Stephen Sondheim

Someone to hold you too close.
Someone to hurt you too deep.
Someone to sit in you chair,
To ruin your sleep,

[dialogue]

Someone to need you too much.
Someone to know you too well.
Someone to pull you up short,
And put you through hell,

[dialogue]

Someone you have to let in,
Someone whose feelings you spare,
Someone who, like it or not,
Will want you to share
A little, a lot.

[dialogue]

Someone to crowd you with love.
Someone to force you to care.
Someone to make you come through,
Who'll always be there,
As frightened as you,
Of being alive,
Being alive.
Being alive.
Being alive!

[dialogue]

Somebody hold me too close.
Somebody hurt me too deep.
Somebody sit in my chair,
And ruin my sleep,
And make me aware,
Of being alive.
Being alive.

Somebody need me too much.
Somebody know me too well.
Somebody pull me up short,
And put me through hell,
And give me support,
For being alive.
Make me alive.
Make me alive.

Make me confused.
Mock me with praise.
Let me be used.
Vary my days.

But alone,
Is alone,
Not alive.

Somebody crowd me with love.
Somebody force me to care.
Somebody let me come through,
I'll always be there,
As frightened as you,
To help us survive,
Being alive.
Being alive.
Being alive!

Green finch and linnet bird,
Nightingale, blackbird,
How is it you sing?
How can you jubilate,
Sitting in cages,
Never taking wing?
Outside the sky waits,
Beckoning, beckoning,
Just beyond the bars.
How can you remain,
Staring at the rain,
Maddened by the stars?
How is it you sing
Anything?
How is it you sing?

Green finch and linnet bird,
Nightingale, blackbird,
How is it you sing?
Whence comes this melody constantly flowing?
Is it rejoicing or merely halloing?
Are you discussing or fussing
Or simply dreaming?
Are you crowing?
Are you screaming?

Ringdove and robinet,
Is it for wages,
Singing to be sold?
Have you decided it's
Safer in cages,
Singing when you're told?
My cage has many rooms,
Damask and dark.
Nothing there sings,
Not even my lark.
Larks never will, you know,
When they're captive.
Teach me to be more adaptive.

Green finch and linnet bird,
Nightingale, blackbird,
Teach me how to sing.
If I cannot fly,
Let me sing.

Not a day goes by,
Not a single day
But you're somewhere a part of my life
And it looks like you'll stay.
As the days go by,
I keep thinking, "When does it end?
Where 's the day I'll have started forgetting?"
But I just go on
Thinking and sweating
And cursing and crying
And turning and reaching
And waking and dying

And no,
Not a day goes by,
Not a blessed day.
But you're still somewhere part of my life
And you won't go away.
So there's hell to pay.
And until I die
I'll die day after day
After day after day
After day after day
After day
Till the days go by
Till the days go by
Till the days go by

Isn't it rich?
Are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground,
You in mid-air.
Send in the clowns.

Isn't it bliss?
Don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around,
One who can't move.
Where are the clowns?
Send in the clowns.

Just when I'd stopped
Opening doors,
Finally knowing
The one that I wanted was yours,
Making my entrance again
With my usual flair,
Sure of my lines,
No one is there.

Don't you love farce?
My fault, I fear.
I thought that you'd want what I want -
Sorry, my dear.
And where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns.
Don't bother, they're here.

Isn't it rich?
Isn't it queer?
Losing my timing this late
In my career?
And where are the clowns?
There ought to be clowns.
Well, maybe next year . . .

MRS. LOVETT:
Seems a downright shame...
TODD: Shame?
LOVETT:
Seems an awful waste...
Such a nice, plump frame
Wot's 'is name has...
Had...
Has!
Nor it can't be traced...
Bus'ness needs a lift,
Debts to be erased...
Think of it as thrift,
As a gift,
If you get my drift!

No?

Seems an awful waste...
I mean, with the price of meat
What it is,
When you get it,
If you get it...

TODD: HAH!
LOVETT:
Good, you got it!

Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop!
Bus'ness never better using only pussycats and toast!
And a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most!
And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste!

[Simultaneously]

TODD:
Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion
LOVETT:
Well, it does seem a waste...

TODD:
Eminently practical
And yet appropriate as always!
LOVETT:
It's an idea...

TODD:
Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived
Without you all these years, I'll never know!
How delectable!
Also undetectable!
LOVETT:
Think about it!
Lots of other gentlemen'll
Soon be comin' for a shave,
Won't they?
Think of
All them
Pies!

TODD:
How choice!

How
Rare!

TODD:
For what's the sound of the world out there?
LOVETT:
What, Mr. Todd?
What, Mr. Todd?
What is that sound?
TODD:
Those crunching noises pervading the air!
LOVETT:
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, all around!
TODD:
It's man devouring man, my dear!
BOTH:
And [LOVETT: Then] who are we to deny it in here?

TODD: (spoken) These are desperate times,
Mrs. Lovett, and desperate measures are called for!
LOVETT: Here we are, now! Hot out of the oven!
TODD: What is that?

