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| 1. |
| 2:50 | 
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They see me mowin' My front lawn I know they're all thinking I'm so White N' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Can't you see I'm white n' nerdy Look at me I'm white n' nerdy! I wanna roll with- The gangsters But so far they all think I'm too white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy I'm just too white n' nerdy Really really white n' nerdy First in my class here at M.I.T. Jock skills I'm a champion of D&D MC Escher that's my favorite MC Keep your 40, I'll just have an Earl Grey tea My rims never spin to the contrary You'll find they're quite stationary All of my action figures are cherry Stephen Hawking's in my library My MySpace page is all totally pimped out I got people begging for my top 8 spaces Yo I know Pi a thousand places Ain't got no grills but I still wear braces I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise I'm a whiz at minesweeper I can play for days Once you see my sweet moves you're gonna stay amazed my fingers movin' so fast I'll set the place ablaze There's no killer app I haven't run At Pascal, well, I'm number one I do vector calculus just for fun I ain't got a gat but I gotta soldering gun Happy Days is my favorite theme song I can sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on I'm fluent in Java Script as well as Klingon They see me roll on, my Segway! I know in my heart they think I'm white n' nerdy! Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Can't you see I'm white n' nerdy Look at me I'm white n' nerdy I'd like to roll with- The gangsters Although it's apparent I'm too White n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy I'm just too white n' nerdy How'd I get so white n' nerdy? I've been browsing, inspectin' X-men comics you know I collect 'em The pens in my pocket I must protect 'em My ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored Shopping online for deals on some writable media I edit Wikipedia I memorized the Holy Grail Really well I can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOL I got a business doing websites When my friends need some code who do they call? I do HTML do for them all Even make a homepage for my dog! Yo I got myself a fanny pack they were having a sale at the GAP Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap POP POP! Hope no one sees me get freaky! I'm nerdy in the extreme and whiter than sour cream I was in AV club and Glee club and even the chess team! Only question I ever thought was hard Was do I like Kirk or do I like Picard? I spend every weekend at the Renaissance Faire Got my name on my underwear! They see me strollin' They laughin' And rollin' their eyes 'cause I'm so white n' nerdy Just because I'm white n' nerdy Just because I'm white n' nerdy All because I'm white n' nerdy Holy cow I'm white n' nerdy I wanna bowl with- the gangsters but oh well it's obvious I'm white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy I'm just too white n' nerdy Look at me I'm white n' nerdy! |
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| 2. |
| 3:48 |
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Oooh oooh oooh ee-oooh oooh oooh Ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh-oooh oooh Oooooh I'm always thinkin' 'bout it I don't know what I'd do without it I love, I really love My pancreas My spleen just doesn't matter Don't really care about my bladder But I don't leave home without My pancreas My pancreas is always There for me Ahh-oooh Secreting those enzymes (bap bap bap) Secreting those hormones too Metabolizing carbohydrates Just for me Ba-ba ba ba-ba ba ba ba-ba ba ba My pancreas Ba-ba ba ba-ba ba ba ba-ba ba My pancreas Ba-ba ba ba-ba ba ba ba-ba ba ba My pancreas Ba-ba ba ba-ba ba ba ba-ba ba My pancreas Ba-ba ba ba-ba ba ba ba-ba ba ba My pancreas Ba-ba ba ba-ba ba ba ba-ba ba My pancreas Ooooooh My pancreas attracts every other Pancreas in the universe With a force proportional To the product of their masses And inversely proportional To the distance between them Woo woo woo woo Don'tcha you know you gotta Flow, flow, flow, pancreatic juice Flow, flow, into the deuodenum Won'tcha Flow, flow, flow, pancreatic juice Flow, flow, into the deuodenum Insulin, glucagon (Won'tcha flow, flow, flow, pancreatic juice) Comin' from the islets of Langerhans... (Flow flow, into the deuodenum) Insulin, glucagon (Won'tcha flow flow flow, pancreatic juice) Comin' from the islets of Langerhans... (Flow flow, into the deuodenum) Lipase, amylase, and tripsin (Insulin, glucagon) (Won'tcha flow, flow flow, pancreatic juice) They gonna help with our digestion (Comin' from the islets of Langerhans...) (Flow flow, into the deuodenium) Lipase, amylase, and