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2:18 | 
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from Nerf Herder - American Cheese (2005)
I was walkin' down milpas street
just a-lookin' for something to eat when I saw you with that guy named Joe out in front of pavlakos He were standin' really close you were lookin' up his nose and I couldn't believe what i saw you let him touch your bra! now your busted! whoa-oa-oa, busted! whoa-oa-oa, busted! whoa-o -a-oa, i'm disgusted, you're busted then you got into his car and you drove to the trailer park there he had a little place and big fat smile on his face I snuck up to the window and watched the entire show yeah you went all the way! and now you've gotta pay! now your busted! whoa-oa-oa, busted! whoa-oa-oa, busted! whoa-o -a-oa, i'm disgusted, you're busted now! (spoken word) busted! whoa-oa-oa, busted! whoa-oa-oa, busted! whoa-oa-oa, busted! whoa-oa-oa, busted! whoa-o -a-oa, i'm disgusted, you're busted now yeah... Boo! |
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2:37 |
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from Nerf Herder - American Cheese (2005)
All alone in your pajamas
Writing letters to your grandma She doesn't understand what's wrong with kids today Things were better back in 1938 You go to school, you do the homework Extra credit - But you still feel like a jerk Second captain of the debating club You've got the GPA, but where is the dirty love? It's not right Your by yourself on a Friday night Lost and alone You gotta bark if you want the bone Put your hands on my cashmere sweater My cashmere sweater Put your hands on my cashmere sweater Don't it make you feel better? You drive your friend to the rock show You've got suspicions that she's kind of a ho She disappears with the drummer Your sitting on the curb What a bummer! It's not fair Your dying, and no one seems to care Take, Take a stand Put down the pencil case and take my hand Put your hands on my cashmere sweater My cashmere sweater Put your hands on my cashmere sweater Don't it make you feel better? Come to me I'm warm and fuzzy Come to me I'm warm and fuzzy Come to me I'm warm and fuzzy Come to me I'm warm and fuzzy |
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3:07 |
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from Nerf Herder - American Cheese (2005)
Long ago, we watched the videos
On Headbanger's Ball That's where we learned it all Wearing Spandex pants Six-string Lazers in their hands Synchrenized Guitars They layed out the master plan Defending the faith Keep fighting forever Fighting so hard. Fighting so long. Victory will be ours. Defending the faith We'll never surrender Fighting so hard. Fighting so long. victory will be ours. Sitting on our bed Hair helmets on our heads. Got no time for chicks We're practicing our licks. We come from Albany Anchorage, and Milwaukee To lead a rolling team All wanting the same creed Defending the faith Keep fighting forever. Fighting so hard. Fighting so long. Victory will be ours. Defending the faith. We'll never surrender. Fighting so hard. Fighting so long. Marching into the future. [woooah o woooahs] Now I'm a man. I'm playing in band. We drive around the world In our rental van We're coming to your town To help you party down But we'll be gone tommorrow night Because we'll never stop the fight Defending the faith Keep fighting forever. Fighting so hard. Fighting so long. Victory will be ours. Defending the faith. We'll never surrender. Fighting so hard. Fighting so long. victory will be ours. |
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3:06 |
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from Nerf Herder - American Cheese (2005)
High five anxiety, high five anxiety
Don't raise your hand Don't look at me High five anxiety, high five anxiety I'm not your bro and I'll never be Don't wanna play on your team in your game The last one picked Hey loser Hey loser that's my name Don't talk to me Don't talk to me Don't talk to me Don't talk to me Don't talk to me Walking down the street Can't figure out which side to pass on Left or right Can't merge on the freeway Don't know where to go When you see me there, please don't try to hug me Makin me cry Don't know how to deal with Did I say to much? Don't wanna play on your team in your game The last one picked Hey loser Hey loser that's my name Don't talk to me Don't talk to me Don't talk to me Don't talk to me Don't talk to me Don't want your hate Don't want your lies Don't want your high apple pies Don't want your hug Don't want you smooch Just stay away You fucking coon Don't talk to me Don't talk to me Don't talk to me |
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3:01 |
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from Nerf Herder - American Cheese (2005)
When you borrowed it that night
You wore my jacket for the last time The jacket used to be our history Now its only covered with your memory So much time I spent with you now All that's left are tears fallin' off your bed Marks made by your sleeping head Lipstick from a drunken kiss Ice Cream stains that now I miss I read the band names on the clothes GBH, Black Flag and Dr. Know I saw the Devo patch on your sleeve And you were in my jacket but you wernt with me So much time I spent with you now All that's left are tears fallin' off your bed Marks made by your sleeping head Lipstick from a drunken kiss Ice Cream stains that now I miss Blood from when you scraped your cheek The dirt from walking by the creek Coffee spilled on our first date I used to let you wear it in the rain So much time I spent with you now All that's left are tears fallin' off your bed Marks made by your sleeping head Lipstick from a drunken kiss Ice Cream stains that now I miss You used to wear it in the rain |
