| Disc 1 | ||||||
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| 1. |
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I've seen them kneel
with baited breath for the ritual i've watched this experience raise them to pseudo higher levels i've watched them leave their families in pursuit of your nirvana i've seen them coming to line up from switzerland and america how long will this take baba how long have we been sleeping do you see me hanging on to every word you say how soon will I be holy how much will this cost guru how much longer 'til you completely absolve me i've seen them give their drugs up in place of makeshift altars i've heard them chanting kali kali frantically i've heard them rotely repeat your teachings with elitism i've seen them boasting robes and foreign sandalwood beads how long will this take baba how long have we been sleeping do you see me hanging on to every word you say how soon will I be holy how much will this cost guru how much longer 'til you completely absolve me i've seen them overlooking god in their own essence i've seen their upward glances in hopes of instant salvation i've seen their righteousness mixed without loving compassion i've watched you smile as the students bow to kiss your feet give me strengh all knowing one how long 'til enlightenment how much longer 'till you completely absolve me |
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| 2. |
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Wait a minute man
You mispronounced my name You didn't wait for all the information Before you turned me away Wait a minute sir You kind of hurt my feelings You see me as a sweet back-loaded puppet And you've got a meal ticket taste I see right through you I know right through you I feel right through you I walk right through you You took me for a joke You took me for a child You took a long hard look at my ass And then played golf for a while Your shake is like a fish You pat me on the head You took me out to wine dine 69 me But didn't hear a damn word I said I see right through you I know right through you I feel right through you I walk right through you Oh hello Mr. Man You didn't think I'd come back You didn't think I'd show up with my army And this ammunition on my back Now that I'm Miss Thing Now that I'm a zillionaire You scan the credits for your name And wonder why it's not there I see right through you I know right through you I feel right through you I walk right through you |
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| 3. |
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Do you derive joy when someone else succeeds?
Do you not play dirty when engaged in competition? Do you have a big intellectual capacity but know That it alone does not equate wisdom? Do you see everything as an illusion? But enjoy it even though you are not of it? Are you both masculine and feminine? politically aware? And don't believe in capital punishment? These are 21 things that I want in a lover Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer Do you derive joy from diving in and seeing that Loving someone can actually feel like freedom? are you funny? la self-deprecating? like adventure? and have many formed opinions? These are 21 things that I want in a lover Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter These are 21 things I choose to choose in a lover I'm in no hurry I could wait forever I'm in no rush cuz I like being solo There are no worries and certainly no pressure in the meantime I'll live like there's no tomorrow Are you uninhibited in bed? more than three times a week? Up for being experimental? are you athletic? Are you thriving in a job that helps your brother? are you not addicted? ...curious and communicative... |
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I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah I'm high but I'm grounded I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby And what it all comes down to Is that everything's gonna be fine, fine, fine 'Cause I've got one hand in my pocket And the other one is giving a high five I feel drunk but I'm sober I'm young and I'm underpaid I'm tired but I'm working, yeah I care but I'm restless I'm here but I'm really gone I'm wrong and I'm sorry baby And what it all comes down to Is that everything's gonna be quite alright 'Cause I've got one hand in my pocket And the other one is flicking a cigarette And what it all comes down to Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet 'Cause I've got one hand in my pocket And the other one is giving the peace sign I'm free but I'm focused I'm green but I'm wise I'm hard but I'm friendly, baby I'm sad but I'm laughing I'm brave but I'm chickenshit I'm sick but I'm pretty, baby And what it all boils down to Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet But I've got one hand in my pocket And the other one is playing the piano And what it all comes down to my friends, yeah Is that everything is just fine, fine, fine 'Cause I've got one hand in my pocket And the other one is hailing a taxi cab |
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| 5. |
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These lyrics are the same as Purgatorying. 1, 2 and 3 are the same as the whole
Purgatorying. Except in those parts they are just cut up into pieces. There are three verses and she cut them into three parts |
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| 6. |
