Drive-By Truckers

Looking out the window, the trees are getting closer it seems.
Thinking bout you Darling.
Adding up the cost of these dreams.

Strapped to this projectile, just a blink ago I was back in school.
Smoking by the gym door, practicing my rock-star attitude

And I'm scared shitless of what's coming next.
I'm scared shitless, these angels I see in the trees are waiting for me.

The engines have stopped now. We all know we are going down. Last call for alcohol.
Sure wish I could have another round.

And I'm scared shitless of what's coming next.
Scared shitless, these angels I see in the trees are waiting for me.
Waiting for me.

Friends in the swamp.
Friends on the ground, in the trees.
Angels and fuselage.

Economics shut the furnace down
Bull Connor hosing children down
George Wallace faced them Yankees down
In Birmingham

Take a left on the interstate
In the middle of this sultry state
I can't wait to see your face
In Birmingham

"I don't think it was worth it"
the last thing Stanley said to me
Twenty four years then a bullet in the chest and
I still see him in my sleep
Fifteen dollars in the purse he could not save
Her family didn't even buy a stone to mark his grave
"Call me up if you need a place to stay in Birmingham"
Birmingham

Most of my family came from Birmingham
I can feel their presence on the street
Vulcan Park has seen its share of troubled times
But the city won't admit defeat
Magic City's magic getting stronger
Dynamite Hill ain't on fire any longer
No man should ever have to feel he don't belong in Birmingham
Birmingham

Bobby went out for a joy ride with my best girl, left me at the party,
It was almost June and the three-quarter moon illuminated
The rain-soaked streets like a candy wrapper.
I guess that's why Bobby had his lights off,
Tear-assing through them back streets of town,
Where me and Bobby tear-assed so many times before.
Sometimes with my best girl and sometimes Bobby had him one too.

But this night he banked that curve just a little too hard and that 442 went airborne,
Hit a telephone pole and split in two, Bobby's skull was split right in two,
And my girl was pinned in her seat, partially embedded in the dashboard
And for the next twenty minutes the only sound in the night were the sounds of her screams.
And the sound of the wheel still spinning.

In a little while the ambulance came and the sound of its
siren mixed with the screaming girl and the spinning wheel.

But when the story was told the next day at the graduation ceremony,
Everyone said that when the ambulance came
The paramedics could hear Free Bird still playing on the stereo.

You know it's a very long song.

When I was a young boy I sniffed a lot of glue
Mom sent me to rehab, they told me what to do
We didn't have much money; the lord picked up the tab
They made me write him love songs, sitting in my room

Now I just drink whiskey and drive around my friends
Get a haircut, get a job, maybe born again
And if you're living badly, we'll tell you how to live
Dead, drunk, and naked

If you're out there listening, I just want you to know
I been doing just fine, psychiatrists tell me so
My scars are patched up; my arms have almost healed
My demons almost tranquilized, my pains almost killed

Me and old Jack Daniel's, become the best of friends
We got all them Baptist's to die for our sins
I know the lord is coming
The South will rise again! (Dead, drunk, and naked)

Daddy used to tell me, everything comes down to what they say about you when you're not around
And I wish that he was here now, I'm sure he would be proud
No one talks about me; the voices are too loud.

So if you come to see me, I'm sure you'll be impressed
By how well I'm behaving and how well I'm dressed
If you come to see me, hope you're coming soon

Dead, drunk, and naked

One more night, one more show, four down, eighty-four to go
This ain't no time for moving slow

Greenville to Baton Rouge
I'll call you up when I get through
The life I live is the life I choose
Greenville to Baton Rouge

The shows have sure been great this year
All eight cylinders all twelve gears
Call you up when I touch down at the airport in a Louisiana town.

Street survivors, feeling no pain
A little more rock, a little less cocaine.
And don't forget about Stevie Gaines

Greenville to Baton Rouge
I'll call you up when I get through
If it's the last thing that I do
Greenville to Baton Rouge

Last night, you should have seen this plane. The right engine shot a twelve foot flame.
But South Carolina made us glad we came.
Now we're up in the air again.

Once we hit Louisiana, baby, I don't care
Got a brand new airplane waiting for us there
Give this piece of shit back to Aerosmith.
Wake me up when we get there.

The right engine gave a little flash, the pilot panicked and dumped the gas
Everything is quiet, we're dropping fast.
When we touch down gonna whup' his ass!

Greenville to Baton Rouge
Can't die now got a show to do
The life I live is the life I choose
Greenville to Baton Rouge.


(One more for the mules…)

I think I'm gonna call the Police, I hear something upstairs
I know good and well there ain't nothing good going on up there
There's probably ten or more of them sittin' all around
Smokin' that stuff and drinkin' that hard liquor down

I've been living in this city since the day I was born
I've seen good times come and go and I've seen bad times drag on
I've seen white and black folks alike get treated just like sin
And every year or so I see a new truck load of white trash movin' in

When I was sixteen I had a little trouble with the law
He said "Boy come here" I said "Boy yourself
I ain't done nothing wrong"
He grabbed me by the arm and He went upside my head
Nobody saw nothing
But I got a little spot where my hair ain't grown back yet

I used to have me a woman and a pretty fine home
But it took so much to keep them both going I was always out and gone
I came home one afternoon to get me change of clothes
Caught a quick walkin' slick talkin' guitar picker
Headin' out my back door

Now I'm proud to say I ain't never been no violent man
But I'd sure be rotting in jail today if I'd had me a gun in my hand
I went inside threw her clothes on the floor and laid a suitcase across the bed
Not a word got spoke not a lick got throwed
And my woman ain't come back yet

Now I live in this building with the punks and the freaks
And I don't do much of nothing except go to work, come home, and drink
So guitar man you done picked the wrong damn place to stay
I'm a feeble old man
You're a young smart-ass
And there's a law-man on his way

Dropped acid, Blue Oyster Cult concert, fourteen years old
And I thought them lasers were a spider chasing me.
On my way home, got pulled over in Rogersville Alabama, with a half-ounce of weed and a case of Sterling Big Mouth.
My buddy Gene was driving, he just barely turned sixteen.
And I'd like to say, "I'm sorry", but we lived to tell about it
And we lived to do a whole lot more crazy, stupid shit.

And I never saw Lynyrd Skynyrd but I sure saw Molly Hatchet
With .38 Special and the Johnny Van Zant Band.

One night when I was seventeen, I drank a fifth of vodka on an empty stomach, then drove over to a friend's house
And I backed my car between his parents' Cadillacs without a scratch.
Then crawled to the back door and slithered through the key hole, and sneaked up the stairs
And puked in the toilet.
I passed out and nearly drowned but his sister, DD, pulled me out.

And I never saw Lynyrd Skynyrd but I sure saw Molly Hatchet
And the band that I was in played "The Boys are Back in Town".

Skynyrd was set to play Huntsville, Alabama, in the spring of 77, I had a ticket but it got cancelled.
So, the show, it was rescheduled for the "Street Survivors Tour".
And the rest, as they say, is history.

So I never saw Lynyrd Skynyrd but I sure saw Ozzy Osbourne with Randy Rhoads in 82
Right before that plane crash.
And I never saw Lynyrd Skynyrd but I sure saw AC/DC
With Bon Scott singing,"Let There Be Rock Tour"

With Bon Scott singing, LET THERE BE ROCK!

Let me tell ya'll a story
So far fetched it must be true
Bout a bunch of fatherless boys from Florida and one who was man enough for two.
Practiced twelve hours a day in the Hell House
In the swamps outside of town.
100 degrees without no open windows
Heat radiating off the tin.

They named their band Lynyrd Skynyrd, after the coach who kicked them out of school.
Seven days a week cuz rock's the only thing to save them from life in the factory.

They spent years inside the Hell House
Then they opened for the Stones and The Who
90 degrees, outdoor summer festivals
Them boys wouldn't even break a sweat.
Played each show like their lives depended on it
300 a year will take its due
They kicked The Stones ass out at Knebworth
Ask anyone who was there and they'll tell you

They hit the road doing ninety
Leave them steel mills far behind.
Ain't no good life down at the Ford plant
Three guitars or a life of crime

Sold out shows and platinum records, New York critics and redneckers
Bunch of boys from Florida had them eating from their hands
They got the fame and all the glory
But folks, it's still a sad story when legend over shadows the songs and the band.

Let me tell y'all a story that more or less is the truth
From the swamps of Northern Florida to the swamps just north of Baton Rouge.

Figurin' out things by the Railroad Bridge and a cousin or two want to give me just a little help.



Damn sure not much to do down here 'cept to cook it down and run it in your veins.

That's where the trouble started.

I fucked a lot of friends.

I fucked a lot of friends got a black line drawn right across my name.



Before the soul dies.

Before the sun burns out.

I want to walk through heaven's gate.

I want to walk through heaven's gate.



Moved on over to Georgia

Where the people's so nice you got to watch where you step.

Lookin' for toes and feelings.

Kicking and screaming sheets stay soaking wet.



The sun looks like the sun again

I got me a woman who does just a little wrong - just enough.

I'm through with addiction and heartache - now I say so long.



I made a valid attempt.

But I can't change my spots.

Lost everything again.

Everything I got.



And now my body dies

And the sun burns out

I walk through heaven's gate.

(or so my mama's told.)

I walk through heaven's gate.

He was ready for the big trip, he was moving to the city; he had packed his prize possessions and gave away the rest. He was almost doing ninety, the sky was blue, sun was shining. All the shit, he left behind for the big world waiting there. He was almost out of Leighton, when that phone truck didn't see him. Hit the brake and slided sideways, he never had a chance.

Plastic flowers on the highway. Bits of glass for the machine to sweep away.
Had to pass it on my way to where I'z going. For the next few minutes, I drove a little slower.

Them, M.A.D.D. mothers couldn't help him. He was sober, it was Sunday. He was full of good home cooking when he crashed the savior's door.

Plastic flowers on the highway. A greasy spot on the asphalt for a while.
Every morning, new babies being born, who'll do the best they can to hang around a little while.