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3:07 |
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from Nerf Herder - American Cheese (2005)
there's a new leader of the land
with a platform that i understand i saw her face in the magazine she looks hot in her tight jeans keep marching on...a solider of love jenna bush army you can't stop her! jenna bush army she's got the brains and the looks that kill want to see her butt on a ten dollar bill ready your vote for her ballot box you've got to admit it she's a fox keep marching on soldier of love jenna bush army you can't stop her! jenna bush army i don't care who blows up the world i only care about that girl men of america storm the election when in doubt follow your erection call up your congressman and i say quote "sir i'm horny and i vote" come ye rally round the flag if you don't like her you must be a fag! jenna bush army, jenna bush army, jenna bush... |
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3:30 |
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from Nerf Herder - American Cheese (2005)
You want a guy who can bring the Bacon
And you want a guy with Savoir Faire Somebody who can take control of it Someone with cool black shiny hair (YEAH!) You don't want a boyfriend What you want is Mr. Spock To come to your wasteland And destroy the roh-oh-oh-oh-oh-bot Something more than human Someone with blood that's cold and green You want something better... than me Captain Kirk went to the planet *laser sound* And there he fought the man-lizard He saved the ship, invented the gunpowder But that's just not good enough for you, is it?! Noooooooo! You don't want a boyfriend What you want is Mr. Spock To come to your wasteland And destroy the roh-oh-oh-oh-oh-bot Something more than human Someone with blood that's cold and green You want something better than meeee..meeeee.... You sit all night at your computer Drinking Diet Dr. Pepper Looking for an answer to it all.... Say the words! Say the words! Say! Say! Say the words! You don't want a boyfriend What you want is Mr. Spock To come to your wasteland And destroy the roh-oh-oh-oh-oh-bot Something more than human Someone with blood that's cold and green You want something better than meeeee... meeeeee... than me! |
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2:47 |
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from Nerf Herder - American Cheese (2005)
nervous breakdown, come take me away
nervous breakdown, cafeteria today fell down on the floor, oh god I spilled my milk someone pull up my pants I think I need some help now I can't believe that I'm fallin no I can't believe I'm fallin again won't you visit me at the bottom yeah I'm fallin... gonna give the devil his dues nervous breakdown, doc what should I do? never fall in love with a girl from BYU she came in the record store and fell down in the stall those salt lake city girls paly kick ass basketball now I can't believe that I'm fallin no I can't believe I'm fallin again won't you visit me at the bottom yeah I'm fallin... gonna give the devil his dues put the needle down, put the needle down, etc.... |
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4:03 |
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from Nerf Herder - American Cheese (2005)
Well I met her at the Trocadero, In Philly
Backstage at the Bloohound show She said she was from Cherry Hill, Cherry Hill Through Lips like cherries in the snow New Jersey Girl, New Jersey Girl Come on and Rock my world New Jersey Girl, New Jersey Girl I wanna Love you New Jersey Girl, New Jersey Girl With your crazy fucked up hair New Jersey Girl, New Jersey Girl Your wicked awesome No she didn't talk to Charlie (our old bass player) And she didn't go off with Steve Not the cougar, not the cougar Yeah she took me up to the balcony Past Kenneth Keith Kallenback And gave a Yuengling to me New Jersey Girl, New Jersey Girl Come on and Rock my world New Jersey Girl, New Jersey Girl I wanna Love you New Jersey Girl, New Jersey Girl With your crazy fucked up hair New Jersey Girl, New Jersey Girl Your wicked awesome Her brother calls me blowjob When I call her on the phone He says, "Hey fuckwad, are you wacking it, are you wacking it?" "No, but is your sister home?" New Jersey Girl, New Jersey Girl Come on and Rock my world New Jersey Girl, New Jersey Girl I wanna Love you New Jersey Girl, New Jersey Girl With your crazy fucked up hair New Jersey Girl, New Jersey Girl Your wicked awesome La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la New Jersey Girl La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la New Jersey Girl |
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2:53 |
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from Nerf Herder - American Cheese (2005)
Going back in time