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I had disengaged to avoid being totaled
I would run away and say good riddance soon enough I had grown disgusted by your small-minded ceiling To imagining myself bolting had not been difficult Soon be my life Soon be my pace Soon be my choice of which you'll have no part of Unprodigal Daughter and I'm heading for the west Disenchanted daughter and this plane cannot fly fast enough Unencumbered daughter hit the ground running at last! I'd invite you but I'm busy being unoppressed I hit the ground running although I know not what toward I hit the town reeling forgetting all that came before I felt primed and ready unsurrounded by the pawns I felt culture shocked, but dissuaded, I was not This is my town This is my voice This is my taste of what you've have no part of Unprodigal Daughter and I'm heading for the west Disenchanted daughter and this plane cannot fly fast enough Unencumbered daughter hit the ground running at last! I'd invite you but I'm busy being unoppressed One day I'll saddle back and speak foreign adventures One day I'll double back and tell you about these unfettered years One day I'll look back and feel something other than relieved Glad that I left when I did before no dear, you can't got the best of me When I'd speak of artistry you would roll your eyes skyward When I'd speak of spirituality you label me absurd When I spoke of impossibility you would frown and shake your head If I had stayed much longer I'd have surely imploded These are my words This is my house These are my friends of which you've had no part of Unprodigal Daughter and I'm heading for the west Disenchanted daughter and this plane cannot fly fast enough Unencumbered daughter hit the ground running at last! I'd invite you but I'm busy being unoppressed Unprodigal Daughter and I'm heading for the west Disenchanted daughter and this plane cannot fly fast enough Unencumbered daughter hit the ground running at last! I'd invite you but I'm busy being unoppressed |
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| 7. |
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What's it been over a decade?
It still smarts like it was four minutes ago We only influenced each other totally We only bruised each other even more so What are you my blood? You touch me like you are my blood What are you my dad? You affect me like you are my dad How long can a girl be shackled to you How long before my dignity is reclaimed How long can a girl stay haunted by you Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name Where've you been? I heard you moved to my city My brother saw you somewhere downtown I'd be paralyzed if I ran into you My tongue would seize up if we were to meet again What are you my god? You touch me like you are my god What are you my twin? You affect me like you are my twin How long can a girl be tortured by you? How long before my dignity is reclaimed And how long can a girl be haunted by you Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name So here I am one room away from where I know you're standing A well-intentioned man told me you just walked in This man knows not of how this information has affected me But he knows the colour of the car I just drove away in What are you my kin? You touch me like you are my kin What are you my air? You affect me like you are my air And how long can a girl be tortured by you? And how long before my dignity is reclaimed And how long can a girl be haunted by you Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name |
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| 8. |
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Do I stress you out
My sweater is on backwards and inside out And you say how appropriate I don't want to dissect everything today I don't mean to pick you apart you see But I can't help it And there I go jumping before the gunshot has gone off Slap me with a splintered ruler And it would knock me to the floor if I wasn't there already If only I could hunt the hunter And all I really want is some patience A way to calm the angry voice And all I really want is deliverance Do I wear you out You must wonder why I'm relentless and all strung out I'm consumed by the chill of solitary I'm like Estella I like to reel it in and then spit it out I'm frustrated by your apathy And I am frightened by the corrupted ways of this land If only I could meet the Maker And I am fascinated by the spiritual man I'm humbled by his humble nature And what I wouldn't give to find a soul-mate Someone else to catch this drift And what I wouldn't give to meet a kindred Enough about me, let's talk about you for a minute Enough about you, let's talk about life for a while The conflicts, the craziness and the sound of pretenses Falling all around...all around Why are you so petrified of silence Here can you handle this? Did you think about your bills, your ex, your deadlines Or when you think you're gonna die Or did you long for the next distraction And all I need now is intellectual intercourse A soul to dig the hole much deeper And I have no concept of time other than it is flying If only I could kill the killer And all I really want is some peace man A place to find a common ground And all I really want is a wavelength And all I really want is some comfort A way to get my hands untied And all I really want is some justice... |
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| 9. |
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You'll rescue me right?