My community service had me working for the county
Cutting grass on the off-ramps and medians and such.
Every quarter mile or so, stands a brand new reminder
Another traffic death in town. Something new to cut around.
Crashed out on the highway. Plastic cross and a plastic bouquet.
Paramedics in the by-stander's gaze.

Plastic flowers on the highway. Bits of glass for the machine to sweep away.
Had to pass it on my way to where I'z going.
For the next few minutes I drove a little slower.

Got them pretty road cases
Protect our asses, protect our faces, protect our guitars, protect our amps.
Got them pretty road cases throw them out an airplane and they'll just bounce

Paint our name on them road cases, stencil and white spray paint
"Drive-by Truckers" on every one or maybe just "DBT"
Gonna get ourselves a big tour bus, maybe even an airplane
Fly around the world and back.
Hope it don't run out of gas.

Got them pretty road cases

Someday we'll hock our road cases, when we don't need them anymore
To pay off that big cocaine dealer (the only thing they're useful for)
One day we'll sell our road cases, when we don't need them anymore
When we outlive our usefulness,
The only thing road cases are useful for.

Got them pretty road cases.

Church blew up in Birmingham
Four little black girls killed for no goddamn good reason
All this hate and violence can't come to no good end
A stain on the good name.
A whole lot of good people dragged through the blood and glass
Blood stains on their good names and all of us take the blame

Meanwhile in North Alabama, Wilson Pickett comes to town
To record that sweet soul music, to get that Muscle Shoals sound

Meanwhile in North Alabama, Aretha Franklin comes to town
To record that sweet soul music, to get that Muscle Shoals sound

And out in California, a rock star from Canada writes a couple of great songs about the
Bad shit that went down
"Southern Man" and "Alabama" certainly told some truth
But there were a lot of good folks down here and Neil Young wasn't around

Meanwhile in North Alabama, Lynyrd Skynyrd came to town
To record with Jimmy Johnson at Muscle Shoals Sound
And they met some real good people, not racist pieces of shit
And they wrote a song about it and that song became a hit

Ronnie and Neil Ronnie and Neil
Rock stars today ain't half as real
Speaking their minds on how they feel
Let them guitars blast for Ronnie and Neil

Now Ronnie and Neil became good friends their feud was just in song
Skynyrd was a bunch of Neil Young fans and Neil he loved that song
So He wrote "Powderfinger" for Skynyrd to record
But Ronnie ended up singing "Sweet Home Alabama" to the lord

And Neil helped carry Ronnie in his casket to the ground
And to my way of thinking, us southern men need both of them around

Ronnie and Neil Ronnie and Neil
Rock stars today ain't half as real
Speaking their minds on how they feel
Let them guitars blast for Ronnie and Neil

Your bad dreams and intuitions
Are about as much good to me right now as a brand new set of golf clubs
We've been this close to death before, we were just too drunk to know it
Guess the price of being sobers being scared out of your mind

When it comes your time to go, ain't no good way to go about it
Ain't no use in thinking bout it
You'll just drive yourself insane
There comes a time for everything
And the time has come for you to shut your mouth and get your ass on the plane
Ain't nothing I'd rather do right now than just go on home and lay around
But that ain't never an option for a working man like me
How much is enough you ask
I'll ask the man when I get a chance
All I know right now, there's somewhere else I'm suppose to be
(

)
Screaming engines, shooting flames
Dirty needles and cheap cocaine
Some gal's old man with a gun
To me it's all the same
Dead is dead and it ain't no different than walking around if you ain't living
Living in fear's just another way of dying before your time
(

)

Ain't about my pistol
Ain't about my boots
Ain't about no northern drives
Ain't about my southern roots
Ain't about my guitars, ain't about my big old amps
"It ain't rained in weeks, but the weather sure feels damp"
Ain't about excuses or alibis
Ain't about no cotton fields or cotton picking lies
Ain't about the races, the crying shame
To the fucking rich man all poor people look the same

Don't get me wrong It just ain't right
May not look strong, but I ain't afraid to fight
If you want to live another day
Stay out the way of the southern thing

Ain't about no hatred better raise a glass
It's a little about some rebels but it ain't about the past
Ain't about no foolish pride, Ain't about no flag
Hate's the only thing that my truck would want to drag

You think I'm dumb, maybe not too bright
You wonder how I sleep at night
Proud of the glory, stare down the shame
Duality of the southern thing

My Great Great Granddad had a hole in his side
He used to tell the story to the family Christmas night
Got shot at Shiloh, thought he'd die alone
From a Yankee bullet, less than thirty miles from home
Ain't no plantations in my family tree
Did NOT believe in slavery, thought that all men should be free
"But, who are these soldiers marching through my land?"
His bride could hear the cannons and she worried about her man

I heard the story as it was passed down
About guts and glory and Rebel stands
Four generations, a whole lot has changed
Robert E. Lee
Martin Luther King
We've come a long way rising from the flame
Stay out the way of the southern thing

Throw another log on the fire, boys, George Wallace is coming to stay
When he met St. Peter at the pearly gates, I'd like to think that a black man stood in the way.
I know "All should be forgiven", but he did what he done so well
So throw another log on the fire boys,
George Wallace is a coming

Now, he said he was the best friend a black man from Alabama ever had,
And I have to admit, compared to Fob James, George Wallace don't seem that bad
And if it's true that he wasn't a racist and he just did all them things for the votes
I guess Hell's just the place for "kiss ass politicians" who pander to assholes.

So throw another log on the fire, boys, George Wallace is coming to stay
I know, in the end, he got the black people's votes, but I bet they'd still vote him this way.
And Hell's just a little bit hotter cuz He played his hand so well
He had what it took to take it so far

Now the Devil's got a Wallace sticker on the back of his car

[ Now the Mule-ettes walk out in devil horns and tails, raise their hands in the air and sing:]
"OH ------ ALABAMA

If I make it through this year, I think I'm gonna put this bottle down
Maybe as time goes on I'll learn to miss it less than I do now
Think I'm gonna tell her that I'm gonna go away for a while
Till I can get this demon out

You know the bottle ain't to blame and I ain't trying to
It don't make you do a thing it just lets you
When I'm six feet underground, I'll need a drink or two
And I'll sure miss you

Take me piece by piece till there ain't nothing left worth taking away from me

The highway's humming in my head and it's hard to hear
Won't you read my lips if I pull you near enough
Could you read my fortune in the bottem of this coffee cup
Tell me how to tell when I've had enough

If morning's a bitch with open arms and night's a girl who's gone to far
Whiskey is harder to keep than a woman and it's half as sweet but
Women without whiskey, Women without whiskey
Whiskey is hard to beat
Whiskey is hard to beat

Your Daddy was mad as hell
He was mad at me and you
When he tied that chain to the front of my car and pulled me out of that ditch that I slid into
Don't know what his problem is
Why he keeps sending me away
Don't know why I put up with his shit
When you don't put out and Zip City's so far away

Your Daddy is a deacon down at the Salem Church of Christ
And he makes good money as long as Reynolds Wrap keeps everything wrapped up tight
Your Mama's as good a wife and Mama as she can be
And your sister's puttin' that sweet stuff on everybody in town but me
Your brother was the first-born, got ten fingers and ten toes
And it's a damn good thing cause he needs all twenty to keep the closet door closed

Maybe it's the twenty-six mile drive from Zip City to Colbert Heights
Keeps my mind clean
Gets me through the night
Maybe you're just a destination, a place for me to go
A way to keep from having to deal with my seventeen-year-old mind all alone
Keep your drawers on, girl, it ain't worth the fight
By the time you drop them I'll be gone
And you'll be right where they fall the rest of your life

You say you're tired of me taking you for granted
Waiting up till the last minute to call you up and see what you want to do
Well you're only fifteen, girl, you ain't got no secretary
And "for granted" is a mighty big word for a country girl like you
I think it's just your Daddy talking
Cause he knows that blood red carpet at the Salem Church of Christ
Ain't gonna ever see no wedding between me and you

Zip City it's a good thing that they built a wall around you
Zip up to Tennessee or zip right down to Alabama
I got 350 heads on a 305 engine
I get ten miles to the gallon
I ain't got no good intentions

Be careful that you don't
Use up your ninth one
We all were careless once
We all were careless once

It can be too much fun
Just going round once
It all can slip away
One banana peel away

You left this big old void
sure miss your sweet voice
Gone into the void
We all were careless once

We all were careless once
We all were careless once
We all were careless once

It's Decoration Day
An' I'd a mind to roll a stone on his grave
What would he say?
Keeping me down, boy, won't keep you away

It's Decoration Day
And I knew the Hill boys would put it on away
But my daddy wasn't afraid
He said, "We'd fight till the last Lawson's last living day"

I never knew how it all got started
A problem with Holland before we were born
And I don't know the name of that boy we tied down
And beat till he just couldn't walk anymore

But I know the caliber in Daddy's chest
I know what Holland Hill drives
The State let him go, but I guess it was best
'Cause nobody needs all us Lawsons alive

Daddy said one of the boys had come by
The Lumber Man's favorite son
He said, "Beat him real good but don't dare let him die
And if you see Holland Hill, run"

Well, I said, "They ain't give us trouble before"
An' we ain't brought down on ourselves
But a chain on my back and my ear to the floor
An' I'll send all the Hill boys to Hell
I'll send all the Hill boys to Hell

It's Decoration Day
And I got a family in Mobile Bay
And they never seen my daddy's grave
But that don't bother me, it ain't marked anyway

'Cause I got dead brothers in Lauderdale, south
And I got dead brothers in east Tennessee
My daddy got shot right in front of his house
He had no one to fall on but me

It's Decoration Day
And I've got a mind to go spit on his grave
If I was a Hill, I'd have put him away
And I'd fight till the last Lawson's last living day
I'd fight till the last Lawson's last living day
I'd fight till the last Lawson's last living day

My Daddy called me on a Friday morning
So sad to tell me just what you've done
You tried so hard to make us all hate you
But in the end you was the only one