To another world Gonna find that place I'm gonna find that girl Don't wanna a hippy chick Or disco queen 'Just want the girl From the 1983 I wanna a new wave girl, I wanna a new wave girl, Oh, oh, I want a new wave girl, New wave girl, I want a new wave gi-i-irl, Oh, oh, I want a new wave girl Don't know what I'm gonna do, Without that girl from '82 Oh, oh, I want a new wave girl Club sigarets Heaven 17 Cool places tonight O.M.D. No I don't want My MTV 'Cause the real world I don't wanna see I wanna a new wave girl, I wanna a new wave gi-i-irl, Oh, oh, I want a new wave girl, New wave girl, I want a new wave gi-i-irl, Oh, oh, I want a new wave girl, I can't go on without her, God bless my Cindy Lauper Oh, oh, I want a new wave girl.. New wave girl (x7) Oooh! I wanna new wave girl, I wanna new wave girl, I wanna new wave girl, I wanna new wave gi-i-irl, I wanna new wave girl, I wanna new wave gi-i-irl, Oh, oh, I want a new wave girl New wave girl I wanna new wave gi-i-irl, Oh, oh, I want a new wave girl New wave girl I wanna new wave gi-i-irl, Oh, oh, I want a new wave girl New wave girl I wanna new wave gi-i-irl, Oh, oh, I want a new wave girl New wave girl (x4) |
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2:07 |
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from Nerf Herder - American Cheese (2005)
don't - stop - believin'
that you - can't - do nothin' get yourself second-hand guitar and set the world on fire any old axe will do anything but a squire rock city news you gotta pay your dues at the rock city news if you want to sing the blues liv-ing - on a wing - and prayer out - on the strip - nobody cares scabbing of the valley chick sleeping on the practice room the floor pretty soon the record company will be banging on your door rock city news you gotta pay your dues at the rock city news if you want to sing the blues - dave! rock city news you gotta pay your dues at the rock city news if you want to pay to lose like drinkin' booze you know it ain't no ruse put on your dancing shoes and stick an ad in the rock city news the rock city news ... |
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2:07 |
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from Nerf Herder - American Cheese (2005)
sitting in my boxers eating apple jacks
welcome to my world, welcome to my world whacking it to late night cinemax welcome to my world jagermeister and captain crunch nicotine and the brady bunch i'm building a boat out of pudding cups welcome to my world welcome to my world non-stop no-girl action without you this old shirt is starting to stink i don't give a damn what people think i can take a leak in the kitchen sink welcome to my world no you needn't shed a tear 'cause I've got waffles and I've got beer and i've got mr. belvedere welcome to my world welcome to my world non-stop no-girl action without you don't want to be here don't want to be here tonight can't stand another episode of cheers tonight i hate that woody i hate diane frasier and norm and that dumbass mailman! |
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2:59 |
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from Nerf Herder - How To Meet Girls (2005)
There must be 5000 ways to die
And each one ends the same way if you try Your friends all stand around while they dump you in the ground And the people who loved you will ask why, oh why, oh why, oh why And the bastard you hated the most Will stand up and give you a toast He'll say, "We were such good friends especially near the end" Then he'll feel up your girlfriend in front of your ghost So get in your car and drive real fast Up in the attic with a shotgun blast Take a bath with a clock radio Vodka and Valium overdose Have you ever tried? There must be 5000 ways to die And if you're very lucky You'll get your picture in the paper on page three 25 words will summarize how you spent your whole damn life One day on that page, next day into the hamster cage, cage So get in your car and drive real fast Up in the attic with a shotgun blast Take a bath with a clock radio Vodka and Valium overdose All the glamor can be yours with a loaded .44 Have you ever tried? There must be 5000 ways to die |
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2:47 |
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from Nerf Herder - How To Meet Girls (2005)
You came from some town out in the sticks
To become the modern Stevie Nicks You had the guts, a lot of ambition The riot grrrls thought you were bitchin' You bared your soul You showed us your hole Courtney Love don't throw it all away Courtney Love don't you go changin' Courtney Love Courtney Courtney Love I saw you in a movie about pornography You were looking pale and kind of saggy I have to say it made me woozy When you fucked Woody Harrelson in the jacuzzi You wore grungy clothes And doctors fixed your nose Courtney Love don't throw it all away Courtney Love don't you go changin' Courtney Love Courtney Courtney Love Now I'm overweight and ugly Just like you used to be Why can't I be like you Then we could drive away to Malibu I hope I'm not out of place but Courtney Love sit on my face Courtney Love don't throw it all away Courtney Love what about me I'm not gay Courtney Love Courtney Courtney Love Gold dust woman... Never break the chain |
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2:20 |
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from Nerf Herder - How To Meet Girls (2005)
Met a girl at the movies
