Loudon Wainwright III [배우]

It's wonderful to be alive
To be a bee in this beehive
It's tough as nails, it's smooth as silk
It's milk and honey, without milk

I work with flowers, it's my work
From this, there's no way that I can shirk
No-no-no-no-no, there is no complex philosophy
It's just because I'm a bee

Unlike the skunk, I do not smell
But I have a thing and it stings like hell
As heroes go, I'm unsung
But step on me and you'll get stung
You'll get stung

The cutest bee I've ever seen
Is our own big, fat sexy queen
It's true she hasn't got such great legs
But you should see the girl lay eggs

It's wonderful to be a bee
Although there are billions just like me
This hive of mine, I call it home
There is no place like comb sweet comb

Crossin' the highway late last night,
He shoulda looked left and he shoulda looked right,
He didn't see the station wagon, car,
The skunk got squashed and there you are!
(Chorus)
You got yer
Dead skunk in the middle of the road,
Dead skunk in the middle of the road,
Dead skunk in the middle of the road,
Stinkin' to high heaven!
Take a whiff on me that ain't no rose!
Roll up yer window and hold yer nose,
You don't have to look and you don't have to see,
'Cause you can feel it in your olfactory,
(Repeat Chorus)
Yeah you got yer dead cat and you got yer dead dog,
On a moonlight night you got yer dead toad frog
Got yer dead rabbit and yer dead raccoon,
The blood and the guts they're gonna make you swoon!
You got yer dead skunk, in the middle,
Dead skunk in the middle of the road.
Dead skunk in the middle of the road,
Stinkin' to high heaven.
C'mon stink!
(Fiddle break)
You got it,
It's dead, it's in the middle,
Dead skunk in the middle!
Dead skunk in the middle of the road,
Stinkin' to high heaven!
All over the road, technicolor man!
Oh, you got pollution.
It's dead, it's in the middle,
And it's stinkin' to high, high heaven!
(Fiddle fadeout)

Drunk men stagger, drunk men fall
Drunk men swear and that's not all
Quite often they will urinate outdoors

Like widowed women, drunk men weep
Like children curled up, drunk men sleep
Like a dog, a drunk will crawl around on all fours

Be he broke bum or rich rake
His dinner be it bread or cake
His beverage be the worse of whiskey, finest wine

Puke it stinks and so it seems
That drunkards go to great extremes
But there has yet to be a perfectly straight line

Drunks talk strong when drunks are weak
It's easy for a drunk to speak
Straight from the heart

Yeah, drunks will fight they're not afraid
To kiss the mistress and make the maid
It's a manly art

Oh but big toll will take
Blood vessels in nose will break
Bags beneath the eyes, another sign

Drunks get ugly, so it seems
That drunkards go to great extremes
But there has yet to be a perfectly straight line

Drunks are friendly when they're drunk and
Drunks are hostile when they're drunk
Which drunk it is, it all depends upon

When drunks aren't drunk, they thirst for drink
And the elephants are grey, not pink
And the drink evaporates the man is gone, gone, gone, gone

Back to the yachts and the subway cars
To the hip-flasks and fruit jars
Flat on the face and flat on the behind

Oh, drunks get drunk and so it seems
That drunkards go to great extremes
But there has yet to be a perfectly straight line

Straight line
Straight line

East Indian princess lives in a western dream
Happy like a child, her mother is a queen
You know she's safe as a cow on a Calcutta street
This English way of life has got that other life beat

And reading magazines, she sits in straightbacked chairs
She's got a common welfare, she's got a queen that cares
She's got meat on her bones, she doesn't starve at least
Not like the folks back home, not like the folks back east

Yeah, but this Indian is English, no matter how she tries
You know the sari and the sandals, it's just a bad disguise
She got a mark on her forehead, she got a stud in her nose
Yeah, but this Indian is English and I'm afraid it shows

'Cause you can see her at Wimpey's and on a movie queue line
Her river's not the Ganges, it is the Serpentine
East Indian princess, she got the western pain
She got the western mind, that girl has gone insane

I went down to the library, you know the big one way downtown
I went down to the library, you know the big one way downtown
I pulled out my spiral notebook and my scripto pencil
These, these, these are the words that I did put down

I’m a dud-fire cracker, I ain’t got any fuse
I ain’t got no inspiration since I lost my muse
I’m a table with two legs, I’m a spider with five
I’m going down, slow muse, when will you arrive?

