Kid Creole & The Coconuts

There's a gentleman that's going round
Turning the joint upside down
Stool Pigeon - ha-cha-cha-cha
He's an old ex-con that's been away
Now he's back, no one's safe
Stool Pigeon - ha-cha-cha-cha

If you wanna squeal, said the FBI
We can make a deal, make it worth your while
So he told it all and in return
He got a credit card and a Thunderbird
And the maximum security
Even after plastic surgery
So go on and squeal, said the FBI
We can make a deal, make it worth your while

There's a gentleman that's going round
Turning the joint upside down
Stool Pigeon - ha-cha-cha-cha
He's an old ex-con that's been away
Now he's back, no one's safe
Stool Pigeon - ha-cha-cha-cha

After all the talk then they wired him
And he took a walk with his crooked friends
And they joked about the good old days
And he recorded it on a reel of tape
He caught the mug who did in the forgery
And the babe in charge of larceny
So the FBI they rewarded him
Because they like a guy who will stab a friend

There's a gentleman that's going round
Turning the joint upside down
Stool Pigeon - ha-cha-cha-cha
He's an old ex-con that's been away
Now he's back, no one's safe
Stool Pigeon - ha-cha-cha-cha

There's a gentleman that's going round ....

If you wanna squeal, said the FBI
We can make a deal, make it worth your while
So he told it all and in return
He got a credit card and a Thunderbird
He got a spanking new identity
And a condo down in Miami
He bought a plane, a boat and jewelry
But he couldn't buy any company

There's a gentleman that's going round ....
There's a gentleman that's going round ....

Endicott's up by 5 o'clock
Endicott's givin' it all he got
Endicott's job is six to nine but
Endicott's home by nine O five
Endicott helps to cook the steak
Endicott helps to wash the plates
Endicott puts the kids to bed
Endicott reads a book to them
(Why cant you be like Endicott?)
Endicott loves Tribena so
Endicott puts her on a pedestal
Endicott's wish is her command but
Endicott don't make no demands
Endicott's always back in time
Endicott's not the cheatin' kind
Endicott's full of compliment
Endicott's such a gentleman
(Why cant you be like Endicott?)
Cause I'm free
Free of any made-to-order liabilities
Thank God I'm free
Cos it's hard enough for me
To take care of me, oh-oh
Endicott's carryin' a heavy load but
Endicott never really ever moans
Endicott's not a wealthy guy but
Endicott pays the bills on time
Endicott's got ideas and plans
Endicott's what you call a real man
Endicott always will provide 'cause
Endicott is the family type
(Why cant you be like Endicott?)
Cause I'm free
Freer than a pirate on a frigate out at sea
Thank God I'm free
Driftin' all around just like a tumbleweed, oh-oh
Maybe I need someone
Someone who isn't undone
Maybe an older woman
Will tolerate me
Maybe that certain someone
Older and wiser woman
Maybe the perfect someone
To satisfy me
Endicott keeps his body clean
Endicott don't use nicotine
Endicott don't drink alcohol
Endicott use no drugs at all
Endicott don't eat any sweet
Endicott don't eat pig feet
Endicott's frame is mighty strong
Endicott make love hard and long
(Why cant you be like Endicott?)
Endicott loves Tribena so
Endicott walks her to the sto'
Endicott likes to hold her hand
Endicott's proud to be her man
Endicott stands for decency
Endicott means formality
Endicott's the epitome
Endicott stands for quality
Endicott
Endicott
Endicott
Endicott
Our love will be...

There's a gentleman that's going round
Turning the joint upside down
Stool Pigeon - ha-cha-cha-cha
He's an old ex-con that's been away
Now he's back, no one's safe
Stool Pigeon - ha-cha-cha-cha

If you wanna squeal, said the FBI
We can make a deal, make it worth your while
So he told it all and in return
He got a credit card and a Thunderbird
And the maximum security
Even after plastic surgery
So go on and squeal, said the FBI
We can make a deal, make it worth your while

There's a gentleman that's going round
Turning the joint upside down
Stool Pigeon - ha-cha-cha-cha
He's an old ex-con that's been away
Now he's back, no one's safe
Stool Pigeon - ha-cha-cha-cha

After all the talk then they wired him
And he took a walk with his crooked friends
And they joked about the good old days
And he recorded it on a reel of tape
He caught the mug who did in the forgery
And the babe in charge of larceny
So the FBI they rewarded him
Because they like a guy who will stab a friend

There's a gentleman that's going round
Turning the joint upside down
Stool Pigeon - ha-cha-cha-cha
He's an old ex-con that's been away
Now he's back, no one's safe
Stool Pigeon - ha-cha-cha-cha

There's a gentleman that's going round ....

If you wanna squeal, said the FBI
We can make a deal, make it worth your while
So he told it all and in return
He got a credit card and a Thunderbird
He got a spanking new identity
And a condo down in Miami
He bought a plane, a boat and jewelry
But he couldn't buy any company

There's a gentleman that's going round ....
There's a gentleman that's going round ....