In the exact same way they never did. I'll be happy right? When your healing powers kick in You'll complete me right? Then my life can finally begin I'll be worthy right? Only when you realize the gem I am? But this won't work now the way it once did And I won't keep it up even though I would love to Once I know who I'm not then I'll know who I am But I know I won't keep on playing the victim These precious illusions in my head Did not let me down when I was defenseless And parting with them is like parting with invisible best friends This ring will help me yet As will you knight in shining armor This pill will help me yet As will these boys gone through like water But this won't work as well as the way it once did 'Cause I want to decide between survival and bliss And though I know who I'm not I still don't know who I am But I know I won't keep on playing the victim These precious illusions in my head Did not let me down when I was a kid And parting with them is like parting with a childhood best friend I've spent so long firmly looking outside me I've spent so much time living in survival mode But this won't work now the way it once did 'Cause I want to decide between survival and bliss And though I know who I'm not I still don't know who I am But I know I won't keep on playing the victim These precious illusions in my head Did not let me down when I was defenseless And parting with them is like parting with invisible best friends These precious illusions in my head Did not let me down when I was a kid And parting with them is like parting with a childhood best friend |
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| 10. |
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I was afraid you'd hit me if I spoken up I was
afraid of your physical strength I was afraid you'd hit below the belt I was afraid of your sucker punch I was afraid of your reducing me I was afraid of your alcohol breath I was afraid of your complete disregard for me I was afraid of your temper I was afraid of handles being flown off I was afraid of holes being punched into walls I was afraid of your testosterone I have as much rage as you have I have as much pain as you do i've lived as much hell as you have and i've kept mine bubbling under for you you were my best friend you were my lover you were my mentor you were my brother you were my partner you were my teacher you were my very own sympathetic character i was afraid of verbal daggers I was afraid of the calm before the storm I was afraid for my own bones I was afraid of your seduction I was afraid of your coersion I was afraid of your rejection I was afraid of your intimidation I was afraid of your punishment I was afraid of your icy silences I was afraid of your volume I was afraid of your manipulation I was afraid of your explosions I have as much rage as you have I have as much pain as you do i've lived as much hell as you have and i've kept mine bubbling under for you chorus chorus you were my keeper you were my anchor you were my family you were my saviour and therein lay the issue and therein lay the problem |
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Start every week with a break neck urgent design
And end every speed day with my briefcase representing free time Spending my fruit as my purchases become my lifeline Please give my love to my family I'll doubtfully be home at Christmas time don't disturb me in this state please leave me purgatorying I'll be damned if I'm to wake This is far more than I am equipped for |
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Oh these little rejections
How they add up quickly One small sideways look And I feel so ungood Somewhere along the way I think I gave you the power to make Me feel the way I thought Only my father could Oh these little rejections How they seem so real to me One forgotten birthday I'm all but cooked How these little abandonments Seem to sting so easily I'm 13 again Am I 13 for good? I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful So unloved for someone so fine I can feel so boring for someone so interesting So ignorant for someone of sound mind Oh these little protections How they fail to serve me One forgotten phone call And I'm deflated Oh these little defenses How they fail to comfort me Your hand pulling away And I'm devastated I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful So unloved and for someone so fine I can feel so boring for someone so interesting So ignorant for someone of sound mind When will I stop leaving baby? When will I stop deserting baby? When will I start staying with myself? Oh these little projections How they keep springing from me I jump my ship as I take it personally Oh these little rejections How they disappear quickly The moment I decide not to abandon me I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful So unloved and for someone so fine I can feel so boring for someone so interesting So ignorant for someone of sound mind I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful So unloved and for someone so fine I can feel so boring for someone so interesting So ignorant for someone of sound mind |