Sick, tired, pissed and wired
You never thought about anyone else
You tried in vain to find something to kill you
In the end you had to do it yourself

Who's to blame for the loveless marriage
Who's to blame for the broken band
You ran from life and all of it's pleasures
Your own teeth marks on your own damned hand

Thrown out before the date expired
You rather die than let anyone help
You rather die than take a stab at living
Nothing would kill you so you do it yourself

Everyone has those times when the night's so long
The dead-end life just drags you down
You lean back under the microphone
And turn your demons into walls of goddamned noise and sound

And it's a sorry thing to do to your sweet sister
It's a sorry thing to do to your little boy
It's a sorry thing to do to the folks who love you
Your Mama and Daddy lost their only boy

Some should say I should cut you slack
But you worked so hard at unhappiness
Living too hard just couldn't kill you
In the end you had to do it yourself
Living too hard just couldn't kill you
In the end you had to do it yourself

Something about the wrinkle in your forehead
Tells me there's a fit about to get thrown
If we get the van out of the ditch before morning
Ain't nobody got to know what I done

And I never hear a single word you say
When you tell me not to have my fun
It's the same old shit that
I ain't gonna take off anyone

And I don't need to be forgiven
By them people in the neighborhood
When we first hooked up, you looked me in the eye
And said, "Paw, we just ain't no good"

We were heathens in their eyes at the time
I guess I am just a heathen still
And I never have repented from the wrongs that they say
I have done, I've done what I feel

It was a difficult delivery now it's growing up mean and strong
When you tell me that it's getting a little bit tight
Ain't the first time I been outgrown and I'm gonna push a little harder
She ain't revved till the rods are thrown I'll walk away

And I don't need to be forsaken by you or anybody else
and I never had a shortage of people tryin' to warn me
About the dangers I pose to myself, heathens

These times can take their toll sometimes
And I know you feel the same way too
It gets so hard to keep between the ditches
When roads wind the way they do

There’s a lot of bad wood underneath the veneer
She’s an overnight sensation after twenty five years
Sharp fast curves, power steering
unroll that twenty, buy me some beer
Ain’t too bad, too bad at all, pick up the phone if I ever call
Hell No, I Ain’t Happy.

There’s a purdy little girl outside the van window
Bout 80 cities down, 800 to go
Six crammed in, we ain’t never alone
Never homesick, ain’t got no home
Check my mail if you would please, Jenn
Collect my things till I’m in town again
Hell No, I Ain’t Happy.

But I get a little closer everyday
Gonna be a long time till I’m back your way.

I’ve seen just how much I can stand
One night in Kansas City, we thought about killing a man
Seen my number fly by on Interstate Ten
Seen the mountains of Montana at Seven AM.
And I keep it all together for the sake of the kids
Got your fine-ass self on the back of my lids
Hell No, I Ain’t Happy.
But I ain’t too crappy, too crappy at all.

He kept a loaded gun in the closet
And another one in the dresser drawer
Just in case the one in the closet
Didn't make a big enough hole

She has breakfast ready every morning
And his lunch in a box sitting out by the kitchen door
She'd make sure he had everything he needed
And hug his neck and tell him how much she loved him
And it was beautiful you should have seen it

Then she'd make herself a pot of coffee just the way she liked it
And sit down and enjoy the quiet of the house all alone
But, by two O'clock or so every afternoon
The quiet would start getting to her and she'd watch
The clock until he came back home

And she understood just what he needed
When he came home every evening
Was just a couple of beers and a couple of minutes
To cuss about his day

So she'd fix him a nice hot supper
While he ranted and raved about one thing or the other
And she never once told him what he was going on about
Didn't add up to a thing

And she never touched that gun in the closet
It was his and it was there just because he wanted it to be
She didn't get out much, so she never knew just what it was
That made him so afraid

Most women today would say she was a disgrace
Most men would say she wasn't much to look at
And they all would say she'd be a lot better off
If she cared a little more about what they all think

She could have a life of her own if she had a little pride
Some silicone implants, and another man on the side
But she's got a loaded gun in the closet
And it's there anytime she wants it

And her one and only man knows it and
That's why he put it there in the first place

Well my daddy didn't pull out, but he never apologized
Rock and Roll means well, but it can't help tellin' young boys lies
A baby on the ways a good enough reason to get you out alive
Get you out without having to swallow any pride

All my friends are restless, all they do is talk it down
Two or eight lanes, it don't matter, it's just another town
There's a fool on every corner, on every street in every one
And I'd rather be your fool nowhere than go somewhere and be no one's

So marry me, sweet thing won't you marry me
Your Mama thinks I beat anything she's ever seen
But this old towns alright with me, there's nowhere I'd rather be
Long as they stay mad at one another, well they can't get mad at me

Every time I leave here something bad happens to me
Like a busted hand or finding some man laying where I sleep
She don't mean nothing to me, that's just how it goes round here
It's a cartoon town, I play my part and I ain't spoke her name in years

So marry me, sweet thing won't you marry me
Your Mama thinks I beat anything she's ever seen
Well this old towns alright with me, there's nowhere I'd rather be
Long as they stay mad at one another, well they can't get mad at me
Let's go

I don't want anything I done to be nobodys fault
Even if they got more money and mouth than they got balls
Well that's just how it went down, right or wrong, it's just that way
They're just, 'cause I don't run my mouth don't mean I got nothing to say

Marry me, sweet thing won't you marry me
Your Mama thinks I beat anything she's ever seen
Well this old towns alright with me, there's nowhere I'd rather be
Long as they stay mad at one another, well they can't get mad at me

So marry me, sweet thing won't you marry me
Marry me, sweet thing won't you marry me

Child, as I look in your eyes
You know my life seems like a minute
There I find living proof
Of all the wonder life hold in it

In the past I thought I had to learn
Any good that comes from this life we're living
Here and now, let us realize
That this life's gift and it's already been given

Someday when you stand in the middle
Like it or not you're gonna look both ways
You're gonna find that time is a riddle
Where days turn into years and years into the blink of an eye

Child, once I saw a man on the TV
Lead a nation up a mountain
He said, children, look over yonder
The flame of truth is burning brightly

Sometimes you look so far, there's only so much time
Only so many of us are gonna get there
Here and now is all we really have
But if we can make it count we got no reason to worry

Someday when you stand in the middle
Like it or not you're gonna look both ways
You're gonna find that time is a riddle
Where days turn into years and years into the blink of an eye

You're gonna walk that mile
You're gonna be in that number
You're gonna make that journey
Just like the good book says
There's a time to be born, a time to cross over

You want to grow up to paint houses like me
A trailer in my yard till you're 23
You want to be old after 42 years
Keep dropping the hammer and grinding the gears

Well, I used to go out in a Mustang
A 302 Mach One in green
Me and your Mama made you in the back
And I sold it to buy her a ring

And I learned not to say much of nothing
And I figured you already know
But in case you don't or maybe forgot
I'll lay it out real nice and slow

Don't call what your wearing an outfit
Don't ever say your car is broke
Don't worry about losing your accent
A Southern Man tells better jokes

Have fun but stay clear of the needle
Call home on your sister's birthday
Don't tell them you're bigger than Jesus
Don't give it away, don't give it away

Six months in a St. Florian foundry
They call it Industrial Park
Then hospital maintenance and Tech School
Just to memorize Frigidaire parts

But I got to missing your Mama
And I got to missing you too
And I went back to painting for my old man
And I guess that's what I'll always do

So don't let him take who you are boy
And don't try to be who you ain't
And don't let me catch you in Ken dale
With a bucket of wealthy-man's paint

Don't call what your wearing an outfit
Don't ever say your car is broke
Don't sing with a fake British accent
Don't act like your family's a joke

Have fun, but stay clear of the needle
Call home on your sister's birthday
Don't tell them you're bigger than Jesus
Don't give it away, don't give it away

I've always been a religious man
I've always been a religious man
But I met the banker and it felt like sin
He turned my bailout down
The banker man, he let into me
Let into me, let into me
The banker man, he let into me
And spread my name around

He thinks I ain't got a lick of sense
'Cause I talk slow and my money's spent
I ain't the type to hold it against
But he better stay off my farm
'Cause it was my daddy's and his daddy's before
And his daddy's before and his daddy's before
Five generations and an unlocked door
And a loaded burglar alarm

Lots of pictures of my purdy family
Lots of pictures of my purdy family
Lots of pictures of my purdy family
In the house where I was born
House has stood through five tornadoes
Droughts, floods, and five tornadoes
I'd rather wrestle an alligator
Than to face the banker's scorn

'Cause he won't even look me in the eye
He just takes my land and apologize
With pen, paper, and a friendly smile
He says the deed is done
The sound you hear is my daddy spinning
The sound you hear is my daddy spinning
The sound you hear is my daddy spinning
Over what the banker done

Like to invite him for some pot roast beef
And mashed potatoes and sweet tea
Follow it up with some banana pudding
And a walk around the farm
Show him the view from McGee town hill
Let him stand in my shoes and see how it feels
To lose the last thing on earth that's real
I'd rather lose my legs and arms

Bury his body in the old sink hole
Bury his body in the old sink hole
Bury his body in the old sink hole
Under cold November sky
Then damned if I wouldn't go to church on Sunday
Damned if I wouldn't go to church on Sunday
Damned if I wouldn't go to church on Sunday
And look the preacher in the eye

When I saw her standing there
With her bright eyes and shining hair
She was looking back at me
Some are meant to sing
Some are meant to talk
And some aren't meant to say a thing

When she opened up her mouth
And that sweet voice came out
I lost track of my own name
Now she's found herself and I lost mine
And I'm just another guy
Who can't give her anything

Well the drifter, he holds on to his youth
Just like it was money in the bank
And Lord knows I can't change sounds better in the song
Than it does with hell to pay

I might as well of slipped
That ring on your finger
From a window of a van s it drove away
Now she's found herself and I lost mine
And I'm just another guy
Who can't give her anything

Dreams are given to you
When you're young enough to dream them
Before they can do you any harm
They don't start to hurt
Until you try to hold on to them
After seeing how they really are

