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We're only making plans for Nigel
We only want what's best for him
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel just needs this helping hand
And if young Nigel says he's happy
He must be happy
He must be happy in his work
We're only making plans for Nigel
He has his future in a British steel
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel's whole future is as good as sealed
And if young Nigel says he's happy
He must be happy
He must be happy in his work
Nigel is not outspoke n
But he likes to speak
And loves to be spoken to
Nigel is happy in his work
We're only making plans for Nigel

I'm enlisting, overseas aid
need assisting, help with a maid
get the expert, on mademoiselles
he could diffuse, any bombshell
If I could only be tough like him
then I could win
my own, small, battle of the sexes
Sgt. Rock is going to help me
make the girl mine
keep her stood in line
Sgt. Rock is going to help me
make the girl mine
keep her stood in line
make the girl mine, wave the victory sign
I'm invading, territories
Girls are foreign, and strange to me
get the expert, at kissing and stuff
he stays easy, when things get rough
Sometimes relationships don't go as planned
some girls, can make themselves so cold
a no-mans land.

There's a message up in China
That they getting in Japan
Bouncing off an ocean liner
Make em shake em in Siam
All the kids are complaining
That there's nowhere to go
All the kids are complaining
That the songs are too slow
All I'm saying is you're deaf
To the fact that there's ...
Radios in motion
Atmosphere to ocean
Radios in motion
Gets you out of your red white and blues
When we move then so do you'se
There's a message in Milwaukee
That they're getting in Moscow
Everybody walkie talkie
Everybody learning how
All the kids are complaining (etc

It's the airwaves of the world
Not the hairwaves on your head
Oh but anything can be
On land and in the sea
When you've got
Crosswires
When you've got crosswires
Everything is buzz buzz
Everything is beep beep
Strange things happen everyday
It's confusious the Chinese say
Brings a nation to its feet
It's them people that you meet

In a milk bar and feeling lost
Drinking sodas as cold as frost
Someone leans in my direction
Quizzing on my jukebox selection
What do you call that noise
That you put on?

This is pop
Yeah yeah

This is!

On a walkway and moving fast
All I get is transistor blast
Someone leans in my direction
Quizzing on my station selection
What do you call that noise
That you put on?

This is pop
Yeah yeah

This is!

We come the wrong way
We come the long way
We play the songs much too loud

This is pop
Yeah yeah

Do what you do what you do ... to me
The stars are out and so am I
The stars I see ain't in the sky
I'm heading for the twilight zone
Please don't take me home

The first time I saw you standing in the water
You must have been all of a thousand feet tall
Nearly naked - unashamed like Herod's daughter
Your love was so big
It made New York look small
You've been the subject of so many dreams
Since I climbed your torso
Oh!
My statue of Liberty
Boo Boo
Impaled on your hair
What do you do
Do Do to me
Boo Boo
I leaned right over to kiss your stoney book
A little jealous of the ships with whom you flirt
A billion lovers with their cameras
Snap to look and in my fantasy
I sail beneath your skirt

There must be some way out of here,
said the joker to the thief,
"There's too much confusion,
I can't get no relief.
Businessmen, they drink my wine,
plowmen dig my earth,
None of them along the line know
what any of it is worth."

"No reason to get excited,"
the thief, he kindly spoke,
"There are many here among us
who feel that life is but a joke.
But you and I, we've been through that,
and this is not our fate,
So let us not talk falsely now,
the hour is getting late."

All along the watchtower,
princes kept the view
While all the women came and went,
barefoot servants, too.

Outside in the distance a wildcat did growl,
Two riders were approaching,
the wind began to howl

I look out of my window at night
I see the stars and I'm filled with fright
I got a feeling someone's looking
It ain't the aliens at the foot of my bed
It's more the ale inside my head
I got a feeling something's cooking
Science friction burns my fingers
Electricity still lingers
Hey put away that ray, how do you martians say
I love you
I read my comics from front to back
I'll be ready for any attack
I got a feeling someone's looking

Awful plastic boots that come above her ankle
Dayglo mini skirts just like a pop art spangle
Digs vanilla fudge buys lipstick by the pound
Gets that 'English' look resembles Kath McGowan

Have you seen her hair it's a style from heaven
Ah! she's nowhere she thinking this is 1967?
She's so square she's nowhere
She's so square she's nowhere

Take her to a disco and screaming Lord Sutch it!
Everyone must look but nobody must touch
what about her car? E type is the latest
How about the Yardbirds? Jeff Beck is the greatest!!

