Christopher Hall

Voices whisper softly in the darkness
Cries of accusation, evil, lies
Voices echo - screaming, throbbing, laughing
Peel back my skull and look inside

Violent Mood Swings

Footsteps echo heavy off the pavement
Violence burning brighter in my eyes
Life within the flesh still diving deeper
and a random, victim businessman will die

Violent Mood Swings

Someone screaming softly in the distance
I run to seek my refuge from the light
until the darkness once more falls upon me
I'll kill again to live another night

Violent Mood Swings

Haunting Me
by Stabbing Westward



Everywhere I go I see your face
Every sound I hear is
the sound of your voice
Why are you haunting me
Why are you haunting me
Why can't I let you go
Why are you haunting me?
Why are you haunting me?
Why are you haunting me?
Why are you haunting me?

Everything about me is a lie
At least it seems that way
when I look in your eyes
The truth scares the shit out of me
Whoever said love is real
and love is blind
has never felt the way that I do

What does it matter?
What's done is done
and I should get on with my life
Why are you haunting me?
Why are you haunting me?
Why are you haunting me?
Why are you haunting me?

Well, I don't know what it means
But I can't seem to make myself forget
Was it something that you said
Was it all the guilt inside my head

Why are you haunting me?
Why are you haunting me?
Why are you haunting me?
Why are you haunting me?
Why are you haunting me?
Why are you haunting me?

There are times when I'm just a shell
When I do not feel anything for anyone
All I feel is hollow and bruised
Used up and misused
Forced to be someone I don't want to be
Have I failed somehow or some way
Will the weight of today finally pull me down to drown
In the depths of despair
Where I am alone
Except for my rage

My rage
My pain
I hate my darkest days
My rage
My pain
I hate my darkest days
My rage
My pain
I hate my darkest days
My rage
My pain
I hate my darkest days
My darkest days

I know the tears you're ctying in your bed at night alone
I've cried those tears a thousand times
But those shallow empty songs about suicide are patronizing
You've got to learn to face your fears

Or do you think I'll be less lonely when I'm dead
It can't silence all the voices in my head
I close my eyes but I can't make it go away...
Do you think I'll be less lonely when I'm dead
When I'm dead

I know the songs you're singing saying nothing loud and clear
I've heard that song a thousand times
But your noble empty lies about suicide are patronizing
You can never understand what I feel

Or do you think I'll be less lonely when I'm dead
It can't silence all the voices in my head
I close my eyes but I can't make it go away...
Do you think I'll be less
God I pray I'm less lonely when I'm dead
When I'm dead

Every time I think of you
I feel shot right through with a bolt of blue
It's no problem of mine but it's a problem I find
Living a life that I can't leave behind
There's no sense in telling me
The wisdom of a fool won't set you free
But that's the way that it goes
And it's what nobody knows
While every day my confusion grows
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say

I feel fine and I feel good
I'm feeling like I never should
Whenever I get this way, I just don't know what to say
Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday
I'm not sure what this could mean
I don't think you're what you seem
I do admit to myself
That if I hurt someone else
Then I'll never see just what we're meant to be
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say

Lost in a world of doubt and insecurity
Nothing that you hold sacred, nothing you believe
Your life is a contradiction
While you thrive on manipulation
I fight to just hold on to what I believe

I won't become the thing I hate
I won't become the thing I hate
I won't become the thing I hate
I won't become you

You treated me like I'm a worthless piece of shit
You think you're in control but you make me sick
I want to watch you suffer
The way That you've made me suffer
I want to fuck up everything you've ever loved

I won't become the thing I hate
I won't become the thing I hate
I won't become the thing I hate
I won't become you
I won't become the thing I hate
I won't become the thing I hate
I won't become the thing I hate
I won't become the thing I hate
I won't become the thing I hate
I won't become you

I can't hide it, I can't fight it
When every nerve is crying out for release
I can't recapture
The rapture
That passion that is burning inside me
I've lost so much
Chasing the perfect high
I've lost so much
I've never been as high as I was with you
Never been so high
I've never been as high as I was with you
I finally realized that's a perfect high
That's a perfect high
This hunger consumed me
I lost my soul as you came rushing in my veins
A pathetic little junkie
But I'm the whore that needs it one last time
I've lost so much
Chasing the perfect high
I've lost so much
I've never been as high as I was with you
Never been so high
I've never been as high as I was with you
I finally realized that's a perfect high
That's a perfect high
I've never been as high as I was with you
Never been so high
I've never been as high as I was with you
I finally realized that's a perfect high
That's a perfect high
That's a perfect high
That's a perfect high
That's a perfect high

She's beem here so many times
Before she can't remember
When she last felt anything at all
But this fear and anger
She states intently at the door,
Listens for his footsteps
She knows exactly what's in store
And the knowing makes it worse
When he calls her daddy's little girl,
She doesn't keep him
And when he crushed her
She can't feel her screems are silent
Hides in the corner of her mind
Where she plays contentedly
She leaves this night more far behind
Escapes inside her dreams

Floating high above her bed
Staring at her father's head
Wishing one of them were dead
So this hell could finally end

I'm feeling that weight of the world and It's crushing me
I'm feeling the weight of everyday life And it's crushing me
How much more will it take? How much more until it breaks me?
This world...is crushing me
I'm feeling the hate of the world and it's crashing me
I'm feeling the hate of everyday life And it's crushing me
How much more will it take?
How much more until it breaks me?
This world is crushing me

I'm feeling the hate of the world and it's crashing me
I swallow the hate, betrayed and lies
Swallow it whole and shove it deep down inside of me
I'm feeling the weight of the world and it's crushing me