LOVETT:
It's priest. Have a little priest.
TODD:
Is it really good?
LOVETT:
Sir, it's too good, at least!
Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh,
So it's pretty fresh.
TODD:
Awful lot of fat.
LOVETT:
Only where it sat.
TODD:
Haven't you got poet, or something like that?
LOVETT:
No, y'see, the trouble with poet is
'Ow do you know it's deceased?
Try the priest!

TODD: (spoken) Heavenly!
Not as hearty as bishop, perhaps,
but then again, not as bland as curate, either!

LOVETT:
And good for business, too -- always leaves you wantin' more!
Trouble is, we only get it on Sundays!

Lawyer's rather nice.
TODD:
If it's for a price.
LOVETT:
Order something else, though, to follow,
Since no one should swallow it twice!
TODD:
Anything that's lean.
LOVETT:
Well, then, if you're British and loyal,
You might enjoy Royal Marine!
Anyway, it's clean.
Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been!
TODD:
Is that squire,
On the fire?
LOVETT:
Mercy no, sir, look closer,
You'll notice it's grocer!
TODD:
Looks thicker,
More like vicar!
LOVETT:
No, it has to be grocer --
It's green!

TODD:
The history of the world, my love --
LOVETT:
Save a lot of graves,
Do a lot of relatives favors!
TODD:
Is those below serving those up above!
LOVETT:
Ev'rybody shaves,
So there should be plenty of flavors!
TODD:
How gratifying for once to know
BOTH:
That those above will serve those down below!

LOVETT: (spoken) Now let's see, here... We've got tinker.
TODD: Something... pinker.
LOVETT: Tailor?
TODD: Paler.
LOVETT: Butler?
TODD: Subtler.
LOVETT: Potter?
TODD: Hotter.
LOVETT: Locksmith?

Lovely bit of clerk.
TODD:
Maybe for a lark.
LOVETT:
Then again there's sweep
If you want it cheap
And you like it dark!
Try the financier,
Peak of his career!
TODD:
That looks pretty rank.
LOVETT:
Well, he drank,
It's a bank
Cashier.
Never really sold.
Maybe it was old.
TODD:
Have you any Beadle?
LOVETT:
Next week, so I'm told!
Beadle isn't bad till you smell it and
Notice 'ow well it's been greased...
Stick to priest!

(spoken) Now then, this might be a little bit stringy,
but then of course it's... fiddle player!
TODD: No, this isn't fiddle player -- it's piccolo player!
LOVETT: 'Ow can you tell?
TODD: It's piping hot!
LOVETT: Then blow on it first!

TODD:
The history of the world, my sweet --
LOVETT:
Oh, Mr. Todd,
Ooh, Mr. Todd,
What does it tell?
TODD:
Is who gets eaten, and who gets to eat!
LOVETT:
And, Mr. Todd,
Too, Mr. Todd,
Who gets to sell!
TODD:
But fortunately, it's also clear
BOTH:
That [L: But] ev'rybody goes down well with beer!

LOVETT: (spoken)
Since marine doesn't appeal to you, 'ow about... rear admiral?
TODD: Too salty. I prefer general.
LOVETT: With, or without his privates? "With" is extra.

TODD: What is that?
LOVETT:
It's fop.
Finest in the shop.
And we have some shepherd's pie peppered
With actual shepherd on top!
And I've just begun --
Here's the politician, so oily
It's served with a doily,
Have one!
TODD:
Put it on a bun.
Well, you never know if it's going to run!
LOVETT:
Try the friar,
Fried, it's drier!
TODD:
No, the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy!
LOVETT:
Then actor,
That's compacter!
TODD:
Yes, and always arrives overdone!
I'll come again when you have JUDGE on the menu!

LOVETT: (spoken) Wait! True, we don't have judge yet,
but we've got something you might fancy even better.
TODD: What's that?
LOVETT: Executioner!

TODD:
Have charity towards the world, my pet!
LOVETT:
Yes, yes, I know, my love!
TODD:
We'll take the customers that we can get!
LOVETT:
High-born and low, my love!
TODD:
We'll not discriminate great from small!
No, we'll serve anyone,
Meaning anyone,
BOTH:
And to anyone
At all!

[Thanks to Jill Murdoch & Mrs. Lovett for corrections]

ANTHONY (Gazing at her, sings softly):
I have sailed the world,
Beheld its wonders,
From the pearls of Spain
To the rubies of Tibet,
But not even in London
Have I seen such a wonder . . .
(Breathlessly)
Lady look at me look at me miss oh
Look at me please oh
Favor me favor me with your glance.
Ah, miss,
What do you what do you see off
There in those trees oh
Won't you give won't you give me a chance?
Who would sail to Spain
For all its wonders,
When in Kearney's Lane
Lies the greatest wonder yet?
Ah, miss,
Look at you look at you pale and
Ivory-skinned oh
Look at you looking so sad so queer.
Promise
Not to retreat to the darkness
Back of your window
Not till you not till you look down here.
Look at

ANTHONY. JOHANNA:
Me! Green finch and linnet bird,
Look at Nightingale, blackbird,
Me! Teach me how to sing.
If I cannot fly,
Look at me .. . Let me sing ...

