Stephin Merritt

In the darkness she embraces
The man of a million faces
Soon on backstreets she paces
Freezing in flimsy laces

Quite the psychiatric case
Is the man of a million faces
Wielder of flails and mases
Veteran of high-speed chases

Not a single victim places
The man of a million faces
No one knows what his race is
No sin or crime disgraces
The man of a million faces

See them on their big bright screen
Tan and blonde and seventeen
Eating nonfood keeps them mean
But they're young forever

If they must grow up
They marry dukes and earls
I hate California girls

They ain't broke, so they put on airs
The faux folk sans derrieres
They breathe coke and they have affairs
With each passing rock star

They come on like squares
Then get off like squirrels
I hate California girls

Looking down their perfect noses
At me and my kind
Do they think we won't?
Well, never mind

Laughing through their perfect teeth
At everyone I know
Do they think we won't
Get up and go? So

I have planned my grand attacks
I will stand behind their backs
With my brand-new battle ax
Then will they taste my wrath

They will hear me say
As the pavement whirls
"I hate California girls"

They will hear me say
As the pavement whirls
"I hate California girls"

They will hear me say
As the pavement whirls
"I hate California girls"

They will hear me say
As the pavement whirls
"I hate California girls"

They will hear me say
As the pavement whirls
"I hate California girls"

They will hear me say
As the pavement whirls

Well, courtesans shed no tears
When you leave them high and dry
They just go on, they just go on
To the next guy

'Cause courtesans only want
Compensation for their time
A few kind words, a few kind words
They need not rhyme

A sable coat, maybe a hat
Oh, I wish I could be like that

But courtesans are not like me
They don't take love very hard
Their hearts are free, their hearts are free
How avant-garde

If no one loves them when they're old
They'll sit and count their chains of gold

You say you'll love them till you die
And they don't care if it's a lie

'Cause courtesans don't believe
In anybody but themselves
And Santa Claus, and Santa Claus
And his twelve elves

Drive on, driver
There's no one home
We've waited hours
She didn't come

It's such a pretty little ring
But it doesn't mean anything
Drive on

Drive on, driver
And don't you cry
I gave her everything
Money could buy

I always said that girl
Deserved the whole wide world
Drive on

And take me to the airport
I need to be extremely far away
So I can forget about her
I might forget about her someday

Drive on, Randy
It's all gone wrong
Have some brandy
Sing me a song

Something soft and low
Can we please just go?
Drive on

Something soft and low
Can we please just go?
Drive on

Long
and lonely nights,
I've waited for you
to put things to rights.
Leaving you to do
your thing without
disturbance from me.
Somehow I doubt
you'll ever be
back.
I'll keep your things:
if you ever need them,
the phone still rings.
And now that you're free
of me at last,
your time is your own:
go have a blast
and I'll dream alone
without you;
I'll dream alone
if I must;
because I guess our little castle in the sky just turned to dust.
So I'll dream alone: that's showbiz.
I'll dream alone from the end,
and I'll be trying not to dream of what was once and might have been:
if only I'd known.
I'll dream alone.

Dreams we had a few
But what kind of dream
beats you black and blue?
I wanted to scream, "don't go away",
but nothing came out;
all I could say was:

I'll dream alone
without you;
I'll dream alone
if I must;
because I guess our little castle in the sky just turned to dust.
So I'll dream alone: that's showbiz.
I'll dream alone from the end,
and I'll be trying not to dream of what was once and might have been:
if only I'd known.
I'll dream alone.

I walk alone around the town
I used to walk with you
I watch the lonely snow come down
down Seventh Avenue
Now dreadful decorations deck the air
and mistletoe is hanging everywhere
but you no longer care

Oh, Mr. Mistletoe
hanging above
please go away
I've got no one to love
Oh Mr. Mistletoe
wither and die
you useless weed
for no one have I
Oh, Mr. Mistletoe
how very rude
Couldn't you tell
I'm not in the mood?
Oh, Mr. Mistletoe
go find your tree
Didn't you know?
There's no Christmas for me

Oh, Mr. Mistletoe
go find your tree
Didn't you know?
There's no Christmas for me

Old fools, dancing
Old fools who believe
That they can dance and sing
And fall in love
After all, love

Old wines, old shoes
Old lines who would've thought
They would ever reuse
Like I, love you
Surprise I, love you

Flowers, long drive
Old fools, new lives

Old fools, dancing
Old rules take the
Backseat to new romancing
Long drives, flowers
Old fools, new lives

Please stop dancing in my head
I have cried till I'm half dead
Please stop dancing in my head

Please stop dancing in my mind
I have cried till I'm half blind
Please stop dancing in my mind

Please stop dancing in my heart
I can't seem to make it art
Please stop dancing in my heart

Please stop dancing in my soul
I can't make it rock 'n' roll
Please stop dancing in my soul

Please stop dancing in my sleep
I can't make it twang and beep
Please stop dancing in my sleep

Please stop dancing in my eyes
I can't make it pretty lies
Please stop dancing in my eyes

Please stop dancing in my blood
Ill wind blowing no one good
Please stop dancing in my blood

Please stop dancing in my life
I will never be your wife
Please stop dancing in my life

I want to be a playboy's bunny
I'd do whatever they asked me to.
I'd meet people with lots of money,
and men would love me like I loved you.