Oh muse, where are you?
Oh muse, where are you?
You know I eat, drink and I smoke stuff
I don’t know what to do

I went to the mountain and the desert too
I was there ladies so where were you
I’m a flattened out wave, I ain’t got any curl
I’m an empty old oyster, I ain’t got any pearl

Muse, where are you?
Oh muse, where are you?
You know I eat, drink and I smoke stuff
I don’t know what to do

Sit up late, stay up wait
It’s a rule of thumb she’s got to come
Sit up late, stay up wait
It’s a rule of thumb she’s got to come

I take lots of cold showers and I go for long walks
I wait for a pitch but the fickle bitch barks
Took a shot of whiskey and a snort of cocaine
Opened up my head and stuck electrodes in my brain

Oh muse, where are you?
Where are you muse, oh where are you?
You know I eat, drink and I smoke stuff
I eat, drink and I smoke stuff
I eat, drink and I smoke stuff
I don’t know what to do

At the station you can meet her
With that smile you couldn?t cheat her
A woman that kind is hard to find

It?s good to take a girl
In the not so very good world
And walk in the park until it gets dark

Sometimes I feel ugly and old
Excuse me, baby, if I?m acting bold
My head gets hot but my feet aren?t cold
Excuse me if you will

Take a breather on a bench
Helps to build up the suspense
Then the two of you go to a movie show

If she?s a woman there?s a chance
That she maybe likes to dance
So you go to the hall and you out step ?em all

Don?t make a hullabaloo, I?m not the hoi polloi
I?ll try any trick and I?ll pull any ploy
I?m a used up twentieth century boy
Excuse me if you will

She takes you home to meet the folks
Laughing at the fathers jokes
Shall we watch TV? It?s all right with me

Time to go, you?re going to miss her
In the doorway try to kiss her
Oh, it tastes so good like you hoped it would

If I was 16 again I?d give my eyetooth
I?m tired and I?m hungry and I?m looking for my youth
I?m a little uncool and I?m a little uncouth
Oh, excuse me, yes, excuse me if you will

At the station you can meet her
With that smile you couldn?t cheat her
A woman that kind is hard to find

Used to have a red guitar until I smashed it one drunk night
Smashed it in the classic form as Peter Townsend might
I threw it in the fireplace, I left it there awhile
Kate, she started crying when she saw my sorry smile

Red guitar was made of wood, could not take the heat
Red guitar, it caught on fire and the damage was complete
It burned until all that was left was six pegs and six strings
Kate, she said "You are a fool, you've done a foolish thing."

I put the remains in the case and I put the case away
Went to New York City for a new guitar the next day
I bought myself a blond guitar, I had if for three days
Some junky stole my blond guitar. God works in wondrous ways

Told you I love you
Talked on the [Incomprehensible]
You'd said that you like me, feel like a fool
Say that you like me, that's not enough

Say that you love me, I'm calling your bluff
Say that you love me, say that it's true
Say that you love me and I said it to you

I don't want a new bow tie
I don't want a new dress
It's time to admit it
Come on, it's time to confess

Say that you love me, open your heart
Three simple words, least it's a start
Come on, say that you love me, say that it's true
Say that you love me and I said it to you

Well, it's been said before and you can say it again
I got to be more than just one of your friends
I must know you love me, there must be no doubt
Open your heart, open your mouth

Say that you love me, say that it's true
Say that you love me and I said it to you
Say that you love me, say that it's, say that it's true
Say that you love me and I said it to you

