The Lonely Island

When you're out at a club
and you see a fly girl
do the creep
and do the creep
And if you wanna make friends
at the ATM
Do the creep
And do the creep
Well we got a new dance
so get up on your feet
It's real easy to do
and it's called the creep
Let your hands flop round
like a marionette
Pop your knees up and down
sh sh shakin' your neck
Now pull your waistband up
like you expecting a flood
And stick your hair down flat
like it was covered in mud
Trim up your pencil mustache
and pop them peepers
Put this in your speakers
you a certified creeper
When you see a country bitch
laying out at the beach
Do the creep
And do the creep
And when a fine PYT walks in
front of your tree
do the creep
And do the creep
I was six years old
when I started creeping
My parents took it to their room
and I started peeping
you can imagine their surprise
when they lifted their heads
And saw my little ass creeping
at the foot of the bed
And they knew I was a creep
since the day I was born
Get popping out of momma
like some chemical
And the doctor saw my head
and he starting freaking
Cause I came clean
and I came out creeping
Nicki Nicki Nicki Nicki Nicki Nicki
When I was a girl
I creeped in the boys locker room
Hide deep inside
it was my little creep stalker room
As they disrobed I was
oogling and oggling
Little did they know that for me
they was modelling
And I would laugh
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
And they would dance
la la la la la la la laaa
So pop pop pop your peepers
and turn out your sneakers
Don't sleep come and get ya
creep on with me
Go get ya sweating off ya
bride at her wedding
do the creep
And do the creep
But when you sneek into a wake
and you see a beefcake
Do the creep
And do the creep
When the judge is a hottie
and you can't control ya body
Do the creep
And do the creep
So get ya knees flexin'
and your arms T rexin'
Do the creep
And do the creep
And don't forget to smile

oh dang
what is it dawg
i forgot its mothers day
didnt get a gift for her
other plans got in the way
she'll be so dissapointed
damn i forgot it too
this could've been avoided
what the hell are we gonna do
my mom's been so alone
ever since my daddy left
cold
no one to hold her tight
life as put her to the test
i know just what you mean
my mom's been so sad and grey
word
my dad can't satisfy her in the
bedroom ever since he passed away
HOLD UP
you thinkin what im thinkin
im thinkin im thinkin too
SLOW UP
what time is it dawg
it's time for a switcharoo
we both love our moms
women with grown women needs
i say we break them off
show them how much they really mean
cause i'm a mother lover
you're a mother lover
we sould fuck each others
mother's fuck each others moms
ill push in that place where
you came out as a baby
no doubt that shit is crazy
fucking each others moms
cause every mothers day needs a
mothers night
if doing it is wrong
i dont wanna be right
i'm calling on you
cuz i cant do it myself
to me your like a brother
so be my mother lover
i'm layin in the cut waiting for
your mom
clutchin on this lube and roses
i got my digital camera
i'm a make your momma do a
million poses
they will be so suprised
we are so cool and thoughtfull
cant wait to pork your mom
ima be the syrup she can be
my waffle
show love
my momma loves bubble bath with
chamomile
straight up
give it to my mom
d d d d d d doggy style
this a perfect plan
for a perfect mothers day
they'll have to rename this one
all up under the covers day
cause i'm a mother lover
you're a mother lover
we sould fuck each others mother's
fuck each others moms
ill push in that place
where you came out as a baby
aint no doubt that shit is crazy
fucking each others moms
break it down
it would be my honor
to be your new step father
it would be my honor
to be your new step father
ill let you do my mother
make me another brother
and im gonna do your mother
ill never use a rubber
OH
cause every mothers day
needs a mothers night
if doing it is wrong i dont
wanna be right
i'm calling on you cuz
i cant do it myself
to me your like a brother
so be my mother lover
they blessed us both with the
gift of life
she brought you in this world
so ima sex her right
this is the second best idea
that we've ever had
the choice can be no other
be my mother lover
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY

[Jorma Taccone]
Ayo, new Lonely Island!
2011!
Let’s get ‘em, Kiv!

[Akiva Schaffer]
Ayo, my dick don’t work, that shit is soft as a pillow
My girlie lookin’ at me like “You for real, dude?”

[Jorma]
Ayo, hold up, hold up
We gotta come harder than that!
Yo, tell ‘em, Andy

[Andy Samberg]
I think there might be somethin’ wrong with my dick
It’s like a melted stick of butter, so soft that it can’t feel the rubber

Ayo, come on, man
This is Lonely Island!
People are countin’ on us!
I gotta write all these motherfuckers myself!

