Disc 1 | ||||||
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1. |
| 8:42 | ||||
Your picture is far too big to look at kid.
Your eyes won't open wide enough and you are constantly surrounded by the swirling stream of what is and what was. Well, we've all made out predictions but the truth still isn't out. So if you want to see the future, go stare into a cloud. And keep trying to find your way out of that maze of memories. It all sort of looks familiar until you get up close and it's different, clearly. But each time you turn a corner, you're right back where you were and your only hope is that forgetting might make a door appear. Is it your fear of being buried that makes you so afraid to speak? An avalanche of opinions like the one that fell that I am now underneath. It was my voice that moved the first rock and I would do it all again. So I mean, it's cool if you keep quiet but I like singing. So I'll be holding my note and stomping and strumming and feeling so very lucky. There is nothing I know except that this lifetime is one moment and wishing will just leave me empty. So you can try and live in darkness but you will never shake the light. It will greet you every morning and it will make you more aware with its absence at night, when you're wrapped up in your blanket, babe, that comfortable cocoon. But I have seen the day of your awakening boy and it's coming soon. So go ahead and lose yourself in liquor and you can praise the clouded mind but it isn't what you're thinking no, it's the course of history your position in line. You're just a piece of the puzzle so I think you'd better find your place. And don't go blaming you knowledge on some fruit you ate. Because there's been a great deal of discussion, yes, about the properties of man. Animal or Angel? You were carved from bone but your heart, is just sand. And the wind is gonna scatter it and cover everything with love. So if it makes you happy, then keep kneeling, Mom, but I'm standing up. Because this veil is has been lifted. Yes, My eyes are wet with clarity. I have been a witness to such wonders. Oh I've searched for them across the country but I think I'll be returning now to the town where I was born. And I understand you must keep moving, friend, but I'm headed home. I'm gonna follow the road and let the scenery weeping by easily enter my body. I'll send you all this message in code, under ground, over mountains, through forests and deserts and cities. All across electric wire, it's a baited line. The hook is in deep, boys, there is no more time. So you can struggle in the water and be too stubborn to die or you could just let go and be lifted to the sky. |
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2. |
| 3:42 | ||||
there is no beginning to the story
a bookshelf sinks into the sand & a language learned & forgot, in turn, is studied once again it's a shocking bit of footage viewed from a shitty TV screen you can squint at it through snowy static to make out the meaning just keep stretching the antennae, hoping that it will come clear we need some reception, a higher message, just tell us what to fear because i don't know what tommorow brings it is alive with such possibilities all i know is i feel better when i sing burdens are lifted from me, that is my voice rising! so michael, please keep the tape rolling boys, keep strumming those guitars we need a record of our failures we must document our love i have sat too long in my silence i have grown too old in my pain to shed this skin, be born again, it starts with the ending so thank you friends for the time we shared my love stays with you like sunlight & air oh, how i truly wish i could keep hanging around here but my joy is covering me soon, i will disappear it's not a movie, no private screening this method acting, well, i call that living it's like a fountain, a door has opened we have a problem with no solution but to love & to be loved so, i've made peace with the falling leaves i see their same fate in my own body but i won't be frightened when i am awoken from this dream & returned to that which gave birth to me & the story goes on & on & on & on... |
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3. |
| 5:52 | ||||
On a string
On a string on a string I was held The way I moved, can you tell My actions are orchestrated from above And so I swing and I sway Wave my hand, kick my leg And it's always right with the music (katie and tiffany: till all that swaying starts to make you sick) For a song, I was bought Now I lie, when I talk With a careful eye on the cue card Onto a stage, I was pushed With my sorrow well rehearsed So give me all your pity and your money now All of it (katie and tiffany: we used to think that sound was something pure) But if I could act like this was my real life And not some cage where I've been placed Well then I could tell you The truth like I used to And not be afraid of sounding fake Now all that anyone's listening for are the mistakes (katie: sorry!) No it's ok, it's ok One, two, three! One, two, three! In a house by myself I hear the ice start to melt And I watch the rooftops weep for the sunlight And I know what must change Fuck my face, fuck my name They are brief and false advertisements For a soul, I don't have Something true I have lacked I spent my whole life trying to make up for it But I found, in a song And in the people I love They will lift me up out of darkness And now my door It stands open, I'm inviting everyone in We're gonna laugh, we're gonna drink Until the morning comes That's what we're gonna do! Come on! Come on! |
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4. |
| 3:25 | ||||
Well, you say that I treat you like a book on a shelf
