Stephen Sondheim

APRIL, KATHY, MARTA:
Doo-doo-doo-doo!
Doo-doo-doo-doo!
Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo!

You could drive a person crazy,
You could drive a person mad.
First you make a person hazy
So a person could be had,
Then you leave a person dangling sadly
Outside your door,
Which could only make a person gladly
Want you even more.

I could understand a person
If it's not a person's bag.
I could understand a person
If a person was a fag.
But worse 'n that,
A person that
Titillates a person and then leaves her flat
Is crazy,
He's a troubled person,
He's a truly crazy person himself.

KATHY:
When a person's personality is personable,
He should not sit like a lump.
It's harder than a matador coercin' a bull
To try to get you off of your rump.
So single and attentive and attractive a man
Is everything a person could wish,
But turning off a person is the act of a man
Who likes to pull the hooks out of fish.

APRIL, KATHY, MARTA:
Knock-knock! Is anybody there?
Knock-knock! It really isn't fair.
Knock-knock! I'm workin' all my charms.
Knock-knock! A zombie's in my arms.

All that sweet affection!
What is wrong?
Where's the loose connection?
How long, O Lord, how long?
Bobby-baby-Bobby-bubbi-Bobby,

You could drive a person buggy,
You could blow a person's cool.
Like you make a person feel all huggy
While you make her feel a fool.

When a person says that you upset her,
That's when you're good.
You impersonate a person better
Than a zombie should.
I could understand a person
If he wasn't good in bed.
I could understand a person
If he actually was dead.

Exclusive you!
Elusive you!
Will any person ever get the juice of you?
You're crazy,
You're a lovely person,
You're a moving,
Deeply malajusted,
Never to be trusted,
Crazy person yourself.
Bobby is my hobby and I'm givin' it up!

MRS. LOVETT:

Easy now,
Hush, love, hush,
Don't distress yourself,
What's your rush?
Keep your thoughts
Nice and lush,
Wait.

Hush, love, hush,
Think it through.
Once it bubbles, then
What's to do?
Watch it close.
Let it brew.
Wait.

I've been thinkin' flowers,
Maybe daisies,
To brighten up the room!
Don't you think some flowers,
Pretty daisies,
Might relieve the gloom?
Ah, wait,
Love, wait.

TODD: (spoken) And the judge? When will I get to him?

LOVETT:
Can't you think of nothin' else?
Always broodin' away on your wrongs
what happened heaven knows how many years ago!

Slow, love, slow.
Time's so fast.
Now goes quickly, see
Now it's past!
Soon will come,
Soon will last.
Wait.

Don't you know,
Silly man?
Half the fun is to
Plan the plan!
All good things
Come to those who can
Wait.

Gillyflowers, maybe,
'Stead of daisies...
I dunno though...
What do you think?

[Thanks to Jill Murdoch for lyrics]

Wait!
What's your rush? What's your hurry?
You gave me such a --
Fright, I thought you was a ghost!
Half a minute, can'tcher sit!
Sit you down, sit!
All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer for weeks!
Did you come here for a pie, sir?
Do forgive me if me head's a little vague --
Ugh! What is that?
But you think we had the plague!
From the way that people
Keep avoiding --
No you don't!
Heaven knows I try, sir!
Ick!
But there's no one comes in even to inhale!
Right you are, sir, would you like a drop of ale?
Mind you, I can't hardly blame them!
These are probably the worst pies in London!
I know why nobody cares to take them,
I should know,
I make them,
But good? No!
The worst pies in London,
Even that's polite!
The worst pies in London,
If you doubt it, take a bite!
Is that just disgusting?
You have to concede it!
It's nothing but crusting!
Here, drink this, you'll need it!
The worst pies in London...
And no wonder with the price of meat
What it is
When you get it
Never
Thought I'd live to see the day
Men'd think it was a treat
Findin' poor
Animals
Wot are dyin' in the street!
Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop!
Does a business but I notice something weird.
Lately all her neighbors' cats have disappeared!
Have to hand it to her
Wot I calls
Enterprise
Poppin' pussies into pies!
Wouldn't do in my shop!
Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick!
And I'm tellin' you, them pussycats is quick!
No denying times is hard, sir
Even harder than the worst pies in London!
Only lard and nothing more
Is that just revolting,
All greasy and gritty?
It looks like it's molting,
And tastes like,
Well, pity

JOANNE: It's the little things you do together,
Do together,
Do together
That make perfect relationships.
The hobbies you pursue together,
Savings you accrue together,
Looks you misconstrue together
That make marriage a joy.
Mmhmm...

It's the little things you share together,
Swear together,
Wear together
That make perfect relationships.
The concerts you enjoy together,
Neighbors you annoy together,
Children you destroy together
That keep marriage intact.

It's not so hard to be married
When two maneuver as one.
It's not so hard to be married,
And Jesus Christ, is it fun.

It's sharing little winks together,
Drinks together,
Kinks together
That make marriage a joy.
The bargains that you shop together,
Cigarettes you stop together,
Clothing that you swap together
That make perfect relationships.
Uh huh
Mmhmm...

FRIENDS: It's not talk of God and the decade ahead that
Allows you to get through the worst.
It's, "I do," and, "You don't," and, "Nobody said that,"
And, "Who brought the subject up first?"

It's the little things...
The little things, the little things, the little things.
The little ways you try together,
Cry together,
Lie together
That make perfect relationships.
Becoming a cliche together,
Growing old and gray together

JOANNE: Withering away together

FRIENDS: That make marriage a joy.

HUSBANDS: It's not so hard to be married

WIVES: It's much the simplest of crimes

HUSBANDS: It's not so hard to be married

JOANNE: I've done it three or four times.

JENNY: It's people that you hate together

AMY & PAUL: Bait together

PETER & SUSAN: Date together

FRIENDS: That make marriage a joy.

DAVID: It's things like using force together

LARRY: Shouting till you're hoarse together

JOANNE: Getting a divorce together

FRIENDS: That make perfect relationships.

Uh huh
Kiss kiss
Mmhmm...

I'd like to propose a toast.
Here's to the ladies who lunch.
Everybody laugh.
Lounging in their caftans and planning a brunch.
On their own behalf.
Off to the gym, then to a fitting.
Claiming they're fat and looking grim
Cause they've been sitting choosing a hat.
Does anyone still wear a hat?
I'll drink to that.

And here's to the girls who play smart-
Aren't they a gas?
Rushing to their classes in optical art,
Wishing it would pass.
Another long exhausting day,
Another thousand dollars.
A matinee, a Pinter play,
Perhaps a piece of Mahler's.
I'll drink to that.
And one for Mahler!

And here's to the girls who play wife-
Aren't they too much?
Keeping house but clutching a copy of LIFE,
Just to keep in touch.
The ones who follow the rules,
And meet themselves at the schools,
Too busy to know that they're fools,
Aren't they a gem?
I'll drink to them.
Let's all drink to them.

And here's to the girls who just watch-
Aren't they the best?
When they get depressed
It's a bottle of scotch,
Plus a little jest.
Another chance to disapprove
Another brilliant singer.
Another reason not to move
Another vodka stinger.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!
I'll drink to that.

So here's to the girls on the go-
Everybody tries.
Look into their eyes and you'll see what they know.
Everybody dies.
A toast to that invincible bunch.
The dinosaur surviving the crunch.
Let's hear it for the ladies who lunch-
Everybody rise!
Rise!
Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise!
Rise!

MRS. LOVETT:

There was a barber and his wife,
And he was beautiful
A proper artist with a knife,
But they transported him for life.
And he was beautiful...

(spoken) Barker, his name was. Benjamin Barker.
TODD: What was his crime?
LOVETT: Foolishness.

He had this wife, y'see,
Pretty little thing,
Silly little nit,
Had her chance for the moon on a string.
Poor thing.
Poor thing.
There were these two, y'see,
Wanted her like mad,
One of 'em a judge, t'other one his beadle!
Every day they'd nudge and they'd wheedle!
But she wouldn't budge from her needle!
Too bad,
Pure thing.
So they merely shipped the poor blighter off south, they did,
Leavin' 'er with nothing but grief and a year-old kid!
Did she use her head even then? Oh no, God forbid!
Poor fool!
Ah, but there was worse yet to come, poor thing...

(spoken) Johanna... That was the baby's name, pretty little Johanna.
TODD: Go on.
LOVETT: My, you do like a good story, don't you?

Well, Beadle calls on her all polite,
Poor thing,
Poor thing!
The judge, he tells her is all contrite,
He blames himself for her dreadful plight,
She must come straight to his house tonight,
Poor thing,
Poor thing!