[Jorma]
Ayo, I think I broke my dick in the sink
It’s so small and ugly
All splashed and flat like it was playin’ rugby

Hold up, hold up, this is serious
Kiv, let ‘em know

[Akiva]
Yo, for real though, I suffer from stinky dick
Every time I take a piss it smell just like shit

[Jorma]
Haha, yeah, that’s what I’m talkin’ ’bout
Andy, show ‘em how it’s done

[Andy]
My dick looks like the fat that you cut off a steak
Smashed in like my balls went and stepped on a rake

[Jorma]
Lonely Island!
Grammy-nominated, yeah!
(Hit ‘em again)

[Akiva]
Yo, straight out the box with my soggy little shrivel
I was an eight-year-old girl before the doctor found my dick

[Jorma]
We make too much money for this shit
Murder music

[Andy]
I shit the bed ’cause my dick played a prank on my butt
Straight tripped when I slept, and stuck a laxative up

[Jorma]
Suppository music!
What y’all know about incontinence!?

[Akiva]
I got hepatitis C from a horse, but no confusion
It wasn’t from the sex, it was a blood transfusion

[Jorma]
What?
Motherfucker got horse blood!
What y’all got!?

[Andy]
I write freaky fan fiction where cartoons fuck
Got CGI Garfield lickin’ Marmaduke’s nuts

[Jorma]
Woo, I would like to see that!
This is that Garfield sex music!
Now y’all just show me love, preach

[Akiva]
I got a friend named Reggie who lives down at the dump (Tell ‘em)
Every other week I swing by to bring him some lunch

[Jorma]
Oh, now that just sounds nice!
I’ma call it right there!
Game over, motherfuckers!
Lonely Island, we started this fake rap shit
The world needs us!

This one goes out
from the bottom of our hearts
to the most important lady in our lives
It's time to pay some respect
I hope you proud of us
'cause we're proud of you

Mama! You raised me right
Mama! Showed me the light
Mama! Through pain and strife
Mama! You gave us life

When I fell down you were there to pick me up
When I felt bad you were there to build me up
Gave everything you had in the world to me
and you made me the man I'm supposed to be

Jane, even though I don't say it often enough
I appreciate everything you did for us
Never take you for granted 'cause it ain't hard to see
the best parts of you are now a part of me

Ah Mama!
And when it was cold outside,
you kept us warm and held us down...

[Mom]Hi boys, who wants a snack?
[Andy] MOM, GET OUT WE'RE IN THE STUDIO!
[Jorma] OH MY GOD!
[Mom] Just checking on my guys!
[Jorma] GET OUT OF HERE!
[Andy] WE'RE MAKING A TRACK YOU IDIOT!
[Mom] Oooohhh!
[Andy] JUST LEAVE!
[Mom] Okie doke
[Jorma] GO! GO!
[Andy] YOU SUCK, MOM!

Yeah my one true love, my heart, my ma
Show her respect in the form of this song
so when life gets hard and it makes you cry
I'll always be there to wipe a tear from your eye

My mom's my number one fan, my best friend
and I'll never disrespect...

*Door opens*
[Jorma] MOM!
[Mom] I know you said you were'nt hungry, but I made ants on a log
[Andy] GET THE f-ck OUT
[Jorma] LEAVE! LEAVE ME! GO!
[Mom] So how's your little club going?
[Andy] IT'S NOT A CLUB!
[Jorma] IT'S A RAP GROUP!
[Mom] Well I'll leave these here and eat them if you...
[Jorma] FINE!
[Andy] GO TO HELL, MOM!

She's an angel on earth with invisible wings
I put no one above in summer, winter or spring, or fall...

*Door opens*
[Mom] Have you guys seen the remote?
[Andy] OH MY GOD!
[Jorma] LEAVE US ALONE!
[Andy] f-ck YOU MOM!
[Jorma] LEAVE US ALONE!
*window smashes*
[Mom] Watch it
[Andy] I HOPE YOU f-ckING DIE!

Jump in front of a bullet if it could save my mom
You got a a gun going bullet 'cause you will never see harm...

*Door opens*
[Mom] Nevermind, I found it
*They all scream/shout/gl-ss smashes*
['Dale'] Laura, everything ok?
[Andy] SHUT THE f-ck UP DALE!
[Jorma] SHUT UP!
[Mom] Hey! Be nice to Dale
[Andy] f-ck DALE!
[Jorma] f-ck DALE!
[Andy] I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HAVE s-x WITH THAT GUY!

This goes out to all the mamas
trying to protect their kids from drama
Love was your goal to bring
No matter what they say, you're beautifull
so push them lighters in the sky,
wave 'em back from side to side
And if you feel lost and alone,
let our voices guide you home

[Mom] Is something burning down there?
[Andy] GET THE f-ck OUT NOW!

[Andy Samberg]
Sometimes (Oh-oh-ohhh)
Something beautiful happens in this world (Akon!)
You don’t know how to express yourself, so (And Lonely Island!)
You just gotta sing

[Akon]
I just had sex (Ay)
And it felt so good (Felt so good)
A woman let me put my penis inside of her (Her)
I just had se-ay-ee-ex
And I’ll never go back (Never go back)
To the not-havin’-sex ways of the past

[Samberg]
Have you ever had sex? I have, it felt great (Yeah)
It felt so good when I did it with my penis (Yeah)
A girl let me do it, it literally just happened
Having sex should make a nice man out the meanest

[Jorma Taccone]
Never guess where I just came from, I had sex
If I had to describe the feelin’, it was the best
When I had the sex, man, my penis felt great
And I called my parents right after I was done

[Samberg]
Oh, hey, didn’t see you there, guess what I just did?
Had sex, undressed, saw her boobies and the rest
(Was sure nice of her to let you do that thing)
Nice of any girl ever (Now sing)

I just had sex (Ay)
And it felt so good (Felt so good)
A woman let me put my penis inside of her (Her)
I wanna tell the world

To be honest, I’m surprised she even wanted me to do it
(Doesn’t really make sense) But man, screw it
(I ain’t one to argue with a good thing) She could be my wife!