She was so beautiful She was the one for me So I asked her if I could call her at home She said "No thanks just give me my popcorn" So I followed her into the theater And found a seat that was right behind her Smelled her hair, smelled her sweater And then I touched myself Feeling bad about myself again Feeling bad oh yeah Feeling bad about myself again today At the school, at the rock show At the rollercade, everywhere I go People are smiling It's always been the same They're wearin' groovy clothes Check me out I'm lame Paid for a membership down at the local gym Tired of getting dumped, let's get really pumped Thought I'd look like Henry Rollins But I still look like Phil Collins Feeling bad about myself again Girls ignore me in the chat room Feeling bad about myself again today We were in Paris We were up in the Eiffel Tower We were getting married and all our friends were there We made love underneath the Parisian moon But that was just a dream Just a dream Just a crazy dream Feeling bad about myself again Feeling bad oh yeah Feeling bad about myself again today Feeling bad about myself again First to be the last one picked first I'm feeling bad today |
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1:59 |
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from Nerf Herder - How To Meet Girls (2005)
I would hire the A-team
And I'd crash the General Lee I'd make cocktails like Tom Cruise And I'd roller blade with Corey Feldman for you I'd do anything for you Just about anything for you I'd do anything for you, for you I'd sing the whole soundtrack to Xanadu I'd dance like Kevin Bacon in Footloose I'd catch Pac-Man fever too I'd lose a case on The People's Court for you I'd do anything for you Just about anything for you I'd do anything for you, for you And I'd bid too high on The Price Is Right And I'd sweat to the oldies all night I'd be depressed like Morrissey And slayed by Buffy every week I would do anything for you I would fight the Karate Kid And I would get arrested on CHiPs And I'd get a Michael Bolton tattoo And I'd change my name to Kenny G for you I'd do anything for you Just about anything for you I'd do anything for you, for you |
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2:20 | 
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| from Nerf Herder - How To Meet Girls (2005) | |||||
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3:37 |
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from Nerf Herder - How To Meet Girls (2005)
How do I get through to a girl like you
Workin' at the pretzel station at the mall Beautiful lips like Strawberry Quick I saw your boyfriend he looks like a dick You won't check me out 'Cause I work in the back at the Radio Shack I won't be surprised if you don't call me tonight 'Cause I'm lamer than lame Uncool in every single way But your boyfriend makes you want to cry Don't you think its time you tried a different kind of guy How can even make you understand When I'm wearing the pants with the elastic waistband oh no Saw you on the bus laughing with your pretty friends I was in back with the retarded kids Tried to say hello at the high school dance Then I wet my pants I won't be surprised if you don't call me tonight 'Cause I'm lamer than lame Uncool in every single way But your boyfriend makes you want to cry Don't you think its time you tried a different kind of guy We could be happy I could be the one you're looking for I could get a haircut and I'd give up the video porn No need to explain why you didn't know my name 'Cause I'm lamer than lame Uncool in every single way But your boyfriend makes me want to cry Don't you think its time you tried a different kind of guy Lamer Lamer |
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3:42 |
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from Nerf Herder - How To Meet Girls (2005)
Is there life on Mars girl
If there is I'd like to go there Just like Elton John, the Rocketman He sure bought some fucked up clothes there I've heard it said that Outer space is not the kind of place to raise your kids But after my life so far here on Earth I sure wish my parents did I look up to the sky and I pray to the heavens Won't someone come and take me away Someone come and take me away to the stars, to the moon Please make it soon, oh yeah The aliens landed in Roswell And the government hid them so no one could see It happens every week on the X-Files So why can't it happen to me So yes, I might miss a couple friends And summer barbecues on the weekends Another 40,000 coming every day So take me away I've got nothing to lose Nike shoes, black jumpsuits, shaven heads and purple blankets Won't someone come and take me away Someone come and take me away To the stars, to the moon Please make it soon, oh yeah Beam me up Stray me down Probe my brain Cure my boredom Won't someone come and take me away Somehow come and take me away To the stars, to the moon Just make it soon Someone come and take me away Someone come and take me away |
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3:20 |
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from Nerf Herder - How To Meet Girls (2005)
I bleached my hair just like Vince Neil