We've come a long way since we last shook hands
Still got a long way to go
We couldn't see the flowers since we last shook hands
Couldn't see the flowers on account of the snow
What did you do with your burden and your cross
Did you carry it yourself or did you crack
You and I know that a burden and a cross
Can only be carried on one man's back
All my life I wanted to roam
To go to the ends of the earth
But the earth really ends where you started to roam
You and I know what a circle is worth
Let's drink a cup to what went down
There's not much left to reveal
I think I changed my mind after what went down
As to who in the end got the better deal
Give me your hand for the parting touch
Fare thee well and thanks a lot
I know that we promised we would keep in touch
But you and I know that we both forgot
We've come a long way since we last shook hands
Still got a long way to go
Couldn't see the flowers when we last shook hands
Couldn't see the flowers on account of the snow

Well, I call you up on the phone: nobody's at home.
Then I do my usual thing: I let the telephone ring and ring and ring.
I'm standing at a phone booth, coping with the ugly truth.

You see, I know where you are... I know where you are.
You're down drinking at the bar.

I can picture you there on that stool, drinking like a drunken fool.
Yeah, you're sitting there on your ass, muttering into your glass.
Paying for your lowlife thrills with wet quarters and soggy one dollar bills.

I know where you are, baby.
You're down drinking at the bar.

Dean Martin's on the jukebox, I bet.
Or maybe it's Tammy Wynette.
The tearjerkers are jerking your tears.
Salt water in your whiskey and your beers.
You've got the Miller High Life bouncing balls.
You've got the Utica Club waterfalls.

I know where you are, oh ho.
You're down at the bar.
You're down at the bar.

Go ahead get drunk, it's alright.
Lost weekend on a Tuesday night.
But I'm going to have to give you the score:
I'm not going to call you up on the telephone no more.
I'm sick and tired of listening to that phone ring 15 times.
I'm sick and tired of getting back my dimes!

Because I know what you are.
You're at sot, that's what you are.
I know what you are.
You're a lush.
You got a big red nose!

I know where you are, baby.
I know where you are...
You're down drinking at the bar.

I was standing down in Jerusalem Town one day
I was standing down in Jerusalem Town one day
I was standing down in Jerusalem Town one day
Singing... I am the way

I can walk on the water and I can raise the dead
I can walk on the water and I can raise the dead
I can walk on the water and I can raise the dead
It's easy.... I'm the way

(spoken: this song has a romantic part to it)

Don't tell nobody but I kissed Magdalene
Don't tell nobody but I kissed Magdalene
Don't tell nobody but I kissed Magdalene
Right on the mouth
I said Mary it's okay I'm the way

(spoken: this is the pitiful part)

Every son of God gets a little hard luck sometimes
Every son of God gets a little hard luck sometimes
Every son of God gets a little hard luck sometimes
Specially when he goes around saying he's the way

I am the way
I am the way
I'm the way

Shut up and go to bed
Put the pillow under your head
I'm sick and tired of all your worries
Shut up and say goodnight
Say your prayers and turn off the light
I'm sick and tired of all your sob-stories

Shut up and shut your eyes
No more histrionics, no more college tries
Stop pushing, stop shoving, stop straining
Shut your mouth and button your lip
You're a late night faucet that's gotta drip
All you're doing is merely complaining

The excuse that you're crazy is useless
You're not biting you're barking you're toothless
But you're ruthless (you're Rufus)

Shut up and count some sheep
And do me a favor, don't bitch in your sleep
No more agony, please no more sorrow
Shut up and catch some Zs
Ice cream with a cherry plus a big pretty please
I promise we'll resume tomorrow...Goodnight.

Well it's 3am, and so I creep
Around the house 'cause you're asleep
I can't sleep, I gotta smoke
I think I left some in my coat
No they're not there, but there's a chance
I left some in a packet in my pants

Bumped into the table, just below the belt
If you were a man baby you'd know how that felt
Just one thing I don't want to do
And that one thing is to wake up you
My hands are shaking, my brow it is damp
Bumped into the chair, knocked over the lamp
Bumped into the chair, knocked over the lamp

Sure I know where some cigarettes are
But it's too cold outside to go to the car
I know this habit of mine, it's gotta be fed

I'm gonna get down I'm gonna scrounge around under the bed
Under the bed, down on the floor
Up on top baby I can hear you snore
Snore baby... ooooooh
Snore baby... ooooooh
Eureka! I'm in luck
I found some matches and a crumpled butt
And just to show I love you
I'm not gonna look for an ashtray baby, I'm gonna use your shoe!

