| Disc 1 | ||||||
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| 1. |
| 4:29 | 
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I met your mama when I was sixteen
You couldn't have been anymore than three She caught me stealing y'all's color TV She called the cops and they arrested me She was the wildest thing I'd ever seen The way she pointed that shotgun at me The police hauled my ass off to jail Your mama signed the trailer to help make the bail She picked me up and drove me home Said I'll learn you not to roam? Green green grass under my feet But all I can think about's the dirt underneath Bulldozers and dirt Bulldozers and dirt Behind the trailer, my desert Them red clay piles are heaven on earth I get my rocks off, bulldozers and dirt I got a pickup that's up on blocks And I'm up to my ass in debt and hock And I can't get the red stains off of my socks And I can't get you off of my mind I've lived with your mama for eleven years Through good times, and bad times, fist fights and tears But something comes over me when you come near So won't you come over and sip on this beer Bulldozers and dirt bulldozers and dirt Behind the trailer, my desert I don't mean no harm, I just like to flirt But most of all I like bulldozers and dirt Most of all I like bulldozers and dirt |
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| 2. |
| 4:06 |
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My roommate's gun got nine bullets in it
Nine bullets in my roommate's gun My roommate's gun got nine bullets in it Gonna find a use for every last one One for the love who chose to betray me A real fine love who wouldn't be true One for the man that she betrayed with Nice enough fella, she'll betray him too Nice enough fella, she'll betray him too My roommate's gun got nine bullets in it Nine bullets in my roommate's gun My roommate's gun got nine bullets in it Gonna find a use for every last one One for my boss man, riding my butt again Sorry sir, but you'd better clock out One for the lady down at the laundrymat Who goes threw my dryer pulling one sock out She goes threw my dryer pulling one sock out My roommate's gun got nine bullets in it Nine bullets in my roommate's gun My roommate's gun got nine bullets in it Gonna find a use for every last one One just to put me out of my misery I better aim that sucker true I'll leave a note that says I'm sorry But I went off the deep end when I fell for you Went off the deep end, I fell for you One each for my immediate family They'll be so disappointed to see what I done One left over, I'll save it for my roommate After all it's my roommate's gun After all it's my roommate's gun After all it's my roommate's gun It's my roommate's gun My roommate's gun got nine bullets in it Nine bullets in my roommate's gun Roommate's gun got nine bullets in it Nine bullets in my roommate's gun Nine bullets in my roommate's gun Yeah nine bullets in it Gonna find a use for every last one Gonna find a use for every last one Gonna find a use for every last one |
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| 3. |
| 5:29 |
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They powered up the city with hydro-electric juice
Now we got more electricity we can ever use They flooded out the hollow and all the folks down there moved out But they got paid so there ain't nothin' else to think about Some of them made their living cutting the timber down Snaking it one log at a time up the hill and into town T.V.A. had a way to clear it off real fast Lots of men and machinery build a dam and drown the rest Uncle Frank lived down the park, down on Cedar Creek Bought fifteen acres when he got back home from overseas Fifteen rocky acres, figured no one else would want Till all that backed up water had to have some place to go Uncle Frank couldn't read or write Never held down a job or needed one in his life They assured him there'd be work for him in town building cars It's already going down The cars never came to town and the roads never got built And the price of all that power kept on going straight uphill And banks around the hollow sold for lake-front property Where doctors, lawyers, and musicians teach their kids to water ski Uncle Frank couldn't read or write So there was no note or letter found where he died Just a rope around his neck And the kitchen table turned on it's side |
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| 4. |
| 3:17 | 
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| 5. |
| 3:31 |
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Gran Gran keeps a box of spiders
Says they're on me when I sleep Waiting in the out-house for me Underneath the seat Great-grandmothers 'bout ninety-seven She is sure when she gets to heaven Old St. Peter's gonna throw his arms around her and say "I've waited so long for us to meet" Put the general in a box and buried him behind The stony point church of Christ when I was three When the Lord comes to take me I'll die with a smile on 'Cause He's taking all my pains and fears Said the generals last words were "It's hotter than hell in here" Gran Gran keeps a box of spiders So she told me as a child I would hold it in for hours Too mean to die, too mean to die, too mean |
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| 6. |
| 5:15 |
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If I had a dime for every time
I heard my old man say one of these days I wouldn't be like my old man today Talking 'bout places that he'd been Back in his younger days that he was gonna go back To again one of these days Dropped out of school when he was just sixteen Fell right in to a tire plant Building the very things that make the asphalt sing And put Alabama far behind you I remember him saying that Chicago was a hell right here on earth And twenty five years later I was saying the same thing about Memphis It's no wonder everybody's scared of downtown Birmingham It's just a little too close to home But there's more crooks down here and the cops don't care While old white men wearing ties can do anything they want Once a country boy's seen the way the steam rises Off a man's insides on the sidewalk Tends to change the way he thinks, the way he sees everything And he goes back to where he came from One of these days when my face looks like a road map Gonna find my way back home And I'll go walking on the west side after dark And leave my gun locked in my car One of these days you'll take one look at me and run One of these days you'll take one look at me and run |
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| 7. |
| 4:51 |
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I don't want to go to dinner with Margo and Harold.
