| ACTIVE: | 2000s - | | FORMED: | 2001년 / 미국,Berkeley, California | | DEBUT: | 2006년 / 싱글앨범 'Dick in a Box' | | MEMBERS: | | | STYLE: | | | MANIADB: | | |
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MAJOR SONGS
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3:14 |
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from The Lonely Island 1집 - Incredibad (2009)
(The following song is brought to you by Chex Mix)
Some dude once said
that love is a many funny things
I know there's a perfect girl out there for me,
'cause I see her in my dreams
Dream girl, you're a fantasy,
you're the only one
Out there for me
My love
Dream girl you amaze me, all dressed in paisley
Love how not one but both eyes are lazy
When I first saw you you were drivin' the bus
Thick skin, strong nose like a rhinoceros
Dream girl so beautiful, lips all crummy
Skin like asphalt, nose so runny
Thick thighs, no waist, not a care in the world
You not crazy girl, you just my baby girl
You're a vision in sweats with the neon patch
Half eaten squirrel hangin' outta your mouth
Rainbow poncho, the female Tonto
Hear a loud noise drop a bucket like a bronco
Dream girl, you're a fantasy,
you're the only one
Out there for me
My love
You got your cellphone ring set to Sex and the City
You like a hot bowl of grits only way more gritty
Straight drippin' in turquoise my Santa Fe queen
One short leg you got the Santa Fe Lean
It's music to my ears
when you scream in your sleep
And when you lift your skirt in public yo
I can't help but peek
You like Cleopatra with the eyes of a pig
Love to watch you in the backyard
when you go out to dig
Girl how'd you get those mouse traps glued
to your neck
Little rascal, how'd you get screwed to the deck?
You put away slurpees like a trash can
Your smile's all stainy and you're not too brainy
and I like that!
Talking to your shoe like it's your friend
I like that!
Yellin' at the walls of make pretend
I like that!
Tellin' you to stop it then you don't
You say you're gonna stab me in my sleep
But you won't!
Last week thought I saw you on the street
Turns out it was a bag of trash
Just a big ol' bag of trash
I thought you looked like a bag of trash
Dream girl I pitch a tent when you stomp in the room
Like a hellbound turkey mixed with a baboon
You're sexy
and you're spicy like a bowl of Chex Mix
And I always feel safe when I'm in your flesh mitts
Your teeth so clean coulda swore you were British
Never take your Chex Mix '
cause you always get skittish
Open clams with both feet
'cause you're ambidextrous
No point 'cause we know you eat nothin'
but Chex Mix
Chex Mix number one food snack in the land
It's the cereal taste that you eat with your hand
Chex Mix at your local grocer buy a box
Your family will all say
CHEX MIX ROCKS!
Chex Mix, you're the snack for me,
you're the only one
I'll ever eat or buy
Chex Mix, you're delicious,
you got 60% less fat than potato chips
TM
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2:32 |
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from The Lonely Island - Jizz In My Pants [Explicit] [single] (2008)
Lock eyes from across the room
건너편에서 마주친 눈
down my drink while the rhythms boom
음악이 흐르며 들어가는 음료
take your hand and skip the names
손을 잡고 이름은 생략하고
no need here for the silly games
장난 같은 것들은 필요하지 않아
make our way through the smoke and crowd
사람과 안개를 지나가며
the club is the sky and I’m on your cloud
클럽은 하늘이고 나는 네 구름에 있고
move in close as the lasers fly
레이져가 쏘아 다니는 새에 가까워지고
our bodies touch and the angels cry
우리 몸이 부딪히며 천사들이 우네
leave this place go back to yours
여기를 떠나 네 곳으로 가
our lips first touch outside your doors
네 문 밖에서 입술끼리 맞 닿고
a whole night what we’ve got in store
우리 앞엔 밤이 있지
whisper in my ear that you want some more
내 귀에 더 달라고 속삭이는 너
and I
그리고 난
JIZZ IN MY PANTS
바지에 싸버렸어
This really never happens you can take my word
이런 일은 절대로 일어나지 않아 날 믿어
I won’t apologize, that’s just absurd
사과하면 더 어이 없겠지
Mainly your fault from the way that you dance
사실 그렇게 춤추는 네 탓이야
and now I
그리고 난
JIZZ IN MY PANTS
바지에 싸버렸어
don’t tell your friends or I’ll say your a slut
친구들한테 말하면 창녀라고 말한다
plus its your fault, you were rubbing my butt
그리고 네 탓이야 내 엉덩이를 만졌는걸
I’m very sensitive, some would say that’s a plus
난 엄청 민감해 그게 낫단 사람도 있지
Now I’ll go home and change
인제 갈아 입으러 갈게
I need a few things from the grocery
장보러 갈게 좀 생겼어
do things alone now mostly
요샌 혼자서 뭐든지 다하고 있지
left me heart broken not lookin’ for love
부서진 내 가슴 사랑을 찾지 않고
surprised in my eyes when I looked above
올려다보니 놀라고 말았어
the check out counter and I saw her face
계산대에서 누군갈 봤어
My heart stood still so did time and space
심장이 굳고 우주와 시간도 굳었어
Never felt that I could feel real again
다시 진실함을 느낄줄은 몰랐어
But the look in her eyes said I need a friend
그치만 그녀의 눈은 친구가 필요하다고 말했어
She turned to me that’s when she said it
나한테 돌아보며 그녀는 말했어
Looked me dead in the face, asked “Cash or Credit?”