I don't take you out that often 'Cause I know that I completed you And that's why you are here That's the reason you stay here How awful that must feel You said you'd be my dream I could have you every night And if by morning I'd forgotten you Well, no big deal, that'd be all right 'Cause you're the re-occuring kind You are the re-occuring kind You never really leave my mind Are you the love of my lifetime 'Cause there's been times I've had my doubts We were just kids when I first kissed you In the attic of my parents' house And I wish we were there now I took so long to figure out What this book has been about Now I write when I'm away Letters that you'll never read You said go explore those other women The geography of their bodies But there's just one map you'll need You're a boomerang you'll see You will return to me You will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. (etc.) Because if you don't then this book's all lies If you don't then my plans would all be ruined If you don't, I'll start drinking like the way I drank before And I just won't have a future anymore |
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5. |
| 4:00 | ||||
I picked you out
Of a crowd and talked to you. Said I liked your shoes, You said, "Thanks, Can I follow you?" So it's up the stairs, And out of view. No prying eyes. I poured some wine. I asked your name; You asked the time. Now it's two o'clock. The club is closed, We are up the block. Your hands are on me, Pressing hard against your jeans, Your tongue in my mouth, Trying to keep the words from coming out, You didn't care to know Who else may have been you before. I want a lover I don't have to love, I want a girl who's too sad to give a fuck. Where's the kid with the chemicals? I thought he said to meet him here, But I'm not sure. I've got the money If you've got the time. He said, "It feels good." I said "I'll give it a try." Then my mind went dark, We both forgot where your car was parked. Let's just take the train. I'll meet up with the band in the morning Bad actors, with bad habits... Some sad singers, they just play tragic. And the phone is ringing, And the van is leaving Let's just keep touching, Let's just keep...keep singing I want a lover I don't have to love, I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk. Where's the kid with the chemicals? I got a hunger and I can't seem to get full. I need some meaning I can memorize. The kind I have always seems to slip my mind. But you, but you... You write such pretty words, But life's no storybook. Love's an excuse to get hurt. And to hurt. Do you like to hurt? I do, I do. Then hurt me, Then hurt me, Then hurt me... |
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6. |
| 4:49 | ||||
The rain it started tappin'
On the window near my bed There was a loophole in my dreamin' So I got out of it And to my surprise my eyes were wide and already open Just my nightstand and my dresser Where those nightmares had just been So I dressed myself and left then Out into the gray streets But everything seemed different And completely new to me The sky the trees, houses, buildings, even my own body And each person I encountered I couldn't wait to meet And I came upon a doctor Who appeared in quite poor health I said there's nothing that I can do for you you can't do for yourself He said oh yes you can, just hold my hand, I think that that would help So I sat with him awhile Then I asked him how he felt He said I think I'm cured No, in fact, I'm sure of it Thank you, stranger For your therapeutic smile So that's how I learned the lesson That everyone's alone And your eyes must do some raining If you're ever gonna grow And when crying don't help You can't compose yourself It's best to compose a poem An honest verse of longing Or a simple song of hope That's why I'm singing baby don't worry 'Cause now I got your back And every time you feel like crying I'm gonna try and make you laugh And if I can't If it just hurts too bad Then we'll wait for it to pass And I will keep you company for those days so long and black And we'll keep working on the problem We know we'll never solve Of love's uneven remainders Our lives are fractions of a whole But if the world could remain within a frame Like a painting on a wall Then I think we'd see the beauty then We'd stand staring in awe At our still lives posed Like a bowl of oranges Like a story told By the fault-lines and the soil |
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7. |
| 6:32 | ||||
Is it true what I heard about the Son of God
Did he come to save, did he come at all And if I dried his feet With my dirty hair Would he make me clean again They say they don't know when but a day is gonna come When there won't be a moon and there won't be a sun It will just go black It will just go back To the way it was before I knew a lovely girl with such pretty pride And every man wanted her and so did I And so did I But she up and died In a fit of vanity Now men with purple hearts carry silver guns And they will kill a man for what his father has done But what my father did You know it don't mean shit I'm not him So you think I need some discipline well I've had my share I have been sent to my room, I've been sat in a chair And I held my tongue I didn't plug my ears No I got a good talking to Now I don’t know why but I still try to smile When they talk at me like I’m just a child Well I’m not a child No I am Much younger than that And now I have read some books and I have grown quite brave If I could just speak up I think I would say That there is no truth There is only you And what you make the truth So I will just sing my songs and I'll pass a hat Then I'll leave your town and I'll never look back No I don't look back Because the road is clear Layed out ahead of me I'll get home and meet my friends at our favorite bar We'll get some lighter heads for our heavy hearts And we will share a drink Yeah we'll share our fears And they will know how I love them They will know how I love They will know how I love them I am nothing without their love Now I don't know when but a day is gonna come When there won't be a moon and there won't be a sun It will all go black It will all go back To the way it is supposed to be Is it true what they say about the Son of God Did he die for us, did he die at all And if I sold my soul For a bag of gold To you which one of us would be the foolish one Which one if us would be the fool Which one if us would be the fool Which one if us would be the fool Could you please start explaining You know I need some understanding I could do with some exaplaining You know I want to understand |