I don't like the way he looks at you, and the way she looks at me, Way they look at each other, like we're just part of some private joke. I don't want to go dinner with Margo and Harold, No matter how good the food. I don't want to make small talk, innuendo, Or go for a ride in Harold's Corvette. I'm scared of the basement of Harold's Pawn Shop, I've heard tales of what goes down there. Mid-life crises, high on Dilauded, Valium, and crystal meth. Harold and Margo, feeling no pain Fifty and crazy, big hair and cocaine. If they call on the phone, tell them I'm not home. That night with Margo was a long time ago. It makes me nervous how much Harold knows, And the way that he looks at you. I don't want to see why Harold's now skinny. I don't want to see Margo's bikini. So if they call, tell them you ain't seen me or that I'm in too much pain. Harold and Margo, taking aim. Horny and loaded, big-hair and cocaine. |
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| 8. |
| 7:02 |
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My Mama told me, your life is such a wreck
Your dumber than dog shit is what my Daddy said I was just thirteen when they showed me the door I keep their picture but don't look at it no more My first wife told me, you need to get a life My third wife told me to get another wife I brought a bottle and the van's parked by that tree So come on out with me, if you want to be number four Sometimes I feel like shit Sometimes that ain't half of it Sometimes I'm so high I'm scared to go to sleep Sometimes I'm lower than the company I keep Ain't held down a job since 1984 I get by holding up convenience stores I get by on liquor, guns and luck But I'm scared to death which one might run out first Sometimes I feel like shit Sometimes that ain't half of it Sometimes I'm so high I'm scared to go to sleep Sometimes I'm lower than the company I keep I seen my past in everything that I despise I've seen my future and I'm scared to close my eyes Is that my ghost that I see in my fears Or just my reflection in my Mama's tears Sometimes I feel like shit Sometimes that ain't half of it Sometimes I'm so high I'm scared to go to sleep Sometimes I'm lower than the company I keep Sometimes I'm lower than the company I keep I pray the Lord, my soul to keep |
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| 9. |
| 4:12 |
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(NEWS FLASH!!!) (scene: the press corps have descended upon the White House, a spokesperson begins to speak:)
They looked in the White House and Capitol Hill They looked everywhere for Buffalo Bill We called every scholar, reporter, and genius Has anyone seen the Presidents penis? It aint in the Congress or Judiciary It aint in the Smithsonian or that big ole library an astronomer claims it was sighted on Venus Has anyone seen the Presidents penis? (now the entire press corp. erupts in song:) THE PRESIDENTS PENIS IS MISSING OLE!!! WE SEARCHED HIGH AND LOW, EVERY NIGHT EVERYDAY LORD, WONT YOU COME DOWN AND REDEEM US HAS ANYONE SEEN THE PRESIDENTS PENIS? (at this point, legendary news man Walter Cronkite returns from the moon to add his commentary:) Now Presidents have goofed up in all kinds of ways in the 80s we elected one missing his brain George Washington caught a cold he couldnt explain and we all know the truth about Thomas Jeffersons name (suddenly William Randolph Hurst rises from the grave and bellows out in an Orson Welles type voice:) Franklin D. Roosevelt wasnt no square with that raging Woodrow in his wheelchair and all the lesbians snickered that Elenor didnt care and John Kennedys penis was seen everywhere (once again everyone breaks out in gleeful song:) THE PRESIDENTS PENIS IS MISSING OLE!!! WE SEARCHED HIGH AND LOW EVERY NIGHT EVERY DAY LORD WONT YOU COME DOWN AND REDEEM US HAS ANYONE SEEN THE PRESIDENTS PENIS? (the scene shifts to Sen. John Glenn, wandering pensively, somewhere in space:) Them outer space people would laugh if theyd seen us all this talk about cum-stains and oral coitus meanwhile the whole world suffers from hunger and meanness but were more concerned with the Presidents penis THE END? |
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| 10. |
| 5:03 |
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Me and my brother's old lady went out and got stinking,
She solved her curiosities about me by the railroad tracks. She said I reminded her of him before he started drinking And banging the babysitter every time she turned her back. I we opened up the sunroof and smoked a big ole joint And drank a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon listening to the crickets and trains. Every so often she'd lapse into narcotic rambling. Moon and mascara. I've always been a holy terror. Temptations lurking every where. If your mind's in the gutter, Beware! You'll find me there. Me and a friend were talking after the funeral. She said it should have been me but I'm still around and I been so wild, I'm surprised I made it to the seventh grade, And all my dead friends have settled down. My eyes were puffy and she asked if I'd been crying. I said 'tears are for pussies' but who was I kidding. So we stopped at the bar and drank them dry. Beer and tequila. I've always been a thrill seeker. But thrills are a dime a dozen these days. And I found a dime in the gutter today. Tails facing up. Still fucking up. Still fucking up. A funny thing happened on my way to a strange way of thinking. |