조용히 바라보며 '카드 아니면 현금?'이라고 묻는 너
And I
그리고 난
JIZZED IN MY PANTS
바지에 싸버렸어
It’s perfectly normal, nothing wrong with me
상당히 정상적인 일이지 나한테 문제는 없어
But we’re going to need a clean up on aisle 3
그치만 3번 계산대를 치워야겠는걸
And now I’m posed in an awkward stance
어색한 포즈로 서있는 나
because I
왜냐면
JIZZED IN MY PANTS
바지에 싸버렸어
To be fair you were flirting a lot
사실은 네가 희롱을 한거잖아
plus the way you bag cans got me bothered and hot
더구나 캔을 넣는 모습이 날 흥분시켰어
please stop acting like you’re not impressed
관심 없단 표정 같은거 짓지마
One more thing, I’m gonna pay by check
하나만 더, 수표로 낼게
Last week - I saw a film
지난 주- 영화를 봤어
As I recall it was a horror film
생각해보니 호러 영화였어
Walked outside into the rain
비가 오는 밖으로 걸어갔어
Checked my phone and saw you rang and I
전화기를 보니 네가 전화를 걸었어그리고 난
JIZZED IN MY PANTS
바지에 싸버렸어
Speeding down the street when the red lights flash
빨간불이 깜빡일 때 도로를 가로질러
need to get away need to make a dash
도망쳐야해 빨리 나와야해
A song comes on that reminds me of you and I
네 생각이 나는 음악이 흘러나와 그리고 난
JIZZ IN MY PANTS
바지에 싸버렸어
The next day my alarm goes off and I
다음 날 알람이 울려 그리고 난
JIZZ IN MY PANTS
바지에 싸버렸어
Open my window and a breeze rolls in and I
창문을 여니 바람이 들어와 그리고 난
JIZZ IN MY PANTS
바지에 싸버렸어
When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of sixth sense I
브루스 윌리스가 식스 센스 마지막 부분에서 죽었을 때 난
JIZZED IN MY PANTS
바지에 싸버렸어
I just ate a grape and I
방금 포도를 먹었어 그리고 난
JIZZED…IN…MY PANTS
바지에 싸버렸어
JIZZED…IN…MY PANTS
바지에 싸버렸어
Ok seriously you guys can we…ok…
얌마들아... 좀 진지해져봐라... 응..
I JIZZ RIGHT IN MY PANTS EVERY TIME YOU’RE NEXT TO ME
네가 내 옆에 있으면 난 언제나 싸버려
AND WHEN WE’RE HOLDING HANDS ITS LIKE HAVING SEX TO ME
손을 잡고 있을땐 섹스 하는 것 같아
YOU SAY IM PREMATURE I JUST CALL IT ECSTASY
넌 내가 조루하다하지만 난 그냥 환희이라고 해
I WEAR A RUBBER AT ALL TIMES ITS A NECESSITY
꼭 필요하니까 언제나 고무[콘돔]를 끼고 있어
'Cause I
왜냐면 나
JIZZ…IN…MY PANTS
바지에 싸버려
yes I
그래 나
JIZZ…IN…MY PANTS
바지에 싸버려
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1:17 |
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from The Lonely Island 1집 - Incredibad (2009)
(Spoken) Hey yo, check this out. I was just at the club right, heard these two dudes talking, one of them said to the other one, that they knew someone, who said you guys are wack!
(Who said we're wack?)
You said we're wack?
You take it back!
(Who said we're wack?)
You talkin' smack?
You gonna get smacked.
(You're sayin' that we're wack but it just ain't so.)
Someone said we're wack!
Why would they say that?
I don't think we're wack.
Who said we're wack?
Who said we're wack?
I can't believe that.
They must be smoking crack,
To say that we're wack.
Say that we're wack?
You'll probably get smacked.
If you say we're wack.
Did you say we're wack?
(Who said we're wack?)
I'll paint your eye black,
Once I check my facts.
(Who said we're wack?)
How could a person up and call a person wack?
How could the devil turn the blue sky black?
How many babies born will ever reach their dreams?
And how could a person call another person wack?
Heard a rumor, that someone said we're wack.
I think that it's wack, to call someone wack.
I am not wack, no matter what you say,
What did you say? Did you say I'm wack?
All the ladies in the house put your hands up!
All the fellas in the house put your hands up!
Now whoever said we're wack put your hand up!
Now everyone else put your hands down!
(Spoken) Oh, there he is, there he is.
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2:35 |
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from The Lonely Island 1집 - Incredibad (2009)
What is that, Cristal? (No!)
Dom P? (Hell no!)
(This is that Carlos Santana champagne!)
Oh shit, Santana DVX? That's my joint!
(Mine too, but a lot of these busters don't know about it)
WELL LET'S TELL THESE MOTHERFUCKERS~!
As a kid, I used to lay awake and think
When was Santana gonna make a drink?
But now I'm all grown and my dream came true
Santana champagne, from here to you
From the heart of Napa Valley and the guitar king
Comes a sparkling wine, to make a blind man sing
Yo it's the cham-pan-yah, from the man with the bandana
I can't stand a flute with anything but Santana
What's the first name in cham - it's Carlos
And to that man I propose a toast
In the 60's, he had lots of freebie sex
But now he's gettin down with the DVX
Excuse me fellas!
Am I to understand that Carlos Santana has made a champagne?
(That's right motherfucker! Here, try it)
Alright [pops bottle] AWWWWWWWWW SHIT~!