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8. |
| 4:35 | ||||
Well the future's got me worried
Such awful thoughts My head's a carousel of pictures The spinning never stops I just want someone to walk in front And I'll follow the leader Like when I fell under the weight of a schoolboy crush Started carrying her books and doing lots of drugs I almost forgot who I was But I came to my senses Now I'm trying to be assertive I'm making plans Gonna rise to the occasion yeah Meet all their demands But all I do is just lay in bed And hide under the covers Yeah I know I should be brave But i'm just too afraid of all this change And it's too hard to focus through all this doubt I keep making these to-do lists but nothing gets crossed out Working on the record seems pointless now When the world ends who's gonna hear it? But I'm trying to take some comfort in written words Yeah, Tim, I heard your album and it's better than good When we get off tour I think we should Hang and black out together 'Cause I been feeling sentimental for days gone by All the summers singing, drinking, laughin Wasting our time Remember all the songs and the way we smiled In those basements made of music But now I've got to crawl to get anywhere at all I'm not as strong as I thought So when I'm lost in a crowd I hope that you'll pick me out How I long to be found The grass grew high, I laid down Now I'm waiting for a hand To lift me up, help me stand I've been laying so low Don't wanna lay here no more Don't wanna lay here no more Everything that happens is supposed to be And it's all predetermined can't change your destiny Guess I'll just keep moving Someday maybe I'll get to where I'm going |
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9. |
| 6:17 | ||||
Our love is dead but without limit
Like the surface of the moon Or the land between here and the mountains It is not these hiding places that have kept us innocent But the way you taught me to just let it all go back So we've learn to be as faithless Stand behind bulletproof glass Exchanging our affections through a drawer And It was always horribly convenient and happening too fast You should count your change before you're even out the door Well, yes you should, but please return, return To the person that you were, and I will do the same 'Cause it's too hard to belong to someone who is gone My compass spins, but wilderness remains Once too often I've retreated into the depths of my despair I built a barricade to block you on the road But standing there with all of my possessions piled higher than a house I felt closer to you than you ever would have known So let's let these tiny acts of charity becommon ground on which to build A monument to commemorate our time And though you say you've found another who will surely speed you on your way Don't let the forest grow over that path you came there by But you will, so, so hurry up and run to the one that you love And blind him with your kindness And he'll make war, oh, war, on who you were before And claim all that has spoiled in your heart (alright, now help me out boys) But now I tell myself I've mended under these patches of blue sky There's still a few holes that let in a little rain And so it's crying on my shingles My floorboards moan under my feet The refrigerator's whining so I've got reason to complain But I'm not gonna bless you with such compliments Some degrading song of praise Like the kind that converted you to me so long ago Because the truth is that gossip's as good as gospel in this town You can save face but you won't ever save your soul And that's a fact so, so hurry up and run to the one that you love And tie him up in your likeness And he'll become, become, oh, the prisoner I was And know all that has spoiled in your heart He'll know it all He'll know all that has spoiled in your heart So hurry up and run to the one that you love And blind him with your kindness And he'll make war, oh, war, on who you were before And claim all that has spoiled in your heart Yeah, And claim all that has spoiled in your heart (So hurry up and run to the one that you love And blind him with your kindness And he'll make war, oh, war, on who you were before And claim all that has spoiled in your heart Yeah, And claim all that has spoiled) |
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10. |
| 6:30 | ||||
I have a friend, he’s mostly made of pain
He wakes up, drives to work and straight back home again He once cut one of my nightmares out of paper I thought it was beautiful, I put it on a record cover And I tried to tell him that he had a sense Of color and composition so magnificent And he said thank you, please, but your flattery It is truly not becoming me Your eyes are poor, you’re blind, you see No beauty ever could have come from me I’m a waste Of breath, of space, of time I knew a woman she was dignified and true Her love for her man was one of her many virtues Until one day she found out that he had lied And decided the rest of her life from that point on would be a lie She was grateful for everything that had happened And she was anxious for all that would come next But then she wept, what did you expect In that big old house with the car she kept Such is life, she often said With one day leading to the next You get a little closer to your death Which was fine with her, she never got upset And with all the days she may have left She would never clean another mess Or fold his shirts, or look her best She was