There once was a man who just couldn't cry
He hadn't cried for years and for years
Napalmed babies and the movie love story
For instance could not produce tears
As a child he had cried as all children will
Then at some point his tear ducts ran dry
He grew to be a man, the feces hit the fan
Things got bad, but he couldn't cry

His dog was run over, his wife up and left him
And after that he got sacked from his job
Lost his arm in the war, was laughed at by a whore
Ah, but sill not a sniffle or sob

His novel was refused, his movie was panned
And his big Broadway show was a flop

He got sent off to jail; you guessed it, no bail
Oh, but still not a dribble or drop

In jail he was beaten, bullied and buggered
And made to make license plates
Water and bread was all he was fed
But not once did a tear stain his face

Doctors were called in, scientists, too
Theologians were last and practically least

They all agreed sure enough; this was sure no cream puff
But in fact an insensitive beast

He was removed from jail and placed in a place
For the insensitive and the insane
He played lots of chess and made lots of friends
And he wept every time it would rain

Once it rained forty days and it rained forty nights
And he cried and he cried and he cried and he cried

On the forty-first day, he passed away
He just dehydrated and died

Well, he went up to heaven, located his dog
Not only that, but he rejoined his arm
Down below, all the critics, they loot it all back
Cancer robbed the whore of her charm

His ex-wife died of stretch marks, his ex-employer went broke
The theologians were finally found out

Right down to the ground, that old jail house burned down
The earth suffered perpetual drought

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Lyrics Powered by LyricFind
Written By WAINWRIGHT
<i>Lyrics &copy; DOWNTOWN MUSIC PUB LLC OBO SNOWDEN MUSIC, INC.(ASCAP)</i>

This summer I went swimming
This summer I might have drowned
But I held my breath, I kicked my feet
Moved my arms around
I moved my arms around

This summer I swam in the ocean
And I swam in a swimming pool
Salt my wounds, chlorined my eyes
I'm a self-destructive fool
Self-destructive fool

This summer I did the back stroke
And you know that that's not all
I did the breast stroke, the butterfly
And the old Australian crawl
The old Australian crawl

This summer I swam in a public place
And a reservoir to boot
At the latter I was informal
At the former I wore my suit
I wore my swimming suit

Oh, this summer I did swan dives
And jack-knives for you all
And once when you weren't looking
I did a cannon-ball
I did a cannon-ball

This summer I went swimming
This summer I might have drowned
But I held my breath, I kicked my feet
And moved my arms around

People will know when they see this show
The kind of a guy I am
They'll recognize just what I stand for and what I just can't stand
They'll perceive what I believe in
And what I know is true
And they'll recognize I'm a one man guy
Always was through and through

People meditate
Hey that's just great
Trying to find the inner you
People depend on family and friend
And other folks to pull them through

I don't know why I'm a one man guy
Or why I'm a one man show
But these three cubic feet of bone and blood and meat are all I love and know

'Cause I'm a one man guy in the morning
Same in the afternoon
One man guy when the sun goes down
I whistle me a one man tune

One man guy a one man guy
Only kind of guy to be
I'm a one man guy
I'm a one man guy
I'm a one man guy is me

I'm gonna bathe and shave
And dress myself and eat solo every night
Unplug the phone, sleep alone
Stay away out of sight
Sure it's kind of lonely
Yeah it's sort of sick
Being your own one and only
Is a dirty selfish trick

'Cause I'm a one man guy in the morning
Same in the afternoon
One man guy when the sun goes down
I whistle me a one man tune
One man guy a one man guy
Only kind of guy to be
I'm a one man guy
I'm a one man guy
I'm a one man guy is me