(That good?) The best thirty seconds of my life

I’m so humbled by a girl’s ability to let me do her
‘Cause honestly, I’d have sex with a pile of manure
With that in mind, a soft, nice-smellin’ girl’s better
Plus she let me wear my chain and my turtleneck sweaters

So this one’s dedicated to them girls
That let us flop around on top of them
If you’re near or far, whether short or tall
We wanna thank you all for lettin’ us fuck you

She kept lookin’ at her watch (Doesn’t matter, had sex!)
But I cried the whole time (Doesn’t matter, had sex!)
I think she might’ve been a racist (Doesn’t matter, had sex!)

She put a bag on my head (Still counts!)

I just had sex (Ay)
And my dreams came true (Dreams came true)
So if you had sex in the last thirty minutes
Then you qualified to sing with me

I just had se-e-ex (Everybody sing!)
And it felt so good (We all had sex!)
A woman let me put my penis inside of her
I just had se-ay-ee-ex (I just had sex)
And I’ll never go back (Never go back)
To the not-havin’-sex ways of the past

Secretary: Guys, Michael Bolton is here
Oh Great, send him in.
Michael Bolton: Hey guys.
Hey, hi, thanks for coming
Michael Bolton: Sorry I'm late, I got caught up watching that Pirates of the Carribean marathon. Have you
seen those things?
Oh yeah, yeah, those are, those are great.
Michael Bolton: Well, I checked out the track and I loved it. And I wrote you this big sexy hook I think
you're really gonna dig.
Oh wow that's great, awesome. Should we just lay it down?
Michael Bolton: Boys, lets get to it.
Whisper: Here we go.

Ungh, Lonely Island, Michael Bolton
YEAAAHH!
The night starts now
Together on the track, the boys are back
The night starts now
Night starts now baby roll with us, chickens snapping at the neck when we rollin' up.
ROLLIN' UP
Blow through the doors ain't no holdin' up
YEAH
Black card at the bar like I gives a fuck.
COME ON
Ladies shifty eyed when we walk into the set, fuck the fellas looking jealous play the back and get wet
YEAH YEAH
Three pound in my waist, shank in my sock, you either get cut, get stuffed or get shot.

THIS IS THE TALE OF CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW, PIRATE SO BRAVE ON THE SEVEN SEAS
What?
A MYSTICAL QUEST TO THE ISLE OF TORTUGA, RAVEN LOCKS SWAY ON THE OCEAN'S
BREEZE.

Yeah that was kinda weird, but we're back in the club
Buying up the bar so the groupies show us love
KIERA KNIGHTLY
Motherfucking ice-man, I'm the top gunner
Heater on blast, I'm the number one stunner
JACK SPARROW
Watch it girl cause I ain't your "Mr. Nice Guy",
More like the "meet ya take you home and fuck you twice guy"
YEAH YEAH!
All dressed up with nowhere to run,
And now I make you feel crazy with the??
NOW BACK TO THE GOOD PART:
FROM THE DAY HE WAS BORN, HE YEARNED FOR ADVENTURE
Nooo
OLD CAPTAIN JACK GIVING THEM WHAT FOR.
HE'S THE PAUPER OF THE SURF
(yeah?쫢h huh)
THE JESTER OF TORTUGA
(oh God)
BUT IS DAVY JONES' LOCKER WHAT LIES IN STORE?
Yeah, we've seen the movie

Throw your hands in the air and say hell yeah, come on
CAPTAIN JACK
What?
JOHNNY DEPP
No
From the front to the back say we count stacks come on
DAVY JONES
Nope
GIANT SQUID
Wrong
Michael Bolton we're really gonna need you to focus up

ROGER THAT LET ME TRY IT WITH ANOTHER FILM

Wait--

LIFE IS A BOX OF CHOCOLATES AND MY NAME IS FORREST GUMP
(Not better)
THOUGH I'M NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED, I GIVE JENNY ALL OF MY LOVE
(Come on!)
OK THEN I'M A LEGAL AIDE, ERIN BROCKOVICH IS MY NAME
(Nooo, God)
THEN YOU CAN CALL ME SCARFACE, SNORTIN MOUNTAINS OF COCAINE
(close enough)
YOU COCKROACHES WANNA PLAY ROUGH? OKAY, I'M RELOADED

THIS IS THE TALE OF TONY MONTANYA
CUBANO FLAME, WITH THE MIAMI NUTS
(Take it home!)
GOT A BASEHEAD WIFE, BUT HER WOMB IS POLLUTED
THIS WHOLE TOWN'S A PUSSY, JUST WAITING TO GET FUCKED!