She used to dream them with me
Every single crazy one
Until they started hurting her too
Now she's got some of her own
And outgrowing me
Might be the best thing for her she's ever done

A light that shines as bright as hers
Can't be kept in the shadows for too long
A heart that wants to live and a soul that wants to give
Can't just sit at home alone

Lord, she gave me everything and never wanted anything
I couldn't give just what was inside of me
Now she's found herself and I lost mine
And I'm just another guy
Who can't give her anything
Now she's found herself and I lost mine
And I'm just another guy
Who can't give her anything

By the time you were born, there were four other siblings
With your mama awaiting your daddy in jail
And your oldest brother was away at a home
And you didn't meet him 'til you were nineteen years old

Old enough to know better, old enough to know better
But you took to his jaw line and long sandy hair
And he made you feel like none of the others
And the way he looked at you, touched you deep down in there

So you jumped on his bike and rode into the sunset
But the sequel it started with the next morning sun
And the dew on the bike seat and you all a glow
From the love he put in you and a life on the run

So you moved to a small town, then to another
Then to another with another on its way
And you both swore to God we will keep it together
And the State wouldn't take your babies away

Now, the District Attorney said he might of forgiven
You had lots of reasons to turn out this way
But you both go to jail for them four little babies
You made and delivered along the way

Last night you had a dream of a Lord so forgiving
He might show compassion for a heathen he damned
You awoke in a jail cell, alone and so lonely
Seven years in Michigan

You can lie to your mama
You can lie to your race
But you can't lie to nobody
With that cold steel in your face

And the same God you were so afraid
Was gonna send you to Hell
Is the same one you're gonna answer to
When the pin hits the shell

Well, your sister's been blaming everybody
And I don't blame her man, I guess I'd do the same
If you were my brother, man, I'd probably stand by you
But you ain't, man, so I gotta go my way

And I ain't going to crawl up on no high horse
'Cause I got thrown off of one
When I was young and I ain't no cowboy
So I ain't going where I don't belong

It wouldn't do no good to let you know
That it damn near killed me too
So I ain't gonna mourn for you, man
Now that you're gone

Me and you, we liked our pills
And our whiskey
But you don't want your head full of either one
When the house gets quiet and dark

Feeling good, it used to come
So damn easy
Racing trains from Second Street
To Avalon

Take a trip down memory lane
But you don't see no friendly faces
All the houses have been painted
And nobody knows your name

It's enough to make a man
not want to be nobody's daddy
Well, all he thinks he's got to lift his hand
Now is guilt and shame

And I ain't going to crawl up on no high horse
'Cause I got thrown off of one
When I was young and I ain't no cowboy
So I ain't going where I don't belong

It wouldn't do no good to let you know
That it damn near killed me too
So I ain't gonna mourn for you, man
Now that you're gone

You can lie to your mama
You can lie to your race
But you can't lie to nobody
With that cold steel in your face

And the same God you were so afraid
Was gonna send you to Hell
Is the same one you're gonna answer to
When the pin hits the shell

I know your Daddy hates me
And I got a room in hell reserved
I know he wants to kill me
And it's the least that I deserve

But I always loved his daughter
That's something that I know you know
Just sometimes don't do what I ought to
Sometimes I yes when I should no

I know your Daddy hates me
And I drink more than a whale
But my failures ain't for lack of trying
It's just a little too late now to prevail

But you always knew I was a screw up
Long before I screwed us up
You said it endeared you to me
But in the end you just gave up

And I always loved your Daddy
I loved your Mama even more
And I always loved their daughter
That's for sure

And I know your Daddy hates me
I know I'd probably hate me too
But, I also know you don't hate me
Even though you'd probably like to and ought to

It's a little too late for writing love songs
But I never did anything on time
Happiness on your big adventure
See you darling down the line

And I always loved your Daddy
I loved your Mama even more
And I always loved their [Incomprehensible]
That's for sure

Now I always loved your Daddy
I loved your Mama even more
And I always loved their daughter
That's for sure

You want to grow up to paint houses like me
A trailer in my yard till you're 23
You want to be old after 42 years
Keep dropping the hammer and grinding the gears

Well, I used to go out in a Mustang
A 302 Mach One in green
Me and your Mama made you in the back
And I sold it to buy her a ring

And I learned not to say much of nothing
And I figured you already know
But in case you don't or maybe forgot
I'll lay it out real nice and slow

Don't call what your wearing an outfit
Don't ever say your car is broke
Don't worry about losing your accent
A Southern Man tells better jokes

Have fun but stay clear of the needle
Call home on your sister's birthday
Don't tell them you're bigger than Jesus
Don't give it away, don't give it away

Six months in a St. Florian foundry
They call it Industrial Park
Then hospital maintenance and Tech School
Just to memorize Frigidaire parts

But I got to missing your Mama
And I got to missing you too
And I went back to painting for my old man
And I guess that's what I'll always do

So don't let him take who you are boy
And don't try to be who you ain't
And don't let me catch you in Ken dale
With a bucket of wealthy-man's paint

Don't call what your wearing an outfit
Don't ever say your car is broke
Don't sing with a fake British accent
Don't act like your family's a joke

Have fun, but stay clear of the needle
Call home on your sister's birthday
Don't tell them you're bigger than Jesus
Don't give it away, don't give it away

Life ain't nothing but a blending up of all the ups and downs
Dammit Elvis, don't you know
You made your Mama so proud
Before you ever made that record, before there ever was a Sun
Before you ever lost that Cadillac that Carl Perkins won

Mr. Phillips found old Johnny Cash and he was high
High before he ever took those pills and he's still too proud to die
Mr. Phillips never said anything behind nobody's back
Like "Dammit Elvis, don't he know, he ain't no Johnny Cash"

If Mr. Phillips was the only man that Jerry Lee still would call sir
Then I guess Mr. Phillips did all of Y'all about as good as you deserve
He did just what he said he was gonna do and the money came in sacks
New contracts and Carl Perkins' Cadillac

I got friends in Nashville, or at least they're folks I know
Nashville is where you go to see if what they said is so
Carl drove his brand new Cadillac to Nashville and he went downtown
This time they promised him a Grammy
He turned his Cadillac around

Mr. Phillips never blew enough hot air to need a little gold plated paperweight
He promised him a Cadillac and put the wind in Carl's face
He did just what he said he was gonna do and the money came in sacks
New contracts and Carl Perkins' Cadillac

Dammit Elvis, I swear son I think it's time you came around
Making money you can't spend ain't what being dead's about
You gave me all but one good reason not to do all the things you did
Now Cadillacs are fiberglass, if you were me you'd call it quits

I came to tell my story to all these young and eager minds
To look in their unspoiled faces and their curious bright eyes
Stories of corruption, crime and killing, yes it's true
Greed and fixed elections, guns and drugs and whores and booze

It's been a while since I put on a suit of my own clothes
And even longer since I cast my shadow on a church house door
They say every sin is deadly but I believe they may be wrong
I'm guilty of all seven and I don't feel too bad at all

I used to have a wad of hundred dollar bills in the back pocket of my suit
I had a .45 underneath my coat and another one in my boot
I drove a big ole Cadillac, bought a new one anytime I pleased
And I put more lawmen in the ground than Alabama put cottonseed

I spent a few years on vacation, sanctioned by the state I mentioned
But a man like me don't do no time too hard to come back from
The meanest of the mean, I see you lock away and toss the key
But they're all just loud mouth punks to me, I've scraped meaner off my shoe

Somewhere, I ain't saying, there's a hole that holds a judge
The last one that I dug myself
And I must admit I was sad to lay him in it, but I did the best I could
Once his Honor grows a conscience, well folks, that there just ain't no good

There's a pretty girl out there said "Daddy, you stay cool tonight
All I need from you is to come home and be here by my side
Say what you gotta say to shut their Bibles and their mouths
If they was to tie a noose, they'd have to lay their Bibles down"

I ain't here to save no souls and even if I could
I could never save enough to put back half the ones I took
So if they rest in torment you can't say it's cause of me
They'd long been bought and paid for like that fool's in Tennessee

Before I could walk, I had a wrench in my hand
I was my Mama's little angel and my Daddy's second chance
He went end over end the first year he went pro
Lost part of his eyesight and he couldn't race no more

But he never lost his touch when he got underneath the hood
He knew how to make them run and he knew one day he would
See his name in victory lane and engraved on that cup
Just like all them other crazy fools with racing in their blood

He would put me on his lap when he'd drive and I'd take the wheel
He'd say "What do you think about that son? How does she feel?
You just wait till them little legs get long enough to reach the gas
Once you put her on the floor one time there ain't no turning back"

Every Saturday, he'd take me out to the garage
He'd take an empty bucket and fill it full of engine parts
He's sit me down and pour em out in front of me on the floor
I'd have to tell him what each one was and what each one was for

We'd jump into the car and go down to the race that night
He'd tell me what each driver was doing wrong and what each one did right
He could always pick the winner before they ever took a curve
#3 might have the car but 43 has got the nerve

Before I turned 18 Daddy said "Now pretty soon
You'll be old enough to drive but I'll leave it up to you
I taught you all about it, taught you everything I know
You gotta have a car to do it and you gotta work and buy your own"

The first one I bought was a Mustang #2
Nobody kept'em any longer than they kept a pair of shoes
They started showing up at every used car lot in town
A V-8 on a go-cart, easy terms, no money down

Me and Daddy and my uncle took her home and tore her down
Checked her out real good, cleaned her up and bored her out
Took out all the seats, pulled the carpet off the floor
Knocked out all the glass and welded up the doors

The first time that I raced my qualifying was a shame
I started out way in the back and came back about the same
I pulled her in the pit, couldn't look my Daddy in the eye
He said "If you quit now son, it's gonna haunt you all your life"

It ain't about the money or even being #1
You gotta know when it's all over you did the best you could've done
Knowing that it's in you and you never let it out
Is worse than blowing any engine or any wreck you'll ever have

Since then I've wrecked a bunch of cars and I've broke a bunch of bones
It's anybody's race out there and I've learned to race my own
I'd shove em in the wall and I'd hit em from behind
I'd let them know that I was there, I'd let them know that track was mine

It's been several years now since my Daddy passed away
But his picture's on my dash every time I go to race
I lost more than I won but I ain't gonna give up
Till they put me in the ground or Daddy's name's on that cup

Let the night air cool you off.
Tilt your head back and try to cough.
Don't say nothing 'bout the things you never saw.
Let the night air cool you off.