I want to be a topless waitress,
I want my mother to shed one tear.
I'd throw away this old sedate dress
slip into something a tad more shear.

I want to be an artist's model
An odalisque au naturel
I should be good at spin the bottle
While I've still got something left to sell

I want to be a cobra dancer
With little willie between my thighs
I may not find a cure for cancer
But I'll meet plenty of single guys.

I'd like to be a brothel worker,
I've always been treated like one.
If I could be a backstreet lover,
I'd make more money and have more fun.

I want to be a dominatrix
which isn't like me, but I can dream.
Learn S&M and all those gay tricks
and men will pay me to make them scream

I want to be a porno starlet
For that I'll wait till mom is dead
I'd see my name in lights of scarlet
And get to spend everyday in bed

I want to be a tattooed lady,
Dedicated as I am to art.
Characters bold, complex, and shady
Will write my memoirs across my heart

Three-Way!
Three-Way!
Three-Way!

Through sleet and snow and storm and hail
Through every degradation and betrayal
Past rhyme and reason and beyond the pale
Darling, I will love you till the bitter end
And all the bitter moments till then

Through time and tomb and Tim and Tom
Through pro and con and quid pro quo and qualm
Through tidal wave and asteroid and bomb
Darling, I will love you till the bitter end
And all the bitter moments till then

And when your charms begin to fade
And when you feel old and afraid
I'll scratch beneath your shoulder blade and whisper
My love is deeper than I show

Remember what I said through sleet and snow
So even though I know you have to go
Darling, I will love you till the bitter end
And all the bitter moments till then

Sober, life is a prison
Shit faced, it is a blessing
Sober, nobody wants you
Shit faced, they're all undressing

Oh, sober, it's ever darker
Shit faced, the moon is nearer
Sober, you're old and ugly
Shit faced, who needs a mirror?

Oh, sober, you're a cromagnon
Shit faced, you're very clever
Sober, you never should be
Shit faced, now and forever

I gotta get too drunk to dream
'Cause dreaming only makes me blue
I gotta get too drunk to dream
Because I only dream of you

I gotta get too pissed to miss you
Or I'll never get to sleep
I gotta drink wine not to pine for you
And God knows that ain't cheap

I know you think I'm insane
I know it's not appealing
But till I'm feeling no pain
Guess what I'll be feeling?

I gotta get too drunk to dream
'Cause dreaming only makes me blue
I gotta get too drunk to dream
Because I only dream of you

I gotta get too fried to cry
Or I'll be crying all night long
I gotta get too high to sigh
Oh, my God, where did I go wrong?

So why do I get plastered?
And why am I so lonely?
It's you, you heartless bastard
You're my one and only

I gotta get too drunk to dream
'Cause dreaming only makes me blue
I gotta get too drunk to dream
Because I only dream of you

I gotta get too pissed to miss you
Or I'll never get to sleep
I gotta drink wine not to pine for you
And God knows that ain't cheap
And God knows that ain't cheap

Xavier says, "Ha, ha, ha
We have nothing in common
See you round ta-ta
Slink back to your abominable lover
Zsa-Zsa, before I blow your cover
Tra-lala"

Zsa-Zsa's scene, tacky queen
You think there's no one but you
Get your crass little ass
Out and don't make me cut you
With how much you talk you'd think
That someone else was listening
Want a drink, Miss Thing?

"Slow gin fizz', says Xavier
Zsa-Zsa orders and drinks come
"Here it is, teddy bear
To your health, you rat fink scum"
Xavier wheezes, "I forgot"
Before each line he sneezes quite a lot

Two roosters I slew and with all of my might
I prayed hard for you in Haiti at night
Your skin has turned blue and your hair has turned white
Must be the voodoo of this Haitian moonlight

We can't take day trips but oh, those moonlight strolls
Dressed up in silk slips, high heels and mink stoles
You swivel your hips as I work the controls
No blood ever drips when I widen your holes

Zombie boy, Zombie boy
Zombie boy, Zombie boy

You seem to have died of some form of the pox
They left you inside, your tiny black box
I heard when you cried and I answered your knocks
Let's make you a bride with another two cocks

You look pretty good for so long in the ground
You smell like a sewer but you don't make a sound
I feed you ordure to keep Poopsie spellbound
I like to be sure you'll be sticking around

Zombie boy, Zombie boy
Zombie boy, Zombie boy

Zombie boy, Zombie boy
Zombie boy, Zombie boy