I feel alive for the first time
Each sip hits my lips like a landmine
Without Carlos in my life I was livin a lie
He makes his guitar weep, but his champagne cries
He's a Southwest, tie wearin bolo champ
Comin straight out the box with a bolo champ'
Yo he a beast with the sugar and yeast, mix it in pots
Like the way his release mixed jazz blues and pops
And the salsa fusion, he's lady's shoe producin
Plus he teamed with Rob Thomas for a music revolution
On the 7th day, it was said God rest
But on the 8th day he made the DVX
Gentlemen, gentlemen, what is all the hubbub about?
(Carlos Santana!) That's right
I see bitches-is enjoyin my sparkling wine
(We certainly are) Well be careful
cause this shit'll get you fucked up
Bitch!
I'm like no other, one of a kind, my sparkling wine
Santana DVX make you wanna have sex (OOOOH)
I'm rich bitch! I'm havin my chips
Get laid all the time, by 70's chicks - uhh
Won hella Grammies, batches throw me they panties
I'm probably your daddy, I probably nutted in your mammy
I'm a Bay boy, city life, been around the corner
Try to play me foul and my vatos gon' run up on ya
A legend, a boss, that's what I are
Ask about me pimp, 'tana be killin the guitar
Old enough to know better but young enough to not care
I get active - might slap a bitch with my hair (WHIP)
Left coast up top I bang that shit
My sparkling wine'll pop Cristal on her lip
Cain't stop, won't stop gettin my bread
Pack arenas and coliseums now watch me shred
Ohhhh, San-tan-tan-tan-ahhhh
A monkey drank a bottle and learned to speak
A queer drank a bottle and became a freak
A lion drank a bottle and forgot how to growl
A horse drank a bottle, and fucked a cow~!
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2:31 |
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from The Lonely Island 1집 - Incredibad (2009)
Lock eyes from across the room
건너편에서 마주친 눈
down my drink while the rhythms boom
음악이 흐르며 들어가는 음료
take your hand and skip the names
손을 잡고 이름은 생략하고
no need here for the silly games
장난 같은 것들은 필요하지 않아
make our way through the smoke and crowd
사람과 안개를 지나가며
the club is the sky and I’m on your cloud
클럽은 하늘이고 나는 네 구름에 있고
move in close as the lasers fly
레이져가 쏘아 다니는 새에 가까워지고
our bodies touch and the angels cry
우리 몸이 부딪히며 천사들이 우네
leave this place go back to yours
여기를 떠나 네 곳으로 가
our lips first touch outside your doors
네 문 밖에서 입술끼리 맞 닿고
a whole night what we’ve got in store
우리 앞엔 밤이 있지
whisper in my ear that you want some more
내 귀에 더 달라고 속삭이는 너
and I
그리고 난
JIZZ IN MY PANTS
바지에 싸버렸어
This really never happens you can take my word
이런 일은 절대로 일어나지 않아 날 믿어
I won’t apologize, that’s just absurd
사과하면 더 어이 없겠지
Mainly your fault from the way that you dance
사실 그렇게 춤추는 네 탓이야
and now I
그리고 난
JIZZ IN MY PANTS
바지에 싸버렸어
don’t tell your friends or I’ll say your a slut
친구들한테 말하면 창녀라고 말한다
plus its your fault, you were rubbing my butt
그리고 네 탓이야 내 엉덩이를 만졌는걸
I’m very sensitive, some would say that’s a plus
난 엄청 민감해 그게 낫단 사람도 있지
Now I’ll go home and change
인제 갈아 입으러 갈게
I need a few things from the grocery
장보러 갈게 좀 생겼어
do things alone now mostly
요샌 혼자서 뭐든지 다하고 있지
left me heart broken not lookin’ for love
부서진 내 가슴 사랑을 찾지 않고
surprised in my eyes when I looked above
올려다보니 놀라고 말았어
the check out counter and I saw her face
계산대에서 누군갈 봤어
My heart stood still so did time and space
심장이 굳고 우주와 시간도 굳었어
Never felt that I could feel real again
다시 진실함을 느낄줄은 몰랐어
But the look in her eyes said I need a friend
그치만 그녀의 눈은 친구가 필요하다고 말했어
She turned to me that’s when she said it
나한테 돌아보며 그녀는 말했어
Looked me dead in the face, asked “Cash or Credit?”
조용히 바라보며 '카드 아니면 현금?'이라고 묻는 너
And I
그리고 난
JIZZED IN MY PANTS
바지에 싸버렸어
It’s perfectly normal, nothing wrong with me
상당히 정상적인 일이지 나한테 문제는 없어
But we’re going to need a clean up on aisle 3
그치만 3번 계산대를 치워야겠는걸
And now I’m posed in an awkward stance
어색한 포즈로 서있는 나
because I
왜냐면
JIZZED IN MY PANTS
바지에 싸버렸어
To be fair you were flirting a lot
사실은 네가 희롱을 한거잖아
plus the way you bag cans got me bothered and hot
더구나 캔을 넣는 모습이 날 흥분시켰어
please stop acting like you’re not impressed
관심 없단 표정 같은거 짓지마
One more thing, I’m gonna pay by check
하나만 더, 수표로 낼게
Last week - I saw a film
지난 주- 영화를 봤어
As I recall it was a horror film
생각해보니 호러 영화였어
Walked outside into the rain
비가 오는 밖으로 걸어갔어
Checked my phone and saw you rang and I
전화기를 보니 네가 전화를 걸었어그리고 난
JIZZED IN MY PANTS
바지에 싸버렸어
Speeding down the street when the red lights flash
빨간불이 깜빡일 때 도로를 가로질러
need to get away need to make a dash
도망쳐야해 빨리 나와야해
A song comes on that reminds me of you and I
네 생각이 나는 음악이 흘러나와 그리고 난
JIZZ IN MY PANTS
바지에 싸버렸어
The next day my alarm goes off and I
다음 날 알람이 울려 그리고 난
JIZZ IN MY PANTS
바지에 싸버렸어
Open my window and a breeze rolls in and I
창문을 여니 바람이 들어와 그리고 난
JIZZ IN MY PANTS
바지에 싸버렸어
When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of sixth sense I
브루스 윌리스가 식스 센스 마지막 부분에서 죽었을 때 난
JIZZED IN MY PANTS
바지에 싸버렸어
I just ate a grape and I
방금 포도를 먹었어 그리고 난
JIZZED…IN…MY PANTS
바지에 싸버렸어
JIZZED…IN…MY PANTS
바지에 싸버렸어
Ok seriously you guys can we…ok…
얌마들아... 좀 진지해져봐라... 응..