I ain't living like I should.
A little rest might do me good.
Got to sinking in the place where I once stood.
Now I ain't living like I should.

Can you hear that singing? Sounds like gold.
Maybe I can only hear it in my head.
Fifteen years ago we owned that road
now it's rolling over us instead.

Richard Manuel is dead.

God forbid you call their bluff.
Like the nightmares ain't enough.
Remember when we used to think that we were tough?
God forbid you call their bluff.

First they make you out to be
the only pirate on the sea.
Then they say Danko would have sounded just like me.
"Is that the man you want to be?"

Can you hear that song? It sounds like gold.
Maybe I could make it bigger overseas.
Fifteen years ago we owned this road
now it only gives us somewhere else to leave.

Something else you can't believe.

Can you hear that singing? Sounds like gold.
Maybe I can hear poor Richard from the grave
singin' where to reap and when to sow
when you've found another home you have to leave.

Something else you can't believe.

I got green and I got blues
And everyday there's a little less difference between the two
I belly up and disappear
Well I ain't really drownin' 'cause I see the beach from here
I could take a Greyhound home but when I got there it'd be gone
Along with everything a home is made up of

So I'll take two what you're havin' and I'll take all of what you got
To kill this goddamn lonely, goddamn lonely love

Sister, listen to what your daddy says
Don't be ashamed of things that hide behind your dress
Belly up and arch your back
Well I ain't really fallin' asleep I'm fadin' to black
And you could come to me by plane, but that wouldn't be the same
As that old motel room in Texarkana was

So I'll take two of what you're havin' and I'll take all of what you got
To kill this goddamn lonely, goddamn lonely love

Stop me if you've heard this one before
A man walks into a bar and leaves before his ashes hit the floor
Stop me if I ever get that far
The sun's a desperate star that burns like every single one before
And I could find another dream, one that keeps me warm an' clean
But I ain't dreamin' anymore, girl I'm wakin' up

So I'll take two of what you're havin' and I'll take everything you got
To kill this goddamn lonely, goddamn lonely love

All I got is his goddamn lonely, goddamn lonely love
All I got is his goddamn lonely, goddamn lonely love
All I got is his goddamn lonely, goddamn lonely love

Come walk with me through endless time
See what has been and what the future sees
Share the wisdom of the old world that has passed
Step in a life that's yet to be born

You spill the blood
Eternal soul

I'll show you sights that you would not believe
Experience pleasures thought unobtained
At one with evil that has ruled before
Now smell the stench of immortality

You spill the blood
Eternal soul

Spill your blood, let it run on to me
Take my hand and let go of your life
Close your eyes and see what is me
Raise the chalice, embrace for evermore

You've spilt the blood
I'll have your soul

Let this be a lesson to you, girl
Don't come around where you know you don't belong
They're riding on the avenue and probably coming after you
And they all look mean and strong

Mean and strong like liquor, mean and strong like fear
Strong like the people from South Alabama
And mean like the people from here
Take it from me, we ain't never gonna change

And Daddy used to empty out his shotgun shells
And fill 'em full of black-eyed peas
He'd aim real low and he tear out your ankles
Or rip right through your knees

There ain't much traffic on the highway
There ain't much traffic on the lake
'Cause the ATF and the ABI got everything they could take
Didn't take it from me, they didn't take it from me
Take it from me

We ain't never gonna change
We ain't doin' nothin' wrong
We ain't never gonna change
So, shut your mouth and play along

Well, I thought about going in the army
I thought about going overseas
I wouldn't have trouble with a piss test
Only problem is my bad left knee

My brother got picked up at Parker's
Got him a ride in a new Crown Vic
They said that he was movin' on with federal level
But they couldn't really make it stick
Take it from me

We ain't never gonna change
We ain't doin' nothin' wrong
We ain't never gonna change
So, shut your mouth and play along

And you can throw me in the Colbert County jailhouse
You can throw me off the Wilson Dam
But there ain't much difference in the man I wanna be
And the man that I really am

We ain't never gonna change
We ain't doin' nothin' wrong
We ain't never gonna change
Just shut your mouth and play along

We ain't never gonna change
We ain't never gonna change
We ain't never gonna change
We ain't never gonna change

Mary Alice had a baby and he looked just like I did
We got married on a Monday and I been working ever since
Every week down at the Ford Plant but now they say they're shutting down
God damned Reagan in the White House and no one there gives a damn

Double Digit unemployment, TVA be shutting soon
While over there in Huntsville, They puttin' people on the moon

So I took to runnin' numbers for this man I used to know
And I sell a few narcotics and I sell a little blow
I ain't getting rich now but I'm gettin' more than by
It's really tough to make a living but a man just got to try

If I died in Colbert County, Would it make the evening news?
They too busy blowin' rockets, Puttin' people on the moon

Mary Alice quit askin' why I do the things I do
I ain't sayin' that she likes it, but what else I'm gonna do?
If I could solve the world's problems I'd probably start with hers and mine
But they can put a man on the moon
And I'm stuck in Muscle Shoals just barely scraping by

Mary Alice got cancer just like everybody here
Seems everyone I know is gettin' cancer every year
And we can't afford no insurance, I been 10 years unemployed
So she didn't get no chemo so our lives was destroyed
And nothin' ever changes, the cemetery gets more full
And now over there in Huntsville, even NASA's shut down too

Another Joker in the White House, said a change was comin' round
But I'm still workin' at The Wal Mart and Mary Alice, in the ground
And all them politicians, they all lyin' sacks of shit
They say better days upon us but I'm sucking left hind tit
And the preacher on the TV says it ain't too late for me
But I bet he drives a Cadillac and I'm broke with some hungry mouths to feed

I wish I'z still an outlaw, was a better way of life
I could clothe and feed my family still have time to love my pretty wife
And if you say I'm being punished. Ain't he got better things to do?
Turnin' mountains into oceans Puttin' people on the moon

Turnin' mountains into oceans Puttin' people on the moon

We gonna take you up to McMary county Tennessee
Back in the days when Sheriff Buford
Busted around things around there
Sheriff Buford Pusser
Was tryin to clean up McMary county Tennessee
From all them boot leggers that was bringin' crime and corruption
And illegal liquor into this little dry county
And for his troubles he got ambushed
And his wife was murdered and his house got blown up
And they made a movie about it called, "Walking tall"
This is the other side of that story

Well, they caught you smokin' grass
And the judge threw the book
And I saw a little opportunism in your look
You can take it from me, boy
Take it from a crook
We got friends on the inside
And friends on the outside
They'll sneak up beside you
So keep on their good side

I can see you standin' there
Starin' down at your shoes
Thinkin' 'bout your mom and dad
And wonderin' what to do
Well you best look inside yourself, boy
We're all watchin' you
We got friends in jail
Who can see you through
Boy, don't forget no matter what you do

Don't piss off the boys from Alabama
You know we won't let it slide
Well, they might find your body in the Tennessee river
Or they might not find it at all
And there'll be no place to run and hide
And your family ain't safe at all
So don't piss off the boys from Alabama
We're keepin' an eye on you
Were're keepin' an eye on you

Don't piss off the boys from Alabama
You better take it like a man
Ain't nobody gonna stick anythin' up your ass
If you remember who your friends are
We got good help down in Franklin county
They'll hunt you like a dog
You can take your fall or lose it all
The choice is up to you
I wouldn't piss off the boys from Alabama
If I was you
If I was you

Now Sheriff Buford Pusser's gotten too big for his britches
With his book reviews and movie deals
Down at the car lot makin' public appearances
For breakin' up our homes and stills
I know he likes to brag how he wrestled a bear
But I knew him from the funeral home
Ask him for a warrant, he'll say "I keep it in my shoe"
That son of a bitch has got to go
That son of a bitch has got to go

Now they lined up around the block to see that movie
And cryin' for his ambushed wife
Marvelin' about shot eight times and stabbed seven
Some folks can't take a hint
They say he didn't take no crap from the State Line Gang
Oh, what the hell they talkin' 'bout?
I'm just a hard workin' man with a family to feed
And he made my daughter cry
Said he made my daughter cry

"Watch out for Buford", is what they keep on tellin' me
But to me he's just another crooked lawman from Tennessee
He gets a hot new car to keep us on our toes
And that ridiculous stick where the press corp goes
And some big time Hollywood actors playin' him on the big screen
Watch out for Buford, he's shuttin' down our stills and whores"
It ain't like he's all that different from what was there before
It wouldn't take my man long to do the job
Just a partially sawed through steering rod
And I wouldn't have to worry about the good Sheriff anymore

Now the funeral's got'em lined up for twenty blocks
No one liked that SOB when he's alive
But the ruckus he began keeps on spreadin' like a wildfire
Not sure if I'm gonna survive
Hit an embankment doin' one twenty on a straight away
The Lord works in mysterious ways
They'll probably make another movie, glorifying what he done
But I'll never have to hear them say
Watch out for Buford
Watch out for Buford

I watched the rain; it settled in. We disappeared for days again.
Most of us were staying in, lazy like the sky.
The letters flew across the wire filtered through a million liars.
The whole world smelled like burning tires the day John Henry died.

We knew about that big machine that ran on human hope and steam.
Bets on John were far between and mostly on the side.
We heard he put up quite a fight. His hands and feet turned snowy white.
That hammer rang out through the night the day John Henry died.

When John Henry was a little bitty baby nobody ever taught him how to read
but he knew the perfect way to hold a hammer was the way the railroad baron held the deed.

