The Tiger Lillies

I'll pick you up early
From the school gates at 3:30
I'll take you down Soho
Be ready to Go-Go
The perverts will be ready
The queue it will be steady
I'll charge you 50 percent
And then I'll charge you for the rent

Am I bad?
Yes, he's bad
Am I bad?
Yes, he's bad

I'll feed you narcotics
Make sure you're erotic
And then I'll feed some to your pals
And soon I'll have a chain of gals
I'll wait outside your school
I'll seem so nice, I'll seem so cool
In my expensive car
I promise I'll make you a star

Am I bad?
Yes, he's bad
Am I bad?
Yes, he's bad

I'll get you a modeling contract
Just lie here on your back
And let perverts stick it in
And leer at you with sickly grins
My paedophile ring, it's the best
My customers they all attest
So come on perverts, come on down
I've got the best ring in the town

Am I bad?
Yes, he's bad
Am I bad?
Yes, he's bad
Am I bad?
Yes, he's bad
Am I bad?
Yes, he's bad

I keep it in the family
All my daughters work for me

Well as he’d often done before
My neighbour from next door
One fine summer’s day went out
To the shops to walk about

And as he found it hot poor fella
He took with him his green umbrella
When Edward noisy little wag
He came out and waved his flag

And William came in jacket trim
And brought his wooden hoop with him
And Arthur brought his toys
And joined the other bully boys
Well those silly bully boys
They lost all their toys

Well tall Agrippa lives close by
So tall he almost touched the sky
He was giant through and through
He was giant through and through

He called out in an angry tone
To leave my neighbour alone
But they didn’t mind a bit
What tall Agrippa said of it

Well those silly bully boys
They lost more than their toys

Well tall Agrippa foamed with rage
Just look at him on this very page
He seizes Arthur seizes Ned
He smashes all their tiny heads

Then they don’t scream and they don’t call
They are corpses one and all
Three little corpses one two three
They’re all as dead as can be

Well those silly bully boys
They lost more than their toys
Well those silly bully boys
Because Agrippa they annoyed
Well those silly bully boys
They lost more than their toys
Silly bully boys
Because Agrippa they annoyed

In Polynesia the weather is fine,
the Frenchies experiment all of the time,
we are all full of shit, we know this is true,
but when you ain't got a bumhole, you feel blue.

bumhole, bumhole, give us a bumhole do.

the Rainbow Warrior, they blew it up,
'cause it tried to kick up a terrible fuss,
nuclear testing is all very well,
when you ain't got a bumhole, life can be hell.

bumhole, bumhole, give us a bumhole do.

well we don't care about the size,
we don't care about the shape
but when you haven't got one,
it feels like a mistake.

bumhole, bumhole, give us a bumhole do.
give us a bumhole do..

There must be a reason
There must be a time
There must be a God
Who is divine

By the moon

There must be God
There must be a plan
It cannot be chaos
Each one of us damned

By the moon

When are going to come
Off of your cloud
And realise
There's nothing
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing

By the moon

There must be somebody
Who did create
There must be a reason
There must be fate

By the moon

There must be a deity
In the stars
Who controls all
From afar

By the moon

No destiny, astrology
No happy ever after
No God, no saviour, no knight
No knight in shiny armour

By the moon

There must be a book
Which states the law
There must be an order
Which is not flawed

By the moon

There must be a reason
Why we exist
There must be a reason
For all of this

By the moon

No intervention
From the divine
If God exists
Then God is a swine

By the moon

So when are you going to come
Off of your cloud
And realise there's nothing
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing

By the moon

Let's see if Philip can
Be a little gentleman
Let's see if Philip's able
To sit at the table

Mama bades Phil behave
And papa he looks very grave
But fidgety Phil he won't sit still
He wriggles and he giggles

Yeah fidgety fidgety fidgety Phil
Fidgety fidgety fidgety Phil
Fidgety fidgety fidgety Phil
Fidgety fidgety fidgety Phil

Well I declare
He rocks backwards and forwards on his chair
Just like it was a rocking horse
Mama's getting very cross

Yeah fidgety fidgety fidgety Phil
Fidgety fidgety fidgety Phil
Fidgety fidgety fidgety Phil
Fidgety fidgety fidgety Phil

Then to make matters worse again
He grabs the tablecloth and then
Down upon the ground he falls
With knives plates forks spoons and all

Mama pulls such a face
At Philip's sad disgrace
And papa pulls such a frown
As Philip goes tumbling down

Fidgety fidgety fidgety Phil
Fidgety fidgety fidgety Phil
Fidgety fidgety fidgety Phil
Fidgety fidgety fidgety Phil

Where is Philip where is he
Oh there he is and he bleeds
There's a bloodstained tablecloth lying on him
Knives and forks they're all stuck in him

There's a knife and there's a fork
Oh Philip this is cruel work
What a terrible to-do
Philip bleeds to death and turns blue

fidgety fidgety fidgety Phil
Fidgety fidgety fidgety Phil
Fidgety fidgety fidgety Phil
Fidgety fidgety fidgety Phil