Ooookay, turns out Michael Bolton is a major cinephile
YOU COMPLETE ME!
Yup, yeah, ok??

White girls!
You are attracted to us!
Black girls!
You are attracted to us!
Asian girls!
You are attracted to us!
Latinas!
You are attracted to us!
Attracted to us!
But you're never gonna get it
Never never gonna get it
No you're never gonna get it
Because we're shy, we're shy, we're shy
We're all so shy
You're never gonna get it
We're so sweet and shy
All you pretty girls
We know you want our bodies
But we're more the [?] types
Yea yea yea yea
But you're never gonna get it
Never never gonna get it
No you're never gonna get it
Because we're shy, we're shy, we're shy
We're nice and shy
You're never gonna get it
We're polite and shy
Nerdy girls!
You are attracted to us!
Oh-My-God girls!
You are attracted to us!
[?] girls!
You are attracted to us!
Cha-cha-cha girls!
You are attracted to us!
Space girls!
You are attracted to us!
You are attracted to us!
Cause we are shy

Here's a little story that I think you'll like
It's not about Shaq or Iron Mike
So buckle your seatbelts, it's gonna get choppy
And listen to the tale of the time I fought Rocky

One day me and all my friends were hangin'
Talkin' 'bout which of the girls was most bangin'
Then one friend says, "You know who's really tough?
"Rocky," (hit me home) "the boxer." Man,

I said, "Yeah I know him. What about him?" He said,
"He's really tough." "No way, man. I'm calling your bluff
"I think that I can take him and, to prove my point,
"I'll challenge him in public." (Yeah, that's the joint!)

So the very next day, stayed true to my word
And I snuck on T.V. so I could be heard
I said, 'Rocky, if you're out there, I think you're a nerd.
"And I'll lick you and bury you like a dog turd!"

I got kicked out, but the candle was lit
'Cause the people had to know if my claim was legit
It made the headlines and I got the call
It was Rocky ("Hey") and he wanted to brawl

We negotiated terms and set the date
Then I went into training to add some muscle weight
While I punched on meat in a rickety shack
He was sippin' on wine, having models rub his back

At the weigh-in, boy the tension was high
Me and Rock, toe-to-toe and eye-to-eye
I talked some trash, we got pulled apart
I shot him one last look to strike fear in his heart

Skip ahead, the big night was finally here
My body was ripped and my mind was clear
We entered the arena to the roar of the crowd
People chantin' my name - I never felt so proud

Faced off once more in the center of the ring
Touched gloves, said a prayer and the bell went *ding*
He hit me with a left and shattered my face
And a right sent my teeth all over the place

Then another great punch caved-in my eye socket
He broke my jaw and my trainer yelled, "Stop it!"
But nobody heard him and he crushed my ribs
Blood sprayed off my face and onto some kids

They yelled out, "More!" and Rocky obliged
I had to think of some way to turn the tides
So I leaned back to hit him with all of my might
Took a swing, but he caught me with a sucker punch right

Then a sucker punch left and a sucker punch right
Then twenty-two consecutive sucker punch rights
He tore off my arms and beat me with 'em
Then threw acid in my face which obscured my vision

He kicked me in the leg and fractured my shin
The bone splinters shot right out of my skin
People barfed in the crowd; they were going insane
And Rocky punched my nose-bone into my brain

I was quivering and twitching when I soiled my shorts
Then Rocky pissed on me (customary in sports)
The doctor came out and pronounced me dead
And that was the night I fought Rocky

Okay,

My mic sounds nice check one

My mic sounds nice check two

My mic sounds nice check three

My mic sounds nice check four

My mic sounds nice check five

My mic sounds nice check six

Our mics sound nice check sevennnnnnn

Turtle neck and chain
Turtle neck and chain
Turtle neck and chain
Sippin' on a light beer

My turtle neck phat and my chain so thin
And I'm sippin' light beer and my crew right here
Chain razor thin, light beer in my cup
And my sweater on turtle with the neck on puff
Huge turtle neck and my chain so skinny
Beer light all night stand up get dizzy
Light cup beer drink thin so chain neck turtle phat man I won't say it again

Turtle neck and chain
Turtle neck and chain
Turtle neck and chain
Sippin' on a light beer

Turtle neck check with another on deck
'Case I spill something on it
Like some light beer? Yes
We be bragging 'bout who's chain the thinnest
Turtle neck thicker than Delta Burke swimming in the guiness
Now musicjuzz.blogspot.com bare with me
What they can't see my chain
Metal so thin it dissolve when it rain
Got more chain than the snow patrol
Every one razor thin like an insect's stripper pole

Turtle neck and chain
Turtle neck and chain
Turtle neck and chain
Sippin' on a light beer