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I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again I thought about it You treat me like I'm a princess I'm not used to liking that You ask how my day was You've already won me over in spite of me Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are I couldn't help it It's all your fault Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole You're so much braver than I gave you credit for That's not lip service You've already won me over in spite of me And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet And don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are I couldn't help it It's all your fault You are the bearer of unconditional things You held your breath and the door for me Thanks for your patience You're the best listener that I've ever met You're my best friend Best friend with benefits What took me so long? I've never felt this healthy before I've never wanted something rational I am aware now I am aware now You've already won me over in spite of me Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet And don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are I couldn't help it It's all your fault You've already won me over in spite of me And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet And don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are I couldn't help it It's all your fault |
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I've held you up like a deity
like you're the sole owner of wings this unrequited tunnel vision and I wonder why I've not been writing don't disturb me in this state please keep me purgatorying I'll be damned if I'm to wake this is far more than - than I have bargained for I'll be damned if I'm to wake this is far more than I'm equipped for |
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I want you to know
That I'm happy for you I wish nothing but the best for you both An older version of me? Is she perverted like me? Would she go down on you in a theater? Does she speak eloquently? And would she have your baby? I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother 'Cause the love that you gave That we made Wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no And every time you speak her name Does she know how you told me you'd hold me until you died 'Til you died But you're still alive And I'm here To remind you Of the mess you left when you went away It's not fair To deny me Of the cross I bear - that you gave to me You, you, you oughta know You seem very well Things look peaceful I'm not quite as well I thought you should know Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity? I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner It was a slap in the face How quickly I was replaced And are you thinking of me when you fuck her? 'Cause the love that you gave That we made Wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no And every time you speak her name Does she know how you told me you'd hold me until you died 'Til you died But you're still alive And I'm here To remind you Of the mess you left when you went away It's not fair To deny me Of the cross I bear - that you gave to me You, you, you oughta know 'Cause the joke that you laid in the bed that was me And I'm not gonna fade as soon as you close your eyes And you know it And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back I hope you feel it Oh, can you feel it? Well, I'm here To remind you Of the mess you left when you went away It's not fair To deny me Of the cross I bear - that you gave to me You, you, you oughta know why I'm here: To remind you Of the mess you left when you went away It's not fair To deny me Of the cross I bear - that you gave to me You, you, you oughta know |
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If it weren't for your maturity
None of this would have happened If you weren't so wise beyond your years I would've been able to control myself If it weren't for my attention You wouldn't have been successful, and If it weren't for me You would never have amounted to very much Ooh this could be messy, but You don't seem to mind Ooh don't go telling everybody, and Overlook this supposed crime We'll fast-forward to a few years later No one knows except the both of us And I have honored your request for silence And you've washed your hands clean of this You're essentially an employee And I like you having to depend on me You're a kind of protégé And one day you'll say you learned all you know from me, and I know you depend on me Like a young thing would to a guardian I know how you sexualize me Like a young thing would and I think I like it Ooh this could get messy, but Ooh, you don't seem to mind Ooh, don't go telling everybody And overlook this supposed crime We'll fast-forward to a few years later No one knows except the both of us I've more than honored your request for silence And you've washed your hands clean of this What part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept? What part of your memory is selective and tends to forget? What with this distance it seems so obvious? Just make sure you don't tell on me Especially to members of your family We best keep this to ourselves And not tell any members of our inner posse I wish I could tell the world 'Cause you're such a pretty thing when you're done-up properly I might want to marry you one day If you'd watch that weight and keep your firm body Ooh this could be messy Ooh I don't seem to mind Ooh don't go telling everybody And overlook this supposed crime We'll fast-forward to a few years later No one knows except the both of us And I have honored your request for silence And you've washed your hands clean of this |
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Like anyone would be