Of course when she goes there, poor thing, poor thing,
They're 'avin' this ball all in masks!
There's no one she knows there, poor dear, poor thing!
She wanders tormented and drinks, poor thing!
The judge has repented, she thinks, poor thing!
'Oh, where is Judge Turpin,' she asks...
'E was there alright,
Only not so contrite!

She wasn't no match for such craft, y'see,
And everyone thought it so droll.
They figured she had to be daft, y'see,
So all of them stood there and laughed, y'see!
Poor soul!
Poor thing!

MRS. LOVETT:

There was a barber and his wife,
And he was beautiful
A proper artist with a knife,
But they transported him for life.
And he was beautiful...

(spoken) Barker, his name was. Benjamin Barker.
TODD: What was his crime?
LOVETT: Foolishness.

He had this wife, y'see,
Pretty little thing,
Silly little nit,
Had her chance for the moon on a string.
Poor thing.
Poor thing.
There were these two, y'see,
Wanted her like mad,
One of 'em a judge, t'other one his beadle!
Every day they'd nudge and they'd wheedle!
But she wouldn't budge from her needle!
Too bad,
Pure thing.
So they merely shipped the poor blighter off south, they did,
Leavin' 'er with nothing but grief and a year-old kid!
Did she use her head even then? Oh no, God forbid!
Poor fool!
Ah, but there was worse yet to come, poor thing...

(spoken) Johanna... That was the baby's name, pretty little Johanna.
TODD: Go on.
LOVETT: My, you do like a good story, don't you?

Well, Beadle calls on her all polite,
Poor thing,
Poor thing!
The judge, he tells her is all contrite,
He blames himself for her dreadful plight,
She must come straight to his house tonight,
Poor thing,
Poor thing!

Of course when she goes there, poor thing, poor thing,
They're 'avin' this ball all in masks!
There's no one she knows there, poor dear, poor thing!
She wanders tormented and drinks, poor thing!
The judge has repented, she thinks, poor thing!
'Oh, where is Judge Turpin,' she asks...
'E was there alright,
Only not so contrite!

She wasn't no match for such craft, y'see,
And everyone thought it so droll.
They figured she had to be daft, y'see,
So all of them stood there and laughed, y'see!
Poor soul!
Poor thing!

MRS. LOVETT:

There was a barber and his wife,
And he was beautiful
A proper artist with a knife,
But they transported him for life.
And he was beautiful...

(spoken) Barker, his name was. Benjamin Barker.
TODD: What was his crime?
LOVETT: Foolishness.

He had this wife, y'see,
Pretty little thing,
Silly little nit,
Had her chance for the moon on a string.
Poor thing.
Poor thing.
There were these two, y'see,
Wanted her like mad,
One of 'em a judge, t'other one his beadle!
Every day they'd nudge and they'd wheedle!
But she wouldn't budge from her needle!
Too bad,
Pure thing.
So they merely shipped the poor blighter off south, they did,
Leavin' 'er with nothing but grief and a year-old kid!
Did she use her head even then? Oh no, God forbid!
Poor fool!
Ah, but there was worse yet to come, poor thing...

(spoken) Johanna... That was the baby's name, pretty little Johanna.
TODD: Go on.
LOVETT: My, you do like a good story, don't you?

Well, Beadle calls on her all polite,
Poor thing,
Poor thing!
The judge, he tells her is all contrite,
He blames himself for her dreadful plight,
She must come straight to his house tonight,
Poor thing,
Poor thing!

Of course when she goes there, poor thing, poor thing,
They're 'avin' this ball all in masks!
There's no one she knows there, poor dear, poor thing!
She wanders tormented and drinks, poor thing!
The judge has repented, she thinks, poor thing!
'Oh, where is Judge Turpin,' she asks...
'E was there alright,
Only not so contrite!

She wasn't no match for such craft, y'see,
And everyone thought it so droll.
They figured she had to be daft, y'see,
So all of them stood there and laughed, y'see!
Poor soul!
Poor thing!

MRS. LOVETT:

There was a barber and his wife,
And he was beautiful
A proper artist with a knife,
But they transported him for life.
And he was beautiful...

(spoken) Barker, his name was. Benjamin Barker.
TODD: What was his crime?
LOVETT: Foolishness.

He had this wife, y'see,
Pretty little thing,
Silly little nit,
Had her chance for the moon on a string.
Poor thing.
Poor thing.
There were these two, y'see,
Wanted her like mad,
One of 'em a judge, t'other one his beadle!
Every day they'd nudge and they'd wheedle!
But she wouldn't budge from her needle!
Too bad,
Pure thing.
So they merely shipped the poor blighter off south, they did,
Leavin' 'er with nothing but grief and a year-old kid!
Did she use her head even then? Oh no, God forbid!
Poor fool!
Ah, but there was worse yet to come, poor thing...

(spoken) Johanna... That was the baby's name, pretty little Johanna.
TODD: Go on.
LOVETT: My, you do like a good story, don't you?

Well, Beadle calls on her all polite,
Poor thing,
Poor thing!
The judge, he tells her is all contrite,
He blames himself for her dreadful plight,
She must come straight to his house tonight,
Poor thing,
Poor thing!

Of course when she goes there, poor thing, poor thing,
They're 'avin' this ball all in masks!
There's no one she knows there, poor dear, poor thing!
She wanders tormented and drinks, poor thing!
The judge has repented, she thinks, poor thing!
'Oh, where is Judge Turpin,' she asks...
'E was there alright,
Only not so contrite!

She wasn't no match for such craft, y'see,
And everyone thought it so droll.
They figured she had to be daft, y'see,
So all of them stood there and laughed, y'see!
Poor soul!
Poor thing!

You're always sorry
You're always grateful
You're always wondering what might have been
Then she walks in

And still you're sorry
And still you're grateful
And still you wonder
And still you doubt
And she goes out

Everything's different
Nothing's changed
Only maybe slightly rearranged

You're sorry-grateful
Regretful-happy
Why look for answers
Where none occur?

You always are
What you always were
Which has nothing to do with
All to do with her

You're always sorry
You're always grateful
You hold her thinking
I'm not alone
You're still alone

You don't live for her
You do live with her
You're scared she's starting
To drift away
And scared she'll stay

Good things get better
Bad get worse
Wait, I think I meant that in reverse

You're sorry-grateful
Regretful-happy
Why look for answers
Where none occur
You'll always be
What you always were
Which has nothing to do with
All to do with her

Nothing to do with
All to do with her

ROBERT: Someone is waiting,
Cool as Sarah,
Easy and loving as Susan...
Jenny...

Someone is waiting,
Warm as Susan,
Frantic and touching as Amy...
Joanne...

Would I know her, even if I met her?
Have I missed her? Did I let her go?
A Susan sort of Sarah,
A Jennyish Joanne...
Wait for me, I'm ready now
I'll find you if I can!

Someone will hold me,
Soft as Jenny,
Skinny and blue-eyed as Amy...
Susan...

Someone will wake me,
Sweet as Amy,
Tender and foolish as Sarah...
Joanne...

Did I know her? Have I waited too long?
Maybe so...but maybe so has she.
My blue-eyed Sarah, warm Joanne,
Sweet Jenny, loving Susan,
Crazy Amy,
Wait for me...I'll hurry!
Wait for me...Hurry!
Wait for me...Hurry!
Wait for me...

Isn't it rich?
Are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground,
You in mid-air.
Send in the clowns.

Isn't it bliss?
Don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around,
One who can't move.
Where are the clowns?
Send in the clowns.

Just when I'd stopped
Opening doors,
Finally knowing
The one that I wanted was yours,
Making my entrance again
With my usual flair,
Sure of my lines,
No one is there.

Don't you love farce?
My fault, I fear.
I thought that you'd want what I want -
Sorry, my dear.
And where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns.
Don't bother, they're here.

Isn't it rich?
Isn't it queer?
Losing my timing this late
In my career?
And where are the clowns?
There ought to be clowns.
Well, maybe next year . . .

Pretty women
Fascinating...
Sipping coffee,
Dancing... pretty women
Pretty women
Are a wonder.
Pretty women!

Sitting in the window or
Standing on the stair
Something in them cheers the air.

Pretty women
Silhouetted...
Stay within you,
Glancing... stay forever,
Breathing lightly...
Pretty women,
Pretty women!

Blowing out their candles or
Combing out their hair,
Even when they leave
They still are there.
They're there

Ah! Pretty women, at their mirrors,
In their gardens,
Letter-writing,
Flower-picking,
Weather-watching.
How they make a man sing!