I JIZZ RIGHT IN MY PANTS EVERY TIME YOU’RE NEXT TO ME
네가 내 옆에 있으면 난 언제나 싸버려
AND WHEN WE’RE HOLDING HANDS ITS LIKE HAVING SEX TO ME
손을 잡고 있을땐 섹스 하는 것 같아
YOU SAY IM PREMATURE I JUST CALL IT ECSTASY
넌 내가 조루하다하지만 난 그냥 환희이라고 해
I WEAR A RUBBER AT ALL TIMES ITS A NECESSITY
꼭 필요하니까 언제나 고무[콘돔]를 끼고 있어
'Cause I
왜냐면 나
JIZZ…IN…MY PANTS
바지에 싸버려
yes I
그래 나
JIZZ…IN…MY PANTS
바지에 싸버려
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2:36 |
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from The Lonely Island 1집 - Incredibad (2009)
Shorty
Aww shit get your towels ready
it's about to go down
Everybody in the
place hit the fucking deck
But stay on your
motherfucking toes
We running this
let's go
I'm on a boat
I'm on a boat
Everybody look at me
cause I'm sailing on a boat
I'm on a boat
I'm on a boat
Take a good hard
look at the motherfucking boat
I'm on a boat motherfucker
take a look at me
Straight floating on a
boat on the deep blue sea
Busting five knots
wind whipping out my coat
You can't stop me motherfucker
cause I'm on a boat
Take a picture trick
I'm on a boat bitch
We drinking Santana champ
Cause it's so crisp
I got my swim trunks
And my flippie floppies
I'm flipping burgers
you at Kinko's
Straight flipping copies
I'm riding on a dolphin
doing flips and shit
The dolphin's splashing
getting everybody all wet
But this ain't Seaworld
this is real as it gets
I'm on a boat motherfucker
don't you ever forget
I'm on a boat and
It's going fast and
I got a nautical themed
pashmina afghan
I'm the king of the world
On a boat like Leo
If you're on the shore
then you're sure not me oh
Get the fuck up
this boat is REAL
Fuck land
I'm on a boat motherfucker
Fuck trees
I climb buoys motherfucker
I'm on the deck with my boys
motherfucker
This boat engine make noise
motherfucker
Hey ma if you could see me now
Arms spread wide on the
starboard bow
Gonna fly this boat
to the moon somehow
Like Kevin Garnett
anything is possible
Yeah never thought I'd be on a boat
It's a big blue watery road
Poseidon
Look at me oh
Never thought I'd see the day
When a big boat coming my way
Believe me when I say
I fucked a mermaid
I'm on a boat
I'm on a boat
Everybody look at me cause
I'm sailing on a boat
I'm on a boat
I'm on a boat
Take a good hard look at the
mothafuckin' boat
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2:07 |
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from The Lonely Island 1집 - Incredibad (2009)
Well, he was the Sax Man from the state of Tennessee
First set in with the band at the ripe old age of three, weeks old
And when he blew into that horn all the people gathered 'round
Club manager jumped right up and said, "Boy, I gotta have that sound!"
Scream "Hallelujah Lord!", I said the Sax Man's got my soul
Everybody gotta move their feet when the Sax Man started to blow
Now blow it Sax Man!
* (weak saxophone noises)
Nnnn, 'kay, he's a little shy, but his genius cannot hide
Cause when the Sax Man starts to win he gonna take you on a ride
Take it Sax Man!
*
Ow! Take it Sax Man!
He'll be right with you folks!
*
All right, Sax Man, that's my fault, I put you on the spot
But now you're all warmed up and this-a next one's gonna be hot
Kick it Sax Man!
(Come on!)
*
(What the fuck are you doing?!)
*
Haha, okay! Why don't we have a little inspiration now. You know this game, Sax Man!
Repeat after me, here we go, and!
Shibidi bop bop buda bop bop
*
Bip bip bipbip bip bip bipbip bip
*
Aridididi bop bududidadi
Fuckin' play something, Sax Man!
*
Okay, move it on!
Sax Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan,
Sax Man!
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2:20 |
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from The Lonely Island 1집 - Incredibad (2009)
Andy: Lazy Sunday, wake up in the late afternoon, call Parnell just to see how he's doin.
Chris: Hello?
Andy: What up, Parns?
Chris: Yo, Samberg, what's crackin'?
Andy: You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
Both: Narnia!
Andy: Man, it's happenin'.
Chris: But first my hunger pangs are stickin like duct tape.
Andy: Let's hit up Magnolia and mack on some cupcakes.