BEGGAR WOMAN:
Alms, Alms for a miserable woman.
Beg your pardon, it's you sir, thank you, thank you kindly.

ANTHONY (spoken):
One moment mother, perhaps you know who's house this is.

BEGGAR WOMAN:
(nervously) That, Oh, That's the gret Judge Turpins house that is.

ANTHONY:
And the young lady who resides there?

BEGGAR WOMAN:
(increasingly nervous) Oh her? Well that's J-Johanna, His pretty little ward.
Oh but don't you go tresspassing there young man. Not if you value your hide.
Tamper there and it's a good wippin' for ya,
or any other yout' wif mischeif on 'is mind. (laughs)

(Sing-song) Hey, Oink sailor boy, want it's lovely harbored,
open me gate but don't get straight I see it lists to starboard
(laughs widly)

ANTHONY: Off with you, OFF!

MRS. LOVETT:

(she kisses Todd)
Ooh, Mr. Todd! (kiss)
I'm so happy! (kiss)
I could (kiss)
Eat you up, I really could!
You know what I'd like to do, Mr. Todd? (kiss)
What I dream (kiss)
If the business stays as good?
Where I'd really like to go,
In a year or so?
Don't you want to know?

TODD: (spoken) Yes, yes, of course.

LOVETT: Do you really want to know?

TODD: (spoken) Yes, I do, I do.

LOVETT: (spoken) I've always had this dream...
Ever since I was a skinny little slip of a thing and my rich Aunt
Nettie used to take me down to the seaside August Bank Holiday...
The pier... Makin' little castles in the sand...
Ooh, I can still feel me toes wigglin' around in the briney!

By the sea, Mr. Todd, that's the life I covet,
By the sea, Mr. Todd, ooh, I know you'd love it!
You and me, Mr. T, we could be alone
In a house wot we'd almost own,
Down by the sea!
Wouldn't that be smashing?

TODD: Anything you say...

LOVETT:
With the sea at our gate, we'll have kippered herring
Wot have swum to us straight from the Straits of Bering!
Ev'ry night, in the kip, when we're through our kippers,
I'll be there slippin' off your slippers!
By the sea,
With the fishies splashing!
By the sea!
Wouldn't that be smashing?

TODD: Anything you say, anything you say...

LOVETT:
I can hear us wakin,'
The breakers breakin,'
The seagulls squawkin,'
'Hoo, hoo!'
I do me bakin,'
Then I go walkin'
With you-hoo!
Yoo-hoo!
I'll warm me bones on the esplanade,
Have tea and scones with me gay young blade,
Then I'll knit a sweater
While you write a letter
Unless we've got better to do-hoo!

TODD: Anything you say...

LOVETT:
Think how snug it'll be underneath our flannel
When it's just you and me and the English Channel!
In our cozy retreat kept all neat and tidy,
We'll have chums over ev'ry Friday!
By the sea!
Don'tcha love the weather?
By the sea!
We'll grow old together!
By the seaside,
Hoo, hoo!
By the beautiful sea!

(spoken)
Oh, I can see us now, in our bathing dresses!
You in a nice, rich navy, and me... stripes, perhaps.

It'll be so quiet,
That who'll come by it,
Except a seagull
Hoo, hoo!
We shouldn't try it,
Though, 'til it's legal for two-hoo!
But a seaside wedding could be devised,
Me rumpled bedding legitimized!
Me eyelids'll flutter,
I'll turn into butter,
The moment I mutter I do-hoo!

By the sea, in our nest, we could share our kippers
With the odd payin' guest from the weekend trippers,
Have a nice sunny suite for the guest to rest in,
Now and then, you could do the guest in!
By the sea,
Married nice and proper!
By the sea,
Bring along your chopper!
To the seaside,
Hoo, hoo!
By the beautiful sea!

No I had him!
His throat was there beneath my hand.
I had swear I had him!
His throat was there and now he'll never come again.
Mrs. Lovett: Easy now, hush love hush
I keep telling you -
Todd: When? Why do I wait?
You told me to wait -
Now he'll never come again.
There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
And it's filled with people who are filled with shit
And the vermin of the world inhabit it.
But not for long...

They all deserve to die.
Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why.
Because in all of the whole human race
Mrs Lovett, there are two kinds of men and only two
There's the one they put in his proper place
And the one with his foot in the other one's face
Look at me, Mrs Lovett, look at you.

Now we all deserve to die
Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why.
Because the lives of the wicked should be made brief
For the rest of us death will be a relief
We all deserve to die.

And I'll never see Joanna
No I'll never hold my girl to me - finished!
(shouted) Alright! You sir, you sir, how about a shave?
Come and visit your good friend Sweeney.
You sir, you sir? Welcome to the grave.