Proof of heaven as you're living,
Pretty women! Yes, pretty women!
Here's to pretty women,
Pretty women,
Pretty women,
Pretty women

MRS. LOVETT:

There was a barber and his wife,
And he was beautiful
A proper artist with a knife,
But they transported him for life.
And he was beautiful...

(spoken) Barker, his name was. Benjamin Barker.
TODD: What was his crime?
LOVETT: Foolishness.

He had this wife, y'see,
Pretty little thing,
Silly little nit,
Had her chance for the moon on a string.
Poor thing.
Poor thing.
There were these two, y'see,
Wanted her like mad,
One of 'em a judge, t'other one his beadle!
Every day they'd nudge and they'd wheedle!
But she wouldn't budge from her needle!
Too bad,
Pure thing.
So they merely shipped the poor blighter off south, they did,
Leavin' 'er with nothing but grief and a year-old kid!
Did she use her head even then? Oh no, God forbid!
Poor fool!
Ah, but there was worse yet to come, poor thing...

(spoken) Johanna... That was the baby's name, pretty little Johanna.
TODD: Go on.
LOVETT: My, you do like a good story, don't you?

Well, Beadle calls on her all polite,
Poor thing,
Poor thing!
The judge, he tells her is all contrite,
He blames himself for her dreadful plight,
She must come straight to his house tonight,
Poor thing,
Poor thing!

Of course when she goes there, poor thing, poor thing,
They're 'avin' this ball all in masks!
There's no one she knows there, poor dear, poor thing!
She wanders tormented and drinks, poor thing!
The judge has repented, she thinks, poor thing!
'Oh, where is Judge Turpin,' she asks...
'E was there alright,
Only not so contrite!

She wasn't no match for such craft, y'see,
And everyone thought it so droll.
They figured she had to be daft, y'see,
So all of them stood there and laughed, y'see!
Poor soul!
Poor thing!

Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around.
Nothing's gonna harm you, no sir, not while I'm around.

Demons are prowling everywhere, nowadays,
I'll send 'em howling,
I don't care, I got ways.

No one's gonna hurt you,
No one's gonna dare.
Others can desert you,
Not to worry, whistle, I'll be there.

Demons'll charm you with a smile, for a while,
But in time...
Nothing can harm you
Not while I'm around...

Being close and being clever
Ain't like being true
I don't need to,
I would never hide a thing from you,
Like some...

No one's gonna hurt you, no one's gonna dare
Others can desert you,
Not to worry, whistle, I'll be there!
Demons'll charm you with a smile, for a while
But in time...
Nothing can harm you
Not while I'm around...

Not a day goes by,
Not a single day
But you're somewhere a part of my life
And it looks like you'll stay.
As the days go by,
I keep thinking, "When does it end?
Where 's the day I'll have started forgetting?"
But I just go on
Thinking and sweating
And cursing and crying
And turning and reaching
And waking and dying

And no,
Not a day goes by,
Not a blessed day.
But you're still somewhere part of my life
And you won't go away.
So there's hell to pay.
And until I die
I'll die day after day
After day after day
After day after day
After day
Till the days go by
Till the days go by
Till the days go by

Antony

I have sailed the world
beheld its wonders
from the dardinells,
to the mountains of Peru,
But there's no place like London!
I feel home again...
I could hear the city bells ring...
Whatever would I do?
No there's...

Sweeney Todd

No place like London...

Antony (spoken)

Mr. Todd, sir

Sweeney Todd

You are young...
Life has been kind to you...
You will learn.
(Spoken) 'Tis here we go our seperate ways.
Farewell Antony.
I will not soon forget the good ship bountiful, nor the young man who saved my life.

Antony

(Spoken) There's no cause to thank me for that, sir.
It would have been a poor Christian indeed who would have spotted you
pinching and tossing on that raft and not given the alarm.

Sweeney Todd

(Spoken)
There's many a Christian would've done just that and not lost a winks sleep over it either.

Beggar Woman

(Sung) Alms, alms for a miserable woman, on a miserable chilly mornin'!
Thank ya, sir, thank ya...
How would ya like a little muff,
dear a little jig-jig,
a little bounce around the bush!
Wouldn't ya like to push me parsley?
It looks to me, dear, that you've got plenty there to push!
Alms, alms for a pitiful woman...
what's got wandering wits?
Hey! DOn't I know you, mister?

Sweeney Todd

Must you glare at me, woman?
Off with you!
Off I say!

Beggar Woman

Then how would ya like to split me muff?
Mister, we'll go jig-jig!
A little...

Sweeney Todd

Off I said!
To the devil with you!

Beggar Woman

Alms, alms for a pitiful woman!

Antony (Spoken)

Pardon me, sir, but there's no need to fear the likes of her,
she's only a half-crazed beggar woman...
London's full of them.

Sweeney Todd (spoken)

I beg your indulgance, boy, my mind is far from easy.
For in the once familiar streets I feel a chill of ghostly shadows everywhere.
Forgive me.

Antony (spoken)

There is nothing to forgive.

Sweeney Todd (spoken)

Farewell, Antony.

Antony (spoken)

Mr. Todd, before we part...

Sweeney Todd (spoken)

What is it?

Antony (spoken)

I have honored my promise never to question you.
Whatever brought you to that sorry shipwreck is your affair and yet, over
many weeks of our voyage home,
I've come to think of you as a friend,
and if trouble lies ahead for you in London, if you
need any help...or money.

Sweeney Todd (spoken)

No!
(sung)
There's a whole in the world like a great black pit
and the vermin of the world inhabit it
and its morals aren't worth what a pin can spit
and it goes by the name of London.
At the top of the hole sit the previlaged few
Making mock of the vermin in the lonely zoo
turning beauty to filth and greed...
I too have sailed the world and seen its wonders,
for the cruelty of men is as wonderous as Peru
but there's no place like London!
--
There was a barber and his wife
and she was beautiful...
a foolish barber and his wife.
She was his reason for his life...
and she was beautiful, and she was virtuous.
And he was nieve.
There was another man who saw
that she was beautiful...
A biased vulture of the law
who, with a gesture of his claw
removed the barber from his plate!
And there was nothing but to wait!
And she would fall!
So soft!
So young!
So lost and oh so beautiful!

Antony (spoken)

The lady, sir, did she, sir, come?

Sweeney Todd (sung)

Ah, that was many years ago...
I doubt if anyone would know.
(spoken)
Now leave me, Antony.
There is somewhere I must go,
something i must find out.
Now, and alone.

Antony (spoken)

But surely we will meet again before I am off to Plymouth?

Sweeney Todd (spoken)

If you want you may well find me around Fleet Street. I wouldn't wander.
(sung)
There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
and it's filled with people who are filled with shit!
And the vermin of the world inhabit it!

TODD:
These are my friends,
See how they glisten.
See this one shine,
How he smiles in the light,
My friends,
My faithful friends...

Speak to me, friend.
Whisper, I'll listen.
I know, I know
You've been locked out of sight
All these years!
Like me, my friend!
Well, I've come home
To find you waiting!
Home,
And we're together...
And we'll do wonders...
Won't we...?

[Simultaneously, for rest of song]
TODD:
You there, my friend,
Come, let me hold you.
Now, with a sigh,
You grow warm
In my hand...
My friend,
My clever friend...
LOVETT:
I'm your friend too, Mr. Todd.
If you only knew, Mr. Todd.
Ooh, Mr. Todd,
You're warm
In my hand...
You've come home...
Always had a fondness for you,
I did.

TODD:
Rest now, my friends.
Soon I'll unfold you.
Soon you'll know splendors
You never have dreamed
All your days,
My lucky friends.
Till now your shine
Was merely silver.
Friends,
You shall drip rubies,
You'll soon drip precious
Rubies...
LOVETT:
Never you fear, Mr. Todd.
You can move in here
Mr. Todd. Splendors
You never have dreamed
All your days
Will be yours!
I'm your friend,
And you're mine!
Don't they shine beautiful?
Silver's good enough for me,
Mr. T...

