Monty Python - The Final Rip Off (1992)

I'm so worried about what's happening today, In the Middle East, you know. And I'm so worried about the baggage retrieval System they've got at Heathrow. I'm so worried about the fashoins today, And I'm so worried about the shows on TV I don't think they're good for your feet. That sometimes they want to repeat. And I'm so worried about the baggage retrieval I'm so worried about what's happening today, System they've got at Heathrow. In the Middle East, you know. And the state of the world today. And I'm so worried about being so full of doubt I'm so worried about my hair falling out, About everything anyway. I'm so worried about modern technology, I'm so worried about all the things That they dump in the sea. Worried, worried, worried. I'm so worried about it, worried about it, I'm so worried about whether people like this song. I'm so worried about everything that can go wrong. It isn't the best that I've got. I'm so worried about this very next verse, And I'm so worried about whether I should go on Or whether I shouldn't just stop. And I'm so worried because it's the sort of thing I ought to know. I'm so worried about whether I ought to have stopped. And I'm so worried about the baggage retrieval System they've got at Heathrow. I'm so worried about whether I should have stopped then, I'm so worried that I'm driving everyone round the bend. System they've got at Heathrow. And I'm so worried about the baggage retrieval

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Cocktail Bar

Monty Python

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And now i want to turn you to Sumeria,...787

(music begins)

(Horn Blows)

Hello? ......Hello?!

Hello? Who is it?

It Is King Arthur and these are my knights of the round table,
whose castle is this?

This is the castle of my master, Du eiut of lalamba!

Go and tell your master that we have been charged by god,
with a sacred quest. If you will give us food and shelter for
the night, he can join us in our quest for the holy grail.

Well, i'll ask him but i dont think he will be very keen!
Uh, he's already got one you see!

WHAT!?! He says they already got one!

Are you sure he's got one?

Oh yes its a very nice! uh i told them we already got one! hehe
(snickers behind wall)

Well, uh, can we come up and have a look?

OF COURSE not! You are english Type!

Well what are you then!?

I'm french! Why do you think i have this outragious accent you silly
king!

What are you doing in England?

Mind your own buisness!

If you are will not show us the grail, we shall have to take your castle
by force!

You dont frighten us you English pig dogs!

Go and boil your bottoms! Son of a silly person!

I'll blow my nose at you, so called Arthur king! You and all your silly
English cunnnnnnnnnigits!

TTHPPBPBB!!(making fart nosies with tongue)

What a strange person.....

Now look her my good man..

I dont wanna talk to you no more you empty headed animal foot
trough water! I'll fart in your general direction! Your mother was a
hamster and you father smelt of eldiberry!!!!

Is there someone else up there we can talk to?

NO! Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!

ah well unfortunatley, our projecter has broken down, and
the other one is still at the theatre shop, so, uh while I
get Sheila to get around and see if it's ready,
and here's a recording of an inbreaker.

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I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay, He sleeps all night and he works all day. I sleep all night and I work all day.
: He's a lumberjack and he's okay, I go to the lavatory. On Wednesdays I go shopping I cut down trees, I eat my lunch, And have buttered scones for tea. Mounties: He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch, He goes to the lavatory. And has buttered scones for tea. On Wednesdays he goes shopping
: He's a lumberjack and he's okay, He sleeps all night and he works all day. I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I put on women's clothing, I like to press wild flowers. And hang around in bars. He likes to press wild flowers. Mounties: He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps, He puts on women's clothing, And hangs around in bars.
: He's a lumberjack and he's okay, He sleeps all night and he works all day. Suspendies and a bra. I cut down trees, I wear high heels, Just like my dear pappa. I wish I'd been a girlie, Mounties: He cuts down trees, he wears high heels? Suspendies...and a bra? ...he's a lumberjack and he's okay, He sleeps all night and he works all day. ...he's a lumberjack and he's OKAAAAAAAAAAYYY. He sleeps all night and he works all day.

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French Taunter Part 2

Monty Python

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I Like Chinese

Monty Python

Spoken: The world today seems absolutely crackers. There are fools and idiots sitting on the trigger. With nuclear bombs to blow us all sky high. It's depressing, and it's senseless, and that's why... Intro: I like Chinese, I like Chinese, Yet they're always friendly and they're ready to please. They only come up to your knees, I like Chinese, Verse: I like Chinese, There's nine hundred million of them in the world today, You'd better learn to like them, that's what I say. Chorus: I like Chinese, I like Chinese, They come from a long way overseas, But they're cute and they're cuddly, and they're ready to please. Verse: I like chinese food, The waiters never are rude, Think of the many things they've done to impress, There's Maoism, Taoism, I Ching and chess. Chorus: So I like Chinese, I like Chinese, yin and yang-ese. I like their tiny little trees, Their Zen, their ping-pong, their Verse: I like Chinese thought, The wisdom that Confucious taught, The Chinese will survive us all without any doubt. If Darwin is anything to shout about, I like Chinese, Chorus: So I like Chinese, Yet they're wise and they're witty, and they're ready to please. They only come up to your knees, Verse: (in Chinese) I like Chinese, Chorus: I like Chinese, Their food is guaranteed to please, Chorus: I like Chinese, A fourteen, a seven, a nine and lychees. I like their tiny little trees, Their Zen, their ping-pong, their yin and yang-ese. I like Chinese, Fade: I like Chinese, I like Chinese...