I will have vengenance.
I will have salvation.
(shouted) Who sir, you sir?
No one in the chair, come on! Come on!
Sweeney's waiting. I want you bleeders.
You sir - anybody.
Gentlemen don't be shy!

Not one man, no, no ten men.
Not a hundred can assuage me -
I will have you!
And I will get him back even as he gloats
In the meantime I'll practice on dishonorable throats.
And my Lucy lies in ashes
And I'll never see my girl again.

But the work waits!
I'm alive at last!
And I'm full of joy!

TOBY:
Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please?
Are your nostrils a-quiver and tingling as well at the delicate, luscious, ambrosial smell?
Yes they are, I can tell
Well, ladies and gentlemen, that aroma enriching the breeze
Is like nothing compared to its succulent source as the gourmets among you will tell you of course
Ladies and gentlemen you can't imagine the rapture in store
Just inside of this door!
There you'll sample Mrs. Lovett's meat pies
savory and sweet pies as you'll see
You, who eat pies Mrs. Lovett's meat pies
conjure up the treat pies used to be

MRS. LOVETT:
Nice to see you dearie
how have you been keeping?
Cor, m'bones is weary!
Toby, one for the gentleman
hear the birdies cheeping
helps to keep it cheery
Toby, throw the old woman out!

ENSEMBLE:
God, that's good!

MRS. LOVETT:
What's your pleasure dearie?
No we don't cut slices
Cor, m'eyes is bleary
Toby, none for the gentleman!
I could up m'prices
I'm a little leery
Business couldn't be better though!

ENSEMBLE:
God, that's good!

MRS. LOVETT:
Knock on wood!

SWEENEY: Psst!
MRS. LOVETT: Excuse me
SWEENEY: Psst!
MRS. LOVETT: Dear, see to the customers
SWEENEY: Psst!
MRS. LOVETT: Yes? What love? Quick, though the trade is brisk
SWEENEY: But its six o clock
MRS. LOVETT: So its six o clock
SWEENEY: It was due to arrive at a quarter to five and its six o clock! I've been waiting all day
but it should have been here by now
MRS. LOVETT: and its probably already down the block it will be here, it will be here have a pitcher of beer and it
should've been here by now now

ENSEMBLE:
More hot pies!

MRS. LOVETT:
Will you wait there cooling
'Cause my customers truly are getting unruly
SWEENEY: You come back when it comes!

MRS. LOVETT:
and what's your pleasure dearie?
Oops I beg your pardon
Just m'hands is smeary
Toby, run for the gentleman
down to Lover Garden
always makes me teary
must be one of them foreigners

ENSEMBLE:
God, that's good! That is delicious!

MRS. LOVETT:
What's my secret?
Frankly dear, forgive my candor
Family secret, all to do with herbs
things like being careful with your coriander
that's what makes the gravy grander!

ENSEMBLE:
More hot pies! More hot, more pies!

SWEENEY: Psst!
MRS. LOVETT: Excuse me
SWEENEY: Psst!
MRS. LOVETT: Dear, see to the customers
SWEENEY: Psst!
MRS. LOVETT: What now, love? Quick, though the trade is brisk
SWEENEY: But its here
MRS. LOVETT: Its where?
SWEENEY: Coming up the stair
MRS. LOVETT: I'll get rid of the slaughters they're still pretty hott it will soon be there
SWEENEY: It's about to be open to don't you care?
MRS. LOVETT: No Ill be there, I will be there but then none will get sold if I let them get cold
SWEENEY: But we have to prepare!

MRS. LOVETT:
Oh and incidentally dearie
you know Mrs. Mooney
sales have been so dreary
Toby, poor thing is penniless
What about that loony,
Lookin sort of beery?
Oh well, got her comeuppance and that'll be thruppence

ENSEMBLE:
God, that's good! That is de-have-u-licious at the tasty smell such oh my god what's more that pie's good
ooh ooh ooh
ooh ooh ooh

SWEENEY: Is this a chair fit for a king?
How wondrous sweet and most particular chair
MRS.LOVETT: Its gorgeous, its gorgeous
SWEENEY: You tell me where is a seat can half compare with this particular thing
MRS. LOVETT: Its perfect, its gorgeous
SWEENEY: I have a few minor adjustments
MRS. LOVETT: You make your few minor adjustments
SWEENEY: to make
they'll take
MRS. LOVETT: You take, your time
SWEENEY: a moment
MRS. LOVETT: I'll go see to the customers
SWEENEY: I'll call you
I have another friend

TOBY:
Is that a pie fit for a king?
Oh wondrous sweet and most particular thing
MRS. LOVETT: Its gorgeous its gorgeous
TOBY: You see maam why there is no meat pie can compete with this delectable pie
MRS. LOVETT: Its perfect its gorgeous
TOBY: The crust all velvety and wavy
MRS. LOVETT: The crust all velvety and wavy
TOBY: that glaze, those crimps
MRS. LOVETT: That glaze, those crimps
TOBY: and then the thick succulent gravy
SWEENEY: Then down they go
The cellar waits below
TOBY: one whiff will make me glimpse
a wonder that we surrender
SWEENEY: On with, the show