JOHANNA (Sings):
He means to marry me Monday,
What shall I do? I'd rather die.
ANTHONY (Sings):
I have a plan ?
JOHANNA:
I'll swallow poison on Sunday,
That's what I'll do, I'll get some lye.
ANTHONY:
I have a plan ?
JOHANNA (Stops pacing suddenly):
Oh, dear, was that a noise?
ANTHONY:
A plan?
JOHANNA:
I think I heard a noise.
ANTHONY;
A plan!
JOHANNA:
It couldn't be,
He's in court,
He's in court today,
Still that was a noise,
Wasn't that a noise?
You must have heard that ?
ANTHONY:
Kiss me.
JOHANNA (Shyly):
Oh, sir...
ANTHONY:
Ah, miss ...
JOHANNA:
Oh, sir ...
(She turns away, agitatedly)
If he should marry me Monday,
What shall I do? I'll die of grief.
ANTHONY:
We fly tonight ?
JOHANNA:
'Tis Friday, virtually Sunday,
What can we do with time so brief?
ANTHONY:
We fly tonight ?
JOHANNA:
Behind the curtain ? quick!
ANTHONY:
Tonight ?
JOHANNA:
I think I heard a click!
ANTHONY:
Tonight!
JOHANNA:
It was agate!
It's the gate!
We don't have a gate.
Still there was a ? Wait!
There's another click!
You must have heard that ?
ANTHONY:
It's not a gate.
There's no gate,
You don't have a gate.
If you'd only listen, miss, and
ANTHONY;
Kiss me!
JOHANNA:
Tonight?
ANTHONY:
Kiss me.
JOHANNA:
You mean tonight?
ANTHONY:
The plan is made.
JOHANNA:
Oh, sir!
ANTHONY;
So kiss me.
JOHANNA:
I feel a fright.
ANTHONY:
Be not afraid.
JOHANNA:
Sir, I did
Love you even as I
Saw you, even as it
Did not matter that I
Did not know your name.
ANTHONY:
Tonight I'll
Steal
You,
JOHANNA,
I'll steal you ...
ANTHONY:
It's me you'll marry on Monday,
That's what you'll do!
JOHANNA:
And gladly, sir.
ANTHONY:
St. Dunstan's, noon.
JOHANNA:
I knew I'd be with you one day,
Even not knowing who you were.
I feared you'd never come,
That you'd been called away,
That you'd been killed,
Had the plague,
Were in debtor's jail,
Trampled by a horse,
Gone to sea again,
Arrested by the ?
JOHANNA:
Kiss me!
ANTHONY:
Of course.
JOHANNA:
Quickly!
ANTHONY:
Ah, miss,
Marry me, marry me, miss,
Oh, marry me Monday!
Favor me, favor me
With your hand.
Promise,
Marry me, marry me, please,
Oh, marry me Monday ?
ANTHONY:
You're sure?
JOHANNA:
Kiss me!
ANTHONY (Taking her in his arms):
I shall!
JOHANNA:
Kiss me!
Oh, sir ...
(Lights dim on them but remain; light rises on the JUDGE and the BEADLE, still walking together. Music continues under)
JUDGE (Strolling with BEADLE): Yes, yes, but surely the respect that she owes me as her guardian should be sufficient to kindle a more tender emotion.
BEADLE (Sings):
Excuse me, my lord.
May I request, my lord,
Permission, my lord, to speak?
Forgive me if I suggest, my lord,
You're looking less than your best, my lord,
There's powder upon your vest, my lord,
And stubble upon your cheek.
And ladies, my lord, are weak.
(Music continues)
JUDGE: Perhaps if she greets me cordially upon my return, I should give her a small gift. ..
BEADLE (Winces delicately):
Ladies in their sensitivities, my lord,
Have a fragile sensibility.
When a girl's emergent,
Probably it's urgent
You defer to her gent-
ility, my lord.
Personal disorder cannot be ignored,
Given their genteel proclivities.
Meaning no offense, it
Happens they resents it,
Ladies in their sensit-
ivities, my lord.
JUDGE (Feeling his chin): Stubble, you say? Perhaps at times I am a little overhasty with my morning ablutions .. .
BEADLE:
Fret not though, my lord,
I know a place, my lord,
A barber, my lord, of skill.
Thus armed with a shaven face, my lord,
Some eau de cologne to grace my lord
And musk to enhance the chase, my lord,
You'll dazzle the girl until
She bows to your every will.
JUDGE: That may well be so.
(They have reached the JUDGE 's house)
BEADLE: Well, here we are, sir. I bid you good day.
JUDGE: Good day.
(He muses, turns)
And where is this miraculous barber?
BEADLE: In Fleet Street, sir.
JUDGE: Perhaps you may be right. Take me to him.
(They start off. Light up on JOHANNA 's room. JOHANNA and ANTHONY get up from a couch)
BEADLE (Sings):
The name is TODD ...
JUDGE:
Todd,eh?
ANTHONY:
We'd best not wait until Monday
JOHANNA:
Sir, I concur,
And fully, too.
BEADLE:
Sweeney TODD.
ANTHONY:
It isn't right.
We'd best be married on Sunday.
JOHANNA:
Saturday, sir,
Would also do.
ANTHONY:
Or else tonight.
(The JUDGE and the BEADLE move past the house)
JOHANNA:
I think I heard a noise.
ANTHONY:
Fear not.
JOHANNA:
I mean another noise!
ANTHONY:
Like what?
JOHANNA:
Oh, never mind,
Just a noise
Just another noise,
Something in the street,
I'm a silly little
Ninnynoddle ?
ANTHONY:
You mustn't mind,
It's a noise,
Just another noise,
Something in the street,
You silly ?
BOTH (Falling into each other's arms):
Kiss me!
JOHANNA:
Oh, sir...
ANTHONY:
We'll go to Paris on Monday.
JOHANNA:
What shall I wear?
I daren't pack!
ANTHONY:
We'll ride a train ...
JOHANNA:
With you beside me on Sunday,
What will I care
What things I lack?
ANTHONY:
Then sail to Spain ...
JOHANNA:
I'll take my reticule.
I need my reticule.
You mustn't think
Me a fool
But my reticule
Never leaves my side,
It's the only thing
My mother gave me ?
Kiss me!
Kiss me!
We'll go there,
Kiss me!
We have a place where we can
ANTHONY:
Why take your reticule?
We'll buy a reticule.
I'd never think
You a fool,
But a reticule ?
Leave it all aside
And begin again and
Kiss me!
I know a place where we can go
Tonight.
Kiss me!
We have a place where we can
Go...Go tonight.
BEADLE {Simultaneously with the above):
The name is Todd.
JUDGE:
Todd?
BEADLE:
Todd. Sweeney Todd.
JUDGE:
Todd ...
BEADLE:
Todd.
ANTHONY:
I loved you
Even as I saw you,
Even as it did not
Matter that I did
Not know your name
Johanna,
Johanna,
Johanna…

JOHANNA:
I loved you
Even as I saw you,
Even as it does not
Matter that I still
Don't know your name, sir,
Even as I saw you,
Even as it does not
Matter that I still
Don't know your name . ..
BEADLE (Simultaneously with above):
Todd . . . Sweeney Todd.
JUDGE and BEADLE:
Sweeney Todd.
ANTHONY: Anthony . . .
JUDGE: Todd . . .
BEADLE: TODD.
JOHANNA: ANTHONY . . .
JUDGE: TODD, eh?
JOHANNA: ANTHONY:
I'll marry ANTHONY Sunday, You marry ANTHONY Sunday,
That's what I'll do. That's what you'll do,
No matter what! No matter what!
I knew you'd come for me I knew I'd come for you
one day, one day
Only afraid that you'd forgot. Only afraid that you'd forgot.
BEADLE (Simultaneously with above):
Ladies in their sensitivities, my lord ...
JUDGE:
Pray lead the way.
BEADLE:
Have a fragile sensibility ...
JUDGE:
Just as you say.
JOHANNA:
I feared you'd never come,
That you'd been called away,
That you'd been killed,
Had the plague,
Were in debtor's jail,
Trampled by a horse,
Gone to sea again,
Arrested by the ...
ANTHONY:
Marry me, marry me, miss,
You'll marry me Sunday.
Favor me, favor me
With your hand.
Promise,
Marry me, marry me,
That you'll marry me ?
Enough of all this ...
(He crushes her to him; they kiss)
BEADLE (Simultaneously with above):
When a girl's emergent,
Probably it's urgent. ..
Ladies in their sensitivities .. .
JUDGE:
Todd ...
JOHANNA (As she sinks to the floor with ANTHONY) :
Oh, sir ...
ANTHONY:
Ah, miss . . .
JOHANNA:
Oh, sir...
Oh, sir ...
Oh, sir ...
Oh, sir ...
Oh, sir ...
Oh, sir ...
ANTHONY:
Ah, miss ...
Ah, miss . . .
Ah, miss ...
Ah, miss ...
Ah, miss . . .

ANTHONY:

I feel you, Johanna,
I feel you.
I was half convinced I'd waken,
Satisfied enough to dream you.
Happily I was mistaken,
Johanna.
I'll steal you, Johanna,
I'll steal you.

[dialogue]

I'll steal you, Johanna,
I'll steal you.
Do they think that walls could hide you?
Even now, I'm at your window.
I am in the dark beside you,
Buried sweetly in your yellow hair!
I feel you, Johanna,
And one day I'll steal you!
Til I'm with you then,
I'm with you there,
Sweetly buried in your yellow hair!