Have you seen her hair it's a style from heaven
Ah! she's nowhere she thinking this is 1967?
She's so square she's nowhere
She's so square she's nowhere

Watch them go one two three
I'm so happy and so is she
In a 'Danceband'
Show slow Quick quick slow
Heel to hell and toe to toe
In a 'Danceband'
You can do the Bosanova
'Till the night is through
You know Gay Gordon
You can meet him too
But when you hear that tune
One and one makes two
Don't step on my toes

When we're laying in bed
And we're laying in love
You and the blackness
Fit me like a velvet glove
That's why I go crazy
When you flick on your lamp
I'm dreaming
Hang on to the night
Hang on to the night
Hang on to the night
I don't want to see
That dawn light
Burn your window
When we're feeling drunk
In a city park
Put away that torch
I'm changed in the dark

She likes it hot
she likes a tan
she steals my infra fed when I'm gone
oh no can it be
we're heading for a heatwave
Her legs are brown
a trace of rust
she's in love with a MKII deluxe
oh no can it be we're heading for a heatwave
Her hair is bleached like it's been boiled
she browns herself in a sea of olive oil
and I come around and she's relaxing
in the conservatory

I'm out and I'm driving
Got my eyes set on romance
She says I've got a brand new thingey
Want to show you this dance
I say am I learning it steady
She say Look you're doing it already
It's the traffic light rock
Stop 'n go
All of the time
It's the traffic light rock
Stop 'n go all of the time
I'm out by the dance hall
Best buddy by my side
He says I've got a brand new car
I want to take for a ride
I say can we take Joan and Freddie
He say no they ain't ready

Instant tunes only just been made
Instant songs never to be played
Instant tunes hanging out to dry
Let me try to introduce you to
Instant tunes
Instant tunes
Instant tunes
Instant tunes
Ever and ever will they give us pleasure
their instant, still instant
Like mother used to make it oh!
Instant tunes give instant cash
Make me want to start a backlash
Let me have the recipe
And make me some lovely, lovely
Instant tunes
Instant tunes
Instant tunes
Instant tunes
Ever and ever will they give us pleasure
their instant, still instant
Like mother used to make it oh!
Ever and ever will they give us pleasure
their instant, still instant
Like mother used to make it oh!
Instant tunes give instant cash
Make me want to start a backlash
Let me have the recipe
And make me some lovely, lovely
Instant tunes
Instant tunes
Instant tunes
Instant tunes

I'm heading into the atom age
My contemporary house is all the rage
My wife's getting lazy going gadget crazy
Wants a pallette shaped coffee table and a matching settee
I'm heading into the atom age
My kids have gone obscene want to marry at fourteen
Want a pallette shaped coffee table and a matching settee

I'm heading into the atom age
I flick on the video to soothe me
It's better colour than the real thing!
I relax to a three D porno movie
Hey does anyone remember whatever happened to string?
I'm heading into the atom age

Ha Ha Ha
Ho Ho Ho
Now you see it
Now you don't
Has no bones
To hurt your throat
Good and sweet
Nice to eat
If you like it
Just repeat

I'll set myself on fire
I'll set myself on fire
I'll set myself on fire
Oh strike my hand
On a stone Joan
God knows this is yuk
Do it all in unison
Ha ha ha
Ho ho ho

We have the pool
Ah - no that's cruel
Why do you take me for
A fool?
Try the rails
It's just not me
No no no
No - Siree

I'm bugged you all look like insects
In your brand new sunspecs
I'm bugged I'm bugged
I drop a little note through my sympathetics door
I think I'm going ga ga I just can't take anymore
At first I see 'em swarming from a dark and midnight nest
And when I see 'em fiddling well I think you've guessed the rest!
I'm bugged you all look like insects
In your brand new sunspecs
I'm bugged I'm bugged
I wake up in a cold sweat and I run into the street
And just like in my nightmare they are jiggling at my feet
I take a dead man's lighter and I burn them to the floor
But where there was a dozen there are now a hundred more
I'm bugged

I think my watch has bust and so is time
I borrowed all my love so nothing's mine
There's nothing decent on the TV page
Like a new town animal in a furnished cage
It's gone eleven and the bar is shut
I'm sitting waiting like a real good mutt
I watch TV with an actor's rage
Like a new town animal in a furnished cage

I'm like a spinning top
Going round and around
Well I don't know what's up
And I sure don't know what's down
Now watch me - I'm like a spinning top
Can't tell day from night
Well I don't know what's wrong
And I sure don't know what's right
Now watch me
It started when I heard your song of love
Pouring down like honey from above
I started to spin
I started to move
Just like a needle
That's sticking in the same old groove
I'm like a spinning top
I like it so much I'm never going to stop