SWEENEY: Psst!
MRS. LOVETT: Excuse me
SWEENEY: Psst!
MRS. LOVETT: Dear, see to the customers
SWEENEY: Psst!
MRS. LOVETT: All set, love?
SWEENEY: Hear me
MRS. LOVETT: My heart's a flutter
SWEENEY: When I pound the floor
MRS. LOVETT: When you pound the floor
SWEENEY: Its a signal to show that they're ready to go when I pound the floor
MRS. LOVETT: Yes I know you told me you'd be ready to go when you pound the floor!
Will you trust me? Will you trust me?
SWEENEY: I just want to be sure
MRS. LOVETT: I'll be waiting below for the whistle to blow
SWEENEY: when I'm certain that you're in place
I'll pound three times
three times
To warn you
three times
that means

ENSEMBLE:
Exactly more hot pies! God!
More hot! right! More pies! More! Right!

MRS. LOVETT:
How about it dearie?
be here in a twinkling
just confirms my theory
Toby, God watches over us
sit and have an inkling
Toby, throw the old woman out

TOBY: (at same time as MRS. LOVETT)
Is that a pie fit for a king?
Oh wondrous sweet and most delectable thing
you see maam why there is no meat pie

ENSEMBLE:
God, that's good! That is de-have-u-licious at the tasty smell such oh my god what's perfect more that pies such flavor God
that's good!

JOHANNA (Sings):
Green finch and linnet bird,
Nightingale, blackbird,
How is it you sing?
How can you jubilate,
Sitting in cages,
Never taking wing?
Outside the sky waits,
Beckoning, beckoning,
Just beyond the bars.
How can you remain,
Staring at the rain,
Maddened by the stars?
How is it you sing
Anything?
How is it you sing?
Green finch and linnet bird,
Nightingale, blackbird,
How is it you sing?
Whence comes this melody constantly flowing?
Is it rejoicing or merely halloing?
Are you discussing or fussing
Or simply dreaming?
Are you crowing?
Are you screaming?
Ringdove and robinet,
Is it for wages,
Singing to be sold?
Have you decided it's
Safer in cages,
Singing when you're told?

(ANTHONY enters. Instantly he sees her and stands transfixed by her beauty)

My cage has many rooms,
Damask and dark.
Nothing there sings,
Not even my lark.
Larks never will, you know,
When they're captive.
Teach me to be more adaptive.
Green finch and linnet bird,
Nightingale, blackbird,
Teach me how to sing.
If I cannot fly,
Let me sing.
(She gazes into the middle distance disconsolately)

ANTHONY (Gazing at her, sings softly):
I have sailed the world,
Beheld its wonders,
From the pearls of Spain
To the rubies of Tibet,
But not even in London
Have I seen such a wonder . . .
(Breathlessly)
Lady look at me look at me miss oh
Look at me please oh
Favor me favor me with your glance.
Ah, miss,
What do you what do you see off
There in those trees oh
Won't you give won't you give me a chance?
Who would sail to Spain
For all its wonders,
When in Kearney's Lane
Lies the greatest wonder yet?
Ah, miss,
Look at you look at you pale and
Ivory-skinned oh
Look at you looking so sad so queer.
Promise
Not to retreat to the darkness
Back of your window
Not till you not till you look down here.
Look at

ANTHONY. JOHANNA:
Me! Green finch and linnet bird,
Look at Nightingale, blackbird,
Me! Teach me how to sing.
If I cannot fly,
Look at me .. . Let me sing ...

ANTHONY:

I feel you, Johanna,
I feel you.
I was half convinced I'd waken,
Satisfied enough to dream you.
Happily I was mistaken,
Johanna.
I'll steal you, Johanna,
I'll steal you.

[dialogue]

I'll steal you, Johanna,
I'll steal you.
Do they think that walls could hide you?
Even now, I'm at your window.
I am in the dark beside you,
Buried sweetly in your yellow hair!
I feel you, Johanna,
And one day I'll steal you!
Til I'm with you then,
I'm with you there,
Sweetly buried in your yellow hair!

ANTHONY:

I feel you, Johanna,
I feel you.
I was half convinced I'd waken,
Satisfied enough to dream you.
Happily I was mistaken,
Johanna.
I'll steal you, Johanna,
I'll steal you.

[dialogue]

I'll steal you, Johanna,
I'll steal you.
Do they think that walls could hide you?
Even now, I'm at your window.
I am in the dark beside you,
Buried sweetly in your yellow hair!
I feel you, Johanna,
And one day I'll steal you!
Til I'm with you then,
I'm with you there,
Sweetly buried in your yellow hair!

ANTHONY:

I feel you, Johanna,
I feel you.
I was half convinced I'd waken,
Satisfied enough to dream you.
Happily I was mistaken,
Johanna.
I'll steal you, Johanna,
I'll steal you.