Then you made me cut it like James Hetfield We're gonna put an end to alternative rock We'll find a way to make the Cranberries stop We went to Sears for pictures at Christmas time But they wouldn't let us make the metal sign No they wouldn't let us make the metal sign I'll bring the wine you bring the bread and cheese It's hard to eat when you're headbanging Makin' out in the middle of the pit How come Slayer doesn't sing about this If anything comes between you and me Then heavy metal heaven, that's where we'll meet We are Pantera fans in love What's with these punk rock nerds, they can't even sing I wish we'd never heard of the Offspring A candlelit dinner, now we're holding hands I taught you how to draw your first pentagram We went miniature golfing but we didn't get far Because we used the clubs to play air guitar Oh we used the clubs to play air guitar now I'll bring the wine you bring the bread and cheese It's hard to eat when you're headbanging Makin' out in the middle of the pit How come Slayer doesn't sing about this If anything comes between you and me Then heavy metal heaven, that's where we'll meet We are Pantera fans in love We are we are Pantera fans in love We saw Ozzy on our first date Our special song is 'Crazy Train' Makin' out in the middle of the pit How come Slayer doesn't sing about this If anything comes between you and me Then heavy metal heaven, that's where we'll meet We are Metallica fans We are Megadeth fans We are Manowar fans in love We are Pantera fans in love |
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2:38 |
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from Nerf Herder - How To Meet Girls (2005)
When you met me at the party you thought I was a nice guy
But you didn't have a clue at what was going on inside I ordered you a drink and asked you for a dance But all I really wanted was to smell your underpants I'm a pervert, a pervert Can't change the way I am I'm a pervert, a pervert Don't want to shake my hand That night you asked me over to watch Hollywood Squares You left me in your room, I left a stain on your teddy bear Can you see it in my eyes, can you see it in my smile? Can you see the way I imagine you doing doggystyle I'm a pervert, a pervert I've got sweaty palms I'm a pervert, a pervert It just goes on and on On and on, on and on, on and on, on and on You called me on the phone, said you wanted to talk But how could you have known what I was doing with my sock Say you want to be my girlfriend but will you love me anymore When you catch me with my polaroid outside the bathroom door I'm a pervert, a pervert Can't change the way I am A pervert, a pervert Don't want to shake my hand I'm a pervert, a pervert I've got sweaty palms A pervert, a pervert It just goes on and on On and on, on and on, on and on, on and on |
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3:20 |
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from Nerf Herder - How To Meet Girls (2005)
The whispers in the hall never bother her at all
Or the laughter from the boys in the gymnasium Frauline Mueller at the scratches on her arm And the German homework is late again, oh no She's a Sleestak... The neighbors are concerned about the bruises and the burns And the seaweed smell that comes in from the rain And there's something wrong with the Johnsons' lawn And someone says "Honey have you seen the cats today?" She's a Sleestak... |
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2:46 |
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from Nerf Herder - How To Meet Girls (2005)
Electronic drums and synthesizers
Angular haircuts and black eyeliner We'll start a new wave band And then I'll make you mine You'll play the keyboards And everything will be alright We'll show the Soc's We'll show the jocks We'll show the Heshers We can't be stopped Come on Vivian Put your glasses on Yeah, you've gone away to med school And I've gone out of my mind Flock of seagulls really busted out Haysi Fantayzee made all of the kids shout We've got a microphone and it's made out of plastic We've got a show tonight, it's gonna be classic We'll take on the world And MTV We'll rock the Math club Christmas party Come on Vivian Put your glasses on Yeah, you've gone away to med school And I've gone out of my mind Put 'em on, put 'em on Put 'em on, put 'em on Put 'em on, put 'em on Put 'em on Put 'em on, put 'em on Put 'em on, put 'em on Put 'em on, put 'em on Put 'em on Put 'em on, put 'em on Put 'em on, put 'em on Put 'em on, put 'em on Put 'em on Put 'em on, put 'em on Put 'em on, put 'em on Put 'em on, put 'em on Put 'em on Come on Vivian Put your glasses on Yeah, you've gone away to med school And I've gone out of my mind Come on Vivian Put your glasses on Yeah, you've gone away to med school And I've gone out of my mind |
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1:54 |
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| from Nerf Herder - My E.P. (2005) | |||||
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2:22 |
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from Nerf Herder - My E.P. (2005)
I know girls like you
Need someone to screw-up their life And make you contemplate suicide, When you need a friend to Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah Call on me... yeah You need someone bad, To irritate your dad, Someone who'll make you cry, And sock you in the eye, When you need a friend to Bring you to your knees, Call on me... yeah Am I crazy enough? Am I angry enough? Am I stupid enough? Am I lazy enough? Am I drunk enough? Do I flunk enough? Am I jealous enough? Am I selfish enough to be... Your bridge under troubled water, yeah! You like pain, you're insane You can key my car, And punch my face in the bar When you blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah Call me... oh yeah Am I crazy enough? Am I angry enough? Am I stupid enough? Am I lazy enough? Am I drunk enough? Do I flunk enough? Am I jealous enough? Am I selfish enough to be... Your bridge under troubled water, yeah! Am I boring enough? Am I snoring enough? Am I demanding enough? Un-outstanding enough? Am I fat enough? Mad enough? Am I bad enough? Wear plaid enough? Am I drunk enough? Smell like a skunk enough? Do I wank enough? Do crank enough to be... Your bridge under trouble Your bridge under trouble Your bridge under troubled water! |