Chris: No doubt, that bakery's got all the bomb frostings.
Andy: I love those cupcakes like McAdams loves Gossling.
Chris: Two!
Andy: No, six!
Chris: No, twelve!
Both: Bakers' dozen!
Andy: I told you that I'm crazy for these cupcakes, cousin!
Chris: Yo, where's the movie playin'?
Andy: Up on west side, dude!
Chris: Well let's hit up Yahoo Maps to find the dopest route!
Andy: I prefer MapQuest.
Chris: That's a good one too.
Andy: Google maps is the best!
Chris: True that.
Both: Double true!
Andy: Yo, 68th to Broadway.
Chris: Step on it, sucka!
Andy: Whatcha wanna do Chris?
Both: Snack attack, muthafucka!
Both: The Chronic(what?)cles of Narnia.
Yes, the chronic(what?)cles of Narnia.
We love the chronic(what?)cles of Narnia.
Pass the chronic(what?)cles of Narnia.
Andy: Yo, stop at the deli, the theater's overpriced.
Chris: You got the back pack?
Andy: Gonna pack it up nice.
Chris: Don't want security to get suspicious!
Andy: Mr.Pibb and Red Vines equals crazy delicious!
Chris: Yo, reach in my pocket, pull out some dough.
Andy: Girl acted like she'd never seen a ten befo'.
Both: It's all about the Hamiltons, baby.
Andy: Throw the snacks in the bag,
Chris: And I'm a ghost like Swayze.
Chris: Roll up to the theater,
Andy: Ticket buyin', what we're handlin'
Chris: You can call us Aaron Burr,
Both: From the way we're droppin' Hamiltons.
Chris: Now parked in our seats, movie trivia's da illest.
Andy: Whose "Friends" alum starred in films with Bruce Willis?
Chris: We answered so fast it was scary.
Andy: Everyone stared in awe when we screamed
Both: Matthew Perry!
Andy: Now quiet in the theater or it's gonna get tragic.
Chris: We're about to get taken to a dream world of magic.
Both: The Chronic(what?)cles of Narnia
Yes, the chronic(what?)cles of Narnia
We love the chronic(what?)cles of Narnia
Pass the chronic(what?)cles of Narnia
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1:04 |
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from The Lonely Island 1집 - Incredibad (2009)
Hey, what's up, man?
Ah, not much, you?
Hey, are you ready for the party tonight?
Yeah man, I already got a case of Santana champagne, so... Should be good.
Oh, nice. Yeah, that's good champagne.
Hello!
Oh, shit.
Oh no. This guy's a real -
Oh man, don't make eye contact.
Ding dong, Normal Guy in the house!
Hey, man.
Hey.
Ah, it's great seeing you other normal guys!
Oh yeah.
Uh huh.
What're you guys up to?
Uh, not much.
Nothing.
Hey what are you other normal guys up to?
Seriously, nothing, we're just hanging out.
Do you guys know what I hate?
What?
Hanging out with a weirdo!
Oh my god.
Yeah.
Hanging out with some loser weirdo!
Yeah, we -
It's my biggest peeve!
Yeah, well, I was just actually -
It's like they don't even know where we're coming from!
Right, we understand.
I can't take it when some weirdo shows up unannounced!
Okay, well I gotta get going.
There's nothing wrong with any of us!
You guys can keep talking.
Okay, man, we got -
None of us have any major problems!
Oh, man. This guy.
Yeah we -
Hey let's make a pact!
What?
Let's make a suicide pact!
Uh...
No, that's crazy.
I'll go first.
And the award for Best Comedy Sketch goes to... The Lonely Island
(Who said we're wack? You said we're wack? You take it back!)
Ah, thank you, thank you very much!
(Who said we're wack? You talkin smack? You're gonna get smacked!)
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3:13 |
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from The Lonely Island 1집 - Incredibad (2009)
[The Lonely Island]
Imagine in your mind a posh country club
The stuffy old money where the poor get snubbed
The spread is bland sauerkraut and boiled goose
There's no way these people will ever cut loose
But then I walk in the room, hold my boombox high
And what happened next, will blow your mind
[Julian Casablancas]
Everything got outta control
The music was so entrancing
Everyone got out on the floor
It was a bunch of old white people dancing
[The Lonely Island]
Now picture if you will a bunch of business men
Stuffed in the boardroom like pigs in a pen
The ties around their necks are
like a hangman's noose
In the middle of the table there's a boiled goose
The old people smell makes you
want to puke in the sink
These dudes will never dance,
yeah that's what you think
I stride in the room all young and hip
Hold up my boombox and say listen to this
[Julian Casablancas]
Then everyone started to move
People rejoiced instead of financing
Your preconceived notions were shattered
By these super old white people dancing
[The Lonely Island]
The Big Apple, where people never dance
Spirits go down while profits expand
The cops or the dealers, who's got the juice
The street benders peddling their boiled goose
So many types of people will never get along
Till I bust out my boombox and play this song
[Julian Casablancas]
The music washed away all the hate
And society started advancing
Every demographic was represented
It was a rainbow coalition of dancing
Whoa !
Everyone was wearing fingerless gloves
Whoaaaaaoaaaaaoh !
I saw a Spanish guy doing the Bartman
[The Lonely Island]
Transport now to an old folks home
Where the elderly are tossed on their brittle bones
The orderlies are stealing, there's no excuse
Everyday for lunch they eat boiled goose
So I grabbed my boombox and hit the turbo base
And what happened next was a total disgrace
[Julian Casablancas]
Everybody started having sex
The music was way too powerful
A bunch of old people fucking like rabbits
It was disgusting to say the least
Oh!