[dialogue]

I'll steal you, Johanna,
I'll steal you.
Do they think that walls could hide you?
Even now, I'm at your window.
I am in the dark beside you,
Buried sweetly in your yellow hair!
I feel you, Johanna,
And one day I'll steal you!
Til I'm with you then,
I'm with you there,
Sweetly buried in your yellow hair!

JOHANNA (Sings):
He means to marry me Monday,
What shall I do? I'd rather die.
ANTHONY (Sings):
I have a plan ?
JOHANNA:
I'll swallow poison on Sunday,
That's what I'll do, I'll get some lye.
ANTHONY:
I have a plan ?
JOHANNA (Stops pacing suddenly):
Oh, dear, was that a noise?
ANTHONY:
A plan?
JOHANNA:
I think I heard a noise.
ANTHONY;
A plan!
JOHANNA:
It couldn't be,
He's in court,
He's in court today,
Still that was a noise,
Wasn't that a noise?
You must have heard that ?
ANTHONY:
Kiss me.
JOHANNA (Shyly):
Oh, sir...
ANTHONY:
Ah, miss ...
JOHANNA:
Oh, sir ...
(She turns away, agitatedly)
If he should marry me Monday,
What shall I do? I'll die of grief.
ANTHONY:
We fly tonight ?
JOHANNA:
'Tis Friday, virtually Sunday,
What can we do with time so brief?
ANTHONY:
We fly tonight ?
JOHANNA:
Behind the curtain ? quick!
ANTHONY:
Tonight ?
JOHANNA:
I think I heard a click!
ANTHONY:
Tonight!
JOHANNA:
It was agate!
It's the gate!
We don't have a gate.
Still there was a ? Wait!
There's another click!
You must have heard that ?
ANTHONY:
It's not a gate.
There's no gate,
You don't have a gate.
If you'd only listen, miss, and
ANTHONY;
Kiss me!
JOHANNA:
Tonight?
ANTHONY:
Kiss me.
JOHANNA:
You mean tonight?
ANTHONY:
The plan is made.
JOHANNA:
Oh, sir!
ANTHONY;
So kiss me.
JOHANNA:
I feel a fright.
ANTHONY:
Be not afraid.
JOHANNA:
Sir, I did
Love you even as I
Saw you, even as it
Did not matter that I
Did not know your name.
ANTHONY:
Tonight I'll
Steal
You,
JOHANNA,
I'll steal you ...
ANTHONY:
It's me you'll marry on Monday,
That's what you'll do!
JOHANNA:
And gladly, sir.
ANTHONY:
St. Dunstan's, noon.
JOHANNA:
I knew I'd be with you one day,
Even not knowing who you were.
I feared you'd never come,
That you'd been called away,
That you'd been killed,
Had the plague,
Were in debtor's jail,
Trampled by a horse,
Gone to sea again,
Arrested by the ?
JOHANNA:
Kiss me!
ANTHONY:
Of course.
JOHANNA:
Quickly!
ANTHONY:
Ah, miss,
Marry me, marry me, miss,
Oh, marry me Monday!
Favor me, favor me
With your hand.
Promise,
Marry me, marry me, please,
Oh, marry me Monday ?
ANTHONY:
You're sure?
JOHANNA:
Kiss me!
ANTHONY (Taking her in his arms):
I shall!
JOHANNA:
Kiss me!
Oh, sir ...
(Lights dim on them but remain; light rises on the JUDGE and the BEADLE, still walking together. Music continues under)
JUDGE (Strolling with BEADLE): Yes, yes, but surely the respect that she owes me as her guardian should be sufficient to kindle a more tender emotion.
BEADLE (Sings):
Excuse me, my lord.
May I request, my lord,
Permission, my lord, to speak?
Forgive me if I suggest, my lord,
You're looking less than your best, my lord,
There's powder upon your vest, my lord,
And stubble upon your cheek.
And ladies, my lord, are weak.
(Music continues)
JUDGE: Perhaps if she greets me cordially upon my return, I should give her a small gift. ..
BEADLE (Winces delicately):
Ladies in their sensitivities, my lord,
Have a fragile sensibility.
When a girl's emergent,
Probably it's urgent
You defer to her gent-
ility, my lord.
Personal disorder cannot be ignored,
Given their genteel proclivities.
Meaning no offense, it
Happens they resents it,
Ladies in their sensit-
ivities, my lord.
JUDGE (Feeling his chin): Stubble, you say? Perhaps at times I am a little overhasty with my morning ablutions .. .
BEADLE:
Fret not though, my lord,
I know a place, my lord,
A barber, my lord, of skill.
Thus armed with a shaven face, my lord,
Some eau de cologne to grace my lord
And musk to enhance the chase, my lord,
You'll dazzle the girl until
She bows to your every will.
JUDGE: That may well be so.
(They have reached the JUDGE 's house)
BEADLE: Well, here we are, sir. I bid you good day.
JUDGE: Good day.
(He muses, turns)
And where is this miraculous barber?
BEADLE: In Fleet Street, sir.
JUDGE: Perhaps you may be right. Take me to him.
(They start off. Light up on JOHANNA 's room. JOHANNA and ANTHONY get up from a couch)
BEADLE (Sings):
The name is TODD ...
JUDGE:
Todd,eh?
ANTHONY:
We'd best not wait until Monday
JOHANNA:
Sir, I concur,
And fully, too.
BEADLE:
Sweeney TODD.
ANTHONY:
It isn't right.
We'd best be married on Sunday.
JOHANNA:
Saturday, sir,
Would also do.
ANTHONY:
Or else tonight.
(The JUDGE and the BEADLE move past the house)
JOHANNA:
I think I heard a noise.
ANTHONY:
Fear not.
JOHANNA:
I mean another noise!
ANTHONY:
Like what?
JOHANNA:
Oh, never mind,
Just a noise
Just another noise,
Something in the street,
I'm a silly little
Ninnynoddle ?
ANTHONY:
You mustn't mind,
It's a noise,
Just another noise,
Something in the street,
You silly ?
BOTH (Falling into each other's arms):
Kiss me!
JOHANNA:
Oh, sir...
ANTHONY:
We'll go to Paris on Monday.
JOHANNA:
What shall I wear?
I daren't pack!
ANTHONY:
We'll ride a train ...
JOHANNA:
With you beside me on Sunday,
What will I care
What things I lack?
ANTHONY:
Then sail to Spain ...
JOHANNA:
I'll take my reticule.
I need my reticule.
You mustn't think
Me a fool
But my reticule
Never leaves my side,
It's the only thing
My mother gave me ?
Kiss me!
Kiss me!
We'll go there,
Kiss me!
We have a place where we can
ANTHONY:
Why take your reticule?
We'll buy a reticule.
I'd never think
You a fool,
But a reticule ?
Leave it all aside
And begin again and
Kiss me!
I know a place where we can go
Tonight.
Kiss me!
We have a place where we can
Go...Go tonight.
BEADLE {Simultaneously with the above):
The name is Todd.
JUDGE:
Todd?
BEADLE:
Todd. Sweeney Todd.
JUDGE:
Todd ...
BEADLE:
Todd.
ANTHONY:
I loved you
Even as I saw you,
Even as it did not
Matter that I did
Not know your name
Johanna,
Johanna,
Johanna…

