Joan was quizzical, studied 'pataphysical Science in the home Late nights all alone with a test tube Oh, ho-ho, ho Maxwell Edison, majoring in medicine Call her on the phone "Can I take you out to the pictures, Joan?" But as she's getting ready to go A knock comes on the door
Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer Came down upon her head Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer Made sure that she was dead
Back in school again Maxwell plays the fool again Teacher gets annoyed Wishing to avoid an unpleasant scene She tells Max to stay when the class has gone away So he waits behind Writing fifty times, "I must not be so, ho-ho, ho" But when she turns her back on the boy He creeps up from behind
Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer Came down upon her head Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer Made sure she was dead Whoa, whoa
P.C. thirty-one said, "We've caught a dirty one" Maxwell stands alone Painting testimonial pictures, oh, ho-ho, ho Rose and Valerie, screaming from the gallery Say he must go free The judge does not agree, and he tells them so, oh-oh, oh But as the words are leaving his lips A noise comes from behind
Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer Came down upon his head Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer Made sure that he was dead Whoa!
Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer Came down upon his head Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer Made sure that he was dead
King Tut (King Tut) Now when he was a young man, He never thought he'd see (King Tut) People stand in line to see the boy king. (King Tut)
How'd you get so funky? (Funky Tut) Did you do the monkey? Born in Arizona, Moved to Babylonia (King Tut).
(King Tut) Now, if I'd known They'd line up just to see him, (King Tut) I'd taken all my money And bought me a museum. (King Tut)
Buried with a donkey (Funky Tut) He's my favorite honkey! Born in Arizona, Moved to Babylonia (King Tut)
Dancin by the Nile, (Disco Tut) The ladies love his style, (Boss Tut) Rockin for a mile (Rockin' Tut) He ate a crocodile. (Ooh)
He gave his life for tourism. (King Tut)
(Tut, tut) (Tut, tut) Golden idol! (Tut, tut) (Tut, tut) (Tut, tut) He's an Egyptian. (Tut, tut) (Tut, tut) They're sellin' you (King Tut)
Now, when I die, Now don't think I'm a nut, (King Tut) Don't want no fancy funeral, Just one like ol' King Tut. (King Tut)
He coulda won a Grammy, (King Tut) Buried in his jammies, Born in Arizona, moved to Babylonia, He was born in Arizona, got a condo made of stone-a, King Tut!
King Tut (King Tut) Now when he was a young man, He never thought he'd see (King Tut) People stand in line to see the boy king. (King Tut)
How'd you get so funky? (Funky Tut) Did you do the monkey? Born in Arizona, Moved to Babylonia (King Tut).
(King Tut) Now, if I'd known They'd line up just to see him, (King Tut) I'd taken all my money And bought me a museum. (King Tut)
Buried with a donkey (Funky Tut) He's my favorite honkey! Born in Arizona, Moved to Babylonia (King Tut)
Dancin by the Nile, (Disco Tut) The ladies love his style, (Boss Tut) Rockin for a mile (Rockin' Tut) He ate a crocodile. (Ooh)
He gave his life for tourism. (King Tut)
(Tut, tut) (Tut, tut) Golden idol! (Tut, tut) (Tut, tut) (Tut, tut) He's an Egyptian. (Tut, tut) (Tut, tut) They're sellin' you (King Tut)
Now, when I die, Now don't think I'm a nut, (King Tut) Don't want no fancy funeral, Just one like ol' King Tut. (King Tut)
He coulda won a Grammy, (King Tut) Buried in his jammies, Born in Arizona, moved to Babylonia, He was born in Arizona, got a condo made of stone-a, King Tut!
Be courteous, kind and forgiving, Be gentle and peaceful each day, Be warm and human and grateful, And have a good thing to say.
Be thoughtful and trustful and childlike, Be witty and happy and wise, Be honest and love all your neighbors, Be obsequious, purple, and clairvoyant.
Be pompous, obese, and eat cactus, Be dull, and boring, and omnipresent, Criticize things you don't know about, Be oblong and have your knees removed.
Be tasteless, rude, and offensive, Live in a swamp and be three dimensional, Put a live chicken in your underwear, Get all excited and go to a yawning festival.
Be courteous, kind and forgiving, Be gentle and peaceful each day, Be warm and human and grateful, And have a good thing to say.
Be thoughtful and trustful and childlike, Be witty and happy and wise, Be honest and love all your neighbors, Be obsequious, purple, and clairvoyant.
Be pompous, obese, and eat cactus, Be dull, and boring, and omnipresent, Criticize things you don't know about, Be oblong and have your knees removed.
Be tasteless, rude, and offensive, Live in a swamp and be three dimensional, Put a live chicken in your underwear, Go into a closet and suck eggs