DJ Format

(feat. Abdominal)

[VERSE 1: Abdominal]
Well hello and welcome
If you could wipe your feet on the doormat
Please, come in - oh Format...
We got company, where's my manners, let me take your coats
I hope you're hungry for some flavorful quotes
Which I whipped up myself, I'm really hopin that you like it
I call it the Abdominal Special, I eat a hype dish
Format? I think he's still in the kitchen
Slavin over platters, you know, cooking rhythms
Come again? Oh, he said that the beats are finished
I guess all that's left to do is just remix it
You say you wanna help, okay, how about you set the table
And what's this, a beautiful patch cable, for me?
Really, you shouldn't have
Please excuse me, I'ma just go and grab
A spare apron to keep your gear fresh
Format, where's the food, it's rude, we have guests

[CHORUS: Abdominal]
Dinner's served, so yo, come and get it
Abdominal and Format cookin up the splendid
Concoctions, explosions of flavor
Check the ill culinary behaviour
You need seconds? Yo, come and get it
Abdominal and Format whippin up the splendid
Delicacies, explosions of flavor
Check the ill culinary behaviour

[VERSE 2: Abdominal]
Okay, you're right here, and if you could sit there
Format needs the chair closest to the kitchen
In case he needs to fix the snare
Which I'm sure will be crispy enough
Ah-ah-ah, we're all hungry, but before we tuck
In and stuff our faces, we really must say graces
My turn, so here goes, Lord, thank you for bangin beats we lace
And of course the microphones that we rap into
Amen, that's through, so let's eat, pass the loops, bro
Soup? No, I said loops, so
Delicious with the fishes, nutritious
Servin roasted rapper, that's the first dish on my wish list
Just gobble it up, then proceed to lick the plate clean
Taste the cuisine whipped up by the great team
Of culinary experts, Ab and a digit
Between 3 and 5 followed by a non-shiny finish
For-mat for the punchline-inept
Keep eating cause there's tons of food left
Really, you just have to taste some home-cooked

[CHORUS]

[DJ Format cuts up]
(Actin ill)
(Actin ill)
(Actin ill)
(The behaviour)
(Actin ill)
(Actin ill)
(Actin ill)
(Watch your behaviour)

[VERSE 3: Abdominal]
I got the feeling that everybody is ready for dessert to be served
But before I bring it out I got somethin to say first
Abdominal Junior, you will get nothing, young man
Until you finish those breaks on your plate
Cause all across the land there be starvin MC's
Who'd be happy to rock to beats like these
You should be a little bit more considerate
And think of this before pushing your dish away without finishing it
And while I'm at it, get your elbows off the damn console
Really, where's your manners?
I'm ashamed to have to scold you right in front of our guests
But you leave me no choice
I'm truly sorry that I had to raise my voice
But my son's behaviour simply inexcusable
And if I don't see some improvement soon, my fuse'll blow
Is that clear, mister? Good, I'm glad we understand one another
Now go help your brother Little Format
Clear the table, put the leftovers in some Tupperware
So tomorrow we'll have supper prepared
Oh what's that, you say you must be leaving?
Such a pity, what a lovely evening
Well, thanks for coming, we must do it again sometime
I hope you ate enough - of our beats and rhymes

[CHORUS]

(Ill) (behaviour)

(This mornin for breakfast I had bacon, egg and chips
Three cups of tea, a man to smack me lips
I said to John me husband, "Ain't I gettin fat?"
He said, "Not really, love, I like ya like like that"
But he's kiddin, you know?
Why do I got to be fat?
Why have I got to be fat?
And then for lunch I had...)

(feat. MC Abdominal)

[Abdominal]
I like to rap a lot so permit me to rap a little
My name is Abdominal I'll make you laugh and giggle
Just like a little schoolgirl when I'm touching the mic
Me and a crap rapper? Nothing alike
Cos they crap, and I'm not
Could you demonstrate? Why not
Let me take this little opportunity so soon you'll see
How you and me be different when it comes to fluency
The crowd be rooting me and booing thee
First to hit 3 lines that you be polluting the
Atmosphere with, you'll get subjected to scrutiny
Stupidly oblivious to the soon-to-be mutiny on the
Part of the crowd,,eventually even your crew will be like
"Abdominal is pretty damn good"
But that's what I've been trying to say man
Would you remove those bananas from your earholes and pay attention
In the long run this will bring everyone less tension
And I won't be forced to have to hit you with these vicious battle raps
But really less battle raps than straight up facts
Kinda like a news report
Untrue? Fuck you be this Jews retort!
You'll lose the sport, can't you see the predicament?
Nurse, gauze, and lots of ligaments
Victim sent courtesy of a friendly neighbourhood Abdominal
Doing his best to fill the hospitals
They say he's some sort of musical vigilante
On a one-man crusade to do away with anything even remotely wack
He rips the lips off of rappers and frees the tracks
We really can't thank him enough I'd love to shake his hand
Say thanks for taking a stand evacuating the land of the uncreative and bland
"Doctor is it true when they say that he's as handsome as a deity"
Like a chiselled greek god, plus nimble like a tree frog
But with the strength of 10 men, who each possess the strength of ten men!
"In other words the strength of 100 men?"
Nurse, please dont interrupt me when
I'm in the midst of a descriptive homage to this folk legend
Rumour has it that he's bench-pressing
At least 400 pounds and that's with the left arm alone!
What about the right? Writing poems
Simultaneously, insane ya can see but that's the type of mc that we're
Dealing with here, highly creative annunciation impeccable
Delivery style versatile very flexible breath control unparalelled
In his line of work his rhymes will hurt these spineless jerks
Yeah they'll still find the time to flirt, with all kinds of skirts
"He should try a nurse" keep your mind on your work
Like he keeps his mind on the verse when he's timing his words
You could set your clock to the rhyming ya heard eminating from between the two lips
Of the ABD-om-INAL, suckers think they swell
He'll be like "hmm pray tell"
They straight K-Tel wheras he be cold chilling
Steady knocking fillings outta mouths of super-villains
And then charging 'em for dental repairs
Lay em down gently in the dental chair
Fasten the bib, a real no-brainer
Next step in the procedure administer the novacaine
Or better yet a more effective anaesthetic
Like a pint of chilled rubbing alcohol for the vocally pathethic
Once theyre snorin the work commences by this
Blood-splattered, demented dentist
Dr. Abdominal extracting tongues, rendering wack rappers dumb
Some who look like they got a bit of endurance
Also get their lips sewn shut for assurance
I know it sounds harsh but he can't be sympathetic
In his war against the wackness it's an epidemic
Spreading over cities nations and continents
Abdominal heaven-sent antidote, through dopeness
With a 'M' on my chest, for microphonist