free To waste away alone Last night my brother, he got drunk and drove And this cop, he pulled him off to the side of the road And he said officer, officer, you’ve got the wrong man No, no, I’m a student of medicine, a son of a banker, you don’t understand The cop said No one got hurt, you should be thankful And your carelessness, it is something awful And no I can’t just let you go And though your father’s name is known Your decisions now are yours alone You’re nothing but a stepping stone on a path To debt, to loss, to shame The last few months I’ve been living with this couple Yeah, you know the kind who buy everything in doubles Yeah, they fit together like a puzzle I love their love and I am thankful That someone actually receives the prize that was promised By all those fairy tales that drugged us they still do me. I’m sick, lonely No laurel tree, just green envy Will my number come up eventually Like love’s some kind of lottery Where you scratch and see what’s underneath It’s sorry Just one cherry I’ll play again, get lucky So now I hang out down by the train's depot No, I don’t ride, I just sit and watch the people there They remind me of wind-up cars in motion They way they spin and turn and jockey for positions And I wanna scream out that it all is nonsense Their life’s one track and can’t they see it’s pointless? But just then my knees give under me My head feels weak and suddenly It’s clear to see, it’s not them, but me Who’s lost my self-identity And I hide behind these books I read While scribbling my poetry Like art could save a wretch like me With some ideal ideology That no one could hope to achieve And I'm never real, it's just a sketch of me And everything I’ve made is trite and cheap and a waste Of paint Of tape Of time So I park my car down by the cathedral Where the floodlights point up at the steeples Choir practice is filling up with people I hear the sound escaping as an echo Sloping off the ceiling at an angle When the voices blend they sound like angels I hope there’s some room still in the middle But when lift my voice up now to reach them The range is too high way up in heaven So I hold my tongue, forget the song Tie my shoes, start walking off And try to just keep moving on With my broken heart and my absent god And I have no faith but it’s all I want To be loved And believe In my soul, in my soul |
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11. |
| 3:40 | ||||
There's a man holding a megaphone
he must have been the voice of God The bystanders claimed they saw angels flying up and down the block They must have been attached to wires I seen one laying in the lawn with a broken arm so I called 911 Well that's one less founded opinion One more cause for a dispute So the street filled like a basin up with cameras and their crews and they washed away the rumors leaving just the concrete truth It was a spectacle No, I mean a miracle And so I fell like that girl from a balance beam A gymnasium of eyes all were holding on to me I lifted one foot to cross the other and I felt myself slipping It was a small mistake Sometime's that's all it takes Now I'm staring at my wrist, hoping that the time is right When the planets will align There will be no planets to align Just the carcass of the sun and those little painted marbles spinning senseless through an endless black sky (and so it never started and it will never stop just like I am and you are) It was in a foreign hotel's bathtub I baptized myself and changed And one by one I drowned all of the people I had been. And I emerged to find the parallels were fewer I was cleansed I looked in the mirror and someone new was there but I was as helpless as a chess piece when I was lifted up by someone's hand And delivered from the corner my enemies had got me in But in all of my salvation I still felt imprisoned'Inside that holding cell That is myself So I wait for the day when I hear the key as it turns in the lock and the guard will say to me: "Oh my patient prisoner you have waited for this day and finally.... You are free! You are free! You are free!" Now I'm staring at the sun waiting for it to explode Because a day is gonna come, don't know when but it will come And we'll finally know the way out of here. And I will throw away this wrinkled map and my chart of stars and compass, cracked And I'll climb that tree all wet with sap, to avoid the hungry beasts below I'll cut out my lover's tongue and sing of a graveyard gray and a garden green and we won't have to worry no more No, we won't have to wonder again about how this song or story ends, about how this song and story will end |
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12. |
| 4:57 | ||||
Laura are you still living there
on your estate of sorrow? you used to leave it occasionally but now you don't even bother to ride the commuter train west to Chicago, to stroll through the greenery in the park past the statues how their eyes seemed to follow you like a hated addiction their beauty carved out of absolutes you could never claim or even envision Laura you were the saddest song in the shape of a woman yeah I thought you were beautiful but I wept with your movements but I hope that you're laughing now from that place on the carpet where we shared a sleeping bag in your sister's apartment oh how she would worry so you know I was just a stranger but she asked me to care for you yes she did and I went and betrayed her but do you know we're in high demand Laura, us, people who suffer because we don't take to arguing and we're quick to surrender well I think I would call tonight if I still had your number your thoughts have always laid close to mine we were both skipping supper but you should never be embarrassed by your trouble with living cause it's the ones with the sorest throats, Laura, who have done the most singing La la la la la la. la la la lah... |
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13. |
| 10:08 | ||||