I am flattered by your fascination with me Like any hot blooded woman I have simply wanted an object to crave But you, you're not allowed You're uninvited An unfortunate slight Must be strangely exciting To watch the stoic squirm Must be somewhat heartening To watch shepherd need shepherd But you, you're not allowed You're uninvited An unfortunate slight Like any uncharted territory I must seem greatly intriguing You speak of my love like You have experienced love like mine before But this is not allowed You're uninvited An unfortunate slight I don't think you unworthy I need a moment to deliberate |
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| 18. |
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An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day It's a black fly in your Chardonnay It's a death row pardon two minutes too late Isn't it ironic, don't you think? It's like rain on your wedding day It's a free ride when you've already paid It's the good advice that you just didn't take And who would've thought it, it figures Mr. Play-It-Safe was afraid to fly He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye He waited his whole damn life to take that flight And as the plane crashed down he thought "Well isn't this nice" And isn't it ironic, don't you think? It's like rain on your wedding day It's a free ride when you've already paid It's the good advice that you just didn't take And who would've thought it, it figures Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you When you think everything's okay and everything's going right And life has a funny way of helping you out when You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up in your face A traffic jam when you're already late A "No Smoking" sign on your cigarette break It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife It's meeting the man of my dreams, and then meeting his beautiful wife And isn't it ironic, don't you think? A little too ironic, and yeah I really do think It's like rain on your wedding day It's a free ride when you've already paid It's the good advice that you just didn't take And who would've thought it, it figures Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out Helping you out |
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I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone
I recommend walking around naked in your living room, yeah Swallow it down (what a jagged little pill) It feels so good (swimming in your stomach) Wait until the dust settles You live, you learn You love, you learn You cry, you learn You lose, you learn You bleed, you learn You scream, you learn I recommend biting off more that you can chew to anyone I certainly do I recommend sticking your foot in your mouth at any time Feel free Throw it down (the caution blocks you from the wind) Hold it up (to the rays) You wait and see when the smoke clears You live, you learn You love, you learn You cry, you learn You lose, you learn You bleed, you learn You scream, you learn Wear it out (the way a three-year-old would do) Melt it down (you're gonna have to eventually anyway) The fire trucks are coming up around the bend You live, you learn You love, you learn You cry, you learn You lose, you learn You bleed, you learn You scream, you learn You grieve, you learn You choke, you learn You laugh, you learn You choose, you learn You pray, you learn You ask, you learn You live, you learn |
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My foundation was rocked
My try and true way to deal was to vanish My departures were old I stood in the room shaking in my boots At that particular time Love had challenged me to stay At that particular moment I knew not to run away again That particular month I was ready to investigate with you At that particular time We thought a break would be good For four months we sat and vacillated We thought a small time apart Would clear up the doubts that were abounding At that particular time Love encouraged me to wait At that particular moment It helped me to be patient That particular month We needed time to marinate in what "us" meant At that particular time I've always wanted for you What you've wanted for yourself And yet I wanted to save us high water or hell And I kept on ignoring the ambivalence you felt And in the meantime I lost myself In the meantime I lost myself I'm sorry I lost myself, I am You knew you needed more time Time spent alone with no distraction You felt you needed to fly Solo and high to define what you wanted At that particular time Love encouraged me to leave At that particular moment I knew staying with you meant deserting me That particular month Was harder than you'd believe but I still left At that particular time |
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How 'bout getting off of these antibiotics?
How 'bout stopping eating when I'm full up How 'bout them *transparent dangling carrots How 'bout that ever elusive kudos Thank you India Thank you terror Thank you disillusionment Thank you frailty Thank you consequence Thank you thank you silence How 'bout me not blaming you for everything How 'bout me enjoying the moment for once How 'bout how good it feels to finally forgive you How 'bout grieving it all one at a time The moment I let go of it was The moment I got more than I could handle The moment I jumped off of it was The moment I touched down How 'bout no longer being masochistic How 'bout remembering your divinity How 'bout unabashedly bawling your eyes out How 'bout not equating death with stopping Thank you India Thank you Providence Thank you disillusionment Thank you nothingness Thank you clarity Thank you thank you silence |
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