JOHANNA:
I loved you
Even as I saw you,
Even as it does not
Matter that I still
Don't know your name, sir,
Even as I saw you,
Even as it does not
Matter that I still
Don't know your name . ..
BEADLE (Simultaneously with above):
Todd . . . Sweeney Todd.
JUDGE and BEADLE:
Sweeney Todd.
ANTHONY: Anthony . . .
JUDGE: Todd . . .
BEADLE: TODD.
JOHANNA: ANTHONY . . .
JUDGE: TODD, eh?
JOHANNA: ANTHONY:
I'll marry ANTHONY Sunday, You marry ANTHONY Sunday,
That's what I'll do. That's what you'll do,
No matter what! No matter what!
I knew you'd come for me I knew I'd come for you
one day, one day
Only afraid that you'd forgot. Only afraid that you'd forgot.
BEADLE (Simultaneously with above):
Ladies in their sensitivities, my lord ...
JUDGE:
Pray lead the way.
BEADLE:
Have a fragile sensibility ...
JUDGE:
Just as you say.
JOHANNA:
I feared you'd never come,
That you'd been called away,
That you'd been killed,
Had the plague,
Were in debtor's jail,
Trampled by a horse,
Gone to sea again,
Arrested by the ...
ANTHONY:
Marry me, marry me, miss,
You'll marry me Sunday.
Favor me, favor me
With your hand.
Promise,
Marry me, marry me,
That you'll marry me ?
Enough of all this ...
(He crushes her to him; they kiss)
BEADLE (Simultaneously with above):
When a girl's emergent,
Probably it's urgent. ..
Ladies in their sensitivities .. .
JUDGE:
Todd ...
JOHANNA (As she sinks to the floor with ANTHONY) :
Oh, sir ...
ANTHONY:
Ah, miss . . .
JOHANNA:
Oh, sir...
Oh, sir ...
Oh, sir ...
Oh, sir ...
Oh, sir ...
Oh, sir ...
ANTHONY:
Ah, miss ...
Ah, miss . . .
Ah, miss ...
Ah, miss ...
Ah, miss . . .

TODD:
These are my friends,
See how they glisten.
See this one shine,
How he smiles in the light,
My friends,
My faithful friends...

Speak to me, friend.
Whisper, I'll listen.
I know, I know
You've been locked out of sight
All these years!
Like me, my friend!
Well, I've come home
To find you waiting!
Home,
And we're together...
And we'll do wonders...
Won't we...?

[Simultaneously, for rest of song]
TODD:
You there, my friend,
Come, let me hold you.
Now, with a sigh,
You grow warm
In my hand...
My friend,
My clever friend...
LOVETT:
I'm your friend too, Mr. Todd.
If you only knew, Mr. Todd.
Ooh, Mr. Todd,
You're warm
In my hand...
You've come home...
Always had a fondness for you,
I did.