Chain so light when the police roll by
Man it flow
Man it flow
And my beer so light you can see right through it like a ghost
And I also wear turtle necks
Sweaters while I wing my chain like it's stuck in the couch
Looking like cookie monster flossing his mouth
Find me cooling on the corner sippin' light beer foam
You can tell by my turtle neck and chain that I bone

Turtle neck light beer and a thin ass chain
And that's it
Turtle neck light beer and a thin ass chain
And that's it

The rabbit kick the bucket
Dogg said fuck it
Get my two step on with my turtle neck on
Thin ass chain light beer in my glass
Smacking that bitches, the ones with the ass
Girl you know it's true tell me what it do
Oh you like my style say you like my crew
Say you wanna be under my chest
This turtle neck is like one of my best
Say you wanna be under my chest
This turtle neck is like one of my best
So I guess yo dress no stress
Staying fresh is my vendetta
I'm a crook so my look
On my game go getta
The phatter, the puffier, the fluffier,
The bigger the turtle neck the more gangsta it is

Turtle neck and chain
Turtle neck and chain
Turtle neck and chain
Sippin' on a light beer
Turtle neck and chain
Turtle neck and chain
Turtle neck and chain
Sippin' on a light beer

Yeaahh, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay
We at it again, everybody now
Hands in the air, its a stick up, stick up
no funny business or you get lit up, lit up
You test I (I), you gon' die (die)
And at your funeral ya mama gon' cry
So customers kiss the floor, floor
And clerks open cash drawers slow, slow
If you don't wanna end up dead
You'll do everything Shy Ronnie says
Tell 'em, Ronnie!

No one in the bank can hear you
Shy Ronnie, use your outside voice
We don't have time for this
Let's go

So stay on the ground its a stick up, stick up
Your wallets and jewels we'll pick up, pick up
Unload the cash (cash), move your ass (ass)
We gettin' money, tell 'em Shy Ronnie

Please, please use your words
Just imagine that everyone's naked
Uh, oh!
Boner alert. He really pictured them naked.
The police are on their way
(Come out with your hands up)
Good luck, Shy Ronnie
Bye, bye!

HA-HAA!

Ronnie motherfucker and I'm back from the dead,
Brain bored with the murder, so I shot my own leg
Don't get the name twisted, cause I'm crazy as shit
I hung a giant ass noose off my giant ass dick

Aye! I forgot this money
And also this guy
Come on, we're gonna have sex
Too-da-loo!

And you can hang from it
Cause you don't wanna see my real gun
Shots to the sky but your face sound real fun!
Ronnie!

Yea let's do this
Take a good look at me, you need a bad guy like me
All I have in this world is my balls and my work, and I don't break em for no one

Yo hopped out the whip, popped the heater out the glove-y
Ski-masked it up, bout to jack these fools, love me
Blasted through the door, blazing hell with the shells flyin,
Spiderwebbed the flat screen in one shot, babies crying

Got these bitches nose bloody, face down in the shag
This bitch is flippin - Shut the fuck up and fill the bag
All of a sudden - BOOM, shots from the back room
It was a set up, dude yellin "Gettin' fed up!"

Yo we bust out the back, dookie flyin outta my pants
You got the keys, yea boy now make that engine dance
This shit is stallin, fuck man they strapped up
Lets make a brake for it to the crib or the backup

We hit the pavement, dookie bustin all out of my jeans
You hop the fence, so we can get away clean
We hit the dirt, this rottweiler snarlin and smilin
He ripped my pantleg off, a bunch of dookies went flyin

I had to blast, dog brains all in the grass
Mixed with the dookie, yeah man nighty night! Time to smash
Yo we cut through the park, dookies poppin outta my shirt
A hail of bullets from behind, like lead fireworks

Dookie fillin up my sneaks bought to bust, No doubt
Pulled off a Isotoner glove, shook the dookies out
Yo it's a chase, they want us to be chased
Yo duck over here, I gotta ditch some dead dookie weight

Whipped off my stunning? so I could dump the dookie
Cop blazin out the eucalyptus tryin to shoot me
I blew out his back, that's all she wrote man
Yeah, now his chest slapped two dookies for the boatman

They comin man, quick throw these dookies in the trash
Hold up more dookie, they comin out fast
Yo I can't move my leg, cause I'm stuck on dookie mountain
Fifty guns open fire, blood spray like a fountain

Now our bodies all shredded, shots blaze right through me
We're done-er than done, done in by the dookie

Trouble on Dookie Island

Oh damn…
이런 젠장



What is it dawg?
왜 그래 친구



I forgot it’s Mother’s Day.
어머니의 날인 걸 깜빡했네



Didn’t get a gift for her.
선물 준비 못했어?



Other plans got in the way.
다른 일들이 있었어



She’ll be so dissappointed.
어머니께서 무척 실망하실텐데



Damn I forgot it too.
젠장 나도 깜빡했어



This could have been avoided.
챙겨드릴 수 있었는데



Both: What the hell are we gonna do?
대체 어떻게 해야 되지?