ANTHONY:

I feel you, Johanna,
I feel you.
I was half convinced I'd waken,
Satisfied enough to dream you.
Happily I was mistaken,
Johanna.
I'll steal you, Johanna,
I'll steal you.

[dialogue]

I'll steal you, Johanna,
I'll steal you.
Do they think that walls could hide you?
Even now, I'm at your window.
I am in the dark beside you,
Buried sweetly in your yellow hair!
I feel you, Johanna,
And one day I'll steal you!
Til I'm with you then,
I'm with you there,
Sweetly buried in your yellow hair!

ANTHONY:

I feel you, Johanna,
I feel you.
I was half convinced I'd waken,
Satisfied enough to dream you.
Happily I was mistaken,
Johanna.
I'll steal you, Johanna,
I'll steal you.

[dialogue]

I'll steal you, Johanna,
I'll steal you.
Do they think that walls could hide you?
Even now, I'm at your window.
I am in the dark beside you,
Buried sweetly in your yellow hair!
I feel you, Johanna,
And one day I'll steal you!
Til I'm with you then,
I'm with you there,
Sweetly buried in your yellow hair!

JENNY: Bobby...
PETER: Bobby...
AMY: Bobby baby...
PAUL: Bobby bubi...
JOANNE: Robby...
SUSAN: Robert, darling...
ALL: Bobby, we've been trying to reach you...
SARAH: Angel, I've got something to tell you...
AMY & PAUL: Bobby, it's important or I wouldn't call...
ALL: Whatcha doin' Thursday?
DAVID & JENNY: Bobby, look, I know how you hate it and all...
ALL: But this is something special...
Not that you don't know a lot of lovely girls, but

Bobby, come on over for dinner!
There's someone we want you to meet!
Bobby, come on over for dinner!

HUSBANDS: This girl from the office...

WIVES: My niece from Ohio...

ALL: It'll just be the four of us!
You'll loooove her!

LARRY: Have I got a girl for you,
Wait till you meet her!
Have I got a girl for you, boy
Hoo, boy!
Dumb
And with a weakness for Sazerac slings!
You give her even the fruit and she swings.
The kind of girl you can't send through the mails!
Call me tomorrow, I want the details.

PETER: Have I got a chick for you,
Wait till you meet her!
Have I got a chick for you, boy
Hoo, boy!
Smart
She's into all those exotic mystiques,
The Kama Sutra and Chinese techniques
I hear she knows more than seventy-five!
Call me tomorrow if you're still alive!

HUSBANDS: Have I got a girl for you,
Wait till you meet her!
Have I got a girl for you, boy
Hoo, boy!
Boy
To be in your shoes what I wouldn't give!
I mean, the freedom to go out and live!
And as for settling down and all that...
Marriage may be where it's been,
But it's not where it's at.

Whaddaya like? You like coming home to a kiss?
Somebody with a smile at the door?
Whaddaya like? You like indescribable bliss?
Then whaddaya wanna get married for?

Whaddaya like? You'd like an excursion to Rome?
Suddenly taking off to explore?
Whaddaya like? You like having meals cooked at home?
Then whaddaya wanna get married for?
Whaddaya wanna get married for?
Whaddaya wanna get married for?
Whaddaya wanna get married for?

JOHANNA (Sings):
Green finch and linnet bird,
Nightingale, blackbird,
How is it you sing?
How can you jubilate,
Sitting in cages,
Never taking wing?
Outside the sky waits,
Beckoning, beckoning,
Just beyond the bars.
How can you remain,
Staring at the rain,
Maddened by the stars?
How is it you sing
Anything?
How is it you sing?
Green finch and linnet bird,
Nightingale, blackbird,
How is it you sing?
Whence comes this melody constantly flowing?
Is it rejoicing or merely halloing?
Are you discussing or fussing
Or simply dreaming?
Are you crowing?
Are you screaming?
Ringdove and robinet,
Is it for wages,
Singing to be sold?
Have you decided it's
Safer in cages,
Singing when you're told?

(ANTHONY enters. Instantly he sees her and stands transfixed by her beauty)

My cage has many rooms,
Damask and dark.
Nothing there sings,
Not even my lark.
Larks never will, you know,
When they're captive.
Teach me to be more adaptive.
Green finch and linnet bird,
Nightingale, blackbird,
Teach me how to sing.
If I cannot fly,
Let me sing.
(She gazes into the middle distance disconsolately)

ANTHONY (Gazing at her, sings softly):
I have sailed the world,
Beheld its wonders,
From the pearls of Spain
To the rubies of Tibet,
But not even in London
Have I seen such a wonder . . .
(Breathlessly)
Lady look at me look at me miss oh
Look at me please oh
Favor me favor me with your glance.
Ah, miss,
What do you what do you see off
There in those trees oh
Won't you give won't you give me a chance?
Who would sail to Spain
For all its wonders,
When in Kearney's Lane
Lies the greatest wonder yet?
Ah, miss,
Look at you look at you pale and
Ivory-skinned oh
Look at you looking so sad so queer.
Promise
Not to retreat to the darkness
Back of your window
Not till you not till you look down here.
Look at

ANTHONY. JOHANNA:
Me! Green finch and linnet bird,
Look at Nightingale, blackbird,
Me! Teach me how to sing.
If I cannot fly,
Look at me .. . Let me sing ...

Green finch and linnet bird,
Nightingale, blackbird,
How is it you sing?
How can you jubilate,
Sitting in cages,
Never taking wing?
Outside the sky waits,
Beckoning, beckoning,
Just beyond the bars.
How can you remain,
Staring at the rain,
Maddened by the stars?
How is it you sing
Anything?
How is it you sing?

Green finch and linnet bird,
Nightingale, blackbird,
How is it you sing?
Whence comes this melody constantly flowing?
Is it rejoicing or merely halloing?
Are you discussing or fussing
Or simply dreaming?
Are you crowing?
Are you screaming?

Ringdove and robinet,
Is it for wages,
Singing to be sold?
Have you decided it's
Safer in cages,
Singing when you're told?
My cage has many rooms,
Damask and dark.
Nothing there sings,
Not even my lark.
Larks never will, you know,
When they're captive.
Teach me to be more adaptive.

Green finch and linnet bird,
Nightingale, blackbird,
Teach me how to sing.
If I cannot fly,
Let me sing.

TOBY:
Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please?
Are your nostrils a-quiver and tingling as well at the delicate, luscious, ambrosial smell?
Yes they are, I can tell
Well, ladies and gentlemen, that aroma enriching the breeze
Is like nothing compared to its succulent source as the gourmets among you will tell you of course
Ladies and gentlemen you can't imagine the rapture in store
Just inside of this door!
There you'll sample Mrs. Lovett's meat pies
savory and sweet pies as you'll see
You, who eat pies Mrs. Lovett's meat pies
conjure up the treat pies used to be

MRS. LOVETT:
Nice to see you dearie
how have you been keeping?
Cor, m'bones is weary!
Toby, one for the gentleman
hear the birdies cheeping
helps to keep it cheery
Toby, throw the old woman out!

ENSEMBLE:
God, that's good!

MRS. LOVETT:
What's your pleasure dearie?
No we don't cut slices
Cor, m'eyes is bleary
Toby, none for the gentleman!
I could up m'prices
I'm a little leery
Business couldn't be better though!

ENSEMBLE:
God, that's good!

MRS. LOVETT:
Knock on wood!

SWEENEY: Psst!
MRS. LOVETT: Excuse me
SWEENEY: Psst!
MRS. LOVETT: Dear, see to the customers
SWEENEY: Psst!
MRS. LOVETT: Yes? What love? Quick, though the trade is brisk
SWEENEY: But its six o clock
MRS. LOVETT: So its six o clock
SWEENEY: It was due to arrive at a quarter to five and its six o clock! I've been waiting all day
but it should have been here by now
MRS. LOVETT: and its probably already down the block it will be here, it will be here have a pitcher of beer and it
should've been here by now now

ENSEMBLE:
More hot pies!

MRS. LOVETT:
Will you wait there cooling
'Cause my customers truly are getting unruly
SWEENEY: You come back when it comes!

MRS. LOVETT:
and what's your pleasure dearie?
Oops I beg your pardon
Just m'hands is smeary
Toby, run for the gentleman
down to Lover Garden
always makes me teary
must be one of them foreigners

ENSEMBLE:
God, that's good! That is delicious!

MRS. LOVETT:
What's my secret?
Frankly dear, forgive my candor
Family secret, all to do with herbs
things like being careful with your coriander
that's what makes the gravy grander!

