Memory. It’s like departing from the realm of reality. Even with the free will and God-given dignity, people have come to an end where they face memories, which is followed by being trapped in agony. It is not easy to let go of the suppressed heart which was made not by anyone but by ourselves who are slaves of our past that shackle our memory. It will be nice if memory itself stays as it is but people tend to distort or embellish the depth of memories. I was lost and captured inside, not knowing where to exit or which path to take. We tend to lose our directions in life when we constantly go back to the memories that we hold back from the past because it only means that we are repeating it over and over again.
As these pieces of memories continues to take over, it looks as if the experiences from the past is again present, even though, it’s all new. It closes the door to the good and hiding the basis of what we have to see. In my mind where it’s like a deep gorge where there are dense forest of memories which can misrepresent me from the beginning. Under the shadow of this dense forest of memories, I find myself discouraged, broken down in tears. The memories that were like catastrophe in my heart adds another burden in my life. When I lose control in remembering or bringing up the unwanted memory, I fall into deep suffering. The endless loop of memories can come to an end when I find confirmation in our Father God who forgives our sin and the promise how He will never remember it.
The hardships and sufferings that people experience is from going through the memory trails of the gorge and when people realize God’s compassion over them to see the bright lights of the future ahead. You feel more alone when there is trouble itself and on top of that relationship problems and society issues. Sooner or later, the alienated feeling and the experience of aloneness leads to loneliness. And our soul longs for Jesus during this solitude. We miss Him. The more I cry out and deeply fall into His Words, I realize I am in deeper relationship with him. The quality time that we spend in Lord transforms all the memories of good and bad that I’ve been holding onto and fills with hope. The hope Lord has given me became a song to be played aloud, around. Lord is my enterprise and I pray that my hands that is rooted in His words will continue to praise him evermore ....
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