tripsin (Insulin, glucagon) (Won'tcha flow flow flow, pancreatic juice) They gonna help with our digestion (Comin' from the islets of Langerhans...) (Flow flow, into the deuodenum) Can't you see I love my pancreas {Lipase, amylase, and tripsin} (Insulin, glucagon) (Won'tcha flow flow flow, pancreatic juice) Golly-gee I love my pancreas {They gonna help with our digestion} (Comin' from the islets of Langerhans...) (Flow flow, into the deuodenum) Can't you see I love my pancreas {Lipase, amylase, and tripsin} (Insulin, glucagon) (Won'tcha flow flow flow, pancreatic juice) Golly-gee I love my pancreas {They gonna help with our digestion} (Comin' from the islets of Langerhans...) (Flow flow, into the deuodenum) Can't you see I love my pancreas {Lipase, amylase, and tripsin} (Insulin, glucagon) (Won'tcha flow flow flow, pancreatic juice) Golly-gee I love my pancreas {They gonna help with our digestion} (Comin' from the islets of Langerhans...) (Flow flow, into the deuodenum) Can't you see I love my pancreas... |
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| 3. |
| 2:23 |
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Weird Al Yankovic-Canadian Idiot Don't want to be a Canadian idiot 캐나다 바보가 되고 싶지 않아 Don't want to be some beer-swillin' hockey nut 맥주만 줄창 쳐마시는 하키 또라이가 되고 싶지 않아 and do I look like some frost bitten hosehead 난 동살걸린 호스 꼭지처럼 보일거야 I never learned my alphabet from A to Zed 난 절대 알파벳 A부터 Z까지 안 배웠어 They all live on donuts and moose meat 그들 모두 다 도너츠하고 무스고기만 먹고 살지 and they leave the house without packin' heat 보온 용품 없이 집을 나서지 never even bring their guns to the mall 쇼핑 몰에 총을 절대로 가져 가지 않지 and you know what else is too funny 그 밖에 웃긴게 너무 많은데 그 중에도 their stupid monopoly money can't take 'em seriously at all 어리버리 전매품인 돈은 그들을 진지하게 받아들이지 못하게 하지 Well maple syrup and snow's what they export 메이플 시럽과 눈은 주요 수출품이지 they treat curling just like it's a real sport 컬링을 진짜 스포츠로 생각하지 they think their silly accent is so cute 어리버리 사투리가 귀엽게 들린다고 생각하지 can't understand a thing they're talking aboot 야그하는 걸 전혀 알아 들을 수 없는데도 말이지.. sure they got their national health care 국립 건강 보험이 있긴 하지만 cheaper meds low crime rates and clean air 낮은 범죄율과 청정 대기 때문에 의료비가 엄청 싸지 then again well they got celine dion 하지만 그들한테는 셀린 디옹이 있지 eat their weight in kraft macaroni 그들 몸무게 유지용으로 마카로니를 먹지 and dream of driving a zamboni 잼보니를 모는게 꿈이지 all over saskatchewan 서스캐처원에서는 Don't want to be a Canadian idiot 캐나다 바보가 되고 싶진 않아 We'll figure out the temperature in Celcius 우리는 섭씨 온도를 알아낼거야 see the map they're hovering right over us 그들이 우리 바로 위에서 맴도는 낯짝을 봤지 tell you the truth it makes me kinda nervous 솔직히 말하면 그게 날 약간 초초하게 만들어 always hear the same kind of story 항상 같은 이야기만 듣지 break your nose and they'll just say sorry 코를 부러뜨리고 걍 미안하다고만 말할걸 tell me what kind of freaks are that polite 어떤 똘추 짓이 거기선 예의인지 말좀 해줘 It's gotta mean they're all up to something 그건 그들 모두가 뭔가 꾸미려는 걸 말하지 so quick before you see it coming 그러면 그들이 올거 같으면 재빨리 time for a pre-emptive strike 선제 공격을 가할 시간이야 |
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| 4. |
| 3:51 |
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I sued Taco Bell cuz I ate half a million chaloopas and I got fat I sued Panasonic. They never said I shouldn't use their microwave to dry off my cat I sued Earthlink cuz I called 'em up and they had the nerve to put me on hold I sued Starbucks cuz I spilled a Frappaccino in my lap and brrr it was cold! I sued Toys "R" Us cuz I swallowed a Nerf Ball and nearly choked to death! Uh! I sued Petco cuz I ate a bag of kitty litter and now I got bad breath! I sued Coca Cola yo cuz I put my finger down in a bottle and it got stuck! I sued Delta Airlines cuz they sold me a ticket to New Jersey, I went there, and it sucked! Yeeeeeaaaaaaah! If ya stare me up on a date If you deliver my pizza 30 seconds late! I'm gonna sue sue yes I'm gonna sue. Sue sue yeah that's what I'm gonna do! I'm gonna sue sue yes I'm gonna sue. Sue sue yeah I might even sue you! Uh! I sued Duracell they never told me not to shove that AA right up my nose! I sued Home Depot because they sold me a hammer which they knew I might drop on my toes! I sued Dell Computers cuz I took a bath with my laptop now it doesn't work! I sued Fruit of the Loom cuz when I wear those tightie-whities on my head I look like a jerk! I sued Verizon cuz I get all depresed any time my cell phone is rolling! I sued Colorado cuz ya know I think it looks a bit too much like Wyoming! I sued Neman Markus cuz they put up their christmas decorations way outta season! I sued Ben Affleck.. aww do I even need a reason? Uh! If I sprain my ankle when I'm robbin' your place! If I hurt my knuckes when I punch you in the face! I'm gonna sue sue yes i'm gonna sue sue sue yeah that's what I'm gonna do I'm gonna sue sue yes i'm gonna sue sue sue that's right i'm gonna sue you! Uh! Uh! Uh! I'll sue ya I'll take all your money. I'll sue ya even look at me funny. I'll sue ya I'll take all your money I'll sue ya even if ya look at me funny! I'll sue ya! I'll take all your money! I'll sue ya even if ya look at me funny! I'll sue ya I'll take all your money! I'll sue ya even if ya look at me funny! I'll sue ya! ha ha ha ha ha! I'll sue ya! whatcha think of that?! I'll sue ya! ha ha ha ha ha! Booyah! I'll sue ya! Uh! |