It didn't matter if he won, if he lived, or if he'd run.
They changed the way his job was done. Labor costs were high.
That new machine was cheap as hell and only John would work as well,


so they left him laying where he fell the day John Henry died.

John Henry was a steel-driving bastard but John Henry was a bastard just the same.
An engine never thinks about his daddy and an engine never needs to write its name.

So pack your bags, we're headed west and L.A. ain't no place to rest.
You'll need some sleep to pass the test, so get some on the flight
and say your prayers John Henry Ford 'cause we don't need your work no more.
You should have known the final score the day John Henry died.

George A. was at the movies in December '41
They announced it in the lobby what had just gone on
He drove up from Birmingham, back to the family's farm
Thought he'd get him a deferment, there's was much work to be done

He was a family man, even in those days
But Uncle Sam decided he was needed anyway
In the South Pacific, over half a world away
He believed in God and country, things was just that way
Just that way

When I was just a kid, I spent every weekend
On the farm he grew up on so I guess so did I
And we'd stay up watching movies on that black and white TV
We watched 'The Sands of Iwo Jima' starring John Wayne

Every year in June George A. goes to a reunion
Of the men that he served with and their wives and kids and grandkids
My great uncle used to take me and I'd watch them recollect
About some things that I could not comprehend

And I thought about that movie, asked if it was that way
He just shook his head and smiled at me in such a loving way
As he thought about some friends he will never see again
He said, "I never saw John Wayne on the sands of Iwo Jima"

Most of those men are gone now but he still goes every year
And George A.'s still doing fine, especially for his years
He's still living on that homestead in the house that he was born in
And I sure wish I could go see him today

He never drove a new car though he could easily afford it
He'd just buy one for the family, take whatever no one wanted
He said a shiny car didn't mean much after all the things he'd seen
George A. never saw John Wayne on the sands of Iwo Jima

George A. never saw John Wayne on the sands of Iwo Jima

The clouds started forming, five o'clock pm
The funnel clouds touched down five miles north of Russellville
The siren's were blowing, clouds spat rain
And as the thing came through, I swear, it sounded like a train

"It came without no warning", said Bobby Jo McLean
She and husband Nolen always loved to watch the rain
It sucked him out the window, he ain't come home again
All she can remember's that it sounded like a train

Pieces of that truckstop
Litter up the highway
I been told
And I hear that missing trucker ended up in Kansas
Maybe it was Oz

The Nightmare Tour ended for my band and me
The night, all the shit went down
Homecoming concert, the night the tornadoes hit my home town
The few who braved the weather got sucked out of the auditorium
I can still remember, sound of their applause in the rain
As it echoed through them storm clouds, I swear, it sounded like a train

My Daddy played poker on a stump in the woods back in his younger days
Prohibition was the talk, but the rich folks walked to the woods where my Daddy stayed
Jugs and jars from shiners, these old boys here, they ain't miners
They came from the twenty-niners
It didn't take a hole in the ground to put the bottom in their face

Back in the thirties when the dust bowl dried
And the woods in Alabama didn't see no light
My Daddy played poker by a hard wood fire
Squeezing all his luck from a hot copper wire
Scrap like a wildcat fights till the end
Trap a wildcat and take his skin
Deal from the bottom, put the ace in the hole
One hand on the jug but you never do know

Son come running
You better come quick
This rotgut moonshine is making me sick
Your Mama called the law and they're gonna take me away
Down so far even the Devil won't stay
Where I call to the Lord with all my soul
I can hear him rattling the chains on the door
He couldn't get in I could see he tried
Through the shadows of the cage around the forty watt light

Daddy tell me another story
Tell me about the lows and the highs
Tell me how to tell the difference between what they tell me is the truth or a lie
Tell me why the ones who have so much make the ones who don't go mad
With the same skin stretched over their white bones and the same jug in their hand

My Daddy played poker on a stump in the woods back when the world was gray
Before black and white went and chose up sides and gave a little bit of both their way
The only blood that's any cleaner is the blood that's blue or greener
Without either you just get meaner and the blood you gave gives you away

Let this be a lesson to you, girl
Don't come around where you know you don't belong
They're riding on the avenue and probably coming after you
And they all look mean and strong

Mean and strong like liquor, mean and strong like fear
Strong like the people from South Alabama
And mean like the people from here
Take it from me, we ain't never gonna change

And Daddy used to empty out his shotgun shells
And fill 'em full of black-eyed peas
He'd aim real low and he tear out your ankles
Or rip right through your knees

There ain't much traffic on the highway
There ain't much traffic on the lake
'Cause the ATF and the ABI got everything they could take
Didn't take it from me, they didn't take it from me
Take it from me

We ain't never gonna change
We ain't doin' nothin' wrong
We ain't never gonna change
So, shut your mouth and play along

Well, I thought about going in the army
I thought about going overseas
I wouldn't have trouble with a piss test
Only problem is my bad left knee

My brother got picked up at Parker's
Got him a ride in a new Crown Vic
They said that he was movin' on with federal level
But they couldn't really make it stick
Take it from me

We ain't never gonna change
We ain't doin' nothin' wrong
We ain't never gonna change
So, shut your mouth and play along

And you can throw me in the Colbert County jailhouse
You can throw me off the Wilson Dam
But there ain't much difference in the man I wanna be
And the man that I really am

We ain't never gonna change
We ain't doin' nothin' wrong
We ain't never gonna change
Just shut your mouth and play along

We ain't never gonna change
We ain't never gonna change
We ain't never gonna change
We ain't never gonna change

Mama ran off with a trucker
Mama ran off with a trucker
Mama ran off with a trucker
Peterbilt, Peterbilt

Mama ran off with a trucker
Mama ran off with a trucker
Mama ran off with a trucker
Peterbilt, Peterbilt

He is making her give life another stab
They can see the world from way up in the cab

Mama ran off with a trucker
Mama ran off with a trucker
Mama ran off with a trucker
Peterbilt, Peterbilt

Mama ran off with a trucker
Mama ran off with a trucker
Mama ran off with a trucker
Peterbilt, Peterbilt

She can quit her job now, be his little bride
He can get a local route and stay home by her side
She can fix him roast beast and sweet potato pie
He can eat a lot of it 'cause he a big old guy

They got married in Dollywood
They got married in Dollywood
They got married in Dollywood
By a Porter Waggoner look alike

18 wheels of love

Tired of living in Buttholeville
Tired of my job and my wife Lucille
Tired of my kids, Ronnie and Neil
Tired of my '68 Bonneville

Working down at Billy Bob's Bar and Grille
The food here tastes like the way I feel
There's a girl on the dance floor dressed to kill
She's the best looking woman in Buttholeville

Yeah, I'm gonna get out of Buttholeville
Gonna reach right in, gonna grab the till
Buy a brand new hat and a Coupe Deville
Lay a patch on the road that runs over the hill

There's a beach somewhere where the waters are still
Gonna lay in the sun till my skin peels
Drinking the best scotch whiskey, eating lobster, eating eel
Never going back to Buttholeville

Never going, never going, never going
Never going back, back, back, back
Back to Buttholeville, back to Buttholeville
Never going, never going, never going, never going
Never going, never going, never going

(chorus)
Demonic Possession
His court's in session
I sign my confession
Demonic Possession

It was raining on the day she told me
them things that fella sold me
Mama wasn't thee to scold me
No prison or cell could hold me
I still recall the date
I'z probably about eight
when I sealed my fate
You honor I rightly state
(repete chorus)

Suddenly I had a foot hold
I became such a butthole
I don't need nobody consoling me
No one but the devil controlling me

I can kick ass and talk backward
I hang out with a whole bunch of slackers
and I know I can get some help from him
I listen to a lot of Led Zeppelin
(repete chorus)

I got so much money I don't need smarts
My records are flying to the top of the charts
and I'm eating in all those fancy restaurants
and Hanging out with Sam Phillips
and I owe it all to him
Oh, the shape I'm in
The devil says the only thing that's buggin him
is Hell's filling up with Republicans
(repete chorus twice)

I'm late for church again
Never seem to be on time
I hear the bell as it peals through the holler
Does it sound like a friend of mine

A hundred eyes turn as I enter
My face burnin' as I walk past pews
I can tell they think I'm a sinner
I hear them whisper while I'm watching my shoes

The only seat left is right up front
I'm not a bit surprised
The back is soft but the seat is hard
Why can't they get it right?

Reverend Bob is preachin' out thunder
Mom and Dad follow every last word
All that hollerin' makes me wonder
Does a whispered prayer get heard?

Reverend Bob is pointin' his finger
Fire and brimstone pouring down
Me, I'm wondering what's for dinner
Waitin' for 12 o'clock to come round

Everybody's got their own Heaven
They all find it their own ways
I am an angel, I, I am an angel, I
I am an angel, I am an angel

Saw you standing in the hallway, red plastic cup
And one of them big long cigarettes
You asked me if I could play you some Dylan
I said,?Dylan, who?? You told me to kiss your ass

I apologized, but you could tell I didn?t mean it
By the way I rolled my eyes
When you said,"It wasn?t me, it was you"
Somehow I knew you were gonna tell me why

Stuff was flying out of the window
Falling and breaking on the pavement underneath
He?s screaming at you, red faced and fuming
He?d come home early, parked his car way up the street

You had your stockings in your hand, panties in your purse
It was 10 a.m., all the neighbors heard him calling you
A whore and a tramp and you just stood there
While your heels sank into the warm wet ground

He got a lawyer, you've got a bottle
He got the children and you moved in with your mama
She cooks you breakfast and lets you drive her car
She don?t care how late you call to tell her where you are

Ya?ll still fight, she still nags you some
Somehow it?s different now than you were young
It?s your own damn fault, you've been through hell
For one reason or another, seems like she kinda blames herself

All packed to go, baloney and mayonnaise sandwiches for the road
Lay them out across the dash in the August sun

And if they turn green don't be afraid
Nothing can hurt you but yourself
Nothing can hurt you but yourself

I been given to visions from time to time
Voice in my head can be a little unkind sometimes