ENSEMBLE:
More hot pies! More hot, more pies!

SWEENEY: Psst!
MRS. LOVETT: Excuse me
SWEENEY: Psst!
MRS. LOVETT: Dear, see to the customers
SWEENEY: Psst!
MRS. LOVETT: What now, love? Quick, though the trade is brisk
SWEENEY: But its here
MRS. LOVETT: Its where?
SWEENEY: Coming up the stair
MRS. LOVETT: I'll get rid of the slaughters they're still pretty hott it will soon be there
SWEENEY: It's about to be open to don't you care?
MRS. LOVETT: No Ill be there, I will be there but then none will get sold if I let them get cold
SWEENEY: But we have to prepare!

MRS. LOVETT:
Oh and incidentally dearie
you know Mrs. Mooney
sales have been so dreary
Toby, poor thing is penniless
What about that loony,
Lookin sort of beery?
Oh well, got her comeuppance and that'll be thruppence

ENSEMBLE:
God, that's good! That is de-have-u-licious at the tasty smell such oh my god what's more that pie's good
ooh ooh ooh
ooh ooh ooh

SWEENEY: Is this a chair fit for a king?
How wondrous sweet and most particular chair
MRS.LOVETT: Its gorgeous, its gorgeous
SWEENEY: You tell me where is a seat can half compare with this particular thing
MRS. LOVETT: Its perfect, its gorgeous
SWEENEY: I have a few minor adjustments
MRS. LOVETT: You make your few minor adjustments
SWEENEY: to make
they'll take
MRS. LOVETT: You take, your time
SWEENEY: a moment
MRS. LOVETT: I'll go see to the customers
SWEENEY: I'll call you
I have another friend

TOBY:
Is that a pie fit for a king?
Oh wondrous sweet and most particular thing
MRS. LOVETT: Its gorgeous its gorgeous
TOBY: You see maam why there is no meat pie can compete with this delectable pie
MRS. LOVETT: Its perfect its gorgeous
TOBY: The crust all velvety and wavy
MRS. LOVETT: The crust all velvety and wavy
TOBY: that glaze, those crimps
MRS. LOVETT: That glaze, those crimps
TOBY: and then the thick succulent gravy
SWEENEY: Then down they go
The cellar waits below
TOBY: one whiff will make me glimpse
a wonder that we surrender
SWEENEY: On with, the show

SWEENEY: Psst!
MRS. LOVETT: Excuse me
SWEENEY: Psst!
MRS. LOVETT: Dear, see to the customers
SWEENEY: Psst!
MRS. LOVETT: All set, love?
SWEENEY: Hear me
MRS. LOVETT: My heart's a flutter
SWEENEY: When I pound the floor
MRS. LOVETT: When you pound the floor
SWEENEY: Its a signal to show that they're ready to go when I pound the floor
MRS. LOVETT: Yes I know you told me you'd be ready to go when you pound the floor!
Will you trust me? Will you trust me?
SWEENEY: I just want to be sure
MRS. LOVETT: I'll be waiting below for the whistle to blow
SWEENEY: when I'm certain that you're in place
I'll pound three times
three times
To warn you
three times
that means

ENSEMBLE:
Exactly more hot pies! God!
More hot! right! More pies! More! Right!

MRS. LOVETT:
How about it dearie?
be here in a twinkling
just confirms my theory
Toby, God watches over us
sit and have an inkling
Toby, throw the old woman out

TOBY: (at same time as MRS. LOVETT)
Is that a pie fit for a king?
Oh wondrous sweet and most delectable thing
you see maam why there is no meat pie

ENSEMBLE:
God, that's good! That is de-have-u-licious at the tasty smell such oh my god what's perfect more that pies such flavor God
that's good!

JENNY: Bless this day,
Pinnacle of life
Husband joined to wife
The heart leaps up to behold
This golden day.

PAUL: Today is for Amy
Amy, I give you the rest of my life
To cherish and to keep you
To honor you forever
Today is for Amy,
My, happily, soon-to-be wife.

AMY: Pardon me, is everybody here?
Because if everybody's here,
I'd like to thank you all
For coming to the wedding.
I'd appreciate you going even more,
I mean, you must have lots of better things to do,
And not a word of it to Paul
Remember Paul? You know, the man I'm going to marry
But I'm not, because I wouldn't ruin anyone
As wonderful as he is.
Thank you all for the gifts and the flowers,
Thank you all, now it's back to the showers
Don't tell Paul, but I'm not getting married today.

JENNY: Bless this day,
Tragedy of life
Husband bound to wife
The heart sinks down
And feels dead
This dreadful day.

AMY: Listen everybody, look, I don't know what you're waiting for
A wedding. What's a wedding? It's a prehistoric ritual
Where everybody promises fidelity forever,
Which is maybe the most horrifying word I ever heard of,
Which is followed by a honeymoon, where suddenly he'll realize
He's saddled with a nut, and want to kill me, which he should.
Thanks a bunch, but I'm not getting married
Go have lunch, 'cause I'm not getting married
You've been grand, but I'm not getting married
Don't just stand there, I'm not getting married
And don't tell Paul, but I'm not getting married today.

Go! Can't you go?
Why is nobody listening?
Goodbye! Go and cry
At another person's wake.
If you're quick, for a kick
You could pick up a christening
But please, on my knees,
There's a human life at stake!

Listen everybody, I'm afraid you didn't hear
Or do you want to see a crazy lady fall apart in front of you?
It isn't only Paul who would be ruining his life
You know, we'll both of us be losing our identities
I telephoned my analyst about it, and he said to see him Monday
But by Monday I'll be floating in the Hudson with the other garbage.
I'm not well, so I'm not getting married
You've been swell, but I'm not getting married
Clear the hall, 'cause I'm not getting married
Thank you all, but I'm not getting married
And don't tell Paul, but I'm not getting married today.

JENNY: Bless this bride,
Totally insane
Slipping down the drain
And bless this day in our hearts
As it starts
To rain.

PAUL: Today is for Amy
Amy, I give you the rest of my life
To cherish and to keep you
To honor you forever

AMY: Go! Can't you go?
Look, you know I adore you all
But why watch me die
Like Eliza on the ice?
Look, perhaps I'll collapse
In the apse right before you all
So take back the cake
Burn the shoes, and boil the rice.

PAUL: Today is for Amy,
My, happily, soon-to-be wife
My adorable wife...

AMY: Look, I didn't want to have to tell you,
But I may be coming down with hepatitis, and I think I'm gonna faint
So if you want to watch me faint, I'll do it happily,
But wouldn't it be funnier to go and watch a funeral?
So thank you for the twenty-seven dinner plates,
Thirty-seven butter knives,
Forty-seven paperweights,
Fifty-seven candle holders

PAUL: One more thing...

AMY: I'm not getting married.

CHOIR: Amen!

PAUL: Softly said...

AMY: But I'm not getting married.

CHOIR: Amen!

PAUL: With this ring...

AMY: See, I'm not getting married!

CHOIR: Amen!

PAUL: I thee wed.

AMY: Still, I'm not getting married!

CHOIR: Amen!

PAUL: Let us pray that we are getting married

AMY: Let us pray that we're not getting married

ALL: Today!

No I had him!
His throat was there beneath my hand.
I had swear I had him!
His throat was there and now he'll never come again.
Mrs. Lovett: Easy now, hush love hush
I keep telling you -
Todd: When? Why do I wait?
You told me to wait -
Now he'll never come again.
There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
And it's filled with people who are filled with shit
And the vermin of the world inhabit it.
But not for long...

They all deserve to die.
Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why.
Because in all of the whole human race
Mrs Lovett, there are two kinds of men and only two
There's the one they put in his proper place
And the one with his foot in the other one's face
Look at me, Mrs Lovett, look at you.

Now we all deserve to die
Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why.
Because the lives of the wicked should be made brief
For the rest of us death will be a relief
We all deserve to die.

And I'll never see Joanna
No I'll never hold my girl to me - finished!
(shouted) Alright! You sir, you sir, how about a shave?
Come and visit your good friend Sweeney.
You sir, you sir? Welcome to the grave.

I will have vengenance.
I will have salvation.
(shouted) Who sir, you sir?
No one in the chair, come on! Come on!
Sweeney's waiting. I want you bleeders.
You sir - anybody.
Gentlemen don't be shy!

Not one man, no, no ten men.
Not a hundred can assuage me -
I will have you!
And I will get him back even as he gloats
In the meantime I'll practice on dishonorable throats.
And my Lucy lies in ashes
And I'll never see my girl again.

But the work waits!
I'm alive at last!
And I'm full of joy!