TODD:
Rest now, my friends.
Soon I'll unfold you.
Soon you'll know splendors
You never have dreamed
All your days,
My lucky friends.
Till now your shine
Was merely silver.
Friends,
You shall drip rubies,
You'll soon drip precious
Rubies...
LOVETT:
Never you fear, Mr. Todd.
You can move in here
Mr. Todd. Splendors
You never have dreamed
All your days
Will be yours!
I'm your friend,
And you're mine!
Don't they shine beautiful?
Silver's good enough for me,
Mr. T...

Antony

I have sailed the world
beheld its wonders
from the dardinells,
to the mountains of Peru,
But there's no place like London!
I feel home again...
I could hear the city bells ring...
Whatever would I do?
No there's...

Sweeney Todd

No place like London...

Antony (spoken)

Mr. Todd, sir

Sweeney Todd

You are young...
Life has been kind to you...
You will learn.
(Spoken) 'Tis here we go our seperate ways.
Farewell Antony.
I will not soon forget the good ship bountiful, nor the young man who saved my life.

Antony

(Spoken) There's no cause to thank me for that, sir.
It would have been a poor Christian indeed who would have spotted you
pinching and tossing on that raft and not given the alarm.

Sweeney Todd

(Spoken)
There's many a Christian would've done just that and not lost a winks sleep over it either.

Beggar Woman

(Sung) Alms, alms for a miserable woman, on a miserable chilly mornin'!
Thank ya, sir, thank ya...
How would ya like a little muff,
dear a little jig-jig,
a little bounce around the bush!
Wouldn't ya like to push me parsley?
It looks to me, dear, that you've got plenty there to push!
Alms, alms for a pitiful woman...
what's got wandering wits?
Hey! DOn't I know you, mister?

Sweeney Todd

Must you glare at me, woman?
Off with you!
Off I say!

Beggar Woman

Then how would ya like to split me muff?
Mister, we'll go jig-jig!
A little...

Sweeney Todd

Off I said!
To the devil with you!

Beggar Woman

Alms, alms for a pitiful woman!

Antony (Spoken)

Pardon me, sir, but there's no need to fear the likes of her,
she's only a half-crazed beggar woman...
London's full of them.

Sweeney Todd (spoken)

I beg your indulgance, boy, my mind is far from easy.
For in the once familiar streets I feel a chill of ghostly shadows everywhere.
Forgive me.

Antony (spoken)

There is nothing to forgive.

Sweeney Todd (spoken)

Farewell, Antony.

Antony (spoken)

Mr. Todd, before we part...

Sweeney Todd (spoken)

What is it?

Antony (spoken)

I have honored my promise never to question you.
Whatever brought you to that sorry shipwreck is your affair and yet, over
many weeks of our voyage home,
I've come to think of you as a friend,
and if trouble lies ahead for you in London, if you
need any help...or money.

Sweeney Todd (spoken)

No!
(sung)
There's a whole in the world like a great black pit
and the vermin of the world inhabit it
and its morals aren't worth what a pin can spit
and it goes by the name of London.
At the top of the hole sit the previlaged few
Making mock of the vermin in the lonely zoo
turning beauty to filth and greed...
I too have sailed the world and seen its wonders,
for the cruelty of men is as wonderous as Peru
but there's no place like London!
--
There was a barber and his wife
and she was beautiful...
a foolish barber and his wife.
She was his reason for his life...
and she was beautiful, and she was virtuous.
And he was nieve.
There was another man who saw
that she was beautiful...
A biased vulture of the law
who, with a gesture of his claw
removed the barber from his plate!
And there was nothing but to wait!
And she would fall!
So soft!
So young!
So lost and oh so beautiful!

Antony (spoken)

The lady, sir, did she, sir, come?

Sweeney Todd (sung)

Ah, that was many years ago...
I doubt if anyone would know.
(spoken)
Now leave me, Antony.
There is somewhere I must go,
something i must find out.
Now, and alone.

Antony (spoken)

But surely we will meet again before I am off to Plymouth?

Sweeney Todd (spoken)

If you want you may well find me around Fleet Street. I wouldn't wander.
(sung)
There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
and it's filled with people who are filled with shit!
And the vermin of the world inhabit it!

Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around.
Nothing's gonna harm you, no sir, not while I'm around.

Demons are prowling everywhere, nowadays,
I'll send 'em howling,
I don't care, I got ways.

No one's gonna hurt you,
No one's gonna dare.
Others can desert you,
Not to worry, whistle, I'll be there.

Demons'll charm you with a smile, for a while,
But in time...
Nothing can harm you
Not while I'm around...

Being close and being clever
Ain't like being true
I don't need to,
I would never hide a thing from you,
Like some...

No one's gonna hurt you, no one's gonna dare
Others can desert you,
Not to worry, whistle, I'll be there!
Demons'll charm you with a smile, for a while
But in time...
Nothing can harm you
Not while I'm around...