Go ahead, point it at me, I ain't scared
Nothing can hurt you but yourself
Nothing can hurt you but yourself

And if I see me on the street and if I whop you on the head
You probably got it coming and if you hit me back
We'll call it even, but I ain't going down easy
'Cause my mama loves me and I got friends in Decatur, Alabama

So drink another drink and smoke another cigarette
Somethings gonna get us yet
'Cause I got ashes in my throat and I ain't got no vote
It's just the way I stand myself

Nothing can hurt you but yourself
Nothing can hurt you but yourself
Nothing can hurt you but yourself
Nothing can hurt you but yourself

Steve McQueen, Steve McQueen
When I was a little boy I wanted to grow up to be
Steve McQueen, Steve McQueen
The coolest doggone motherscratcher on the silver screen

I'd drive real fast everywhere, no one would ever catch me
And I'd kick your ass if you pissed me off so be careful what you ask me
And I'd never have an empty bottle or an empty bed
And as cool as Paul Newman is I bet Steve could whup his head

Steve McQueen
When I was a little boy I wanted to grow up to be
Steve McQueen, Steve McQueen
The coolest doggone motherscratcher on the silver screen

Now 'Bullet' was my favorite movie that I'd ever seen
I totaled my go-cart trying to imitate that chase scene
That Duster had six hubcaps, know what I mean
And I love the way they all flew off when it landed in that ravine

Steve McQueen, Steve McQueen
When I was a little boy I wanted to grow up to be
Steve McQueen, Steve McQueen
The coolest doggone motherscratcher on the silver screen

And I really loved the 'Getaway' back when I was eight
That pussy Alec Baldwin sucked in the remake
And speaking of pussy, I guess Steve got it all
He fucked Faye Dunaway and he fucked Ali McGraw

Steve McQueen, Steve McQueen
When I was a little boy I wanted to grow up to be
Steve McQueen, Steve McQueen
The coolest goddamn mothefucker on the silver screen

I went to see 'The Hunter' on my first date
'The Hunter' was the last movie Steve McQueen lived to make
They took my drivers license when I was just sixteen
The year Mesothelioma killed Steve McQueen

Steve McQueen, Steve McQueen
When I was a little boy I wanted to grow up to be
Steve McQueen, Steve McQueen
The coolest goddamn mothefucker on the silver screen

The coolest goddamn mothefucker on the silver screen
The coolest goddamn mothefucker on the silver screen
The coolest goddamn mothefucker on the silver screen
Steve McQueen

I wake up tired and I wake up pissed
Wonder how I ended up like this
I wonder why things happen like they do
But I don't wonder long 'cause I got a show to do

I'm sick at my stomach from the A.Z.T.
Broke at my bank 'cause that shit ain't free
But I'm here to stay, at least another week or two
And I can't die now 'cause I got another show to do

Don't give me no pity, don't give me no grief
With till I die for sympathy
Just help me with this amp and a guitar or two
I can't die now 'cause I got another show to do

Don't give me no preachin' no self servin'
And I ain't no angel but nobody's deserving
I can dance on my own grave, thank you
But I can't die now 'cause I got another show

Some people keep sayin', I can't last long
But I got my bands, I got my songs
Liquor, beer and nicotine to help me along
And I'm drunk and stubborn as they come
Chain smokin', guitar pickin', 'til I'm gone
Gone, gone, gone

I ain't got no political agenda
Ain't got no message for the youth of America
Except "Wear a rubber and be careful who you screw"
And come see me next Friday 'cause I got another show

Some people stop livin' long before they die
Work a dead end job just to scrape on by
But I keep livin' just to bend that note in two
And I can't die now 'cause I got another show

She's a beauty, yes sir she is, said EZ Dan
Fifty five, a bad age, smelling of Brut from Fabrege' and sweat
EZ Dan don't bathe a lot these days
And why the hell should he anyway?

"She's got a few miles on her, but then again, who don't?"
He said with a slight chuckle
The recent Binaca blast still lingering on his breath
And besides, them's highway miles

I shifted my weight from one foot to the other
It certainly wasn't the car of my dreams, but the price was right
And EZ Dan assured me the mid 70's were a particularly nice period
For Chrysler products in general and this one is a Volare'

And besides
Finally having an eight-track means I can play
All them tapes I ain't been able to listen to
Since high-school

So we stuffed EZ Dan's body in the trunk and hauled ass out of town
But somewhere just past the middle of nowhere the fuel pump blew
And the oil pump too
And the piston rods hurled straight threw the engine block
Dropping oil, gasoline, water
And anti-freeze onto the Alabama red clay below

Ain't that a bitch?
I ain't never been lucky with love
I ain't never been lucky with love
I ain't never been lucky with love
I ain't never been lucky with love

Them stories that you tell me are so hard to swallow
You said, "Go to hell", but I know you'd just follow
The future's closing in quicker than you think

And hanging with you I know why Henry drinks

Those obnoxious drunks downstairs are fighting and cussing
And twelve years of you and me don't add up to nothing
You say what's on your mind, tell it to your shrink

So he can know like me why Henry drinks

Just a few more hours till the sun comes back around
To tear each other down and drink another round
Lost it on the way now I'm hating what we found
Mendacity and grudge-fucks and pieces out of town

I drink half a case of beer for a get home from work
Daddy needs his medicine to keep his hands off mama's throat
Baby, push a little harder 'cause you got me on the brink

Of spilling more than guts about why Henry drinks
Telling you so much about why Henry drinks

You met him at the dance hall, you only saw his charms
You said he really swept you off your feet
Then one night he's drinking and jealousy enraged
He knocked out two of your front teeth

So you came over to hide out at my place
I guess I should have killed him there and then
But you begged me not to, now you say he's changed
And you're gonna go back to him

Don't give me that bull about how it's for the children
A man like that could never be a dad
What happens when he kills you? What will they do then?
Sometimes you ought to ask yourself that

Don't go back to him he's a wife beater
Be better off with this potato eater
You says, "He's changed", don't be a fool
A man like that's no good for you
A man like that's no good for you

Don't go back to him he's a wife beater
Be better off with this potato eater
You says, "He's changed", don't be a fool
A man like that's no good for you
A man like that's no good for you
A man like that's no good for you

Gran Gran keeps a box of spiders
Says they're on me when I sleep
Waiting in the out-house for me
Underneath the seat

Great-grandmothers 'bout ninety-seven
She is sure when she gets to heaven
Old St. Peter's gonna throw his arms around her and say
"I've waited so long for us to meet"

Put the general in a box and buried him behind
The stony point church of Christ when I was three
When the Lord comes to take me I'll die with a smile on
'Cause He's taking all my pains and fears

Said the generals last words were
"It's hotter than hell in here"

Gran Gran keeps a box of spiders
So she told me as a child
I would hold it in for hours
Too mean to die, too mean to die, too mean

I met your mama when I was sixteen
You couldn't have been anymore than three
She caught me stealing y'all's color TV
She called the cops and they arrested me

She was the wildest thing I'd ever seen
The way she pointed that shotgun at me
The police hauled my ass off to jail
Your mama signed the trailer to help make the bail

She picked me up and drove me home
Said I'll learn you not to roam?
Green green grass under my feet
But all I can think about's the dirt underneath

Bulldozers and dirt Bulldozers and dirt
Behind the trailer, my desert
Them red clay piles are heaven on earth
I get my rocks off, bulldozers and dirt

I got a pickup that's up on blocks
And I'm up to my ass in debt and hock
And I can't get the red stains off of my socks
And I can't get you off of my mind

I've lived with your mama for eleven years
Through good times, and bad times, fist fights and tears
But something comes over me when you come near
So won't you come over and sip on this beer

Bulldozers and dirt bulldozers and dirt
Behind the trailer, my desert
I don't mean no harm, I just like to flirt
But most of all I like bulldozers and dirt

Most of all I like bulldozers and dirt

Coming home with a bottle, trying not to break the seal
This Friday evening traffic's about enough to break a man's will
And I can't wait to see you, see how your week has gone
And tear into old No.7 and make love till dawn

But your mama she'll be calling, if she ain't knocking on the door
And it won't take me long to remember what I brought that bottle home for
And we'll all get to fighting, just like we always do
By Saturday morning, I'll be singing these blues

Last night I slept with my boots on again
One cut on my forehead one on my chin
On the hard old floor with nothin' to cover up with
You got me real good, girl, I must admit
Pack purty mean punch for such a pretty little dish
And it's a shame to know most folks don't ever know love like this

Come Monday morning, I'll be sore to a fare-thee-well
Cussin' God and America, begging them both just to send me off to hell
But the boss man don't want no excuses
When it comes time to get on the clock
And without that paycheck, I'd lose the rest of what sweet love I got

Last night I slept with my boots on again
One cut on my forehead one on my chin
On the hard old floor with nothin' to cover up with
You got me real good, girl, I must admit
Pack purty mean punch for such a pretty little dish
And it's a shame to know most folks don't ever know love like this

It's a shame to know most folks don't ever know love like this

I don't want to go to dinner with Margo and Harold.
I don't like the way he looks at you, and the way she looks at me,
Way they look at each other, like we're just part of some private joke.
I don't want to go dinner with Margo and Harold,

No matter how good the food.
I don't want to make small talk, innuendo,
Or go for a ride in Harold's Corvette.
I'm scared of the basement of Harold's Pawn Shop,

I've heard tales of what goes down there.
Mid-life crises, high on Dilauded, Valium, and crystal meth.
Harold and Margo, feeling no pain
Fifty and crazy, big hair and cocaine.

If they call on the phone, tell them I'm not home.
That night with Margo was a long time ago.
It makes me nervous how much Harold knows,
And the way that he looks at you.

I don't want to see why Harold's now skinny.
I don't want to see Margo's bikini.
So if they call, tell them you ain't seen me or that I'm in too much pain.
Harold and Margo, taking aim.

Horny and loaded, big-hair and cocaine.