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2:29 |
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from Nerf Herder - My E.P. (2005)
They put you down and call you crazy
Say "You're disgusting and uncool!" Just because you like to touch yourself Out by the public swimming pool You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate! You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate! You used to do it in the park But the powers that be didn't like it THey called you "pervert" and "criminal" Now you have to use a blanket You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate! You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate! You've got to fight! Pass the acorn butter! 7-11 two for a dollar! They say that you'll go blind And your ruining your health But how can anybody love anyone in this crazy world If you can't love yourself? You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate! You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate! You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate! You've gotta fight for your right to masturbate! You've gotta fight! Awww... |
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2:36 |
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from Nerf Herder - My E.P. (2005)
Don't bother going to class
'cause nobody cares if you cut. And it's not smart to experiment With Ben Gay on your nuts. If you ask her out and she says maybe What she really means is no way. And if you try to jerking off behind the back stop The team will be playin' that day. Oh YeAh! Chorus ----> These are the things I wish I knew... These are the things I wish I knew... in high school yeaaaah These are the thingggs I wish I knew in high school Don't call the head jock a fag Even if it's true, And don't hold out for that one special girl 'cause she'll never have sex with you. No Way! Chorus *guitar solo type thing* Don't let 'em see you cryin No matter how it hurts And nobody ever got laid 'cause they were wearing a Rush t-shirt Chorus |
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2:40 |
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from Nerf Herder - My E.P. (2005)
She works all day at the Burger King
Getting greasy for the dollars Promoted to fries but theres tears in her eyes Its not the grease or the pickles that upset her California, Hotel California California, Hotel California California, Hotel California You can't stab the beast A look of disgust on her pimple marked face No amount of mayonnaise can cover She frowns at the kill, char boiling on the grill Singing "death for no reason, death for no reason" It's murder... California, Hotel California California, Hotel California California, Hotel California She can't stand the heat She stabs it with her stealy knife but she just can't kill the beast California, Hotel California California, Hotel California |
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0:46 |
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from Nerf Herder - My E.P. (2005)
I wanna take you out for ice cream
I wanna take you out for ice cream I wanna take you out for ice cream And show you a real good time I wanna take you to the baseball game I wanna take you to the baseball game Buy you peanuts and crackerjacks And show you a real good time No I wont break into your apartment Hit you on the head with a chair Pull down my pants, take a dump on your rug And wave my dick in the air, NO!! I wanna take you out for ice cream I wanna take you out for ice cream I wanna take you out for ice cream And show you a real good time |
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1:38 |
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| from Nerf Herder - My E.P. (2005) | |||||
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2:38 |
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from Nerf Herder - My E.P. (2005)
Girl sometimes you're hungry,
You want something to eat You don't want no little salad yes you want a lot of meat You don't want no pastrami, And no corned beef on rye Girl there's only one kind of sandwich that's really gonna satisfy chorus: Love sandwich Love sandwich, uh huh Love sandwich Love sandwich, uh huh This ain't the kind of snack That you get from your mommy Your mommy ain't never seen such a whole lot of salami Girl I'm gonna take you on a superfantastic trip 'cause, baby you haven't had nothing til you've had my miracle whip (chorus) Yeah you, and me, and Steve makes three And Dave has got the video, Dave has got the video Yeah you, and me, and Steve makes three And Dave has got the video, Dave has got the Yeah you, and Steve, and Bernie makes three And Fernando and Mr. Belvedere in the hot tub, yeah! Girl sometimes you're hungry, You want something to eat You don't want no little salad yes you want a lot of meat Let me tell you 'bout The funky love sandwich Me and Steve are the bread And you're the meat, bitch! (chorus) Love sandwich, uh huh uh huh uh huh (4x) |
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from Nerf Herder - My E.P. (2005)
I know a girl, Nikki Webster