A boombox can change the world
You gotta know your limits with a boombox
This was a cautionary tale
A boombox is not a toy
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0:34 |
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from The Lonely Island 1집 - Incredibad (2009)
I'm on a shrooms (Yeah)
I'm on a shrooms (Yeah)
I'm on a shrooms (Yeah)
I'm on a shrooms
La La La La La La La La La La La La La
La La La La La La La La La La La La La
I'm on a shrooms
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1:47 |
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from The Lonely Island 1집 - Incredibad (2009)
Mr. Samberg, thanks for coming to your performance review.
No problem.
So you're in charge around here, is that fair to say?
Absolutely, I'm the boss.
Well, so take us through a day in the life of, "The Boss".
Well the first thing I do is--
Talk to corporate (like a boss)
Approve memos (like a boss)
Lead a workshop (like a boss)
Remember birthdays (like a boss)
Direct work-flow (like a boss)
My own bathroom (like a boss)
Micro-manage (like a boss)
Promote synergy (like a boss)
Hit on Deborah (like a boss)
Get rejected (like a boss)
Swallow sadness (like a boss)
Send some faxes (like a boss)
Call a sex line (like a boss)
Cry deeply (like a boss)
Demand a refund (like a boss)
Eat a bagel (like a boss)
Harassment Lawsuit (like a boss)
No Promotion (like a boss)
5th of vodka (like a boss)
Shit on Deborah's desk (like a boss)
Buy a gun (like a boss)
In my mouth (like a boss)
Oh fuck man, I can't fucking do it, shit!
Pussy out (like a boss)
Puke on Deborah's desk (like a boss)
Jump out the windows (like a boss)
Suck a dude's dick (like a boss)
Score some coke (like a boss)
Crash my car (like a boss)
Suck my own dick (like a boss)
Eat some chicken strips (like a boss)
Chop my balls off (like a boss)
Black out in the sewer (like a boss)
Meet a giant fish (like a boss)
Fuck his brains out (like a boss)
Turn into a jet (like a boss)
Bomb the Russians (like a boss)
Crash into the Sun (like a boss)
Now I'm dead (like a boss)
Uh huh. So that's an... average day for you then.
No doubt.
You chopped your balls off and died.
Hell yeah.
And I think at one point there you said something about sucking your own dick?
Nope.
Actually, I'm pretty sure you did.
Nah, that ain't me.
OK, well this has been eye-opening for me.
I'm the boss.
Ya, I know, I got that. You said it about 400 times.
I'm the boss.
Ya, ya, I got it.
I'm the boss.
No, I heard you, see you later!
(like a boss)
(보스처럼)
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2:04 |
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from The Lonely Island 1집 - Incredibad (2009)
hello
hi, do you want to go to a party with me?
no, games on.
oh, i almost forgot,i'll be right there
we like sports and we dont care who knows
from shooting hoops to the super bowl
we like sports and we dont care who knows
football, football, football
tennis
hockey
golf
the game is starting, everyone is here, i got my snacks, my friends, and a beer
just 2 normal guys, hanging out, having fun
right guy number 2,yeah guy number 1
E to the S to the P to the N
is all i watch cause im the man
if my team loses, i'll be mean all night, if you tell me to relax, we'll get in a fight
watching sports with girls is a pain, they dont know the rules, theres no time to explain
single, double, triple, home run
before the celebration, i'll shoot my gun
i like my friend, hes a real guys guy
hes not a loud mouth, like that cunt hole Steve
we like sports and we dont care who knows
from Wimbledon to the Astrodome
we like sports and we dont care who knows
football, football, football
tennis
hockey
golf
now when i say SPORTZ, you say NUTZ
SPORTZ
NUTZ
SPORTZ
NUTZ
when i say CHEATING, you say SUX
CHEATING
SUX
CHEATING
SUX
i drink whiskey cause i like the taste, you think its bitter, but i think its great
i also drink whiskey and we smoke cigars
dont believe me? smell our cars
we're real men, and we like sportz, if you say that we're not, then we'll see you in court
im team captain and i chose you
im the other team captain and i chose you too
we steal the ball and we're off to the races
we scare the other team with our mad dog faces like
what what what what what what
what what what what what what
we like sports and we dont care who knows
from the pre game jokes to the wrap up show
we like sports and we dont care who knows
football, football, football
tennis
hockey
golf
throw me the baseball
now toss me the big skin
now feed me the rock
now give me the rock
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2:41 |
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from The Lonely Island - Dick In A Box [single] (2006)
Hey girl I got somethin` real important to give you
So just sit down and listen
Girl you know we`ve been together
such a long long time
(such a long time)
And now I`m ready to lay it on the line
(Wooow)
You know it`s Christmas
and my heart is open wide
Gonna give you something
so you know what`s on my mind
A gift real special, so take off the top
Take a look inside
it`s my dick in a box
Not gonna get you a diamond ring
That sort of gift don`t mean anything
Not gonna get you a fancy car
Girl ya gotta know you`re my shining star
Not gonna get you a house in the hills
A girl like you needs somethin` real
Wanna get you somethin` from the heart
Somethin` special girl
It`s my dick in a box,
my dick in a box babe
It`s my dick in a box,
my dick in a box girl
See I`m wise enough to know
when a gift needs givin` (yeah)
And I got just the one,
somethin` to show ya that you are second to none
To all the fellas out there with ladies to impress
It`s easy to do just follow these steps
1: Cut a hole in a box
2: Put your junk in that box
3: Make her open the box
And that`s the way you do it
It`s my dick in a box...
my dick in a box babe
It`s my dick in a box,
my dick in a box girl
Christmas; dick in a box
Hanukkah; dick in a box
Kwanzaa; a dick in a box
Every single holiday a dick in a box
Over at your parent`s house a dick in a box
Mid day at the grocery store a dick in a box
Backstage at the CMA`s a dick in a box
(yeah-wow-wow-wow-wow-wow)
a dick in a box..