JENNY: Bobby...
PETER: Bobby...
AMY: Bobby baby...
PAUL: Bobby bubi...
JOANNE: Robby...
SUSAN: Robert darling...
DAVID: Bobby, we've been trying to call you.
JENNY: Bobby...
LARRY: Bobby...
AMY: Bobby baby...
PAUL: Bobby bubi...
SARAH: Angel, I've got something to tell you.
HARRY: Bob...
LARRY: Rob-o...
JOANNE: Bobby, love...
SUSAN: Bobby, honey...
AMY & PAUL: Bobby, we've been trying to reach you all day.
LARRY: Bobby...
HARRY: Bobby...
PETER: Bobby baby...
SARAH: Angel...
JOANNE: Darling...
DAVID & JENNY: The kids were asking, Bobby...
HARRY: Bobby...
SUSAN: Robert...
JOANNE: Robby...
PETER: Bob-o...
JOANNE & LARRY: Bobby, there was something we wanted to say.
SARAH & HARRY: Bobby...
PAUL: Bobby bubi...
AMY: Sweetheart...
SUSAN: Sugar...
DAVID & JENNY: Your line was busy.
PETER: What have you been up to, kiddo?
AMY & PAUL: Bobby, Bobby, how have you been?
HARRY: Fella...
SARAH: Sweetie,
HARRY & SARAH: How have you been?
PETER & SUSAN: Bobby, Bobby, how have you been?
DAVID, JENNY, JOANNE & LARRY: Stop by on your way home-
AMY & PAUL: Seems like weeks since we talked to you!
HARRY & SARAH: Bobby, we've been thinking of you!
PETER & SUSAN: Bobby, we've been thinking of you!
DAVID, JENNY, JOANNE & LARRY: Drop by anytime!
AMY & PAUL: Bobby, there's a concert on Tuesday.
DAVID & JENNY: Hank and Mary get into town tomorrow.
PETER & SUSAN: How about some Scrabble on Sunday?
HARRY & SARAH: Why don't we all go to the beach next weekend?
JOANNE & LARRY: Bob, we're having people in Saturday night.
JENNY: Bobby...
PETER: Bobby...
AMY: Bobby baby...
DAVID & JENNY: Whatcha doing Thursday?
HARRY: Bobby...
SARAH: Angel...
PAUL: Bobby bubi...
SARAH & HARRY: Time we got together, is Wednesday alright?
AMY: Bobby...
LARRY: Rob-o...
SUSAN: Bobby, honey...
AMY & PAUL: Eight o'clock on Monday.
JOANNE: Robby, darling...
PETER: Bobby fella...
JOANNE & PETER: Bobby baby...

ALL: Bobby, come on over for dinner!
We'll be so glad to see you!
Bobby, come on over for dinner!
Just be the three of us,
Only the three of us!
We looooove you!

ROBERT: Phone rings, door chimes, in comes company!
No strings, good times, room hums, company!
Late nights, quick bites, party games,
Deep talks, long walks, telephone calls,
Thoughts shared, souls bared, private names,
All those photos up on the walls
"With love,"
With love filling the days,
With love seventy ways,
"To Bobby with love,"
From all
Those
Good and crazy people, my friends
Those good and crazy people, my married friends
And that's what it's all about, isn't it?
That's what it's really about,
Really about!

APRIL: Bobby...
KATHY: Bobby...
MARTA: Bobby baby...
PAUL: Bobby bubi...
JOANNE: Robby...
SUSAN: Robert, darling...
SARAH: Angel, will you do me a favor?
LARRY: Bobby...
AMY: Bobby...
ROBERT: Name it, Sarah.
JENNY: Bobby baby...
PAUL: Bobby bubi...
PETER: Listen pal, I'd like your opinion.
HARRY: Bob...
LARRY: Rob-o...
ROBERT: Try me, Peter.
KATHY: Bobby love...
MARTA: Bobby honey...
LARRY & AMY: Bobby, there's a problem, I need your advice.
APRIL & PAUL: Bobby...
MARTA & HARRY: Bobby...
KATHY & PETER: Bobby baby...
SARAH: Angel...
JOANNE: Darling...
APRIL, KATHY & MARTA: Just half an hour...
ROBERT: Amy, can I call you back tomorrow?
DAVID & JENNY: Honey, if you'd visit the kids once or twice...
PETER & SARAH: Bobby...
JOANNE & HARRY: Bobby...
PAUL & MARTA: Bobby bubi...
AMY: Sweetheart...
SUSAN: Sugar...
APRIL, KATHY & MARTHA: What's happened to you?
ROBERT: Jenny, I could take them to the zoo on Friday.
WIVES: Bobby...Bobby...where have you been?
HUSBANDS: Fella...kiddo...where have you been?
APRIL, KATHY & MARTA: Bobby...Bobby...how have you been?
HARRY, PETER, SARAH & SUSAN: Stop by on your way home.
ROBERT: Susan, love, I'll make it after seven if I can.
WIVES: Bobby, dear, I don't mean to pry...
HUSBANDS: Bobby, we've been thinking of you!
APRIL, KATHY & MARTA: Bobby, we've been thinking of you!
AMY, DAVID, JENNY, JOANNE, LARRY, & PAUL: Drop by anytime!
ROBERT: Sorry, Paul, I made a date with Larry and Joanne.
WIVES: Bobby, dear, it's none of our business...
HUSBANDS: Lookit, pal, I have to work Thursday evening...
WIVES: Darling, you've been looking peculiar...
HUSBANDS: Bobby boy, you know how I hate the opera...
WIVES: Funny thing, your name came up only last night...
ROBERT: Harry...David...Kathy, I...
APRIL, KATHY & MARTA: I shouldn't say this, but...
ROBERT: April...Marta...Listen, people...
WIVES: Bobby, we've been worried, you sure you're all right?
HUSBANDS: Bobby...Bobby...Bobby baby...
APRIL, KATHY & MARTA: Did I do something wrong?
HUSBANDS: Bobby bubi, Bobby fella, Bobby, Bobby...
ALL EXCEPT ROBERT: Bobby, come on over for dinner!
We'll be so glad to see you!
Bobby, come on over for dinner!
Just be the three of us,
Only the three of us,
We loooooooooove you!

ALL: Phone rings, door chimes, in comes company!
No strings, good times, just chums, company!
Late nights, quick bites, party games,
Deep talks, long walks, telephone calls,
Thoughts shared, souls bared, private names,
All those photos up on the walls
"With love,"
With love filling the days,
With love seventy ways,
"To Bobby, with love"
From all
Those
Good and crazy people, my friends,
Those good and crazy people, my married friends!
And that's what it's all about, isn't it?
That's what it's really about, isn't it?
That's what it's really about, really about?

HUSBANDS: Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it?

WIVES, APRIL, KATHY & MARTA: Love...

HUSBANDS: Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it?

ROBERT: You I love, and you I love, and you and you and you I love,
And you I love, and you I love, and you and you and you I love!

ALL: Company!
Company!
Company! Lots of
Company! Life is
Company! Love is
Company! Company!

MRS. LOVETT:

(she kisses Todd)
Ooh, Mr. Todd! (kiss)
I'm so happy! (kiss)
I could (kiss)
Eat you up, I really could!
You know what I'd like to do, Mr. Todd? (kiss)
What I dream (kiss)
If the business stays as good?
Where I'd really like to go,
In a year or so?
Don't you want to know?

TODD: (spoken) Yes, yes, of course.

LOVETT: Do you really want to know?

TODD: (spoken) Yes, I do, I do.

LOVETT: (spoken) I've always had this dream...
Ever since I was a skinny little slip of a thing and my rich Aunt
Nettie used to take me down to the seaside August Bank Holiday...
The pier... Makin' little castles in the sand...
Ooh, I can still feel me toes wigglin' around in the briney!

By the sea, Mr. Todd, that's the life I covet,
By the sea, Mr. Todd, ooh, I know you'd love it!
You and me, Mr. T, we could be alone
In a house wot we'd almost own,
Down by the sea!
Wouldn't that be smashing?

TODD: Anything you say...

LOVETT:
With the sea at our gate, we'll have kippered herring
Wot have swum to us straight from the Straits of Bering!
Ev'ry night, in the kip, when we're through our kippers,
I'll be there slippin' off your slippers!
By the sea,
With the fishies splashing!
By the sea!
Wouldn't that be smashing?

TODD: Anything you say, anything you say...

LOVETT:
I can hear us wakin,'
The breakers breakin,'
The seagulls squawkin,'
'Hoo, hoo!'
I do me bakin,'
Then I go walkin'
With you-hoo!
Yoo-hoo!
I'll warm me bones on the esplanade,
Have tea and scones with me gay young blade,
Then I'll knit a sweater
While you write a letter
Unless we've got better to do-hoo!