The cutest in the world, Nikki Webster Strawberry curls, Nikki Webster Yeah you're the tops of pops Nikki Webster So far away, across the sea Down in Australia, that's where she be At the movies, at the show Eating Hungry Jacks, on the radio She likes to ride her horse, Nikki Webster Swimming's her favorite sport, Nikki Webster She's only 3 foot 4, Nikki Webster What can I do? I love you! Nikki Webster Can I take you home? Lock you in a cage? Poke you with a stick, and feed you mayonnaise? Won't you jump around like a monkey in a zoo If I dress up like a clown, is it allright with you? Is it allright with you? We love you Nikki Webster! |
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from Nerf Herder - My E.P. (2005)
There's a place on Figueroa Street,
Where you can always go Smiling faces you might meet, Whoa-oa-oa, All Hail, The Sportsman Bar Whoa-oa-oa, All Hail, The Sportsman Bar The trophies on the mantel Are covered with dust, And the pretzels are from 1982 The soda from the bar Tastes just like rust, Nobody cares! All Hail The Sportsman Bar Whoa-oa-oa, All Hail, The Sportsman Bar There's Mike Green, He's fallen to his knees, He's mumbling 'bout the State Street rock and roll They took away the booths, But unless they take the roof We will see you again here tomorrow! Say a prayer for friends Who passed away, Say a prayer for the lurkers And the losers And to all you bastards That moved out of town, We'll see you at Thanksgiving At the Sportsman Bar Whoa-oa-oa, All Hail, The Sportsman Bar Ned's our man, With his Pabst Blue Ribbon can, Uh-oh, he's looking for a fight! He'll punch you in the face, But it's your kind of place So we'll see you again here tomorrow! Everybody's drunk! Everybody's drunk! Whoa-oa-oa, All Hail, The Sportsman Bar |
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from Nerf Herder - Nerf Herder (1996)
Wearing flash pants and her streetwalker shoes
Walkin' downtown with a pocket full of blues She's the one you want so much She's the one you can, you can never touch Here comes Annalee Annalee yeah, here comes Annalee Standing on the corner you see her cuttin' a deal Windows rolled down you can't believe she's for real She's the one it ain't no joke She's got lips ' lips just like Cherry Coke Here comes Annalee Annalee yeah, here comes Annalee |
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from Nerf Herder - Nerf Herder (1996)
Oh oh oh oh oh...
Oh oh oh oh oh... Oh oh oh oh oh... Oh oh oh oh ohhhh I saw her at the club, She was standing with a french girl Bonswashe Lepupe, Yea she had a beautiful smile And they met at face to face Went back to his place, She sat on his face And now its history, The rest is history, She sat on his face, And the rest is history That's why he cried, he lost, he lost everything That's why he cried, He lost it all He lost it all to Diana, Diana Part German, part Hispanic Diana, where did you go? I saw her downtown, She was hanging with the cougars, She was hanging out with Steve, And that was where she wanted to be, She was workin' at the place, Where they sell Real Parmesan Yea she's gone, oh so gone, That's why he cried, he lost, he lost everything, That's why he cried, He lost it all, He lost it all to Diana, Diana, Part German, part Hispanic Diana where did you gooooo? Oh oh oh oh oh... Oh oh oh oh oh... Oh oh oh oh oh... Oh oh oh oh ohhhh x3 |
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from Nerf Herder - Nerf Herder (1996)
Down on Haley, Haley Street
Where the drugs are easy and the sex is cheap You never know just who you'll meet on Haley Crack dealer looks out his door Winks his eye and waves to his whore She don't wanna turn tricks anymore on Haley You don't have to ride the straight and narrow As long as you drive up in a Camaro Tattoo parlor why don't you hang out Let 'em show you what it's all about We're gonna help you work it on out on Haley Don't need no license don't need no subpoena You can hook up with your favorite gina Makin' fun if you know what I mean on Haley You don't have to ride the straight and narrow As long as you drive up in a Camaro Goin down down ... on Haley (x4) |
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from Nerf Herder - Nerf Herder (1996)
Yeah she... she's just a girl
Yeah she's just a small town girl Livin' in a lonely world And she rides that midnight train goin' anywhere She's an easy mark Yeah he... he's just a boy Yeah he's a big city boy Born and raised in South Detroit And he catches that midnight train goin' anywhere He's an easy mark She lays down in the grass on Strawberry Hill He is there smelling like nicotine and peanut butter You gotta love her Yeah she... she gets up off the floor She says you can beat me all you want to But I don't love you anymore No I don't love you anymore And she rides that midnight train goin' anywhere She's an easy mark I hate this world, this stupid world, this screwed up world I hate this world, this fucking world |
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from Nerf Herder - Nerf Herder (1996)
I'm not the one you dream about and
I'm not the one you can't live without I'm not the one you want to see I'm not the one who you want to be seen with But when you're tired of all the jerks, and you're tired of all the work and you're tired of being hurt You will long for the comfort of my golfshirt I'm not the one who was an old time punk rocker I was listening to Rush and trying to feather my hair back when all that stuff went down I'm not the one who was in a high school hardcore band I sat in my room, scoring with Ms. Pac-Man But when you're tired of all the jerks, and you're tired of all the work and you're tired of being hurt You will long for the comfort of my golfshirt Yeah! No tats, no piercings No hats, no grung beard baby, yeah No tats, no piercings No hats, no grung beard baby, yeah Yeah, oh yeah |