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| 5. |
| 4:17 |
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[Chicken Dance] ["Let's Get it Started" by Black Eyed Peas] Let's get it started (ha) let's get it started in here Let's get it started (ha) let's get it started in here Let's get it started (ha) Let's get it started in here And the base keeps runnin' runnin' And runnin' runnin' And runnin' runnin' And runnin' runnin' ["Take Me Out" by Franz Ferdinand] I say don't you know You say you don't know I say... take me out! I say you don't show Don't move, time is slow I say (gunshot) take me out! ["Beverly Hills" by Weezer] Beverly Hills - That's where I want to be! (gimme, gimme) Living in Beverly Hills Beverly Hills - Rolling like a celebrity! (gimme, gimme) Living in Beverly Hills ["Speed Of Sound" by Coldplay] And birds go flying at the speed of sound To show you how it all began Birds came flying from the underground If you could see it then you'd understand (Accordion Solo) ["Float On" by Modest Mouse] And we'll all float on ok And we'll all float on alright Already we'll all float on Now don't you worry we'll all float on Alright... ["Feel Good Inc." by Gorillaz] Feel good Feel good Feel good ["Don't Cha" by Pussycat Dolls] Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me? Don't cha? Don't cha? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me? Don't cha? Don't cha? Don't cha? Don't cha? ["Somebody told me" by The Killers] Somebody told me You had a boyfriend Who looked like a girlfriend That I had in February of last year It's not confidential Well, I've got potential A rushin' a rushin' around Hey! Hey! Hey! ["Candy Shop" by 50 featuring Olivia] I'll take you to the candy shop I'll let you lick the lollypop Go 'head girl, don't you stop Keep going 'til you hit the spot (woah) We'll take you to the candy shop (yeah) Boy one taste of what we got (un'huh) We'll have you spending all you got (come on) Keep going 'til you hit the spot (whoa) ["Drop It Like It's Hot" by Snoop Dogg] When the pimp's in the crib ma Drop it like it's hot Drop it like it's hot Drop it like it's hot When the pigs try to get at you Park it like it's hot Park it like it's hot ["Pon De Replay" by Rihanna] Come Mr. DJ song pon de replay Come Mr. DJ won't you turn the music up? All the gyal pon the dancefloor wantin' some more what Come Mr. DJ won't you turn the music up? Hey Mr. Please Mr. DJ Tell me if you hear me Turn the music up! ["Gold Digger" by Kanye West] She take my money (she take my money) When I'm in need (when I'm in need) Yea she's a trifflin' friend indeed (friend indeed) Oh she's a gold digga way over town (way over town) That digs on me Hey! Hey! Now I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger But she ain't messin wit' no broke broke Now I ain't sayin she's a gold digger But she ain't messin wit' no broke broke Get down girl, go head get down (I gotta leave) Get down girl, go head get down (I gotta leave) Get down girl, go head get down (I gotta leave) Get down girl, go head But I ain't sayin' she's a Gold gold digger (gold gold) Gold gold digger (gold gold) Gold gold digger (gold gold) Hey! |
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| 6. |
| 3:46 |
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Hey, everyone, listen up, your attention if you please
Really want to give you a warning 'Cause I found out this morning 'Bout a dangerous, insidious computer virus If you should get any mail with the subject: ""Stinky Cheese"" Better not go taking your chances Under no circumstances Should you open it or else it will Translate your documents into Swahili Make your TV record ""Gigli"" Neuter your pets and give your laundry static cling (Look out!) It's gonna make your computer screen freeze (Look out!) Erase the Easter eggs off your DVDs (Look out!) Erase your hard drive and your back-ups too And the hard drive of anyone related to you Virus alert! Delete immediately before someone gets hurt Forward this message on to everybody Soon, very soon, it will make all the paint peel off your walls It'll make your keyboard all sticky Give your poodle a hickey And invest your cash in stock in Euro Disney Then it will tie up your phone making crank long distance calls It'll set your clocks back an hour And start hogging the shower So just trash