My mom’s been so forlorn
울 엄만 너무 외로우셔



ever since my daddy left.
아버지가 돌아가시고 난 뒤부터



COLD.
저런



No one to hold her tight,
지탱해 줄 사람이 없으셔



life has put her to the test.
삶이 시험의 연속이지



I know just what you mean,
무슨 말인 지 알겠다.



my mom’s been so sad and gray.
우리 어머니도 슬프고 우울하시지.



Word.
왜?



My dad can’t satisfy her in the bedroom ever since he passed away.
아버지가 돌아가신 후로 침대에서 만족할 수 없기 때문이지



Both: Hold up.
잠깐



You thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?
너도 지금 그 생각하냐?



I’m thinkin’ I’m thinkin’ too.
나도 지금 그 생각하는 것 같군



Both: Slow up.
서두르지 마



What time is it dawg?
지금이 몇 시지 친구?



It’s time for a switcharoo.
스와핑할 시간이지



Both: We both love our moms,
우리 모두 엄마를 사랑하지



women with grown women needs.
욕구불만이 쌓여가는 엄마를



I say we break ‘em off,
감동시켜 버리자



show ‘em how much they really mean…
얼마나 소중한 분인지 알게 해드리자구



’cause I’m a Mother Lover,
왜냐면 나는 Mother Lover



you’re a Mother Lover.
너도 Mother Lover



We should fuck each other’s mothers.
서로의 엄마에게 박아드리자꾸나



Fuck each other’s moms…
박아 드리자꾸나~♪



I’ll push in that place where you came out as a baby.
니가 태어난 구멍으로 밀어 넣어 드릴거야.



Ain’t no doubt that shit is crazy.
미친 게 분명하지



Fuck each others moms…
박아 드리자꾸나~♪



Both: ’Cause every Mother’s Day needs a Mother’s Night.
모든 어머니들은 그들을 위한 밤이 필요하지



If doing it is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.
미쳤다고 손가락질 해도 난 상관없어



I’m callin’ on you ’cause I can’t do it myself.
너에게 부탁하지. 왜냐면 내가 할 순 없으니까



To me you’re like a brother,
넌 나에게 형제나 다름없지



so be my mother lover.
그러니 나의 Mother Lover가 되줘



I’m layin’ in the cut waitin’ for your mom,
너희 엄말 기다리며 만반의 준비를 했지



clutchin’ on this lube and roses.
윤활제와 장미다발을 들고 기다리고 있지



I got my digital camera,
난 디카를 준비했지



I’m gonna make your momma do a million poses.
너희 엄마를 다양한 포즈로 찍어주지



They will be so surprised.
꽤 많이 놀라실 거야



We are so cool and thoughtful.
우린 너무 쿨하고 자상한 듯



Can’t wait to pork your mom.
더 이상 기다릴 수 없어



I’m gonna be the syrup, she can be my waffle.
나는 달콤한 시럽, 너희 엄만 나의 와플



Both: Show’d up
Show’d up~♪



My mother loves bubble bath with chamomile.
울 엄만 케모마일 거품 목욕을 좋아하시지



Both: Straight up.
Straight up~♪



Give it to my mom d-d-d-d-d-doggystyle.
울 엄마한테는 뒤 뒤 뒤 뒤 뒷치기로 해드려



Both: This is the perfect plan for a perfect Mother’s Day.
완벽한 어머니의 날을 위한 완벽한 계획이지



They’ll have to rename this one
이 날의 이름을 바꿔야겠군



All Up Under The Covers Day.
이불 속의 날로 말야



‘Cause I’m a Mother Lover,
왜냐면 나는 Mother Lover



you’re a Mother Lover.
너도 Motehr Lover



We should fuck each others mothers.
서로의 엄마에게 박아드리자꾸나



Fuck each others moms…
박아드리자꾸나~♪



I’ll push in that place where you came out as a baby,
니가 태어난 구멍으로 밀어 넣어 드릴거야



ain’t no doubt that shit is crazy…
미친 게 분명하지



Fuck each others moms…
박아드리자꾸나~♪



Break it down…
Break it down



It would be my honor to be your new stepfather
너의 새아버지가 되는 걸 영광으로 생각하네



It would be my honor to be your new stepfather.
너의 새아버지가 되는 걸 영광으로 생각하네~♪



I’ll let you do my mother,
울 엄마는 너에게 맡길테니



make me another brother…
동생이나 하나 만들어주렴



And while I’m in your mother,
그리고 너의 엄마와 있을 댄



I’ll never use a rubber.
콘돔은 절대 쓰지 않겠네



OH!
OH!