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from Nerf Herder - Nerf Herder (1996)
I, I don't kill
And I don't murder Or manufacture atomic weapons. And I, don't eat meat And I, don't eat vegetables No-no-no! Cause I only eat candy I only eat sweets Yeah I only eat candy, my friend Yeah I, I only eat candy. And I, I don't believe No I don't believe in your corny old Jesus And I don't worship Satan No, not like Charlie and Steve No-no-no! Cause I only eat candy I only eat sweets Yeah I only eat candy my friend Yeah I, I only eat candy Yeah! I'm ANGRY Cause I only eat candy I only eat sweets Yes, I only eat candy my good friend O I, I only eat candy Yeah. The longest line |
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from Nerf Herder - Nerf Herder (1996)
I... I met a girl
She was standing on the dance floor of the club She was a very very pretty girl So I went up and talked to her And when you share your thoughts with someone you feel close to them Nosering girl I love you Nosering girl I want you I want you I want you Yeah she had pretty hair and beautiful eyes And a Dalmatian jacket (Dalmatian jacket) And she was the kind of girl who you would give up eating meat for No more salami No more steak or potatoes Yeah you would walk on down to the health food store And buy hummus and tabouli and babaganoush and ricecakes ricecakes ricecakes Nosering girl I love you Nosering girl I want you I want you I want you As it turns out, she was the cousin Of the ex-girlfriend of my good friend Steve my very good friend Steve But she didn't like me She said I was a drunkard, an alcoholic, a weirdo, a freak (freak) Nosering girl I love you Nosering girl I want you I want you I want you |
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from Nerf Herder - Nerf Herder (1996)
Sorry we broke up, sorry I missed you
Sorry I wanted only to kiss you Sorry I promised to love you forever Made you feel guilty oh when you left me Sorry I showed up at your party Sorry I drank up all the Bacardi Sorry I puked up on your bedspread Sorry I wanted to be your boyfriend again What can I do? It's over it's over it's over it's over What can I do? I am the loser Sorry I saw you and I heard birds sing Sorry I touched you and I heard bells ring Sorry I jacked off outside of your window While you were sleeping, I thought you'd never know Sorry I showed up at your wedding Sorry I tried so hard to get in Sorry I screwed up your picture Sorry I had sex with your sister What can I do? It's over, it's over, it's over, it's over What can I do? I am the loser Sorry we broke up, sorry I missed you Sorry I wanted only to kiss you Sorry I promised to love you forever Made you feel guilty oh when you left me Sorry I showed up at your dinner Sorry I said those things to your father Sorry I crashed through your window on acid Sorry I made a mess Sorry I bled to death What can I do? It's over it's over it's over it's over What can I do? I am the loser |
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from Nerf Herder - Nerf Herder (1996)
I bought Van Halen 1.
It was the best damn record I ever owned. TG&Y, 1978. Two hand tapping guitar technique, really got me off, eruption yah. Ain't talkin' bout' love. I'm on fire. Tomorrow may come, Tomorrow may never come again. Can't you hear Jamie cryin' She's runnin' with the devil. Oh lord, oh lord. I bought Women and Children First, Fair Warning, and Van Halen 2. Danced the night away. 1984, my favorite record yah, I wore it down. Might as well jump. Might as well jump. Tomorrow may come, Tomorrow may never come again. Can't you hear Jamie cryin' She's runnin' with the devil. Oh lord, oh lord. Is this what you wanted? Sammy Hagar. Sammy Hagar. Is this what you wanted, man? Dave lost his hair-line, but you lost your cool, buddy. Cant drive fifty-five. I'll never buy your lousy records again. Again, again, never again, never again, never again, never again, never again, never again, never again, never again, never again, never again, never again, never again, never again. NO NO NO!! Tomorrow may come, Tomorrow may never come again. Can't you hear Jamie cryin' She's runnin' with the devil. Oh lord, oh lord. Jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, might as well jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, might as well jump. |
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from Nerf Herder - Nerf Herder (1996)
Got a new job at a radio station
But that won't help you at all 40,000 watts of maximum rock But that won't help you at all You think you've got everything but I've got news for you You're gonna be the one who's sorry (x3) You got a new girlfriend, a bitchin' new girlfriend But she won't help you at all Certified with the scene, she's a local rock queen But that won't help you at all You think that you've got it made but you've made one mistake You're gonna be the one who's sorry (x3) The free paper calls you a local celebrity But that won't help you at all You're such a big big deal you get in the clubs for free But that won't help you at all You think you've got everything but I've got news for you You're gonna be the one who's sorry (x5) |
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