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2:05 |
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from The Lonely Island 1집 - Incredibad (2009)
Jah!
Rastafarianism
Yes I, Ras Trent
Ba da ding ding ding ding whoa
Who dem?
You no want test me champion sound
Oh fire pon Babylon
And fire pon a batty boy
Rude boy livin in the shanty dorms
My roommate Nick is an ignorant bald head
Now chant down Babylon midterm essays
Then puff from de chalice I fi make from a Sprite can
Last week I read a book about Selassie I
Then told my bomboclat parents I was switching religions
Excuse I
Oh hot stepper, you do so many dutty crimes
Nyabinghi
And plus you're fully skylarking all the time
Oodah look ya now
Have you ever noticed how bald heads suck?
Ba da da ding ding ding ding dong dang ding dong duck
Excuse I for my skanking, give thanks and praise
Me toil part time at jah Cold Stone Creamery
Inna dub style...
Roller skates
A dvd of Cool Runnings
Murder, She Wrote
Yagga yagga yagga yow
Are you there Jah? It's me, Ras Trent
Are you there Jah? It's me, Ras Trent
Are you there Jah? It's me, Ras Trent
Please guide me pon your bike path of righteousness
Oh stannahoy, stannahoy, stannahoy, stannahoy Jah!
Fussing and fighting and Zion and Roots
Red Stripe, Shabba, Ragamuffin, and culture
Me night nurse never want to plant de corn
Skiddily whoa
Diddily, skiddily biddily biddily whoa
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2:41 |
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from The Lonely Island 1집 - Incredibad (2009)
Hey girl I got somethin` real important to give you
So just sit down and listen
Girl you know we`ve been together
such a long long time
(such a long time)
And now I`m ready to lay it on the line
(Wooow)
You know it`s Christmas
and my heart is open wide
Gonna give you something
so you know what`s on my mind
A gift real special, so take off the top
Take a look inside
it`s my dick in a box
Not gonna get you a diamond ring
That sort of gift don`t mean anything
Not gonna get you a fancy car
Girl ya gotta know you`re my shining star
Not gonna get you a house in the hills
A girl like you needs somethin` real
Wanna get you somethin` from the heart
Somethin` special girl
It`s my dick in a box,
my dick in a box babe
It`s my dick in a box,
my dick in a box girl
See I`m wise enough to know
when a gift needs givin` (yeah)
And I got just the one,
somethin` to show ya that you are second to none
To all the fellas out there with ladies to impress
It`s easy to do just follow these steps
1: Cut a hole in a box
2: Put your junk in that box
3: Make her open the box
And that`s the way you do it
It`s my dick in a box...
my dick in a box babe
It`s my dick in a box,
my dick in a box girl
Christmas; dick in a box
Hanukkah; dick in a box
Kwanzaa; a dick in a box
Every single holiday a dick in a box
Over at your parent`s house a dick in a box
Mid day at the grocery store a dick in a box
Backstage at the CMA`s a dick in a box
(yeah-wow-wow-wow-wow-wow)
a dick in a box..
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1:06 |
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from The Lonely Island 1집 - Incredibad (2009)
(No I'm being serious)
Yo
It's the Wild Wild West
You came to the right place, my man
Get ready, here we go
(New shit)
Welcome my friends, to The Old Saloon
Everyone in town is hangin out
If you got a drink, well you drink it down
Then we'll all go have sex with whores
(Brand new)
Buffalo Bill, I just rode into town
On my horse? You betcha on my horse
That's the thing in the Old West times
Everybody enjoys a good horse ride
If you cheat at cards you'll get thrown out
Right out the saloon doors on your butt
Come back in and buy a round of whiskey
Guess what? All is forgiven!
(DJ Larry)
Well I understand you're Calamity Jane
And you're another guy that's probably an Injin
Man this whiskey is warm and it smells like piss (DJ Larry)
Oh no! My 'stache smells like piss!
So that's your story, I'm stickin to it
The Old Wild West is no place for a lady
I'm the bartender but I'm also the Mayor
So, just put that in your pipe and smoke it (DJ Lah...)
Tiny Tim, man it's almost Christmas
Sure is dusty here
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2:47 |
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from The Lonely Island 1집 - Incredibad (2009)
JORMA
These days, a lot of catz is outta line
ANDY
Seems to me like they need to get punched
JORMA
Yeah, but where you gonna punch them?