When the rain comes tumbling down
In the country and the town
All the good little girls and boys
Stay indoors and mind their toys

Robert says no when it pours
It's better out out of doors
Well rain it did and in a minute
Rob Rob was in it

Flying Robert
Flying Robert

Well see the wind how it whistles
Through the flowers and the thistles
See the silly fella
Underneath his green umbrella

Well it has caught caught that umbrella
So up he goes the silly fella
Up he goes into the skies
No one hears his screams and cries

Flying Robert
Flying Robert

See how the rude wind bore him
And it blew his hat before him
Well he's reached such a height
He is nearly out of sight

Where he where he fell
No one yet can tell
But one thing one thing is plain
He was never seen again

Flying Robert
Flying Robert …

I won't work in your factory
I won't work on your land
And I won't obey you any more than I can
Your politics disgusting
Your system makes me retch
The poor are getting poorer
The weak ones more repressed

I won't crawl up your orifice
My seed will not be spent
You can gouge my eyes out
I will not repent
Come on gouge my eyes out
I will not repent
Come on gouge my eyes out
I will not repent

To be perfectly frank with you
I won't give a toss
If they crucify a lot of you
On a burning cross

I wake up every morning
The first thing that I do
Is take my two fingers and stick it up at you

I won't crawl up your orifice
My seed will not be spent
You can gouge my eyes out
I will not repent
Come on gouge my eyes out
I will not repent
Come on gouge my eyes out
I will not repent

I will not repent, I will not repent, I will not repent

I am Sinderella
I am just a whore
I am the lowest
I scrub the floor

Scrub the floor
Scrub the floor

I am Sinderella
All services provide
One hundred sailors nightly
Bruise my insides

My insides
My insides
I'm open wide

I am Sinderella
I am just a slut
Well, over there's my boyfriend
He your throat will cut

You throat will cut
You throat will cut
You throat will cut

I am Sinderella
If I don't work hard enough
Then my boyfriend
He will beat me up

Will beat me up
Will beat me up
Will beat me up

I am Sinderella
Don't you carry cash?
Otherwise my boyfriend
Your throat he will slash

Your throat will slash
Your throat will slash
Your throat will slash

I am Sinderella
I am just a whore

When I was a little girl
My mother died
My father took himself
A new bride

My father didn't know
His new wife's ways
I was like a servant
Scrubbed the floor every day

I cried
I cried

How I missed my mother
The only one who me loved
As I upon my knees
On the floor would scrub

My stepmother would only
Give me scraps to eat
Whenever she felt like it
She used to me beat

I cried
I cried

My father couldn't see
The evil of his wife
The misery with which
She drove my life

My father was a weak man
My father he was weak
And of my evil stepmother
Not a bad word I could speak

I cried
I cried

I cried over my mother's grave
I cried every night
My tears flowed over it
Until the daylight

And if my stepmother saw
Any of this
She would laugh in my face
And she would take the piss

I cried
I cried

well, you went to your shrink in Brighton,
he said there's nothing he could do,
you went to the hospital, they hadn't a cure for you.
your mother wants you committed and your father, he does too,
and you live in an underpass, next to Waterloo.

Jesus, Jesus what are you going to do,
Jesus, Jesus how are you going to pull through?
la la la

you're having hallucinations, you're hearing voices too,
the nurses giving you lots of drugs, 'cause they're fucking good for you.
yes, turn this water into wine, you'll be popular if you do,
and you live in an underpass, next to Waterloo.

Jesus, Jesus what are you going to do,
Jesus, Jesus how are you going to pull through?
la la la

they found your body and your body had turned blue,
they found it in an underpass, next to Waterloo.

Jesus, Jesus what are you going to do,
Jesus, Jesus how are you going to pull through?

As he trudged along to school
It was always Johnny’s rule
To be looking at the sky
And the clouds that floated by

Just before him there did lay
In his in his in his way
Johnny never thought about
So that everyone cried out

Well look at Johnny Johnny there
Little Johnny Johnny Head-In-Air

Running in Johnny’s way
Came a little dog one day
Johnny’s eyes were still astray
In the sky every day

And he never heard them cry
Johnny mind the dog is nigh
Down they fell with such a thump
Johnny and dog in a lump

Once with head as high as ever
Johnny walked beside the river
Johnny watched the swallows trying
Which was the cleverest at flying

Oh what fun oh what fun
Johnny watched the bright round sun
Going in and coming out
That was all he thought about

So he strode on only think
To the river’s river’s very brink
Where the bank was high and steep
And the water water very deep

And the fishes in a row
Stared to see him coming coming so
One more step oh sad to tell
Headlong in Johnny fell

Here are the fishes in dismay
Wagged their tails and ran away
Here lay Johnny on his face
With his little red writing case

And the fishes one two three
Came back again you see
Up they came a moment after
To see Johnny in the here and after

Each popped up his little head
To tease poor Johnny who was dead
Yeah each popped up his little head
To tease poor Johnny who was dead