| Disc 1 | ||||||
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| 1. |
| 2:40 | 
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She works all day at the Burger King
Getting greasy for the dollars Promoted to fries but theres tears in her eyes Its not the grease or the pickles that upset her California, Hotel California California, Hotel California California, Hotel California You can't stab the beast A look of disgust on her pimple marked face No amount of mayonnaise can cover She frowns at the kill, char boiling on the grill Singing "death for no reason, death for no reason" It's murder... California, Hotel California California, Hotel California California, Hotel California She can't stand the heat She stabs it with her stealy knife but she just can't kill the beast California, Hotel California California, Hotel California |
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| 2. |
| 2:38 |
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Girl sometimes you're hungry,
You want something to eat You don't want no little salad yes you want a lot of meat You don't want no pastrami, And no corned beef on rye Girl there's only one kind of sandwich that's really gonna satisfy chorus: Love sandwich Love sandwich, uh huh Love sandwich Love sandwich, uh huh This ain't the kind of snack That you get from your mommy Your mommy ain't never seen such a whole lot of salami Girl I'm gonna take you on a superfantastic trip 'cause, baby you haven't had nothing til you've had my miracle whip (chorus) Yeah you, and me, and Steve makes three And Dave has got the video, Dave has got the video Yeah you, and me, and Steve makes three And Dave has got the video, Dave has got the Yeah you, and Steve, and Bernie makes three And Fernando and Mr. Belvedere in the hot tub, yeah! Girl sometimes you're hungry, You want something to eat You don't want no little salad yes you want a lot of meat Let me tell you 'bout The funky love sandwich Me and Steve are the bread And you're the meat, bitch! (chorus) Love sandwich, uh huh uh huh uh huh (4x) |
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| 3. |
| 2:36 |
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Don't bother going to class
'cause nobody cares if you cut. And it's not smart to experiment With Ben Gay on your nuts. If you ask her out and she says maybe What she really means is no way. And if you try to jerking off behind the back stop The team will be playin' that day. Oh YeAh! Chorus ----> These are the things I wish I knew... These are the things I wish I knew... in high school yeaaaah These are the thingggs I wish I knew in high school Don't call the head jock a fag Even if it's true, And don't hold out for that one special girl 'cause she'll never have sex with you. No Way! Chorus *guitar solo type thing* Don't let 'em see you cryin No matter how it hurts And nobody ever got laid 'cause they were wearing a Rush t-shirt Chorus |
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| 4. |
| 2:22 |
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I know girls like you
Need someone to screw-up their life And make you contemplate suicide, When you need a friend to Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah Call on me... yeah You need someone bad, To irritate your dad, Someone who'll make you cry, And sock you in the eye, When you need a friend to Bring you to your knees, Call on me... yeah Am I crazy enough? Am I angry enough? Am I stupid enough? Am I lazy enough? Am I drunk enough? Do I flunk enough? Am I jealous enough? Am I selfish enough to be... Your bridge under troubled water, yeah! You like pain, you're insane You can key my car, And punch my face in the bar When you blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah Call me... oh yeah Am I crazy enough? Am I angry enough? Am I stupid enough? Am I lazy enough? Am I drunk enough? Do I flunk enough? Am I jealous enough? Am I selfish enough to be... Your bridge under troubled water, yeah! Am I boring enough? Am I snoring enough? Am I demanding enough? Un-outstanding enough? Am I fat enough? Mad enough? Am I bad enough? Wear plaid enough? Am I drunk enough? Smell like a skunk enough? Do I wank enough? Do crank enough to be... Your bridge under trouble Your bridge under trouble Your bridge under troubled water! |
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| 5. |
| 3:23 |
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There's a place on Figueroa Street,
Where you can always go Smiling faces you might meet, Whoa-oa-oa, All Hail, The Sportsman Bar Whoa-oa-oa, All Hail, The Sportsman Bar The trophies on the mantel Are covered with dust, And the pretzels are from 1982 The soda from the bar Tastes just like rust, Nobody cares! All Hail The Sportsman Bar Whoa-oa-oa, All Hail, The Sportsman Bar There's Mike Green, He's fallen to his knees, He's mumbling 'bout the State Street rock and roll They took away the booths, But unless they take the roof We will see you again here tomorrow! Say a prayer for friends Who passed away, Say a prayer for the lurkers And the losers And to all you bastards That moved out of town, We'll see you at Thanksgiving At the Sportsman Bar Whoa-oa-oa, All Hail, The Sportsman Bar Ned's our man, With his Pabst Blue Ribbon can, Uh-oh, he's looking for a fight! He'll punch you in the face, But it's your kind of place So we'll see you again here tomorrow! Everybody's drunk! Everybody's drunk! Whoa-oa-oa, All Hail, The Sportsman Bar |
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| 6. |
| 1:38 | 
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| 7. |
| 2:29 |
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They put you down and call you crazy
Say "You're disgusting and uncool!" Just because you like to touch yourself Out by the public swimming pool You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate! You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate! You used to do it in the park But the powers that be didn't like it THey called you "pervert" and "criminal" Now you have to use a blanket You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate! You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate! You've got to fight! Pass the acorn butter! 7-11 two for a dollar! They say that you'll go blind And your ruining your health But how can anybody love anyone in this crazy world If you can't love yourself? You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate! You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate! You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate! You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate! You've gotta fight! Awww... |
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| 8. |
| 0:46 |
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I wanna take you out for ice cream
I wanna take you out for ice cream I wanna take you out for ice cream And show you a real good time I wanna take you to the baseball game I wanna take you to the baseball game Buy you peanuts and crackerjacks And show you a real good time No I wont break into your apartment Hit you on the head with a chair Pull down my pants, take a dump on your rug And wave my dick in the air, NO!! I wanna take you out for ice cream I wanna take you out for ice cream I wanna take you out for ice cream And show you a real good time |
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| 9. |
| 2:45 |
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I know a girl, Nikki Webster
The cutest in the world, Nikki Webster Strawberry curls, Nikki Webster Yeah you're the tops of pops Nikki Webster So far away, across the sea Down in Australia, that's where she be At the movies, at the show Eating Hungry Jacks, on the radio She likes to ride her horse, Nikki Webster Swimming's her favorite sport, Nikki Webster She's only 3 foot 4, Nikki Webster What can I do? I love you! Nikki Webster Can I take you home? Lock you in a cage? Poke you with a stick, and feed you mayonnaise? Won't you jump around like a monkey in a zoo If I dress up like a clown, is it allright with you? Is it allright with you? We love you Nikki Webster! |
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| 10. |
| 1:54 |
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