ANDY
Yo, the choice is obvious
ANDY
I'll punch you in the jeans, I'll punch you in the jeans
This is not a case of man vs. machine
JORMA
You think that you're safe, thought you got away clean
ANDY
I'll roll up on you smooth and punch you in the jeans
JORMA
I've got my fist clenched, gonna throw a hay-maker
Rockin' your slacks from here to jaimaca
Shaking your boots 'cause I'm the earth-quaker
Bringing those jeans around here was a mistake-a
ANDY
I got a vendetta, it's against your jeans
Gonna put my knuckles up against the seams
They could be on your legs, or on the clothes line
But when I see the zipper and cloth, it's go time
JORMA
And I'm zeroed in, I got the tunnel-vision
ANDY
Gonna cover you in sh*t like a ton of pigeons
JORMA
Man I hate your jeans, I'm gonna bruise that denim
JORMA
It really doesn't matter, as long as you're in 'em
ANDY & JORMA
Yo we'll punch your jeans, we said it before
Best believe this is not a metaphor
Better watch your back, 'cause we're on the creek, and we won't stop until your jeans are six feet deep
JORMA
Man I'll murder your jeans, I'll feed 'em to the fishes,
Here's what I'd do if I had three wishes
Punch your jeans on all three counts
It would bring me satisfaction in large amounts
ANDY
Yo, if I had three wishes I would do the same
We see eye to eye in this jean punch game (yeah)
I'd lay them in a field where there's chemical spray
But I'd punch them first
JORMA
Yo that goes without sayin' (yeah)
Acid wash, pleats, or a nifty cuff
It's just another jean for my fist to stuff
ANDY
Throwing fist to cuffs, eat pants like bagged lunches
Jeans pronounced dead
JORMA
Cause of death?
ANDY
Hecka punches
ANDY & JORMA
Yo we'll punch your jeans, we said it before,
Best believe this is not a metaphor
You got something to say?
We got the proper retorts
Beat your jeans so bad that they wish they were shorts
ANDY
Gonna revise your Levi's with physical harm
Put divets in the rivets with my physical arm
JORMA
Gonna beat those jeans, wanna dip 'em in slime
Turn your 501's into 499's
ANDY
When I punch your jean I like to imagine a face
The fly is the nose and the balls are the base of the face
JORMA
You got taste and it shows, my man
ANDY
God damn your jean brand got me throwing my hand
JORMA
Gonna go back in time and find the man who made jeans
And choke him to death, if you know what I mean
ANDY
Yo I know what you mean, so keep your jeans on a hush
So breakout out out
When you get a bum rushed
ANDY & JORMA
You we'll punch your jeans, we said it before
Best believe this is not a metaphor
So take off your jeans and reverse the curse
'Cause we're the best jean punchers in the universe
JORMA
It really doesn't matter as long as you're in 'em (x2)
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2:55 |
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from The Lonely Island 1집 - Incredibad (2009)
Reach for the stars!
You stand on a distant planet
Skyline of red plateaus
Strange air and vegetation
You're a winner!
Welcome to the Space Olympics
The year Thirty Twenty Two
Take part in a grand tradition
Your name echoes in the holes of the universe!
Believe in yourself!
Take your game into outer space!
Every single galactic athlete
Needs a coded ID badge
Drug tests are mandatory
You're a winner!
The Athlete's Village is on Zargon
You all get a junior suite
We don't cover incidentals
So keep your ass off the minibar!
You're the best in the world!
Brace yourself 'cause there's no gravity!
You're in the motherfuckin' Space Olympics!
Let it be known by every nation
You'll only get one meal a day
There was a bit of a budget SNAFU
And food funding is insufficient
We can't really enforce a curfew
As there is no light or sound
Just one of the many problems
With hosting a sporting event in space.
Attention all athletes. There are minor scheduling adjustments.
Space Disc! Is totally cancelled.
Space Swords! Is totally cancelled.
Space Luge! Is also cancelled.
And all other events are pending!
Welcome to your Space Olympics
All the oxygen has run out
And someone who will not be named
Accidentally hit self-destruct
As you file to your escape pods
I'll distract the alien hordes
And as I stare death in the face I know my sins will take me to hell.
You do it for the love
My love
And there ain't no woman that could take your spot my love
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2:27 |
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from The Lonely Island 1집 - Incredibad (2009)
We're sitting here today with film star Natalie Portman
Hello, so Natalie, what's the day
In life of Natalie Portman like?
Do you really wanna know? Please, tell us
I don't sleep motherfucker off that yak and Durban
Doin' one twenty, gettin' head while I'm swervin'
Damn Natalie, you a crazy chick
Yo, shut the fuck up and suck my dick
I bust in dudes mouth like gushers motherfucker
Roll up on NBC and smack the shit outta Jeff Zucker
What you want, Natalie? To drink and fight
What you need, Natalie? To fuck all night
Don't test when I'm crazy on that airplane glue
Put my foot down your throat till you shit in my shoe
Leave you screaming, pay for my dry cleaning
Fuck your man, it's my name that he's screamin'
I'm sorry Natalie, but are we to believe you
Condone driving while intoxicated?
I never said I was a role model
What about the kids that look up to you?
Do you have a message for them?
All the kids lookin' up to me can suck my dick
It's Portman motherfucker, drink till I'm sick
Slit your throat and poor nitrous down the hole
Watch you laugh and cry while I laugh you die
And all the dudes you know I'm talkin' to you
We love you Natalie, I wanna fuck you too
P is for Portman, P is for pussy
I'll kill your fuckin' dog for fun, so don't push me
Well, Natalie I'm surprised
All this from a Harvard graduate
Well, there's a lot you may not know about me
Really? Such as?
When I was in Harvard I smoked weed every day
I cheated every test and snorted all the yay
I gotta a def posse and you gotta bunch of dudes
I sit right down on your face and take a shit
Natalie, you are a bad ass bitch, hell yeah
And I always pay for your dry cleanin'
When my shit gets in your shoe, what?
And as for the drug use, well I can vouch for that
My dick is scared of you, girl
Okie-dokie, one final question
If you can steal a smooch from
Any guy in Hollywood, who would it?
No more questions, what
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