it now, or else it will Decide to give you a permanent wedgie Legally change your name to Reggie Even mess up the pH balance in your pool (Look out!) It's gonna melt your face right off your skull (Look out!) And make your iPod only play Jethro Tull (Look out!) And tell you knock-knock jokes while your tryin' to sleep (Look out!) And make you physically attracted to sheep (Look out!) Steal you identity your credit cards (Look out!) Buy you a warehouse full of pink leotards (Look out!) Then cause a major rift in time and space And leave a bunch of Twinkie wrappers all over the place That's right, it's a… Virus alert Delete immediately before someone gets hurt Forward this message on to everybody Virus alert Delete immediately before someone gets hurt Forward this message on to everybody Warn all your friends, send this to everybody Tell everyone you know, tell everybody now If you get infected, you'll wish you had never been born So before it e-mails your grandmother all of your porn… Turn off your computer and make sure it powers down Drop it in a 43-foot hole in the ground Bury it completely, rocks and boulders should be fine Then burn any clothes you may have worn at any time you were online Virus alert Delete immediately before someone gets hurt Forward this message on to everybody Virus alert Delete immediately before someone gets hurt Forward this message on to everybody Virus alert Delete immediately before someone gets hurt Forward this message on to everybody Warn all your friends, send this to everybody Tell everyone you know, tell everybody now What are you waiting for? Just hurry up and forward this to every single person that you know Hit… send… right…now |
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| 7. |
| 3:52 |
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Watch this
These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I could say I came up up with more secrets to tell you today These are my confessions Slip my mind the last two times Silly me, so now I gotta give you part three of my confessions First I told you about the skank that I was cheating with,then I mentioned she's having my kid That's not all, now I recall more you see, so I'll give you part three of my confessions Now this is gonna be the hardest thing I ever had to do, Gonna tell you everything I left out of parts one and two Like remember when I told you I knew Paulie Shore (Paulie Shore) That's a lie, I don't know what I said that for I borrowed your chapstick (from you) Without asking I tried out your nose hair trimmer (too) And by the way your diamond ring is cubic circonium, I killed your goldfish accidentally, just replaced it with another one These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I could say I needed to get some things off my chest right away These are my confessions Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions I threw up on your dog last time I had too much to drink There have been times when I've peed in your sink Don't know why, but you and I should agree that belongs in part three of my confessions Baby forgive me I'm still trying to figure out why I used your toothbrush to clean off the bathroom grought Oh and sometimes in private, I really like to dress up as Shirley Temple and spank myself with a hockey stick (hockey stick) My boss thinks I'm a jerk, I didn't get that raise. I haven't changed my underwear in twenty-seven days! And when I'm kissing you I fantasize you as a midget I'm so sorry Debbi! I mean Bridget! These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I could say I got a few more secrets I'd like to convey These are my confessions Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions Gave you buttered toast I dropped and then picked up off the floor FYI it was not a cold sore Oops my bad, but you'll be madder at me when I finish part three of my confessions You don't know how hard it is for me to tell you this, but remember that shirt that you got me for my birthday? Well, I returned it for store credit. That thing was hideous, what were you thinking? O and by the way, I wasn't really sick last week, I just didn't wanna go to your stupid office picnic Oh and when I told you at breakfast we were all out of rice krispies, What I meant was that there was only enough left for me. Sorry. These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I could say, I thought of some more things that should scare you away These are my confessions Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions Once I blew my nose and wiped it on your cat And I lied, yes that dress makes you look fat Anyway, I shouldn't say anymore 'til I give you part four of my confessions |
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| 8. |
| 1:34 |