’Cause every Mother’s Day needs a Mother’s Night.
모든 어머니들은 그들을 위한 밤이 필요하지



If doing it is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.
미쳤다고 손가락질해도 난 상관없어



I’m callin’ on you ’cause I can’t do it myself.
너에게 부탁하지. 왜냐면 내가 할 순 없으니까



To me you’re like a brother,
넌 나에게 형제나 다름없지



so be my mother lover.
그러니 나의 Mother Lover가 되줘



They blessed us both with the gift of life.
우리에게 삶이란 큰 선물을 주신 분들이야



She brought you in this world so I’m a sex her right.
널 세상에 나오게 한 분이시니 제대로 해드리지



This is the second best idea that we’ve ever had.
우리가 한 생각 중 두 번째로 좋은 생각인 듯~♪



The choice can be no other.
다른 선택은 할 필요도 없지



Be my mother lover.
나의 Mother Lover가 되줘



Happy Mother’s Day…
Happy Mother’s Day

aye yo, new lonely island, 2011
let’s get ‘em kiv!
aye yo my dick don’t work, that shit is soft as a pillow
my girlie lookin’ at me like “you for real dude?”

aye yo, hold up, hold up, we gotta come harder than that! yo tell ‘em andy!

i think there might be something wrong with my dick
it’s like a melted stick of butter so soft that it can’t fill a rubber.

aye yo come on man, this is lonely island, people are countin’ on us, i gotta run all these motherfuckers myself! whoo!

aye yo i think i broke my dick in the sink
it’s so small and ugly, all smashed and flat like it was playin’ rugby.
hold up hold up, this is serious, kiv let ‘em know!
yo for real though, i suffer from stinky dick.
every time i take a piss it smells just like shit.
haha yeah that’s what i’m talkin’ ’bout! andy show ‘em how it’s done!

my dick looks like the fat that you cut off a steak, smashed in like my balls went and stepped on a rake.

lonely island! grammy nominated, yea! hit ‘em again!

yo straight out the box with my soggy little shrimp
i was a eight year old girl before the doctor found my dick.
we make too much money for this shit, murder music!
i shit the bed cause my dick played a prank on my butt
hit em! straight crept when i slept and stuck a laxative up..
suppository music! whatchy’all know about incontinence?!
i got hepatitis c from horse, but no confusion, jeah!
it wasn’t from the sex it was a blood transfusion!
what?! motherfucker got horse blood! what y’all got?

i write freaky fan fiction where cartoons fuck
got cgi garfield lickin’ marmaduke’s nuts
whoo! i would like to see that! this is that garfield sex music! now ya’ll just showin off! preach!
i got a friend named reggie who lives down at the dump
every other week i swing by and bring him some lunch
oh!! now that just sounds nice!
ima call it right there, game over motherfuckers!
lonely island, we started this fake rap shit! the world needs us!

I was walkin' through the city streets
And a man walks up to me,
and hands me the latest energy drink
"Run faster, jump higher"
Man! I'm not gonna let you poison me

I threw it on the ground
You must think I'm a joke
I ain't gonna be part of your system
Man!
Pump that garbage in another man's veins

I go to my favorite hot dog stand
And the dude says,
"You come here all the time. Here's one for free."
I said, "Man! What I look like? A charity case?"

I took it, and threw it on the ground
I don't need your handouts
I'm an adult
Please!
You can't buy me a hot dog, man!

At the farmer's market with my so-called girlfriend
She hands me her cell phone, says it's my dad
Man! this ain't my dad
This is a cell phone

I threw it on the ground
What, you think I'm stupid?
I'm not a part of your system
My dad's not a phone
DUH!

Some poser hands me cake at a birthday party
Whatcha want me to do with this? Eat it?

Happy birthday to the ground
I threw the rest of the cake, too
Welcome to the real word, jackass!

So many things to throw on the ground
Like this, and this, and that, and even this
I'm an adult

Two Hollywood phonies try to give me their autograph
Ground!
Nobody wants your autograph, phonies!

Then the two phonies got up
Turned out they had a taser
And they tased me in the butthole
I fell to the ground
The phonies didn't let up
Tasin' on my butthole over and over
I was screamin' and squirmin'
My butthole was on fire
The moral of the story is

You can't trust the system
Man!

Whoa!
I can't believe we're in Japan!
Look at all the lights!
The food!
The people!
Wow!
We're three cool white friends in Japan (Japan!)
We've never been to Japan
So we wrote a song about the three of us in Japan
And our label has to pay for it
Here we are at our five star hotel
The one from LOST IN TRANSLATION (In Japan!)
The views are amazing
And their champagne waiting
Because that's how we wrote it (Yummy!)
And now the label has to pay for the video (yay!)
And pay for everything that we say (no matter what!)
For example I'll be getting a massage right now
And I'll be drinking some sake (So expensive!) (Who cares?)
Here we are at the most expensive sushi restaurant in Japan (mmm!)
And now we're at Tokyo Disneyland
And now we're in Hawaii for one random shot that our label has to pay for!
Cause we're three cool white friends in Japan (In Asia!)
The fact that we're white isn't why we're friends
But we are white, and we're friends (In Japan)
At this point in the video we'll be super drunk (WEEEE!)
Standing near some kind of Dragon
And then we'll buy some stinky used girls panties
Out of one of those pervert vending machines
Now we've seen sumo wrestling live
Unless we get dropped by our label
Cause we're three white douchebags in Japan (That's us!)
It's all part of our master plan
To get some much needed R&R
At the expense of Universal Records
Wow Look at all this Japanese money
It's called Yen
I heard it's worth more than American money
Let's dump it in the river!
(phone rings)
Moshi Moshi
Guys it's the label
This video's really expensive and-
BYE!!
Pokemon!
Dump it in the River!
Our rental car!
Dump it in the River!
This old guy!
Dump him in the river!
And now we're flying home first class!