TODD: Anything you say...

LOVETT:
Think how snug it'll be underneath our flannel
When it's just you and me and the English Channel!
In our cozy retreat kept all neat and tidy,
We'll have chums over ev'ry Friday!
By the sea!
Don'tcha love the weather?
By the sea!
We'll grow old together!
By the seaside,
Hoo, hoo!
By the beautiful sea!

(spoken)
Oh, I can see us now, in our bathing dresses!
You in a nice, rich navy, and me... stripes, perhaps.

It'll be so quiet,
That who'll come by it,
Except a seagull
Hoo, hoo!
We shouldn't try it,
Though, 'til it's legal for two-hoo!
But a seaside wedding could be devised,
Me rumpled bedding legitimized!
Me eyelids'll flutter,
I'll turn into butter,
The moment I mutter I do-hoo!

By the sea, in our nest, we could share our kippers
With the odd payin' guest from the weekend trippers,
Have a nice sunny suite for the guest to rest in,
Now and then, you could do the guest in!
By the sea,
Married nice and proper!
By the sea,
Bring along your chopper!
To the seaside,
Hoo, hoo!
By the beautiful sea!

Someone to hold you too close.
Someone to hurt you too deep.
Someone to sit in you chair,
To ruin your sleep,

[dialogue]

Someone to need you too much.
Someone to know you too well.
Someone to pull you up short,
And put you through hell,

[dialogue]

Someone you have to let in,
Someone whose feelings you spare,
Someone who, like it or not,
Will want you to share
A little, a lot.

[dialogue]

Someone to crowd you with love.
Someone to force you to care.
Someone to make you come through,
Who'll always be there,
As frightened as you,
Of being alive,
Being alive.
Being alive.
Being alive!

[dialogue]

Somebody hold me too close.
Somebody hurt me too deep.
Somebody sit in my chair,
And ruin my sleep,
And make me aware,
Of being alive.
Being alive.

Somebody need me too much.
Somebody know me too well.
Somebody pull me up short,
And put me through hell,
And give me support,
For being alive.
Make me alive.
Make me alive.

Make me confused.
Mock me with praise.
Let me be used.
Vary my days.

But alone,
Is alone,
Not alive.

Somebody crowd me with love.
Somebody force me to care.
Somebody let me come through,
I'll always be there,
As frightened as you,
To help us survive,
Being alive.
Being alive.
Being alive!

Someone to hold you too close.
Someone to hurt you too deep.
Someone to sit in you chair,
To ruin your sleep,

[dialogue]

Someone to need you too much.
Someone to know you too well.
Someone to pull you up short,
And put you through hell,

[dialogue]

Someone you have to let in,
Someone whose feelings you spare,
Someone who, like it or not,
Will want you to share
A little, a lot.

[dialogue]

Someone to crowd you with love.
Someone to force you to care.
Someone to make you come through,
Who'll always be there,
As frightened as you,
Of being alive,
Being alive.
Being alive.
Being alive!

[dialogue]

Somebody hold me too close.
Somebody hurt me too deep.
Somebody sit in my chair,
And ruin my sleep,
And make me aware,
Of being alive.
Being alive.

Somebody need me too much.
Somebody know me too well.
Somebody pull me up short,
And put me through hell,
And give me support,
For being alive.
Make me alive.
Make me alive.

Make me confused.
Mock me with praise.
Let me be used.
Vary my days.

But alone,
Is alone,
Not alive.

Somebody crowd me with love.
Somebody force me to care.
Somebody let me come through,
I'll always be there,
As frightened as you,
To help us survive,
Being alive.
Being alive.
Being alive!

Bobby: Where ya going?
April: Barcelona.
Bobby: Oh.
April: Don't get up.
Bobby: Do you have to?
April: Yes, I have to.
Bobby: Oh.
April: Don't get up.

April: Now you're angry.
Bobby: No, I'm not.
April: Yes, you are.
Bobby: No, I'm not.
Put your things down.
April: See, you're angry.
Bobby: No, I'm not.
April: Yes, you are.
Bobby: No, I'm not.
Put your wings down and stay.
April: I'm leaving.
Bobby: Why?
April: To go to-
Bobby: Stay.
April: I have to-
Both: -Fly
Bobby: -I know-
Both: -To Barcelona.

Bobby: Look, you're a very special girl,
Not just overnight.
No, you're a very special girl,
And not because you're bright...
Not just because you're bright.
You're just a very special girl...June!
April: April!
Bobby: April!
April: Thank you.

Bobby: Whatcha thinking?
April: Barcelona.
Bobby: Oh.
April: Flight Eighteen.
Bobby: Stay a minute.
April: I would like to.
Bobby: So?
April: Don't be mean.

Bobby: Stay a minute.
April: No, I can't.
Bobby: Yes, you can.
April: No, I can't.
Bobby: Where you going?
April: Barcelona!
Bobby: So you said.
April: And Madrid.
Bobby: Bon voyage.
April: On a Boeing.

Bobby: Goodnight.
April: You're angry.
Bobby: No.
April: I've got to.
Bobby: Right.
April: Report to-
Bobby: Go.
April: That's not to say...
That if I had my way...
Oh well, I guess, OK.
Bobby: What?
April: I'll stay.
Bobby: But...oh God!

MARTA: Another hundred people just got off of the train,
And came up through the ground,
While another hundred people just got off of the bus,
And are looking around
At another hundred people who got off of the plane,
And are looking at us,
Who got off of the train,
And the plane, and the bus,
Maybe yesterday.

It's a city of strangers
Some come to work, some to play
A city of strangers
Some come to stare, some to stay
And every day
The ones who stay

Can find each other in the crowded streets and the guarded parks
By the rusty fountains and the dusty trees with the battered barks
And they walk together past the postered walls with the crude remarks

And they meet at parties through the friends-of-friends, who they never know
"Will you pick me up, or do I meet you there, or shall we let it go?
Did you get my message? 'Cause I looked in vain
Can we see each other Tuesday if it doesn't rain?
Look, I'll call you in the morning, or my service'll explain."
And another hundred people just got off of the train.

It's a city of strangers
Some come to work, some to play
A city of strangers
Some come to stare, some to stay
And every day
Some go away...

Or they find each other in the crowded streets and the guarded parks
By the rusty fountains and the dusty trees with the battered barks
And they walk together past the postered walls with the crude remarks

And they meet at parties through the friends-of-friends, who they never know
"Will you pick me up, or do I meet you there, or shall we let it go?
Did you get my message? 'Cause I looked in vain
Can we see each other Tuesday if it doesn't rain?
Look, I'll call you in the morning, or my service'll explain."

And another hundred people just got off of the train.
And another hundred people just got off of the train.
And another hundred people just got off of the train.
And another hundred people just got off of the train.
Another hundred people just got off of the train.

ANTHONY (Gazing at her, sings softly):
I have sailed the world,
Beheld its wonders,
From the pearls of Spain
To the rubies of Tibet,
But not even in London
Have I seen such a wonder . . .
(Breathlessly)
Lady look at me look at me miss oh
Look at me please oh
Favor me favor me with your glance.
Ah, miss,
What do you what do you see off
There in those trees oh
Won't you give won't you give me a chance?
Who would sail to Spain
For all its wonders,
When in Kearney's Lane
Lies the greatest wonder yet?
Ah, miss,
Look at you look at you pale and
Ivory-skinned oh
Look at you looking so sad so queer.
Promise
Not to retreat to the darkness
Back of your window
Not till you not till you look down here.
Look at

ANTHONY. JOHANNA:
Me! Green finch and linnet bird,
Look at Nightingale, blackbird,
Me! Teach me how to sing.
If I cannot fly,
Look at me .. . Let me sing ...

BEGGAR WOMAN:
Alms, Alms for a miserable woman.
Beg your pardon, it's you sir, thank you, thank you kindly.

ANTHONY (spoken):
One moment mother, perhaps you know who's house this is.

BEGGAR WOMAN:
(nervously) That, Oh, That's the gret Judge Turpins house that is.

ANTHONY:
And the young lady who resides there?

BEGGAR WOMAN:
(increasingly nervous) Oh her? Well that's J-Johanna, His pretty little ward.
Oh but don't you go tresspassing there young man. Not if you value your hide.
Tamper there and it's a good wippin' for ya,
or any other yout' wif mischeif on 'is mind. (laughs)

(Sing-song) Hey, Oink sailor boy, want it's lovely harbored,
open me gate but don't get straight I see it lists to starboard
(laughs widly)

ANTHONY: Off with you, OFF!