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Faces filled with joy and cheer What a magical time of year Howdy-ho it's Weasel Stomping Day Put your viking helmet on Spread that mayonaise on the lawn Don't you know it's Weasel Stomping Day All the little girls and boys Love that wonderful crunching noise You'll know what this day's about When you stomp a weasel's guts right out So come along and have a laugh Snap that weasely spine in half Grab your boots and stomp your cares away Hip-hip-hooray it's Weasel Stomping Day People up and down the street Crushing weasels beneath their feet Why we do it, who can say But it's such a festive holiday So let the stomping fun begin Bash their weasely skulls right in It's tradition, that makes it ok Hey everyone it's Weasel Stomping We'll have some fun on Weasel stomping Put down your guns it's weasel stomping Daaaaayyyy Hip-hip-hooray it's Weasel Stomping Daaaaayyyyy Weasel Stomping Day, Hey! |
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| 9. |
| 3:55 |
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Jillian was her name, she was sweeter than aspartame. Her kisses reconfigured my DNA and after that, I never was the same. And I loved her more than Marlon Brando loved souffle. She was gorgeous, she was charming, yeah she was perfect in every way. Except she was always using the word infer, when she obviously meant imply. And I know some guys would put up with that kinda thing, but frankly, I can't imagine why, and I told her I said Hey! Are we playin' horseshoes honey, no I don't think we are. You're close, but no cigar. Then I met sweet young Janet, prettiest thing on the planet. Had a body hotter than a habanjero, she had lips like a ripe pomergranite. And I was crazy like Manson about her, she got me all choked up like Momma Cass. She had a smile so incredibly radiant, you had to watch it through a piece of smoked glass. I thought after all these years of searchin' around, I found my soul mate finally. But one day I found out she actually owned a copy, of Joe Dirt on DVD, oh no! I said Hey! Are we lovin' hand grenades kiddo, no I don't think we are. You're close! Oh so very close. Yeah, baby you're close, so close, but no cigar! Julie played water polo. She wore a ribbon on her left manolo. She had me sweatin' like Nixon every time she was there, my heart was beatin' like a Buddy Rif solo. And she was every thing I've dreamed of, she moved right up to number 1 on my list. And did I mention she's a world famous billionaire bikini, super model astrophysicist. Yeah, she was so pretty she made Charlize Theron, look like a big fat slobbering pig! The only caveat is one of her earlobes was just a little tiny bit too big, oh no, I said Hey! Are we doin' government work here, no I don't think we are. You're close! So very very close! Aw, baby you're close, so close, but no cigar. |
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| 10. |
| 2:47 |
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I know that you don't know me very well
We've barely met, but I can surely tell No one will ever love you like I do I like to feel the warm spot on your chair Sometimes I drool and usually I stare My precious one I saved that gum that you threw in the garbage You're the one I dream about But the only question with me now is Do I creep you out? Everytime I shake your hand now Wanna stick your fingers in my mouth Do I creep you out? Call you every night and hang up, whoa, up Gonna carve your name in my leg In my leg Something I should ask about Can I sniff the pit stains on your blouse? And do I creep you Do I creep you out? Your restraining order's out Still the only question with me now (oh, the only question) Is do I creep you out? (is do I creep you out?) Know exactly where you live now Followed you from work back to your house (Followed you from work back to your house) Well, do I creep you out? Do I creep you out? |
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| 11. |
| 10:50 |
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Seven O'clock in the evening
Watchin somethin' stupid on TV I'm zoned out on the sofa When my wife comes in the room and sees me She says "Is this 'Behind the Music' With Lynard Skynard?" And I say "I don't know. Say, it's gettin' late...what you wanna do for dinner? She says "I kinda had a big lunch. So I'm not super hungry." I said "Well you know, baby, I'm not starvin' either But I could eat." She said "So what do you have in mind?" I said "I don't know what about you?" She said "I don't care, if you're hungry, let's eat." I said "That's what we're gonna do!" "But first you gotta tell me What it is you're hungry for!" And she says "Let me think... ...What's left in our refrigerator?" I said "Well, there's tuna, I know." She said "That went bad a week ago!" I said "Is the chili OK?" She said "You finished that yesterday!" I hopped up and I said "I don't know, do you want to get something delivered?" She's like "Why would I want to eat liver? I don't even like liver!" I'm like "No, I said 'delivered'." She's like "I heard you say liver!" I'm like "I should know what I said..." She's like "Whatever, I just don't want any liver!" Well I was gonna say something But my cell phone started to ring Now who could be callin' me? Well I checked my caller ID It was just cousin Larry Callin' for the third time today... My wife said "Let it go to voicemail." I said, "OK." "Where were we? Oh, Dinner, Right So what d'ya want to do?" She said "Why don't you whip up somethin in the kitchen?" "Yeah," I said, "Why don't you?" And then she said "Baby, can't we just go out to dinner, please?" I says "No" She says "Yes" I says "No" She says "Yes" I says "No" She says "Yes... ...Oh, here's your keys" I step a little bit closer Say "OK, where ya want to go?" She says "How about The Ivy?" I said "Yeah, well I don't know..." I don't feel like gettin all dressed up And eatin' expensive food She's says "Olive Garden?" I say "Nah, I'm not in the mood... ...And Burrito King would make me gassy There's no doubt" She says "Just forget about it" I said "No, I swear I'm gonna take you out!" Then I get an idea I says "I know what we'll do!" She says "What?" I say "Guess" She says "What?" I say "We're goin' to the drive-thru!" So we head out the front door Open the garage door Then I open the car doors And we get in those car doors Put my key in the ignition And then I turn it sideways Then we fasten our seat belts As we pull out the driveway Then we drive to the drive-thru Heading off to the drive-thru We're approaching the drive-thru Getting close to the drive-thru! Almost there at the drive-thru Now we're here at the drive thru Here in line at the drive-thru Did I mention the drive-thru? Well here we are In the drive-thru line, me and her. Cars in front of us, cars in back of us. All just waiting to order There's some idiot in a Volvo With his brights on behind me I lean out the window and scream "Hey, What you trying to do, blind me?" My wife says "Maybe we should park... ...We could just go eat inside." I said "I'm wearin' bunny slippers So I ain't leavin' this ride..." Now a woman on a speaker box Is sayin' "Can I take your order, please?" I said "Yes indeed, you certainly can We'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese." Then my wife says "Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind! I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich Instead, this time" I said "You always get a cheeseburger!" She says "That's not what I'm hungry for." I put my head in my hands and screamed, "I don't know who you are anymore!" The voice on the speaker says "I don't have all day!" I said "Then, take our order, And we'll be on our way! I wanna get a chicken sandwich And I want a cheeseburger, too She's like "You want onions on that?" I'm like "Yeah, I already said that I do... ...Plus we need curly fries And don't you dare forget it! And two medium root beers No, just one, we'll split it." Then I said "I'm guessin' that You're probably not too bright... So read me back my order Let's make sure you got it right." She says "One, you want a chicken sandwich. Two, you want a cheeseburger Three, curly fries, and a large root beer" "Stop, don't go no further!" "I never ordered a large rootbeer I said medium, not large!" Then she says "We're havin' a special, I supersized you at no charge." "Oh." And that's all I could say, was "Oh." And she says "Now there is somethin' else That I really think you should know. You can have unlimited refills For just a quarter more..." I say "Great, except we're in the drive thru... So what would I want that for?" Then she says "Wait a minute Your voice sounds so familiar...hey, is this Paul? And my wife is all like "No, that ain't Paul, Now tell me, who's this Paul? She says "Oh, he's just some guy Who goes to school with me. I sat behind him last year And I copied off him in Geometry. I said "I know a guy named Paul. He used to be my plumber He was prematurely bald And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer. He also had bladder problems And a really bad infection on his toe." And she said "Mister, please, you can stop right there, That's way more than I needed to know!" And then we both were quiet And things got real intense Then she says "Next window please, That'll be five dollars and eighty two cents." So we inched ahead in line Movin' painfully slow I got a little bored So I turned on the radio... <i>[Song plays]</i> <i>[Click]</i> Turned it off Because my wife was getting a headache So we both just sat there quietly For her sake. Then I looked at