[ANDY SAMBERG]
After the club is the after party
After the party is the hotel lobby
After that, you know it’s diamond Cris
And after that, I say, “Excuse me, miss”

And after that, we goin’ back to the room
And after that, she’s gonna leave real soon
And after that, I crack one more beer
And after that, I just stare in the mirror

And after that, I start freakin’ out
What the hell am I doing with my life?
Call up my mom and get my cry on
I order room service, get my apple pie on

And after that, I just walk the streets
A homeless dude throws up on my feet
And I see just how pointless life is
Full on existential crisis
Tear off my clothes and scream at the sky
Fall to my knees and ask God, “why?”

[SANTIGOLD]
This nightlife is killing me
I think I’m losing my mind
I yearn to fly, yet I sink
Stalling tears is my dream

[ANDY SAMBERG]
After that, I drive into the hills
And trade my car for a bottle of pills
And after that, I’m on a vision quest
Put my mind, body, and spirit to the test

And after that, I meet my totem spirit
It’s a rattlesnake, so I have to kill it
Then I drink all his blood and steal his powers
Slither around in the dirt for hours

And after that I start jerking off
Up on a mountain, jerking off
Down by the river, jerking off
And that’s when I have my epiphany
You can’t spend your whole life jerking off
And after that, I’m going back to the city

[SANTIGOLD]
This nightlife is killing me
No more jerking off
Fate only knows what’s in store
Stalling tears for me, no more

[ANDY SAMBERG]
And after that, I clean up my life
Join AA to make it right
And after that, I get my thirty day chip
And after that, I go sell a bit

And after that, I’m a whole new man
Brew complimentary in my hybrid van
I give my life to meditation
Then sleep with a whore at a Greyhound station

And after that, I have a full relapse
Then lose my hand in a game of craps
And after that, everyone calls me Claw
And after that, I work for Tim McGraw (Hey!)

And after that, I pass out in a sewer
Meet a giant fish, fuck his brains out
And after, that I’m filled with shame
No one but myself to blame
Nothing in my heart but pain
And next week we’re gonna do it again!

[SANTIGOLD]
This nightlife carves hooks in me
I’m back to jerking off
I tried but could not break free
Stalling tears return to me

Started in the club
Then he moved to the Hills
Really freaked out and drank snake blood
Got himself clean
Now back in the club
And that’s where I’ve been in this song

But it’s stalling tears
This playboy life’s too much for me

[ANDY SAMBERG]
After the club is the after party
After the party is the hotel lobby
Stuck in a cycle I just can’t win
And after that, it all happens again

Dude you're pretty swoll have you been working out?
Uh yeah, why are you looking?
Oh no, not like that man, I mean, no homo.
Ohhh no homo. Cool


When you want to compliment a friend (no homo)
But you don't want that friendship to end (no homo)
So tell a dude just how you feel (no homo)
Say 'no homo' so he knows the deal (no homo)
Hey yo man you got a fresh style (no homo)
And you know you got the best smile (no homo)
Your girlfriend is a lucky lady (no homo)
But your looks would make a handsome baby (no homo)
I like the way your shoulders fill out that shirt (no homo)
It's hard to pull off but you make it work (no homo)
Hey yo I kinda like your natural scent (no homo)
Hey yo I kinda like the musical Rent (no homo)
Man I cant decide who wore it best (no homo)
But I'm feeling Diane Keaton's vest (no homo)
I admit it I'm a fashionista (no homo)
and I know every line of Mystic Pizza (no homo)
and yo damn this rose is something special (no homo)
damn we should goof around and wrestle (no homo)
lets hit the hot tub and take a dump (no homo)
we're all friends ain't no room for trunks (no homo)
Yeah man I'm really feeling buzzed right now (no homo)
Are you really feeling buzzed right now? (no homo)
Yo we should watch this gay porno tape (no homo)
but as a joke because we're all straight (no homo)
man you could wash laundry on those abs (no homo)
Yo I think girls look good in drag (no homo)
Hey yo I've been thinking about posing nude (no homo)
Hey yo I've been thinking about fuckin a dude (no homo)
Or we could 3-way 69 (no homo)
Or human centipede in a line (no homo)
Or some docking could be hella fun (no homo)
Or yeah man I could do this one (no homo)
Hey yo no homo but I wanna dress up like Dorothy
and butt fuck a dude while he 69s Morrissey
Yeah no homo but I wish I lived in Ancient Greece
to gave young socrates the illful release
Hey no homo but today I'm coming out the closet
and I scream it from the mountains like a gay prophet
those two words have set me free (no homo)
damn it feels good to be (no homo)