I swallow the hate, betrayed and lies
Swallow it whole and shove it deep down inside of me
How much more will it take?
How much more until it breaks me?
This world is crushing me

wasted thoughts of you

desperate prayers to you

give me back my mind

I'm empty inside
And it's so wrong that I need you
it's so wrong that I need abuse
And it's so wrong that I need you
so wrong that I'm scared I'll die alone

what have I become?

everything's undone

a candle burns here in your honor
my soul, a shrine i've built for you
there's nothing left inside me
nothing left inside but you
And it's so wrong that I need you
it's so wrong that I need abuse
it's so wrong that I need you
so wrong that I'm scared I'll die alone

can't seem to pretend
this night needs to end
I can't fill this hole
you are all i know
And it's so wrong that I need you
it's so wrong that I need abuse
And it's so wrong that I need you
so wrong that I'm scared I'll die alone

I'm tangled and broken
Left scattered on the floor
Its useless now
There pieces
Can never make me whole
This is where it falls apart
You wither
You blister
I watch you burn and peal
It's not like you
Can save me
It's not like you even care
This is where it falls apart

I feel helpless as my everything comes
Crashing down on me
This is where it falls apart
This is where it falls apart

I feel your lips
I taste your skin
I need to know
I need to feel you from within
As your blood burns through my skin
I feel complete
I breathe you in
It's where you end and I begin
If only I could stay here...forever
So much to tell you
So much to confide
Now that I'm inside you
We are flesh
We are one
So why do I feel so much guilt for what I've done?
As your blood burns through my skin
I feel release
I breathe you in
It's where you end and I begin
If I could only stay here...forever
So much to tell you
So much to give you
So much to confide
Now that I'm inside you
inside you

I am not here
I think I've never been here at all or ever will be
I feel like a place
Where no one goes anymore
Why can't you see that everything's
Why does it seem this life's broken? turned gray?
I can't believe in anything sacred
When I don't believe that I am real
It seems so bizarre
But none of this matters
Thoughts disappear, hope has died
Now I am safe, nothing can hurt me here
Why can't you see my need for forgiveness?
The truth and the lies confused as one
I can't believe in anything sacred
When I don't believe in anything
I am alone
Locked in my memories
Why does it seem that everything's different?
Why does it seem that only you are real?
I don't believe in anything sacred
So, why do I feel so damned alone?
I need someone to break the silence
That's screaming in my head
And in my soul

you make it hard to breathe
it's as if I'm suffocating
and when you're next to me
I can feel your heartbeat through my skin
it makes me sad to think
this could all be for nothing
I wish there was a way
a way for you to see inside me
I've never felt this way
about anyone or anything
Tell me!
what do I have to do
to make you happy?
what do i have to do
to make you understand?
what do i have to do
to make you want me?
and if I can't make you want me
what do i have to do?

I know exactly what you're thinking
but I swear this time I will not let you down
I'm not as selfish as I used to be
that was a part of me that never made me proud
right now I think I would try anything
anything at all to keep you satisfied
God I hope you see what losing you would do to me
all I want is one more chance, tell me
what do I have to do
to make you happy?
what do i have to do
to make you understand?
what do i have to do
to make you want me?
and if I can't make you want me
what do i have to do?

what do I have to do
to make you happy?
what do i have to do
to make you understand?
what do i have to do
to make you want me?
and if I can't make you want me
what do i have to do

If only see myself
reflected in your eyes
So all that I believe
I am essentially are lies
And everything
I've hoped to be or ever thought
I Died with your belief
in me so who that hell am I?
I don't know if I'm real without you
What is left of me without you?
I don't know whats real without you
How can I exist without you?

I'm wondering 'round confused
Wondering why I try
The more that you deny my pain
The more it intensifies...
I need someone to ache
for me the way I ache for you...
If you ignore that I'm alive
I've nothing to cling to
I don't know if I'm real without you
What is left of me without you?
I don't know whats real without you
How can I exist without you?

I stare in this mirror
So tired of this life
If only you would speak to me
or care if I'm alive
Once I swore I would die for you
But I never meant it like this
I never meant like this
no i never meant like this
I don't know if I'm real without you
What is left of me without you?
I don't know whats real without you
How can I exist without you?

I'm such an asshole
God, I'm such a stain
I just keep fucking up again and again
I Don't Believe I Don't Believe
That I could be so stupid and so naive
I Don't Believe I Don't Believe
That there is nothing, nothing left for me
You crawled into my mind
when you crawled into my bed
Said everyhting I've ever longed to hear
So perfect, so alive,
once inside you sucked me dry
Used me up and left me here for dead
I don't believe
That I could be so stupid and so naive
I don't believe
That there is nothing, nothing left for me
I crave it desperately, a cancer eating me
An addiction too intense to be denied
Worthless, I'm a whore,
crawling back for more
It's pathertic how I feed off this abuse
I don't believe
That I could be so stupid and so naive
I don't believe
That there is nothing, nothing left for me

You told me that you loved me
And I believed, you loved me
You swore that you loved me, and I believed
Now I know it was a lie

I don't believe
That I could be so stupid and so naive
I don't believe
That there is nothing, nothing left for me
I don't believe
That I could be so stupid and so naive
I don't believe
That there is nothing, nothing left for me

Sit alone, contemplating
What is missing inside me
I desperately try to remember
A life that's not meant to be
I meditate and try to recapture
Some sense of reality
But I look around
I've seen numb empty faces
The world is waiting to die
And this apathy is so suffocating
The slow decay of my mind
I've searched the world
For someone with answers
The questions that are plagueing me
I scream in vain at anyone who'll listen
But everybody's watching TV
Is anyone alive?
But am I lost in a world where nothing matters?
Am I lost in a world where no one cares?
Is anyone alive?
Is anyone alive?
But are we lost in a world where nothing matters?
Are we lost in a world where no one cares?
Is anyone alive?
Is anyone alive?