Jupiter mules kickin' out all the stops
Newfangled dogs danglin' stars from her eyelids
She can't read between the lies anymore
Lord, help her rise just one more time if you can.
Still, the children read to her
till she opens up her hands

When my body dies will you remember my name?
When my body dies will you remember my name?

Oh, Mrs. Dubose you were such a flower
now you're all dead inside withered and insane
Oh, Mrs. Dubose you were such a flower, you got the death,
the dust, and the opium runnin' through your veins
Black maid stays cause she's paid to be around
Condemned and scared for all she knows
You better look at the road when you pass
she gonna fix you with that evil eye
unless your hotdin' your old man's hand
you better pass on by better pass on by

My roommate's gun got nine bullets in it
Nine bullets in my roommate's gun
My roommate's gun got nine bullets in it
Gonna find a use for every last one

One for the love who chose to betray me
A real fine love who wouldn't be true
One for the man that she betrayed with
Nice enough fella, she'll betray him too
Nice enough fella, she'll betray him too

My roommate's gun got nine bullets in it
Nine bullets in my roommate's gun
My roommate's gun got nine bullets in it
Gonna find a use for every last one

One for my boss man, riding my butt again
Sorry sir, but you'd better clock out
One for the lady down at the laundrymat
Who goes threw my dryer pulling one sock out
She goes threw my dryer pulling one sock out

My roommate's gun got nine bullets in it
Nine bullets in my roommate's gun
My roommate's gun got nine bullets in it
Gonna find a use for every last one

One just to put me out of my misery
I better aim that sucker true
I'll leave a note that says I'm sorry
But I went off the deep end when I fell for you
Went off the deep end, I fell for you

One each for my immediate family
They'll be so disappointed to see what I done
One left over, I'll save it for my roommate
After all it's my roommate's gun
After all it's my roommate's gun
After all it's my roommate's gun
It's my roommate's gun

My roommate's gun got nine bullets in it
Nine bullets in my roommate's gun
Roommate's gun got nine bullets in it
Nine bullets in my roommate's gun
Nine bullets in my roommate's gun
Yeah nine bullets in it

Gonna find a use for every last one
Gonna find a use for every last one
Gonna find a use for every last one

If I had a dime for every time
I heard my old man say one of these days
I wouldn't be like my old man today
Talking 'bout places that he'd been
Back in his younger days that he was gonna go back
To again one of these days

Dropped out of school when he was just sixteen
Fell right in to a tire plant
Building the very things that make the asphalt sing
And put Alabama far behind you

I remember him saying that
Chicago was a hell right here on earth
And twenty five years later
I was saying the same thing about Memphis

It's no wonder everybody's scared of downtown Birmingham
It's just a little too close to home
But there's more crooks down here and the cops don't care
While old white men wearing ties can do anything they want

Once a country boy's seen the way the steam rises
Off a man's insides on the sidewalk
Tends to change the way he thinks, the way he sees everything
And he goes back to where he came from

One of these days when my face looks like a road map
Gonna find my way back home
And I'll go walking on the west side after dark
And leave my gun locked in my car
One of these days you'll take one look at me and run
One of these days you'll take one look at me and run

Me and my brother's old lady went out and got stinking,
She solved her curiosities about me by the railroad tracks.
She said I reminded her of him before he started drinking
And banging the babysitter every time she turned her back.
I we opened up the sunroof and smoked a big ole joint
And drank a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon listening to the crickets and trains.

Every so often she'd lapse into narcotic rambling.
Moon and mascara. I've always been a holy terror.
Temptations lurking every where.
If your mind's in the gutter, Beware!

You'll find me there.
Me and a friend were talking after the funeral.
She said it should have been me but I'm still around and I been so wild,
I'm surprised I made it to the seventh grade,
And all my dead friends have settled down.

My eyes were puffy and she asked if I'd been crying.
I said 'tears are for pussies' but who was I kidding.
So we stopped at the bar and drank them dry. Beer and tequila.
I've always been a thrill seeker.
But thrills are a dime a dozen these days.

And I found a dime in the gutter today.
Tails facing up. Still fucking up.
Still fucking up.
A funny thing happened on my way to a strange way of thinking.

My Mama told me, your life is such a wreck
Your dumber than dog shit is what my Daddy said
I was just thirteen when they showed me the door
I keep their picture but don't look at it no more

My first wife told me, you need to get a life
My third wife told me to get another wife
I brought a bottle and the van's parked by that tree
So come on out with me, if you want to be number four

Sometimes I feel like shit
Sometimes that ain't half of it
Sometimes I'm so high I'm scared to go to sleep
Sometimes I'm lower than the company I keep

Ain't held down a job since 1984
I get by holding up convenience stores
I get by on liquor, guns and luck
But I'm scared to death which one might run out first

Sometimes I feel like shit
Sometimes that ain't half of it
Sometimes I'm so high I'm scared to go to sleep
Sometimes I'm lower than the company I keep

I seen my past in everything that I despise
I've seen my future and I'm scared to close my eyes
Is that my ghost that I see in my fears
Or just my reflection in my Mama's tears

Sometimes I feel like shit
Sometimes that ain't half of it
Sometimes I'm so high I'm scared to go to sleep
Sometimes I'm lower than the company I keep

Sometimes I'm lower than the company I keep
I pray the Lord, my soul to keep

We were bored, there was nothing going on.
Might as well stay at home and drink until we pass out again.
Then drink some more when the morning comes.
Memphis was sinking into the Mississippi.
We were doing our best just to ride it down.
Till the night G.G. Allin came to town.
"Honey, I dont believe this,"
the old man at Ferguson's Cafe kept saying to his wife.
As he read aloud The Memphis Star and their account of what went down that night
"It says He took a shit on the stage and started throwing it into the crowd.
But He was gone before the cops could come and shut him down."
Gone before the shit came down.
The Night G.G. Allin Came to Town.
The Night G.C. Allin Came to Town.
Antenna Club, Memphis, 1991.
Punk Rockers Paid $12.00 to be Shit On!
The Night G.G. Allin Came to Town
"It says He took the microphone and shoved it up his ass!"
The old man and his wife were aghast
The Night G.G. Allin Came to Town.
The Night G.G. Allin Came to Town.

(NEWS FLASH!!!) (scene: the press corps have descended upon the White House, a spokesperson begins to speak:)

They looked in the White House and Capitol Hill
They looked everywhere for Buffalo Bill
We called every scholar, reporter, and genius
Has anyone seen the Presidents penis?

It aint in the Congress or Judiciary
It aint in the Smithsonian or that big ole library
an astronomer claims it was sighted on Venus
Has anyone seen the Presidents penis?

(now the entire press corp. erupts in song:)
THE PRESIDENTS PENIS IS MISSING OLE!!!
WE SEARCHED HIGH AND LOW, EVERY NIGHT EVERYDAY
LORD, WONT YOU COME DOWN AND REDEEM US
HAS ANYONE SEEN THE PRESIDENTS PENIS?

(at this point, legendary news man Walter Cronkite returns from the moon to add his commentary:)
Now Presidents have goofed up in all kinds of ways
in the 80s we elected one missing his brain
George Washington caught a cold he couldnt explain
and we all know the truth about Thomas Jeffersons name

(suddenly William Randolph Hurst rises from the grave and bellows out in an Orson Welles type voice:)
Franklin D. Roosevelt wasnt no square
with that raging Woodrow in his wheelchair
and all the lesbians snickered that Elenor didnt care
and John Kennedys penis was seen everywhere

(once again everyone breaks out in gleeful song:)
THE PRESIDENTS PENIS IS MISSING OLE!!!
WE SEARCHED HIGH AND LOW EVERY NIGHT EVERY DAY
LORD WONT YOU COME DOWN AND REDEEM US
HAS ANYONE SEEN THE PRESIDENTS PENIS?

(the scene shifts to Sen. John Glenn, wandering pensively, somewhere in space:)
Them outer space people would laugh if theyd seen us
all this talk about cum-stains and oral coitus
meanwhile the whole world suffers from hunger and meanness
but were more concerned with the Presidents penis

THE END?

They powered up the city with hydro-electric juice
Now we got more electricity we can ever use
They flooded out the hollow and all the folks down there moved out
But they got paid so there ain't nothin' else to think about

Some of them made their living cutting the timber down
Snaking it one log at a time up the hill and into town
T.V.A. had a way to clear it off real fast
Lots of men and machinery build a dam and drown the rest

Uncle Frank lived down the park, down on Cedar Creek
Bought fifteen acres when he got back home from overseas
Fifteen rocky acres, figured no one else would want
Till all that backed up water had to have some place to go

Uncle Frank couldn't read or write
Never held down a job or needed one in his life
They assured him there'd be work for him in town building cars
It's already going down

The cars never came to town and the roads never got built
And the price of all that power kept on going straight uphill
And banks around the hollow sold for lake-front property
Where doctors, lawyers, and musicians teach their kids to water ski

Uncle Frank couldn't read or write
So there was no note or letter found where he died
Just a rope around his neck
And the kitchen table turned on it's side

All my family problems disappeared over night
We're all taking Zoloft and everything is fine
My sister's teen angst just flew out the window
Mama's so happy she laughs all the time

Used to have trouble getting along with each other
Mama's hating Daddy, I'm hating little brother
Then the family doctor gave us all these little pills
Now I can't believe how great we all feel

All my family problems disappeared over night
We're all taking Zoloft and everything is fine
My sister's teen angst just flew out the window
Mama's so happy she laughs all the time

The birds in the trees all sing them happy songs
Everyone is smiling, we're so glad to be alive
Even my old pit bull don't growl anymore
He just watches tail wag from side to side

All my family problems disappeared over night
We're all taking Zoloft and everything is fine
My sister's teen angst just flew out the window
Mama's so happy she laughs till she cries

I used to be so unhappy singing songs about killing
Taking methadone and jacking off four or five times a day
But now I'm so happy, I'm so god damned happy
Who needs an orgasm when life's so fucking great

All my family problems disappeared over night
We're all taking Zoloft and everything is fine
My sister's teen angst just flew out the window
Mama's so happy she cries all the time