her And she looked back at me And I said "Um, I think you have somethin' in your teeth." She turned away from me And then turned back and said "Did I get it?" I said "Yeah. Well, I mean, most of it... But hey, ya know, don't sweat it." Then she said "How about now?" I said "Yeah, almost. There's still a little bit there But don't worry, it's probably just a piece of toast." Now we're at the pay window Or whatever you call it Put my hand in my pocket I can't believe there's no wallet! And the lady at the window's like, "Well, well that'll be five eighty two." I turn around to my wife, and say "How much have you got on you?" She just rolls her eyes and says "I'll pay for this, I guess." So she reaches into her purse And busts out the American Express I hand it to the lady And she says "Oh, dear. It's gotta be cash only We don't take credit cards here." I took back the card and said "Gee, really? Well that sucks." And that's when I found out My wife was only carryin' three bucks. I said "I thought you were Going to hit the ATM today" She says "I never got around to it So where's your wallet anyway? And I said "Nevermind, Just help me to find some change..." Now the lady at the window Is lookin at me kinda strange... And she says "Mister, please, We gotta move this line along" I said "Now hold your stinkin' horses lady, We won't be long." We looked around inside the glove-box And check the mat beneath my feet I found a nickel in the ashtray And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between he seats Before long I had a little pile Of coins of every sort The lady counts it up and says "You're still about a dollar short" And now my woman's got this weird look Frozen on her face She screams, "you know I wasn't even really hungry in the first place" And so I turned around To the cashier again I shrugged and said "OK Forget the chicken sandwich then" So I pick up my change Pick up my receipt And I drive to the pickup window Man, I just can't wait to eat And now we see this acne ridden Kid about sixteen Wearin' a dorky nametag that says "Hello, my name is Eugene." And he hands me a paper bag I look him in the eyes And I say to him "Hey, Eugene, Can I get some ketchup for my fries?" Well he looks at me And I look at him And he looks at me And I look at him And he looks at me And I look at him And he says "I'm sorry What did you want again?" I say "Ketchup!" And he says "Oh yeah, that's right... ...I just spaced out there for a second I'm really kind of burnt tonight." And then he hands me the ketchup And now we're finally drivin' away And the food is drivin' me mad With its intoxicating bouquet I'm starvin' to death By the time we pull up at the traffic light I say "Baby, gimme that burger, I just gotta have a bite!" So she reaches in the bag And pulls out the burger And she hands me the burger And I pick up the burger And then I unwrap the paper I bite into those buns And I just can't believe it They forgot the onions! |
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once in a while maybe you will feel the urge to break... international copyright laws by downloading MP3's from file sharing sites like morpheus or crocster or limewire or kazaa cuz deep in your heart you know the guilt would drive you mad and the shame would leave a permanent scar cuz you start out stealing songs then you're robbing liquor stores and selling crack and running over school kids with your car [chorus] so don't download this song the record store's where you belong go and buy the CD like you know that you should oh, don't download this song oh, you don't wanna mess with the R-I double A they'll sue you if you burn that CD-R it doesn't matter if you're a grandma or a seven year old girl they'll treat you like the evil hard-bitten criminal scum you are [chorus] so don't download this song don't go pirating music all day long go and buy the CD like you know that you should oh, don't download this song don't take away money from artists just like me how else can i afford another solid-gold humvee? and diamond-studded swimming pools these things don't grow on trees so all i ask is "everybody--please!!" [chorus] don't download this song (dont do it, no no) even lars ulrich knows its wrong (you can just ask him) go and buy the CD like you know that you should (you really should) oh, dont download this song dont download this song (oh please dont you do it) or you might wind up in jail like Tommy Chong (yeah how bout Tommy?) go and buy the CD like you know that you should (go on buy it) oh dont download this song dont download this song (no no no no no no) or you'll burn in hell before too long (and you'll deserve it) go and buy the CD like you know that you should (go on buy it) *fades out* |
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