shame Of pushing her down, Of kids and her games ...their strongholds We had a bigger world - we had a better view I guess I never fully realized then What she lost when I cut that loss .. So she filled the void with unearthly friends Voices of hers - greater... than us We had a bigger world - we had a better view I wish she'd never told us about her voices We were strong, we were much too strong Never forgive - never forget... ... We picked and pierced, we ripped and we tore We hit and we scratched to make in her a hole Glares and eyes - whispers and notes Attached to her every pose .. We fed her shouts For the collection of her voices I was too weak to collect But so, it turned out, was she Both paid in soul for the cutting of that loss Their ugly truth Outnumbered by far her beautiful dream And I closed my eyes Were her eyes in yours already when we met? Am I still paying debts to recover Life? Now I can see she proved to be right As she was called down It's sad though... ...that I turned out to be one of her voices. |
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| 7. |
| 4:00 |
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Dedication
I watched you die Though you had always been there Since I first came into this world Outside people smile I ask - why this deep blue sky? When you have left this world today Does it not know when to weep? All my life I've looked up to you A humble old man who always knew No one can ever be closer to God than you So who could fill this void .. I still can't believe that you are not around That your warm voice won't make another sound Sure I understand, but I never will accept That you should be gone .. I watched you die And I have feared this moment Since I was just a child So why that sunny sky? When my beloved grandfather Lies dead here cold and still? .. |
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| 8. |
| 9:44 |
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King of Loss
Mother, at my first breath Every paragraph was set As I inhaled the scent of debt Mother, that first stolen air On papers saying I'm not mine "We crown you, the King of Loss... Better get on your feet Best be one of us Better get yourself on the list For success Dress up as a State investment Charm the press A breed from the seed of only One short breath" Mother, hence we cry: Some of us are free to stand Most of us are bound to lie In those bloodstained beds No one can afford to pay The prices on their babies' heads I am the King of Loss! For every dear smile I feel I'm not one of us "An ivory coin for every plus on your stone" "One more governmental blade Now drawn from its sheath Quite a bargain I'd say since either way You will live by the show of our teeth!" Mother, I wish that we could talk You see I'm not fit to play this game Bound by its rules just the same My talents turned to talons Every monetary pile Will buy me a precious smile... smile... So smile for the King of Loss Feed from the juices Bleeding from this cross Then tell me our lives mean more Than this vain thirst! "A governmental blade Drawn from its private sheath Quite a bargain I'd say, since either way You'll be living by the show of our..." I hold up my head This was my life Now I'm with the dead So I lay my bare neck This is your call Dub a king or a wreck (Mother, listen to me mother) This was my life This is your call Is this all I am? Is this all I'll be? This is not enough! We're all crying for respect and attention We're all dying for a painless redemption! This is not what I wanted But for every drop of blood I lost myself I, too, lay bleeding on the sidewalk... Mother Long live the dying king "A governmental blade Now drawn from its private sheath Quite a bargain I'd say, since either way I will live by the show of your teeth..." |
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| 9. |
| 4:25 |
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Reconciliation
I thought I'd seen hell Thought I knew it all Now I know too well Hell is to wake up But it makes all the difference Tasting the tears in my mouth Taking the weight on my shoulders The hours and days of your life Don't necessarily make you older I'm sick of running away Along these bloody streets I'm sick of predators and prey Of being everybody's end! I've washed my hands of your blood Thought it would leave me clean But with time on my hands It turned to mud forming this crust of sin Now - to be truly free I'll let it come to me So -break me if you must When you break this crust Freedom is to see Hear this voice, see this man Standing before you I'm just a child Just a man learning to yield .. I hate these hands soaked in blood I hate what these eyes have seen Up to my knees in filth and mud How it hurts to become clean I was always on my mind But never on my side Run - but if you run away You'll always have to hide So if you need to run.. Run for help! |
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| 10. |
| 3:03 |
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Song For the Innocent
This world is what we can give Scarred from the way we lived All those dreams we shared for you How I wish they could come true We dreamed of a world in peace But killed for a life of ease Now we leave the wounds for you What else can the dying do? .. All those dreams we shared for you God, I wish them to be true... |
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| 11. |
| 1:50 | 
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| 12. |
| 10:09 |
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Yesterday found him today
Caught him at his last breath These walls built to stand come-what-may Lie shattered in the ashes His skin against this dirty floor Eyes fixed on the ceiling He has stretched those chains of sin Far beyond all feelings Still, so still In his head a thunderous Cry of desperation Tearing voices from his past Scream for his attention Behind those eyes a world explodes No one there to save him All pain that he's been passing on Answers to his craving Once more I will never leave this shame Falling far beyond the point of no return Nothing to become and nothing left to burn Stealing meaning from this child We took away his reason His soul put under lock and key His heart blackened from treason But if you take from those you fear Everything they value You have bred the perfect beast Drained enough to kill you Falling far beyond the point of no return Nothing to become and nothing left to burn Watching Unseen Untouched Bleeding Empty Exposed Dying Eyes closed Once he had forests and mountains That were only his, listening to him Once he would run through the summer days Catching memories for ages to come Now he is dressing this naked floor With his flesh and blood, and times passes by His trade of pain might just have lead him To deal with consequence For some change as time passes by I am the waking child (Lingering, climbing, clinging, clutching Craving, clawing, hurting, falling down) I, the wayward son of a mountain lake (Of icy liquor tears, of a silent Earth) (Of a rusty lid, of a wingless wind) (Of an eyeless storm, of fallen gods who lost their way) I set myself on fire To breed the Perfect Element Will I ever walk again? Falling far beyond the point of no return Nothing to become and nothing left to burn (This is the end) Nothing left to say The pain will go away Now you must surely see That you are killing me You are killing me Now you are killing me (You must never leave this shame) (Is this more than you want?) |
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| 13. |
| 3:14 |
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