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| 11. |
| 5:23 |
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Coming home with a bottle, trying not to break the seal
This Friday evening traffic's about enough to break a man's will And I can't wait to see you, see how your week has gone And tear into old No.7 and make love till dawn But your mama she'll be calling, if she ain't knocking on the door And it won't take me long to remember what I brought that bottle home for And we'll all get to fighting, just like we always do By Saturday morning, I'll be singing these blues Last night I slept with my boots on again One cut on my forehead one on my chin On the hard old floor with nothin' to cover up with You got me real good, girl, I must admit Pack purty mean punch for such a pretty little dish And it's a shame to know most folks don't ever know love like this Come Monday morning, I'll be sore to a fare-thee-well Cussin' God and America, begging them both just to send me off to hell But the boss man don't want no excuses When it comes time to get on the clock And without that paycheck, I'd lose the rest of what sweet love I got Last night I slept with my boots on again One cut on my forehead one on my chin On the hard old floor with nothin' to cover up with You got me real good, girl, I must admit Pack purty mean punch for such a pretty little dish And it's a shame to know most folks don't ever know love like this It's a shame to know most folks don't ever know love like this |
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| 12. |
| 5:40 |
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Jupiter mules kickin' out all the stops
Newfangled dogs danglin' stars from her eyelids She can't read between the lies anymore Lord, help her rise just one more time if you can. Still, the children read to her till she opens up her hands When my body dies will you remember my name? When my body dies will you remember my name? Oh, Mrs. Dubose you were such a flower now you're all dead inside withered and insane Oh, Mrs. Dubose you were such a flower, you got the death, the dust, and the opium runnin' through your veins Black maid stays cause she's paid to be around Condemned and scared for all she knows You better look at the road when you pass she gonna fix you with that evil eye unless your hotdin' your old man's hand you better pass on by better pass on by |
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| 13. |
| 3:17 |
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All my family problems disappeared over night
We're all taking Zoloft and everything is fine My sister's teen angst just flew out the window Mama's so happy she laughs all the time Used to have trouble getting along with each other Mama's hating Daddy, I'm hating little brother Then the family doctor gave us all these little pills Now I can't believe how great we all feel All my family problems disappeared over night We're all taking Zoloft and everything is fine My sister's teen angst just flew out the window Mama's so happy she laughs all the time The birds in the trees all sing them happy songs Everyone is smiling, we're so glad to be alive Even my old pit bull don't growl anymore He just watches tail wag from side to side All my family problems disappeared over night We're all taking Zoloft and everything is fine My sister's teen angst just flew out the window Mama's so happy she laughs till she cries I used to be so unhappy singing songs about killing Taking methadone and jacking off four or five times a day But now I'm so happy, I'm so god damned happy Who needs an orgasm when life's so fucking great All my family problems disappeared over night We're all taking Zoloft and everything is fine My sister's teen angst just flew out the window Mama's so happy she cries all the time |
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| 14. |
| 4:50 |
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We were bored, there was nothing going on.
Might as well stay at home and drink until we pass out again. Then drink some more when the morning comes. Memphis was sinking into the Mississippi. We were doing our best just to ride it down. Till the night G.G. Allin came to town. "Honey, I dont believe this," the old man at Ferguson's Cafe kept saying to his wife. As he read aloud The Memphis Star and their account of what went down that night "It says He took a shit on the stage and started throwing it into the crowd. But He was gone before the cops could come and shut him down." Gone before the shit came down. The Night G.G. Allin Came to Town. The Night G.C. Allin Came to Town. Antenna Club, Memphis, 1991. Punk Rockers Paid $12.00 to be Shit On! The Night G.G. Allin Came to Town "It says He took the microphone and shoved it up his ass!" The old man and his wife were aghast The Night G.G. Allin Came to Town. The Night G.G. Allin Came to Town. |
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